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  #26  
Old 01-09-2019, 01:26 PM
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lizlizzie2 lizlizzie2 is offline
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When I was 21, I lived with a guy and we were going to get married. His big 3 older brother and parents loved me. It wasn't until 1 year later that his boyfriend, an airline pilot, called me and said they were in a relationship and he would pay me $5,000 to leave Texas (1982). I was in shock. My boyfriend didn't want to end us, because he hated himself for being gay - it was against his family values, against his religion, and something he despised himself for. He became so depressed and started using drugs. He didn't want to be gay. But that was something he couldn't change. I declined the money, because my own principles wasn't going to allow me to be bought off. Despite everything, it was my boyfriend's pain in hating himself that hurt the most. If your son is unable to accept it for himself, he is most likely unable to admit it to you. And the cellie, like my b/f's pilot friend, was out to manipulate the situation and removed me as a road block. Your son's cellie may be doing the same thing - trying to exert control by putting it out there to you without your son's agreement.

As everyone has stated, stay calm and wait until you and your son can talk face to face.
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  #27  
Old 01-09-2019, 03:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HMR2 View Post
He's been in 8 years and we have never had any contact from anyone other than him.


As far as approval, no. My point was, he has never showed any regard to what we thought about anything he does, so I have a hard time believing it would be hard for him to come out to us. I do notit believe he worries about what we think. I haven't heard from him and probably wont until he writes for money. So we are waiting.
I’m surprised you can’t see a difference between tattoos (which are completely socially acceptable and applauded in prison where’s he’s grown up), joining a gang (which is also socially acceptable with everyone he knows) and having a sexual relationship with another man (which can cause brutal and abusive Treatment by fellow inmates if he were to come out.) My husband has been on rougher units and being homosexual is something you DO NOT TALK ABOUT. It’s a secret you hold onto until you’re outside of those walls unless you want to get stolen from, refused seats in the dayroom, or worse. Heck,’once my husband took a drink after an openly gay man and all hell broke loose.

Have you considered that, if it’s true, he hasn’t told anyone?? Should he sit in the day room or on the rec yard and announce his relations with another man to his mom on the phone? How about in visitation when he’s literally surrounded by peers? .

You’re expecting an “our world” response to a “his world” situation.
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