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View Poll Results: For what kind of crime would you NOT continue correspondence?
Robbery (house/building/bank/person) 14 4.40%
Assault/Battery 27 8.49%
Financial crimes (Embezzlement/Racketeering, etc.) 12 3.77%
Murder/Manslaughter/Homicide (or other crimes involving death) 82 25.79%
Drug Possession/Trafficking/Conspiracy/etc. (and drug-related crimes) 15 4.72%
Treason/espionage crimes 19 5.97%
Violent crimes (sexual crimes/rape/dismemberment but not resulting in death) 213 66.98%
Arson/Recklessness/Mayhem (damage to property but not necessarily to people) 17 5.35%
Too many factors involved to come to a decisive answer 52 16.35%
Depends on the crime/circumstances/external influences 89 27.99%
Other crime not listed (please post if able) 39 12.26%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 318. You may not vote on this poll

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  #51  
Old 10-12-2007, 10:19 AM
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Simply, no.
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  #52  
Old 10-18-2007, 04:23 PM
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I would not write to a rapist, Or child molester. Just the thought turn's my stomach!, so i would not be able to write at all.
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  #53  
Old 10-30-2007, 05:43 PM
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I already posted in this thread... but something else just popped in my head...
I don't ever recall even asking any of my pen pals about their crime. When befriendind someone behind bars, their crime really doesn't play a role. But, usually by about the 3rd or 4th letter, they will volunteer what they're in for.
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  #54  
Old 11-07-2007, 12:36 PM
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I never asked my guy to tell me about what happened, he freely offered to tell me some of the circumstances surrounding his lockup. I felt that exchanging a few letters without knowing any more than the D.O.C. website told me would allow me the opportunity to get to know him as a person first, and if he chose to share information with me (which he did...) that also made a big impression on me, which showed that he has taken enough ownership of what he has done that he is comfortable talking about it and admitting that he made a mistake. I am aware he is an inmate, and that he has done something very wrong, but I am not writing to an offense or an offender, I am writing to a person, and before someone is a criminal- be it a drug user, child molester, murderer, rapist, etc they are people, and I think that a lot of the recidivism in this society occurs because of igorance of that fact.
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  #55  
Old 11-07-2007, 04:14 PM
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I draw the line at child molesters and serial killers ie the likes of Ted Bundy etc...
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  #56  
Old 11-08-2007, 07:00 PM
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I don't think I ever asked him why he was in prison? during one of our visits, he mentioned if I wanted to know why he was there, I was free to read his trial transcripts at the local courthouse and so I did.

At that point did it matter?...NO

Speaking of Ted Bundy, I met him in the visiting room at FSP in the 80's at the time I was 18 and had no clue who he was or why he was in there, he was just introduced as Ted, but even not knowing why he was there, there was just something skin crawley and Erie about him that made me want to sit FAR away from the man.
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  #57  
Old 11-09-2007, 02:46 PM
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[quote=merelyme] but even not knowing why he was there, there was just something skin crawley and Erie about him that made me want to sit FAR away from the man.

I call it a womans intuition...it's saved me a couple of times - thankfuly not form a serial killer just a few loosers!
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  #58  
Old 11-11-2007, 11:31 AM
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The crime does not matter to me as long as they do not lie about it and show some type of remorse..
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  #59  
Old 11-11-2007, 11:34 AM
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yeah, I won't write serial killers, serial rapists, dismemberment, crimes against kids, anyone who seems to have committed their crime as some sort of sick hobby. Sorry but it's different if this is what their spare time is dedicated to.


They won't volunteer that they have committed these crimes so it's up to you to know who you are writing. Like my man says, you should know who you are getting involved with. Damn right I should and I did when I used to write others.

Last edited by esteli; 11-11-2007 at 11:37 AM..
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  #60  
Old 11-24-2007, 12:06 AM
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Sexual Attacks as In torture ect - cant put sex offender as Its such a variable with people carrying that title for their partner who was underage ect. Serial killers - as In Gross crimes showing a perverted mind. Murder on a Business level - haha sorry guys but thats how I see dealing ect - not a problem. Murder of torture type circumstances or extemeties to the General Public - No thanks. I do check the court documents ect - Its not hard to google here in Australia - and I make my own choice on It. But Id never go In not knowing hoping for the best .. or just cut contact - I see that as more damaging to them then taking the time - checking It out and deciding never to write in the first place. Better for everyone concerned In my opinion.
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  #61  
Old 11-30-2007, 08:42 PM
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it doesnt matter to me what they have done to wind up in prison. i used to think violent crimes or crimes where a mother would kill her children would bother me. i am at the point in my life where i feel pretty much everyone could use a friend in their life and who am i to judge what he or she has done. i have not walked in their shoes nor have they walked in mine.randr
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  #62  
Old 12-01-2007, 03:23 PM
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itīs not important for me if the person is incarcerated because of robbery or financial crimes or things like that, but being in prison because of rape or in general sexual crimes is a no-go! Am I judging? I donīt think so...I need to know what sort of person he/she is...
Iīm sorry if this sounds hard, but I couldnīt square this with my conscience...

Sarah
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  #63  
Old 12-02-2007, 02:02 AM
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I've only had one penpal so I can't really say for sure, it generally depends on the circumstances, I keep in mind there is the possibility of innocence as well. IMO honesty is important. I'd tell them outright I am judgmental about some things and how I feel about them. I'm generally tolerant and could even correspond with serial killers, but I can't stand child abuse and animal cruelty. I think I wouldn't continue corresponding if they were child abusers and/or cruel to animals and enjoyed it. But I'd have to hear from them because if I found out something from the Internet/media it could very well be BS. With my penpal I read about his crime because someone sent me some links. I didn't ask him about it but let him tell me exactly what he felt comfortable with.

