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  #1  
Old 01-18-2010, 06:00 PM
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Default Can a parolee live with his co-defendant?

hello , i have a question here, are there any laws in the parole department stating that a parollee cannot live with his/her co-defendant? i didnt get any felonies just two misdemeanors and im worried about this please help. were getting married so well, we were gonna wait till he comes home but should we just do it now???
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  #2  
Old 01-18-2010, 07:31 PM
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"Usually" and I stress that strongly... The Parolee is not allowed to have contact with his or her Co-Defendant. However as you plead to charges that were not felonies, and plus you are marrying him.. Thats an iffy one...

The theory is you both would feed off each others "criminal" mindset and the chance of re-offending would be higher.

Not saying you are that way, I am talking the MDOC way of thinking. However I also think alot would depend on the type of crime, your relationshp etc... I would call the MDOC and the Parole board to find out. I am willing to bet they will not committ to anything.

You may need to get an attorney involved once he is paroled. If you make too much of a stink about it now...... Parole board gets ticked....
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Old 01-18-2010, 08:46 PM
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I am surprised that you are able to have contact now. Quite often that isn't allowed either so maybe if you are able to have contact now it won't be a big issue with the parole board either.

I agree with Never Forget...sometimes its better to let sleeping dogs lie.
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Old 01-19-2010, 02:55 PM
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I am surprised that you are able to have contact now. Quite often that isn't allowed either so maybe if you are able to have contact now it won't be a big issue with the parole board either.

I agree with Never Forget...sometimes its better to let sleeping dogs lie.
okay, im gonna listen to both of your advices, however the question remains, should we marry now??? also, should i write some letter of support explaining how im gonna build him up instead of letting him bring me down? it was a drug crime and they know he sucked me into it.
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Old 01-19-2010, 06:30 PM
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I have to say this... in regards to this...

Quote:
should we marry now??? also, should i write some letter of support explaining how im gonna build him up instead of letting him bring me down? it was a drug crime and they know he sucked me into it
Look into your heart and answer that question.
Think of what happened and ask yourself would he do it again. If you Love him and he loves you and that love is true and real.... then you know the answer allready.
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Old 01-19-2010, 06:57 PM
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As Never Forget says, make sure that you are marrying for the right reason. If you think that it will matter on whether you can have contact or not, it won't. They can restrict contact even if you are married. That doesn't mean that they will but they can.

So whether to get married now or not is up to the two of you and how you feel. Only you can evaluate that.
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Old 01-19-2010, 07:29 PM
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Not sure if you're not married. If you are married, and were co-defendants he can parole to your home, even if you had felonies.
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Old 01-20-2010, 06:19 PM
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Not sure if you're not married. If you are married, and were co-defendants he can parole to your home, even if you had felonies.
hi DJB, i only have misdemeanors and his arus has known this shes the one who approved my app and thankyou for your encourageing words. were not married yet but were getting on the ball now. we were gonna wait but why bother waiting, itll make us happy and ill stop worrying. we both know we want to be together for the rest of our lives. thanks again
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Old 01-20-2010, 08:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Never Forget View Post
"Usually" and I stress that strongly... The Parolee is not allowed to have contact with his or her Co-Defendant. However as you plead to charges that were not felonies, and plus you are marrying him.. Thats an iffy one...

The theory is you both would feed off each others "criminal" mindset and the chance of re-offending would be higher.

Not saying you are that way, I am talking the MDOC way of thinking. However I also think alot would depend on the type of crime, your relationshp etc... I would call the MDOC and the Parole board to find out. I am willing to bet they will not committ to anything.

You may need to get an attorney involved once he is paroled. If you make too much of a stink about it now...... Parole board gets ticked....
ive talked with his arus she was pretty cool with me he got transferd to the rsat unit now he has a new arus. im not a criminal i made a mistake thats all. tell me this, from your point of veiw, how do i build him up? when i met his p.o. last year he said one of two things will happen, your gonna build him up or hes gonna bring you down. there prolly gonna ask me that ya know? how are you gonna build him up this time? i dont want my answer to sound convalted or go into overkill. i know whats in my heart but verbalizing is hard for me especialy when they freak me out the way they do. i just wanna add, i have the best man ive ever met and everything i do everything im going through im doing it for him. for us, im trying to learn something here. thanks for your time and i hope all is well with you
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Old 01-20-2010, 09:52 PM
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From my point of view......

When I walked into prison I within ONE day lost my wife, she left me. She took everything I had, car, home, money, belongings.... My 2 girls were with my Mom and my Dad was in the Hospital dying as he had a horrible accident right before I went in. That was November 2004....

In January 05 my Brother died of heart issues... Needless to say I was done, finished emotionally. I figured I was a piece of crap, a nothing.....

However what brought me from that deep dark hole I was in, what made me want to change and what made me get that "fire" to become the man I am today... Family.

