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It's Not All Bad Behind the Walls Let's talk about the good things that happen in prison. The correctional officers that have helped us, etc.

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  #1  
Old 05-24-2006, 01:58 PM
Ex-lifer Ex-lifer is offline
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Default A Lot Of Fun

Most people would probably not believe me when I say this, but prison was a lot of fun in many ways. There is constantly the oppressive side of things, which we all feel all the time. However, some of the best memories of my life are from prison. I lived with the same roommate for 9 years! We are as close as brothers, and have had many laughs. I played on some sports teams with some friends and we had as much fun as any beer league out here on the streets. Probably more fun because we weren't drunk!
I made friends inside who will be my friends, no, my brothers, for as long as God gives us breath. Some of us who are out here in the real world are still in touch with each other, going to weddings, enjoying triumphs together.
Perhaps one of the reasons the recidivism rate is so high in California is because it is too fun???
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Old 05-24-2006, 03:18 PM
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You know, Ex-Lifer......that is one of my greatest fears and my man and I have discussed this alot.......The male bonding and camraderie is very strong in there......and for guys who really appreciate the friendship and bonding with other guys, it's a strong pull. My man is in prison for the very first time ever - been in since January of this year.......he has always been one of those guys that other guys are drawn to.....so he has guys around all the time, for fun, for the bad stuff - for support.....so now that he knows this.....I don't think going back in - if he has to - will seem that bad to him - and this I worry about.....


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Originally Posted by Ex-lifer
Most people would probably not believe me when I say this, but prison was a lot of fun in many ways. There is constantly the oppressive side of things, which we all feel all the time. However, some of the best memories of my life are from prison. I lived with the same roommate for 9 years! We are as close as brothers, and have had many laughs. I played on some sports teams with some friends and we had as much fun as any beer league out here on the streets. Probably more fun because we weren't drunk!
I made friends inside who will be my friends, no, my brothers, for as long as God gives us breath. Some of us who are out here in the real world are still in touch with each other, going to weddings, enjoying triumphs together.
Perhaps one of the reasons the recidivism rate is so high in California is because it is too fun???
Ex-Lifer.
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Old 05-24-2006, 04:10 PM
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you hardly ever hear of the "other" side to prison. i guess that a person has to do what they can in order to survive. i've heard so many horrible stories about prison that it's hard to imagine that men can get along and bond without any one owing the other something. hearing your story does help me to know that a person can survive prison.
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Old 05-25-2006, 09:22 AM
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JoranRae,
I say that you have to fear only if your man's friends are dead weights around his neck. The friends that I made were men who were not your typical "criminals". I only committed this one crime. I was not a person who was engaged in constant criminal activity. Never did drugs, never was a gang member. I sought out and made friends with guys who were like minded to myself. Men who have some education and who continue to learn. Men who want to better their community, whether it is in prison or out here. I was in prison for the first time, too. I left prison without any tattoos. I resisted the urge to conform to that aspect because that wasn't who I really was. Men can be themselves in prison, and they will find other people like themselves. If he is hanging out with the homies, the gang-bangers, etc, then yes, you have something to fear. But, if he is hanging out with the guys who are not like that, then they are men just like himself--someone who made a bad decision and is paying for it.

We have to distinguish between associates and friends. I had many associates. I met many men during my 15 years inside. However, I only write to 5 of them. They are the men I consider to be good friends. Men whom I would have no problem having them live with me.

Hope this helps...
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Old 05-25-2006, 09:46 AM
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my husband has made life long friends as well as has good memories of prison. Most of his friends are lifers so he will be a link to the free world that some of them did not have before - of course, he does have to wait until he's off parole to be here for his Friends, but they know that!
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Old 05-25-2006, 11:29 AM
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Exlifer, I don't know about that being the reason for the recidivisim rate being so high. LOL You were lucky to be with the same person for so long, my brother is in the federal system and he has had many cellies moved and transferred. I think it is hard on him everytime that happens. I am glad to hear you have remained close and in touch with each other. It must be nice to celebrate lifes joys with each other.
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Old 05-25-2006, 12:16 PM
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You sound very much like my guy ex-lifer. He has been down 28 years, and has no tattoos at all, does not like nor hang with gang bangers, dope dealers. The cellie he has now he shared a cell with for a long time at a previous facility. They are both lifers and stay busy, have done many things to better themselves. They work hard to stay out of trouble and are as much help to those that want to also better themselves.
He is truly an amazing man. Its good to know there are others like him, sometimes I think I have the only one. Now, if we could only convince our governor here that he is worthy of parole.
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Old 06-04-2006, 08:22 PM
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what a cute story ex lifer, and it's great to know that you still have positive bonds with some of the other men you've met in prison!
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Old 06-06-2006, 02:20 PM
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When you are in the prison system, you have to keep your head up, and treat everyday like it is a new day. I have seen a lot of people be in there happy and smiling and then you see them the next week and they are down down down. That one day that you don't treat it like it is a new day and look at the stuff that happend the days prior is when you are going to let it bite you in the butt. My man has been in and out of jail for 10 years now, and hopefully this will be his last time for good. When we were much younger, he tried to find ways to get back in there because he had so much fun in there. Now, he is over that phase of being on the "inside". He will always know people on the inside because he know a lot of people that are lifers and all over the place. He will always remember them and the good times that they had just not be on the "inside" with them again.
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Old 06-19-2006, 10:12 AM
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that bothers me alot about my man in there, I'm home going to work, cleaning the house, grocery shopping, ect.......And when we talk he says he was playing hand ball, working out, or hanging out with this guy or that guy. ANd I know there are alot of bad things about prison but he sure seems happy there sometime.....Crazy huh jealous of prison life...LOL
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Old 06-20-2006, 12:41 PM
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Hi,
I was in prison for over 10 years and the few moments of forgetfullness of a game of cards or a baseball game are few and far between. All of your moments are spent with a deep ache in your heart from being away from your loved ones. And those moments of playing with your buddy in there are not trully happy ones, only ones that you do because you try to escape in your mind. Its a horrible experience, one that scars you for life. It takes a hell of an individual to accept the issues your loved one will come home with. I married an officer, he lost his job over me and we recently got married. He understands alot because he saw it, but I still have issues that he cannot understand and I am alot to handle due to the stress of the years I spent behind bars. I wish you all the luck.
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Old 08-22-2006, 12:41 PM
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Ex-lifer, my loved one tells me the same things that you have written here. He tells me all the time to quit watching the documentaries...his life in prison is nothing like that at all. He is always upbeat and is doing his time right. Glad that you are doing well!
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Old 08-23-2006, 10:12 AM
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that is sooooo good and relieving to hear. whenever i don't hear from him i always picture him being upset or getting beat up by a guard (j/k), stuff you see on TV, you know? but then i hear his happy voice and read his letters about what him & his friends are up to and i laugh and thank god that he's managing to make the best out of a hard situation.
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Old 08-28-2006, 08:52 PM
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Man,I just don't know what to say about this....I don't want his time in there to be hard,even though Prison is hardtimes...But I don't want him having a blast either,cause I don't want him to ever leave us like this again to return to the other side.
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