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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

 
 
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Old 09-08-2017, 10:56 AM
Lorp Lorp is offline
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Default Help with controlling boyfriend

So the first couple months he was in, we were doing alright, but I was also only staying home and working. I didn't do anything for myself, nothing fun, I didn't see my friends or talk to anyone. Finally after a couple months I realized I had to live my life because I wasn't the one in jail, so I stated seeing all my friends again, I got a third job at a local bar that's really fun, I'm doing things for myself. I still talk to him on the phone every day and see him three times a week as long as my job doesn't get in the way. Ever since then, he's completely changed into a different person it seems like. He's mean to me, upset at me all the time for no reason. Anytime I'm hanging out with my friends, male or female, he gets upset and says I don't make time for him anymore. He says I'm not affectionate anymore and I don't try to relate to him. When I have conversations about random things, like things that are going on at work, or random gossip I share with him, he says he doesn't care about it or that I'm taking too long to tell the story. He says I don't do enough and I only care about myself, but I've given up so many things to be able to make him comfortable, and these are just a few of the things I've had to deal with. On top of that he asks me if I'm cheating on him on a daily basis. Since this behavior has started I've been telling him that I can see signs of this becoming emotionally abusive and that I want nip these things in the bud because I've been in a relationship like that, and it took me years to leave and I told myself I would never put myself in a situation like that again. I told him I wouldn't stick around if he doesn't try to change this behavior and have offered solutions and asked what I can do to help. Nothing changed. I had the conversation with him about actually breaking up a couple of days ago. Now he's saying that he didn't realize how serious I was about leaving and he's now realizing that he never should've treated me that way, that he's been selfish and there's no excuse for it and he regrets messing up our relationship and wants to make it better. I told him I need to think about it because now I have these feelings of animosity toward our relationship that I'm not sure I can fix, and if he can treat me like that to begin with then he can do it again. He says it'll be different when he gets out, but I don't see how. I want it to work, I love him more than anything, he's my world. And when he was out he treated me like a princess. I just don't know what to do anymore, I'm frustrated and tired and confused. I do my best in this relationship, but I don't know if I should stick around and see if it actually gets better, or if I should end it now while it's still relatively early in his bid.
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