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View Poll Results: Why do you have penpals?
I am in a relationship or looking for a relationship. 50 13.09%
I write because I can make a difference. 191 50.00%
I write out of curiousity or am interested in discussing things with them 80 20.94%
I write my friends, family, or acquaintenances. 61 15.97%
Voters: 382. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
Old 05-24-2005, 05:43 AM
flygirlaa2 flygirlaa2 is offline
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Default Why Do You Have Penpals?

I am going to make a poll asking why you have penpals. I am curious as to why people choose to write or better yet, what need it fills in their lives.

I am going to make a separate vote just for those in a relationship because I personally am asking about those who are not looking for a relationship.
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  #2  
Old 05-24-2005, 05:54 AM
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Unfortunately my pen pal was executed a couple of weeks ago, but the reason I initially wrote to him was because I saw his penpal ad on the CCADP site and thought that I could offer him friendship and share some of our experiences since we grew up on opposite sides of the world. I was right- it was a rewarding experience and we built a nice friendship that I will never forget. I will always miss him, and although it hurt my heart when he was murdered, I don't regret it for a second.
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Old 05-24-2005, 06:03 AM
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Kerrie, I am sorry to hear that. I only recently got a DR penpal for the first time and I am very afraid I might live to see him executed. I dont know how I will take it.
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Old 05-24-2005, 06:36 AM
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Sorry to hear that hun. I too write some on death row, and also do not know how I will handle it when the time comes, if it comes.
I know I make a difference. One of my death row pals is originally from Kentucky like me. He loves Ky basketball. I go to the University of Ky and work in a cafe where the men's and women's basketball players eat, so I got him alot of their autographs. He has made me the most beautiful cards I have ever seen. It is a very rewarding experience.
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Old 05-24-2005, 10:34 AM
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I write to all of my people because I like to think that I might bring a bit of cheer into their lives. I detest the death penalty and way that penal system is set up. We need some serious reform, but in the mean time we have people who are warehoused away and slowly losing their minds because of the condtions in which they are forced to live. I have deathrow people in different conditions all over this country and I have ones who are constantly hungry because their prioson won't give them enough to eat, and I have ones whose medical conditions are being allowed to worsen because they refuse to give them proper care. I could go on and on about this subject, but I guess that I write to them because I want them to at least be able to say to themselves that someone out there in the real world cares about them and what is happening to them.


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Old 05-24-2005, 10:44 AM
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Why do I have pen pals? because I feel like I have something to offer, I have friendship to offer, I also write to two men on DR and they have been become a very important part of my life, I get as much as they get from me. I can handle writing to those in need because I am a RN and I have been around, sadness, grief, the process of dying and Im able to cope well, does not mean that it does not effect me. writing these inmates has made me discover myself as well, made me appreciate the littlest things I take for granted.
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Old 05-24-2005, 10:46 AM
BlueEyes01 BlueEyes01 is offline
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I am sorry for your loss Kezcat.
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Old 05-24-2005, 11:04 AM
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i have been writing to my pen pal on dr now for 4 years now and dont regret any time of it we bring rays of sunshine into each other lifes
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Old 05-24-2005, 11:13 AM
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I started writing to my guy as I love to write letters originally, the friendship grew and after a couple of visits I asked him to marry me valentines day of this year. although apart by locks chains bars and doors plus the atlantic ocean we are to be married later this year. He brings sunshine to my normal cloudy day, gives me love that i thought id never deserve and i send him my sunshine, news and love. I dont know where Id be without him in my life. Long way from london to san francisco but its worth every mile to see him, hold him, kiss him and just plain be with him. Im really sorry for your loss, I can but only imagine what it feels like to lose him, I hope and pray that through the long arduous process of appeals my man will get the freedom his deserves for a crime he is not guilty of.
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Old 05-24-2005, 01:15 PM
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Congratulations on your upcoming wedding.


Georgia
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Old 05-24-2005, 01:59 PM
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I started having penpals because i wanted to make a difference in their lives... i Wanted to bring something different into their lives that is so repetative. I wanted to know that there was someone here on the outside who gives a damn about those that are locked away and sometimes forgotten!
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Old 05-24-2005, 02:34 PM
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Due to my medical conditions I'm pretty much inside most of the time. I'm isolated and it's a way for me to have contact with someone who'll be there no matter what I can do or not do at the time.
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Old 05-24-2005, 04:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kezcat
Unfortunately my pen pal was executed a couple of weeks ago, but the reason I initially wrote to him was because I saw his penpal ad on the CCADP site and thought that I could offer him friendship and share some of our experiences since we grew up on opposite sides of the world. I was right- it was a rewarding experience and we built a nice friendship that I will never forget. I will always miss him, and although it hurt my heart when he was murdered, I don't regret it for a second.
I'm so sorry.
My inmate was sentenced to death and then it was reduced to life. I don't know if I could handle that though.

