Welcome to the Prison Talk Online Community! Take a Minute and Sign Up Today!






Go Back   Prison Talk > RESOURCE CENTER > Domestic Violence
Register Entertainment FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

Domestic Violence News and information relating to domestic violence in general. Please post here if you don't see a sub-forums that fits better.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 07-31-2015, 04:44 PM
aries2015 aries2015 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: MICHIGAN, USA
Posts: 1
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default Can We Get Married If My Boyfriend Goes to jail on a DV Charge?

my boyfriend got a domestic violence and he is on parole. if he returns to prison could we get married and I could go visit him in prison? Please I need help to find this out!
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #2  
Old 07-31-2015, 05:05 PM
nimuay's Avatar
nimuay nimuay is offline
Super Moderator

PTO Super Moderator Pumpkin Hunt Participant 2014 Easter Egg Hunt 2013 - Participant 

Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: new york
Posts: 24,637
Thanks: 7,121
Thanked 30,563 Times in 11,010 Posts
Default

Generally speaking, NO. There should be a no-contact order in place, so visiting him would violate that order, and the prison won't allow the victim of a crime to visit without jumping through an extraordinary number of hoops. And obviously, if you can't visit, you can't marry.

The first hoop would be for you to go through domestic violence counseling, and for him to go through whatever batterers course his prison has. Then you have to do whatever else they want.
__________________
You'll know you've created God in your own image when He hates all the people you do.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 07-31-2015, 08:40 PM
yourself yourself is offline
attorney
 

Join Date: May 2010
Location: around
Posts: 11,854
Thanks: 4,245
Thanked 21,446 Times in 7,506 Posts
Default

And, the prison has to approve any marriage. You won't be able to get married to him because they will not approve.

Further, marriage is not a free pass to visitation. Once a no contact is in place, it's no contact. It does not matter who you are or what your relationship is to your abuser - you can't change the nco no matter what you do with the relationship.

The only way to get that NCO to drop is to get domestic violence counseling and have your counselor sign off on contact. Of course, it also requires him to do his part and get appropriate therapy with his therapist signing off on appropriate levels of contact, usually starting with supervised contact that's not done in person. Most abusers won't bother to do anything that won't get them out quicker - so they'll do the batterers class and nothing more. A certificate from a batterers class is only a start, and most judges won't sign off on that, and any decent therapist won't consider it to be a healthy contact until he's done more than a batterers class and you've done a significant amount of work on your own issues. (your own issues isn't a slam on you - a person cannot get abused without acquiring some pretty significant issues)
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to yourself For This Useful Post:
delilah19 (08-04-2015)
  #4  
Old 08-03-2015, 06:56 PM
yourself yourself is offline
attorney
 

Join Date: May 2010
Location: around
Posts: 11,854
Thanks: 4,245
Thanked 21,446 Times in 7,506 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by aries2015 View Post
Please someone help! I need to know if my boyfriend goes back to prison and he got a domestic violence can we get married and see each other no matter what? Please someone in box me I need help finding something out.
NO!

Absolutely not. You cannot circumvent a protective order by getting married. there are plenty of married couples kept apart by a protective order. Further, as the victim of his crime, you will not be permitted to visit him no matter how you're related to him - you could be his mother and they still will not permit it.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to yourself For This Useful Post:
sidewalker (08-04-2015)
  #5  
Old 08-03-2015, 09:41 PM
ChaseLove's Avatar
ChaseLove ChaseLove is offline
Patiently waiting
 

Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 669
Thanks: 148
Thanked 213 Times in 161 Posts
Default

Is there a protective order in place? If not, Its possible. Anything in life is possible...lol...But on a serious tip, If no protective order is in place it is possible.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 08-04-2015, 08:32 AM
yourself yourself is offline
attorney
 

Join Date: May 2010
Location: around
Posts: 11,854
Thanks: 4,245
Thanked 21,446 Times in 7,506 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChaseLove View Post
Is there a protective order in place? If not, Its possible. Anything in life is possible...lol...But on a serious tip, If no protective order is in place it is possible.
um, no. If the OP is the victim, then there will be no visitation.

As for those who are saying, "can we get married to get past a protective order? or to gain visitation in a domestic violence case that landed my LO in prison?" - if there's already a protective order in place, what better way to demonstrate unequivocally that you're in contact than a marriage certificate? Before, during, and after marriage - you're having contact, and he's not cutting it off, avoiding it, and not engaging you - you're in communication, and his participation is a violation of a protective order, and since he's incarcerated, he's also violating the whole, "we don't allow offenders to contact victims" policy. Policy violations are handled internally, and can result in tighter custody arrangements, loss of privileges including phone and visitation with people he's actually able to visit.

Violation of an OP means contempt of court. It also means that you're going to have a very difficult time lifting that OP, even if you do the work - courts do not like people who don't think their orders apply to them and actively work to subvert them.
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to yourself For This Useful Post:
LifeTraveler (08-04-2015), patchouli (08-04-2015)
  #7  
Old 11-11-2015, 11:59 PM
Aphra's Avatar
Aphra Aphra is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Land of the free, home of the brave
Posts: 617
Thanks: 798
Thanked 488 Times in 252 Posts
Default

Was he arrested for committing DV against you? If that is the case, I am left questioning if it would be very wise for you to consider marrying him or visiting him inside at all?


Quote:
Originally Posted by aries2015 View Post
my boyfriend got a domestic violence and he is on parole. if he returns to prison could we get married and I could go visit him in prison? Please I need help to find this out!
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 09-25-2018, 07:02 PM
ambermarshall11 ambermarshall11 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: Nys United States
Posts: 72
Thanks: 2
Thanked 40 Times in 21 Posts
Default

I was the victim of my child's father crime in nys I was able to see him their was no order I'm not with him anymore though so not sure but it was definitely nys
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to ambermarshall11 For This Useful Post:
xolady (09-26-2018)
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Boyfriend caught with drugs in county jail; Will they charge him for it? NATE0611 Prison & Criminal Legal Help! 2 04-10-2012 06:41 PM
Am I Two Faced? Ex husband and boyfriend have the same charge hubbardsgirl606 Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison 25 03-06-2010 09:58 PM
How do i get married to my boyfriend thats in jail in IL? demi89 Prison & Jail Wedding Information Central 2 09-01-2009 05:06 PM
boyfriend got new charge parole violation what will happen? melodydtategrey Straight Talk 1 12-06-2007 04:14 PM


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 05:38 PM.
Copyright © 2001- 2017 Prison Talk Online
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Website Design & Custom vBulletin Skins by: Relivo Media
Message Board Statistics