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Old 04-18-2019, 09:15 AM
Kilika23 Kilika23 is offline
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Default Son is told that a gang member wants to kill him

My son is in for 5-6 years. He recently was put in the "box" and while being interrogated by OSI was threatened that when he got out of the "box" that this other inmate who is in a gang was going to kill him. When I talked to his counselor he assured me that it wasn't "that type of a prison." What am I supposed to believe? This is a medium level facility. Has anyone else gone through this?
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Old 04-18-2019, 11:35 AM
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There is no such thing as "not that type of prison" and the counselor knows it. The judgment/decision is up to your Son to make, and act on. If he believes whoever told him that he is in danger, he can file a formal request for a transfer, or protective custody, and also keep a record of all of the contacts he makes about the request.
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Old 04-18-2019, 11:43 AM
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Too many missing pieces to give you solid advice, but if your son is in the box, he knows why. If he's done something (owes money, stolen or acted out) he knows it. The officer's warning may be exaggerated in order to get your son to turn info over. It may not be and they may be trying to keep him safe. Either way, this is something he has to handle and your best bet is to remind him that you love him and you want him to to do the right and most logical thing.

You know your son.
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Old 04-18-2019, 08:24 PM
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Has you son been in prison for awhile or is he a newbie? If he has been in for even only a few months, he knows what is going on. If another inmate filed a complaint against him, then they are investigating to see who is telling the truth. if your son did do something against the rules (yes, some of those are unfair such as here if an inmate starts a fight and you are the victim, you get the ticket/hole too). Letting him back out on the yard may not be safe for him. Sometimes that results in the prison transferring him so as to avoid more problems; other times the inmate will have to ask and make the claim that he is in danger.

Generally, there is really nothing you can or should do. We want to be able to do something as parents but doing so can make things worse. Unless he asks for your help, you should let him handle it.
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Old 04-28-2019, 05:35 AM
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He's only been in for 4 months now- 30 days in the box so far with 30 more to go! He did get 2 tickets but I don't think he will go into protective custody when he gets out. It's too much like being in the box for the next 5 years! I don't know if it is true what they told him or not about a gang having a hit out on him and that is the frustrating part of the whole thing. There is no one to call at the prison and talk to and find out what is really happening. It causes so much agony for a parent when you can't trust anyone there.
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Old 04-28-2019, 06:17 AM
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Hi there, I am sorry you are going through this. Sadly no one from the prison is going to tell you what is going on.Your son will need to deal with this issue himself. There is very little to go on here, but if your son thinks he is in danger then he will need to request protective custody.
There would normally be a reason for such a threat, your son will know if that is the case.
All you can do is look after yourself and support your son in his decison.
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Old 04-28-2019, 08:05 AM
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Agree with above posters - not much you can do. I'm very sorry for your worry. It is tough. However, I know my son doesn't tell me everything that goes on.

Hes been in 5.5 years now and this was his first ever prison stint. We've never known or visited a prison before....sadly now its routine.

When you get tickets, they have to be "heard" by enforcement within so many days. The ticket is pretty self-explanatory. My son got a ticket recently for "breaking wind in the common area." Yep, you read right....it was thrown out and he was given a warning.

My son doesn't tell me everything because he doesn't want me to worry more than I already do...perhaps this is the case for your son too?

I don't believe I read how long your son's sentence is but if he has several years, he will learn the ropes very quickly: don't trust anyone, no one is your friend, don't gamble, loan, do drugs, make weapons, deal in contraband. Keep to yourself, be very selective who you talk to (including COs) and stay out of other people's business.
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Old 04-28-2019, 11:45 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maytayah View Post
Hi there, I am sorry you are going through this. Sadly no one from the prison is going to tell you what is going on.Your son will need to deal with this issue himself. There is very little to go on here, but if your son thinks he is in danger then he will need to request protective custody.
There would normally be a reason for such a threat, your son will know if that is the case.
All you can do is look after yourself and support your son in his decison.

Thanks for the info. I am new at this and really don't know what's going on. Not sure if the threat is real or if the CO's are just telling him to scare him into admitting to something.
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Old 04-28-2019, 12:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by miamac View Post
Too many missing pieces to give you solid advice, but if your son is in the box, he knows why. If he's done something (owes money, stolen or acted out) he knows it. The officer's warning may be exaggerated in order to get your son to turn info over. It may not be and they may be trying to keep him safe. Either way, this is something he has to handle and your best bet is to remind him that you love him and you want him to to do the right and most logical thing.