I write to mine because I've heard a lot about his case and so I wrote to him. He wrote back and seemed like such a great guy so I continued writing to him
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Old 05-24-2005, 07:21 PM
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I started penpaling because I was doing a speech for Toastmasters on Native Americans and volunteering with an organization that assisted Natives and wanted a penpal to learn more about the culture. A google brought up penpal sites and from one I recruited a talented artist to design a brochure for the Health Department. I was such a good experience that after 2 yrs. I thought I could take on more. Not only do I want to take their minds out of prison and help reduce the recidivism rate but I am addicted to getting daily mail and having several close friends with whom I can bare my soul. I think I get much more out of this than they do.
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Old 05-25-2005, 01:10 AM
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I wrote my pals initially because I tried to put myself in their shoes, and imagined how I would want friends to write to, if I were in that situation. Prison is a lonely, desperate place, and I can only imagine how good it must feel to know one is not forgotten and acknowledged that they are still a human being. It's been a very rewarding experience for me, and I feel I have learned so much about life as a result. All 3 of my pals are very different people, but each has brought a lot of sunshine into my life.
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Old 05-25-2005, 10:22 AM
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Quote:
I am curious as to why people choose to write or better yet, what need it fills in their lives.
Good question, Flygirl!

You know, I'm still not sure of all the reasons I wrote to my first penpal. I stumbled across her ad accidentally; she was attractive, the paragraph she had written seemed intelligent, she wasn't looking for a relationship, and she seemed lonely. I was curious about the people we send to prison, what circumstances landed them there, what prison was like, and how someone's life could be changed by prison. So, I got a PO Box, and I wrote.

Now I have five penpals. The first one will get out in five years, the others are all serving life sentences. The only characteristic they shared when I wrote to them was that none of them were looking for romantic relationships. The reason I wrote to them was that I liked writing to my first penpal so much.

The need it fills is a hard question to answer well, but I think the best answer I have is that, in my mid-40s, I have no kids of my own. These young women are almost all young enough to be my daughters, and in a sense, I feel like they are my kids (and for the two I'm closest to, I love them like they are my daughters). I know that the only reason we're communicating is because they're in prison, and when they get out we'll probably lose touch with each other. I find that I'm always torn between two desires: on one hand I wish I could make that day happen sooner, and on the other hand I dread its arrival. Even so, I know I'd always choose to make the day come sooner...
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Old 05-29-2005, 04:48 PM
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Last year, my third son left for college, which left me with an "empty nest". Although I run two businesses and am very active at my church, I still felt a void. For a long time, I had considered starting a prison ministry through the church. Then in October, I took on four death row inmates in four different states. Soon after, I added a fifth one (not death row). I would not trade this experience for anything! I still write to three out of the five; one has actually become my sweetie! I am going to visit him and another one later this year.

When I started doing this, I thought I could enrich their lives in some way - they have enriched mine ten times over!!! And I tell them that all the time . . .
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Old 05-29-2005, 08:51 PM
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I write my penpal because I like writing. Also, since I know how much my boyfriend and his friends like getting mail, I like knowing that it gives someone something to look forward to.
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Old 05-29-2005, 08:58 PM
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I'm so sorry Kezcat

I started writing my pen pals because they were my boyfriends friends who he was in prison with for a few years,after he came home we both still wrote them and they wrote us.He has since dumped me AND them but I continue to correspond with them as they are very nice guys who value my friendship and mail as I do theirs and have tried to help me through this rough time.
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Old 05-29-2005, 09:36 PM
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I just wanted to say I really admire all of you who write the forgotten ones in prison. You make a difference!
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Old 05-30-2005, 05:54 AM
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Default why I write

I write not to fill a need in my life, but to fill a need in his. It's nothing romantic, it's just pure friendship and support. I hope if it were me I'd meet someone willing to take the time out of their day as well for me. I notice changes in his letters if I reread the old ones, he seemed skittish then, but now he is sentimental regarding his kids, what he wants to do, etc. Sorry If I rambled.

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Old 05-30-2005, 06:11 AM
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Garyfriend, are you sure you arent filling a need of yours? Sometimes I think many write because they need to feel they are saving someone or doing a good deed.
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Old 07-03-2005, 02:12 PM
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I write my pen pals because I don't beleive that anyone in this world should ever feel forgotten or lonely, been there and done that, it sucks. I just feel that we all need a friend and someone who cares and will listen to us, someone that will be with us not only through the good times but the bad as well. I just like to let them know that someone does care and it's me!
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Old 03-11-2006, 09:38 AM
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My reasons for writing has changed since I started 4 years ago. Now I can say all of the above reasons.

I have just located a distant cousin in jail who was in my class in grade school and we are having fun getting to know one another (as friends--we weren't kissing cousins LOL!).

Now I have at least 13 penpals and it sometimes becomes a burden because my life has gotten a lot busier but I have learned to budget my time and grab every spare moment to write.
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Old 03-20-2006, 03:23 PM
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Good question,

Well for like 2 years i have bin thinking about writing to someone in prison,it never really happened,i was scared etc..

then about a year ago i came across this ad,i gnored it but few mnths later i went back looking for where i found the ad. last eid(muslim celebration) i wanted to make someones day, i didnt know if i was the only person that wuld reply,i wanted to do a good deed,i study at hme and work from home,so i had loads of time in my hands...i knew i could afford the time etc...so i wrote a short note and wished him a lovely eid....i didnt get a letter,i was so worried and was thinking of him..neways 2wks after i sent it,i got a letter..that was like the happiest day!

Now i feel so fulfilled, i am so happy,he is my sunshine..i dnt wanna have another penpal yet...as i dunno aw i will cope with another one... he is a true sweetheart and very intelligent,i wonder what all these brilliant people are doin in prison.
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