Family stood by me, my Mom... Sister... Daughters... They never let me deny what I did, they allways told me I was better, I could be better... They helped me when I was wronged, and got on my butt when I was wrong.... My Mom knew what my wife did, and she always let me know I had a place to come home to, and help was there for me AS LONG AS I MADE CHANGES.......

Be there for him, but be there in a positive way. Dont let him blame anyone for what happened. Dont let him deny what he did was wrong.... Be the one that he knows will be there when the gates open.

I made a dedication in my book ERD to my Mom. The dedication says it all...

Always an encouraging word, Always a well placed critique.
Always there for me... There for 33.
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  #11  
Old 01-20-2010, 10:03 PM
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Quote:
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From my point of view......

When I walked into prison I within ONE day lost my wife, she left me. She took everything I had, car, home, money, belongings.... My 2 girls were with my Mom and my Dad was in the Hospital dying as he had a horrible accident right before I went in. That was November 2004....

In January 05 my Brother died of heart issues... Needless to say I was done, finished emotionally. I figured I was a piece of crap, a nothing.....

However what brought me from that deep dark hole I was in, what made me want to change and what made me get that "fire" to become the man I am today... Family.

Family stood by me, my Mom... Sister... Daughters... They never let me deny what I did, they allways told me I was better, I could be better... They helped me when I was wronged, and got on my butt when I was wrong.... My Mom knew what my wife did, and she always let me know I had a place to come home to, and help was there for me AS LONG AS I MADE CHANGES.......

Be there for him, but be there in a positive way. Dont let him blame anyone for what happened. Dont let him deny what he did was wrong.... Be the one that he knows will be there when the gates open.

I made a dedication in my book ERD to my Mom. The dedication says it all...

Always an encouraging word, Always a well placed critique.
Always there for me... There for 33.
thankyou, i sent him a book in hope that i was giving him a tool to change, called wild at heart by john eldredge. you just inspired a thought neverforget i can say im going to build him up by giving him tools to change. is that good?
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Old 01-20-2010, 10:05 PM
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neverforget, i just wanna add im sorry for your losses of loved ones.
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Old 01-21-2010, 12:42 AM
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So Sorry Never Forget....when we feel sorry for ourselves we can find another who has it worse...I lost my nephew and lost my Bro physically and mentally ...You have gone through worse ...God Bless you for pushing on...Thank You for the reminder
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Old 01-21-2010, 03:15 PM
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As I said in another post...it is not your responsibility to keep him from failing. It is his!!! Yes you can build him up but even that is only part of the job. He has to build himself up and look inside of himself tobe a better man. You can't make him be anything or do anything.

My husband was in a very dark place when I met him as well. I support him and love him. He is the one that chooses to change who he is and the choices that he makes. He is an absolutely wonderful man and I could never love anyone as much as I do him but that is because he found it within himself to become a better man for me and for him!!
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Old 01-22-2010, 12:39 AM
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hello, thankyou all so much for the support. i was pretty much an emotional wreck last night and thanks to all for helping me. ive put things in a bright perspective i think and so im going to build him up as muuuch as i can from my end. your all right it is up to him... im going to give him the same tools that were givin to me to change. im going to stand by him and love him just i have from the get. im going to encourage him to do the right things always. and most of all im going to keep him on a short leash lol... seriously though i am. hes a good man hes been the best to me, and i just want to thank everyone who was there for me last night one more time, thanks!!!
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Old 01-22-2010, 06:59 AM
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I appreciate everyones words.. I was truly in a dark place but now what more can I ask for.. I am free, sitting here drinking some good coffee... I have my family.... Everytime I get down and feel mopey... I think of one thing..

My worst day out here will always be better then my best day in there....

And daddasboo....
Sincere advice here... I dont think it is a matter of YOU building him up. He has to do that as an individual. However you can be a strong motivator for him to change if you show him there is a life without drugs, and if you love him and are there for him.

I admire what you are doing. However always keep in mind.. You did wrong and you decided to change. You at soem time and moment said I AM WRONG.. I AM DONE LIVING THIS WAY... he needs to do that also.

Be strong for him. Be there for him. Support him emotionally by listening to him. However it is HE who has to mke that "inner decision", that deep "core" decision that he wants not only you, but a moral and law abiding life with you.

ONLY he can make that deep core decision.
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Old 01-24-2010, 12:16 AM
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thanks again, okay i need you all again but im okay tonight but um... Lmao okay do you think i could be his rep? My computer is down im doing this from my mobile lmao some more wtf
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Old 01-24-2010, 12:17 AM
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hey can someone tell me what my ticker says? Lmao even harder
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Old 01-25-2010, 05:18 PM
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Just remember one thing daddasboo only HE can change himself, and HE is the one responsible for doing it. If he fails, he can't blame anyone but himself. Blunt, yes, but true. The true path to recovery from anything is taking personal responsibility for your acts.
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Old 10-08-2017, 09:27 PM
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Default Good question!

We are co defendants as well . thank you for sharing!
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