Last edited by Ravenheart; 12-02-2007 at 02:03 AM..
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  #64  
Old 12-22-2007, 03:52 PM
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I didn't want anyone who had commited a crime against a child. Out side of that i wanted to give them the benifit of the doubt. I never focused on why they where in prison because i like to think they have changed and gave them the chance to show me they had. I was just hoping maybe i could be a positive influance in their lives and show them that someone does care about them. I also found out that some times they have commited a crime that wasn't listed on the profile. So you really can't go by that any way I found out.
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  #65  
Old 01-12-2008, 09:38 AM
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I think it depends on the situation. I have a friend who is in for murder, I actually grew up with him, on the terms of penpals, I think it depends on the person and crime.
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  #66  
Old 02-10-2008, 11:10 PM
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i don't go by the crime when writing to someone. i go by who isn't getting any mail to begin with then i look at the most amount of hits that add has, then if they are interesting enough in their introduction i will write if they do however write in their decription that they are in there for a crime they didn't commit i don't consider writing to them because i believe things happen for reasons and you don't get yourself in there for doing nothing
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  #67  
Old 02-18-2008, 12:48 PM
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i don't write sex offenders or any thing that has to do with willingly harming a child because that makes me sick and sooner or later whether you admit it the subject of their crime is going to come up and i often send pictures of me and my children to my pen pals so i couldn't stand the mere ideal of a child pornography person looking at my babies
but any other crimes i will write you
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  #68  
Old 02-18-2008, 01:00 PM
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Default Pen pals and addresses?

I was wondering for those of you who do have pen pals incarcerated, are you using your own return address? Is this safe? What does one do, get a post office box?
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  #69  
Old 02-19-2008, 12:13 AM
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i live in australia and i only write pals that are over seas. i use to rent a po box (which i just had to go to the post office) and then i realised it was a bit of a waste because the letters take so long to come back so i just gave my pals my home address. i don't feel threatened in anyway but if i was writing pals in my own country then i would think about it abit more.
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Old 02-23-2008, 06:22 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CountryJ
The things that bothered me when I was looking for a pen pal were ones that either locked up for crimes against children, wheather it be neglect, molestation, whatever. And then I would not want to write to anyone with a sex crime.

My girl is in for murder, but she was in the car in the parking lot when it went down inside. So I feel differently than if she were convicted and was the one who actually did the act. She says she didn't know what the guy she was with was going to do when he went in.

No one knows the truth except her and him, all I know is the person who has served 14 years for her crime, and I like the person she is now. She hasn't given me a reason for me to think she has been dishonest at all.

Hi, I read your post and understand. My bother in law (ex) is in for life for Joint ventur conviction. He didnt commit the murder but was there! His friend killed an old man in his mobile home for jars of change. Its so sad. Well anywhooo he was there and didnt call police. I feel though I will never truely know everything that happened because only HE knows! Someday maybe he will tell all. I am against writing to people for crimes against children as well. Thats about the only thing I cannot get past unfortuniatly! (sp)?
Kim
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  #71  
Old 02-23-2008, 06:24 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jr08
i live in australia and i only write pals that are over seas. i use to rent a po box (which i just had to go to the post office) and then i realised it was a bit of a waste because the letters take so long to come back so i just gave my pals my home address. i don't feel threatened in anyway but if i was writing pals in my own country then i would think about it abit more.
HI,
That was my only concern as well. I didn't know if you could use a po box to write to prisoners. BUT, I really feel that mail is important to them! My ex brother in law is in Walpole for life so I understand that and thats why I am looking for pen pals.
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  #72  
Old 02-23-2008, 06:26 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jr08
i don't go by the crime when writing to someone. i go by who isn't getting any mail to begin with then i look at the most amount of hits that add has, then if they are interesting enough in their introduction i will write if they do however write in their decription that they are in there for a crime they didn't commit i don't consider writing to them because i believe things happen for reasons and you don't get yourself in there for doing nothing
Good point. I guess if someone has made progress by admitting their wrong doings that would be the person I would want to write to!
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  #73  
Old 02-24-2008, 06:31 AM
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You have to know if the sex crime really happened first of all you can't just assumed that it did. An older girl say 14-15can say that this is what he did and he can land in prison just like my son. My son has children of his own and would no sooner touch one of those kids and has not they have been asked this girl was angry with Michael because he wouldn't let her use his van, but is anyone going to listen to the guy? No it's all about the girl who is lieing through her teeth. My son has never been in trouble even had a clean record. This stinks! Sorry this just makes me angry. Sex crimes really do happen and girls like this need to be put away and get some help. The sad part is that this is the 2nd guy she has done this too. She just turned 15. Thank you for listening to me. Listen to the person who is in for the crime before you punish them for it please! Thank you.
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  #74  
Old 02-24-2008, 07:20 AM
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i am against any crime against women and children. Rape, domestic violence, molestation and rape of little children. Murder, yes, that too. I will say that I married a man convicted by the state of murder, but I also know that the real murderer is still out in the free world while my husband pays the price for him. We all have our own set of values and opinions and that is what guides us. If you are comfortable with what they have done in your heart, then you will have no problem giving them your address to write you. If you are afraid, then your mind is telling you what to do. Each inmate has a particular set of circumstances, and also remember too, some will lie, they are so desperate for contact with someone.
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  #75  
Old 02-29-2008, 04:28 PM
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I don't think I could ever write a man in for abusing a woman. These types never seem to really change. I know you should never say "never", but this is something I'm pretty adamant about.
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