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Loving a Violent Offender Discuss the issues of having a violent offender as part of your life. Please keep in mind that some of us are married to violent offenders. Please remember that these offenders are human, and as such, can change... just like anyone else.

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  #51  
Old 05-30-2013, 09:53 AM
MayaDK MayaDK is offline
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My bf got 45yrs ... He´ll be eligible for parole in 2018.
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  #52  
Old 06-03-2013, 08:04 AM
SeoulPanda SeoulPanda is offline
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2nd degree. 37 1/2 to life.
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  #53  
Old 06-28-2013, 11:23 PM
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Don't give up, I was in for murder and received the "long ride" however after years of writs and filing motions I was out in 10, so there is hope.
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  #54  
Old 06-29-2013, 03:31 PM
Belyewluv Belyewluv is offline
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my husband is a second striker violent offender who got out after 16 1/2 yrs. we are still married, since 09, still holdin on. he got off parole but that exact day we got arrested at a church for doing nothing wrong!!! hang in there everyone. you can do it!
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  #55  
Old 07-19-2013, 10:20 AM
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My LO received 30 to Life.
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  #56  
Old 07-24-2013, 12:36 AM
Isabella69 Isabella69 is offline
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My LO received 15 to life eligible for parole 2022
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  #57  
Old 07-24-2013, 05:19 AM
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My bf was initially charged with murder and was looking at 25 or 25 to life but he took a plea so they drop it down to manslaughter nd gave him 12yrs he's done 4yrs now
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  #58  
Old 07-24-2013, 09:33 AM
Lauriann Lauriann is offline
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Mine got the death penalty. Has been in 23 years now. Are appealing it, won the first two. Praying hard. It was a bad situation that got worse. He did not set out to kill anyone and regrets it all totally, not just because he is in prison but because he is a human being and would have never ever done such a thing on purpose.
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  #59  
Old 08-19-2013, 08:05 PM
SomeRainbow SomeRainbow is offline
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20 years no parole. re lease date in 2027
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  #60  
Old 08-19-2013, 10:40 PM
Lexhearnes Lexhearnes is offline
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My LO received 25 to life, eligible for parole in 2016
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  #61  
Old 08-20-2013, 07:56 AM
Kerima Kerima is offline
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Mine received 35 years. He has been in 22 years. He comes up for parole again in 2015. It will be his 7th time before the Parole Board.

Stay strong!!
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  #62  
Old 08-20-2013, 10:35 PM
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my buddy got LWOP + 10 for using a gun. I don't think there's a person alive who's taken a life, whether first degree, manslaughter, or negligence, who doesn't regret everything that happened. I think they are plagued by the events for the rest of their lives, whether that life ends at the end of a needle, or after decades of good living at the end of a long life surrounded by loved ones. Only a true psychopath never regrets. Everybody else knows, keeps track, and mourns their entire life. They know the major life events their victim missed. They mourn them. It is a sad spot in their heart and soul that stays with them forever, but also helps to motivate them to do better, to take advantage of the life they have so the life they took wasn't completely in vain.

It takes a lifetime to wrap your mind around a lifetime that was never lived, and the ripple effects of the sorrow it's caused.

In my mind, the boy who stayed with me for a year while his mom got her shit together is still just that boy with an easy smile and a huge sense of responsibility. He's the kid that sat at my breakfast table and talked with me late into the night about his father's suicide, his sister's death, and his mom's break up. In my mind, he's also the young man who made a horrible mistake, and more than 10 years down the line, he's learning how to live a life behind bars.

In my mind, I still haven't completely let go of the expectation and fantasy that he would live a typical life - that right now, his kids would be at those wonderful ages of Little League and pond skating, where he'd be teaching them how to fish and working with his wife to raise a couple of good children. But, that is my fantasy. He murdered a man before he had the chance to create his own life, and define himself as a man.

As a result, that murder has helped to define himself as a man. I try to make sure that he's aware of his other good qualities that are also part of him as a man, especially since his mother subsequently died. It was a very difficult transition, but even behind bars with no expectation of getting out alive, he still has choices as to what kind of a man he wants to be, to grow into. He still has choices as to how he spends that time, and whether he will use that time to honor the life he took, or to end his own life through all the crap that people get up to in prison.

It still kills me that he's doing LWOP +10. He's still a little boy in my heart; a hurting little boy, and not a 30 + year old man who killed another man more than 10 years ago when he was barely legally an adult.

