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  #1  
Old 02-21-2007, 04:17 PM
Porifera Porifera is offline
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Default As a general rule: what to wear/what NOT to wear?

Hi everybody,

I am going to visit my BF for the 1st time this weekend and I'm extremely nervous (I have never entered a jail before). Could you give me some advice as of what to wear, what not to wear? Just as a general rule. Are jeans, sweater, sneakers ok? I am going to dress down and try not to look provocative aka. too sexy LOL

*.......soooo nervous and excited at the same time *

Thank you!!!
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Old 02-21-2007, 04:57 PM
SunnyChick SunnyChick is offline
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Hi Annick,

If I remember correctly, your guy is in a county facility. Even so, I'd recommend that you go to the post that's up above your post -- it's the second one listed -- "Sticky: Visitation Policies for Mass State Correctional Facilities." Click on a couple of the different facilities, and as you scroll down, you should come to sections under each prison that are called something like "Dress Code." Even though they're for state facilities, I imagine the county jails wouldn't be too much different.

My personal recommendation would be to wear something comfortable. I think jeans are okay for women but not for male visitors (double-check this though, since that might have been the practice I was familiar with but not universal at all other facilities).

Remember that you can't wear most jewelry inside, and I don't think you can wear anything in your hair (no barrettes, clips, etc.).

You'll probably have to remove your shoes, so be prepared for that. I'm not sure if sneakers are allowed. My mind is blank on that.

If you wear an underwire bra, that might set the metal detector off, but then they usually just pass the wand over you. I've heard wacky stories about women being denied entry due to their bras, but I never saw that happen. If you want to avoid that problem altogether, wear a bra with plastic underwire or no underwire.

They might ask you to flip your hair around if you have long hair, and they sometimes ask you to open you mouth.

If you have clothing with no pockets, that might be a good choice. If you have pockets, they'll probably have you turn them out.

I'm trying to think of what else to tell you -- be sure to bring picture ID. Try to get there a little early. Bring change for the locker (I'm assuming they'll have lockers in the lobby for you to store your purse, jacket, and so forth). Many state facilities have machines in the lobby where you can buy a card to take in with you -- the card can then be used in the food/beverage vending machines. I don't know if the county jails provide this or not.

Try to relax if you can. I bet you're more excited than nervous. I hope you have a wonderful visit, and be sure to let us know all about it when you get back. I don't do visits, so I have to live vicariously through all you lucky gals who get to go to see your guys. Enjoy and have fun,

SunnyChick
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Old 02-21-2007, 08:10 PM
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shiva65 shiva65 is offline
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Annick.. where do you visit.?? most prisons/jails/ are what sunny had written above..

however when i had visited walpole (behind glass) they let you wear sandals! open toes.. (which i love)>> hate sneakers.. and you could wear your hair up.. soo it depends really where your going~ most are the above ..

Good luck with your visit and enjoy.. i feel your excitement !!
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Old 02-22-2007, 07:36 PM
Porifera Porifera is offline
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thank you sooo much for your advice. I'll visit Norfolk County Sheriff's Office and Correctional Center in Dedham, MA. Nobody seems to have any info on that particular jail

I think the visits are at a table (no glass). Will they bring him there in hand cuffs? Cause that would be a little shocker....I don't wanna see him like that

My heart is already pounding hahahaha
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Old 02-22-2007, 07:50 PM
haswtch haswtch is offline
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Think nun on her day off, you'll be fine! have fun
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Old 02-22-2007, 08:00 PM
SunnyChick SunnyChick is offline
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Hi Annick,

All that I'm personally familiar with are the procedures in Mass state prisons (medium security), and the guys would not be in hand cuffs there. They'd usually be dressed in jeans and a shirt, and in most of the medium security facilities you'd sit in the visiting room in chairs arranged side-by-side. If you're at a table, seated facing him, that might actually be more comfortable.

At a county jail, the guys might be in scrubs or jumpsuits -- or maybe not -- I'm no authority on the country joints. I guess we don't have a member who's familiar with the Dedham facility you're visiting, but we do have members who have visited other county jails, so maybe they can give you a little better information than I can.

I will tell you this though -- I seriously doubt that they'll bring him to the VR in hand cuffs/leg shackles, but if they do, you keep your head high, look in his eyes, smile, and don't allow "them" to take any of the pleasure away from seeing him. He's the one who's important, and spending time with him is what really matters. Don't give "them" any power over your emotions. You're going to be just fine. Trust me, SunnyChick
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Old 02-22-2007, 11:16 PM
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i am pretty sure that this is a minimum security jail.

thank you everybody for your advice and your kind words. i am soooooo nervous.... i just imagine walking through these automatic gates and then waiting for him until they bring him out. i am just so uncomfortable with the prison system. on top of that he told me that he'll not be able to hold back and he WILL give me a hug no matter what. now i REALLY don't want him to get into trouble, so i might have to push him back?????


ahhhh, all these questions in my head
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Old 02-23-2007, 12:57 AM
SunnyChick SunnyChick is offline
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Annick,

I don't know what to tell you about that -- from what I've heard, it can often depend on the guards who are posted in the VR at the time you're there. In general, I believe that a hug and a kiss are allowed, but not a lengthy or obviously passionate display. I guess a good rule of thumb would be to remember that there may be children present and perhaps some older parents and/or grandparents of inmates, so it's only courteous to be mindful of their presence. I think it's appropriate to give your guy a hug and a kiss to show him your affection, but then sit down and visit. You'll probably find that you have lots of things to talk about.

When you leave, you can also give him a hug and a kiss -- if it's like the facilities I'm familiar with. As far as YOU getting him into trouble, I think you have it backwards. He's inside. He should be learning the system, and it's up to him to make you feel comfortable and to keep you both out of trouble with the VR guards. Follow his lead, and tell him you're doing that. Tell him that you're trusting him to take care of things so that there are no problems and so that you can come back for future visits. These guys need to learn responsibility, and they'll step up to the plate if they know you expect them to. Incidentally, if this is a Minimum you're going to, things will be even more relaxed that what we've been describing here.

Try to relax, and just think, a week from now you'll be an old pro at all this. Take care, SunnyChick
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Old 02-28-2007, 02:31 AM
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OK, i did it and it went very well . this prison appears to be one of the nicer ones: clean, modern, friendly guards (at least to me They have both contact and non-contact visits. There was no real dress code, except no revealing clothes jewlery, and hats. they didn't even search me, i just had to go through a metal detector. It was really easy *relieved* lol.

Now i'm almost a pro LOL
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Old 02-28-2007, 02:32 AM
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ohhh, but no hugging and kissing
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Old 02-28-2007, 07:43 PM
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Annick it 's nice to read "happy" ier news.. good for you / happy to hear/read you had a great visit.. how those butterflys' ?

For years i would get butterflys in my belly visiting / the anticipation.. of seeing my husbands face.. was SOOO AWESOME ..

thanks for sharing
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