Lisa 53 from Iowa

[Lisa 53]

iam new to this prision talk. I need support ! Our daughter was sent to prision 4 years ago for having a relationship with a younger girl. Our daughter was 27 the girl was 15. Our daughter got 5 year sentence.
she has worked on her classes and we are raising her daughter.
the prisoin system wont allow her to write to her daughter till she completes her class. She can not talk, write letter, send pictures or see her.
iam so sick of the prision rules! They do what they want and they dont care about the families who have to live on the outside of the bars!
she is in mt. Pleasant womens corrections in iowa.
please share with me how you go on each day when it hurts to follow there rules .

[Terihe]

Lisa 53... Welcome! We get through this with God by our side and the all the help, support and understanding we get from each other on this forum. You will get through this too as hard as it may seem. Keep coming here and soon you will be helping others as well. Helping others will also help you in your healing. I pray for God to help you along your journey. (((hugs to you))))

[Niki]

Hello, Lisa53. Welcome to the parents forum and to PTO. I'm so sorry that you've been dealing with this on your own for so long but I'm glad you're here now. I can't really say how I would deal with a situation like yours but I will say that I can only imagine how difficult it must be for you, your daughter and your granddaughter to be in this situation. We don't have to like the conditions that the courts and the DOC impose upon our children but we do have to abide by them if we want our children to come home.
Your daughter may not be able to communicate directly with her daughter but there's nothing to stop you from conveying their thoughts and feelings to each other. It's not ideal, but that's really all you can legally do. Sometimes I wonder why the courts impose such restrictions. The one who loses the most is the most innocent one of all-your granddaughter.

I encourage you to come back here often and post whenever you like. You will find that we are very supportive of each other and totally non-judgemental. We help each other get through the rough times and have a few laughs along the way. We are united by that common bond of having a child in prison. It doesn't matter why or for how long, it hurts just the same. You might also want to check into the LASO forum where you might find others in similar situations to yours with regard to restrictions on contact with children. There is also a forum specific to Iowa .

I believe the best way we could explain how we get through this is one day, and sometimes one hour, at a time. We come here often and share our thoughts and fears. We read each others posts and realize that we are not alone. It always hurts when we have to follow their rules but we do it because we love our children unconditionally and want them home to us and their families as soon as possible.

My son has a 17 month old son and he'd love to be able to kiss him goodnight and greet him when he awakens each day. He lost his firstborn son 6 years ago to SIDS and it has been so difficult for him to not be a constant fixture in his new son's life. But for now he has to experience the torture of saying goodbye to him every Sunday knowing that by the time he sees him again his son will have learned new words and new actions without his Daddy's help. The tears welling up in his eyes every Sunday at 3PM make me want so much to grab him and run as fast as I can but I know that I can never do that if I want him to ever be home with his family. And so I wait and I go along with it. It's not easy what we have to do but it's the only thing we can do in the situation. Welcome to our family Lisa- that's really what we are here in the parents forum. We are one big, not so happy, family with lots of troubled kids. Together we will get through this one day at a time. Hugs....Niki

[jancy]

lisa
I am sorry your daughters actions have brought both you and her sadness. I know this will pass and it will not always be this way. For now you and she have one another to get thru. could her daughter trace her hand on a piece of paper that you write a letter on?
hugs.

[heavy]

First welcome to PWCIP.You have came to the right place for support.The parents are so helpful and understanding.I don't know what Iwould have done with out the Lord and the parents here. The 3years my son was in prison.The road is long and hard but you and your daughter will make it.You and your daughter are in my Prayers.

Heavy

[a worried mom]

HI there, you have come to the right place. Sorry to hear such a sad situation. If I am right your daughter is in her last year of incarceration. How difficult it must be for her to not see her child and how hard it muct be for you to see your daughter hurt. Your grand daughter has lots of "grandmas" here who would love to here about her too. I am glad she has you. We all hate the rules that seperate us from our children but know some things are necessary. On the good days share the strength that has gotten you this far. On the hard days when tears or rage surface, let us know that too. There is more compassion and wisdom in this group of people I have meet here, than anything I have ever experienced anywhere. Is your daughter in the same state as you? Can you visit and can she have letters or cards from outside? Make sure you list your daughter's birthday on the card list. Welcome.

[Lisa 53]

thanks to every one. Iam so glad that i have found all of u. Its been hard the last 2 days. Our daughter is an hour away in the prision. Our grandaughter lives with us . We live in iowa. I will try the hand and then to write a letter in it. Never thought about that. I do have the lord on my side . Its just hard when those bad days hit. Thanks again for all the support you have given me. Hugs.
i can do all things through christ who strengthens me. Philps 4:13