I really need to get down to Tennessee one of these days to visit him. They are hard visits, but he's still very much a part of my life, and I still think of him as a damned good kid.
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  #63  
Old 09-10-2013, 11:06 AM
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he got a life sentence at age 17, and has done 16 years so far. he'll be eligible for parole in 2028, but we're hoping for a miracle before then
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  #64  
Old 09-11-2013, 10:29 PM
HisSugarPie HisSugarPie is offline
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My love got 15 to life, he has served ten and is eligible for parole in 2018. From what he was told in March of this year, he actually does have maximum sentence date (not sure what the actual term is) of 2039.
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  #65  
Old 09-18-2013, 10:27 PM
stevenswifey303 stevenswifey303 is offline
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My husband is serving two life sentences plus 18 years without a possiblity of parole.
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  #66  
Old 01-10-2014, 09:38 PM
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My two loved ones

One got life and the other got twenty years and has already served ten
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  #67  
Old 01-11-2014, 03:42 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hns2009 View Post
For those of you whose LO is convicted of murder, what was their sentence if you don't mind me asking?
They condemned my husband to death. He is in San Quentin on death row now.
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Last edited by cardmina93212; 01-11-2014 at 03:46 AM..
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  #68  
Old 01-11-2014, 08:12 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yourself View Post
my buddy got LWOP + 10 for using a gun. I don't think there's a person alive who's taken a life, whether first degree, manslaughter, or negligence, who doesn't regret everything that happened. I think they are plagued by the events for the rest of their lives, whether that life ends at the end of a needle, or after decades of good living at the end of a long life surrounded by loved ones. Only a true psychopath never regrets. Everybody else knows, keeps track, and mourns their entire life. They know the major life events their victim missed. They mourn them. It is a sad spot in their heart and soul that stays with them forever, but also helps to motivate them to do better, to take advantage of the life they have so the life they took wasn't completely in vain.

It takes a lifetime to wrap your mind around a lifetime that was never lived, and the ripple effects of the sorrow it's caused.

In my mind, the boy who stayed with me for a year while his mom got her shit together is still just that boy with an easy smile and a huge sense of responsibility. He's the kid that sat at my breakfast table and talked with me late into the night about his father's suicide, his sister's death, and his mom's break up. In my mind, he's also the young man who made a horrible mistake, and more than 10 years down the line, he's learning how to live a life behind bars.

In my mind, I still haven't completely let go of the expectation and fantasy that he would live a typical life - that right now, his kids would be at those wonderful ages of Little League and pond skating, where he'd be teaching them how to fish and working with his wife to raise a couple of good children. But, that is my fantasy. He murdered a man before he had the chance to create his own life, and define himself as a man.

As a result, that murder has helped to define himself as a man. I try to make sure that he's aware of his other good qualities that are also part of him as a man, especially since his mother subsequently died. It was a very difficult transition, but even behind bars with no expectation of getting out alive, he still has choices as to what kind of a man he wants to be, to grow into. He still has choices as to how he spends that time, and whether he will use that time to honor the life he took, or to end his own life through all the crap that people get up to in prison.

It still kills me that he's doing LWOP +10. He's still a little boy in my heart; a hurting little boy, and not a 30 + year old man who killed another man more than 10 years ago when he was barely legally an adult.

I really need to get down to Tennessee one of these days to visit him. They are hard visits, but he's still very much a part of my life, and I still think of him as a damned good kid.
Such a well worded look at such a tragic situation..I have great difficulty wrapping my mind around LWOP for a person who is not yet even legally able to drink alcohol..I understand the need for punishment but isn't 20 years a long enough time..most of us know how different we are from the person we were at 18..19 or 20 ..it seems tragic that we write off these people for an admittedly horrible choice that they make as a very young person..I recognize that another's life is lost but does throwing away the key on another life bring them back ..I would argue that having the offender eventually live a productive life would better serve the memory of a life lost due to a bad choice ..I would also admit there are situations in which is wouldn't be appropriate ie serial murderers ..sociopathic personalities but that is not the case with most murders ..its more likely drugs and or bad choices in a moment of time resulting in tragedy for both victim and offender ..So sad..
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  #69  
Old 01-18-2014, 09:53 PM
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3rd degree murder, 9 years in on 16/32 and he caught a charge inside so the first try doesn't look likely.
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  #70  
Old 01-19-2014, 05:21 AM
mr&mrssmith84 mr&mrssmith84 is offline
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Murder - life with possible parole after 20. So in 2024 we can try
It was a robbery gone wrong, in a bad time of his life. He's had 10yrs with no write ups and has done everything he can to ensure he has a shot
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  #71  
Old 01-19-2014, 05:22 AM
mr&mrssmith84 mr&mrssmith84 is offline
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Sorry double post
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  #72  
Old 02-02-2014, 10:48 AM
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12 years. He's up for parole this summer.
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  #73  
Old 02-02-2014, 05:09 PM
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25 years
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  #74  
Old 05-24-2014, 09:24 PM
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Sentenced to life with no chance for parole unless he's able to win an appeal for a retrial which he's been diligently trying to do with the help of his lawyers. His sentence definitely should have been manslaughter (10 years) rather than 1st degree murder. Further evidence of a fucked up system.
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  #75  
Old 05-25-2014, 12:30 AM
NGS_lAdY NGS_lAdY is offline
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My LO received 15 to life, eligible for parole in 2022
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