You know your son.
Yes to what Mia said. He will also probably transferred to a different facility once this stint in the box is done. Depending on why he is there his security level may increase as well, so dont be surprised if he is moved to a max facility. He could also be moved to another medium.

I'm assuming this is NYS. If you can visit, he will prob tell you more in person.
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Old 04-28-2019, 06:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kilika23 View Post
Thanks for the info. I am new at this and really don't know what's going on. Not sure if the threat is real or if the CO's are just telling him to scare him into admitting to something.
CO's saying what they said sounds out of line. If CO is just trying to scare him that's kinda sick. If what CO is saying is true, CO is responsible to do something about it. This doesn't sound right.

Regardless, something put your son where he is.Your son is new; 4 months in. Unfortunately some longer term problem inmates will take advantage of new guys and con them into doing stupid things. That may be what has happened. Suggestions about him not trusting, no friends (at least until he better learns how things work), no debt / drugs / gambling etc. are exactly what he needs to do.

There are things you can do to help him in prison, I don't think this is one of them. You can tell him and you should, but it's on him to fix. Sorry for his rough start. Hang in there, try to get him to listen and learn. I hope you see there is good experienced advise here that will help you both get through his "rookie season".
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Old 04-29-2019, 05:56 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gvalliant View Post
CO's saying what they said sounds out of line. If CO is just trying to scare him that's kinda sick. If what CO is saying is true, CO is responsible to do something about it. This doesn't sound right.

Regardless, something put your son where he is.Your son is new; 4 months in. Unfortunately some longer term problem inmates will take advantage of new guys and con them into doing stupid things. That may be what has happened. Suggestions about him not trusting, no friends (at least until he better learns how things work), no debt / drugs / gambling etc. are exactly what he needs to do.

There are things you can do to help him in prison, I don't think this is one of them. You can tell him and you should, but it's on him to fix. Sorry for his rough start. Hang in there, try to get him to listen and learn. I hope you see there is good experienced advise here that will help you both get through his "rookie season".

Thank you for all the great advice. You are right that he did a couple of stupid things to get him in the box- he does get influenced by others too. He said when he gets out of the box that he will keep doing what he was doing and keeping his head down and to himself. Thanks again.
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Old 04-29-2019, 06:05 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maytayah View Post
Hi there, I am sorry you are going through this. Sadly no one from the prison is going to tell you what is going on.Your son will need to deal with this issue himself. There is very little to go on here, but if your son thinks he is in danger then he will need to request protective custody.
There would normally be a reason for such a threat, your son will know if that is the case.
All you can do is look after yourself and support your son in his decison.

The person in the gang has the last name as the woman my son assaulted and that is the only thing we know. We don't even know if they are related and he has been in prison for 4 years and gets out in Aug. 2019 so why would he risk hurting my son at this stage of the game. Thank you for your advice as it is very helpful to me to be in touch with others in the same situation having a child in prison.
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Old 04-29-2019, 06:15 AM
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you might make sure he mentions this fact (same name as son's victim)
This is a huge red flag. He needs to say something about it. He needs to just say this inmate shares the same last name as my victim.



They will move him to another facility. They must.
Too much of a coincidence. (I mean it could be but.......i dunno)
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Old 04-29-2019, 06:42 AM
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I'm coming a bit late to the party but my boyfriend had something similar happening to him... last September a hit was put on him and he asked to be put in PC and after about 3 weeks he was moved to a different facility. There he was not safe either because after about 15 min. after he got to the new facility everyone there knew who he was and why he was there and he has not been really safe ever since. It's been extremely painful and stressful for the past 6+ months but he's staying put and hopefully safe.
I don't know more details, he does not tell me much on the phone and I have not been to visit (he does not want me to come to see him at this facility) so I'm wild-guessing all over the place but when he has a chance to call (some of those asses in there "told" him to not enter the day-room) I'm happy he's still alive.
I'm praying that he'll get his approval for minimum sooner rather than later, he needs this to not to loose his mind completely.
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Old 04-29-2019, 10:05 AM
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If the gang member is close to being released, he might decide to assign the job to someone else. I agree, if he is related to the victim, your Son should consider asking for a transfer.
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Old 05-01-2019, 05:21 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MizzyMuffling View Post
I'm coming a bit late to the party but my boyfriend had something similar happening to him... last September a hit was put on him and he asked to be put in PC and after about 3 weeks he was moved to a different facility. There he was not safe either because after about 15 min. after he got to the new facility everyone there knew who he was and why he was there and he has not been really safe ever since. It's been extremely painful and stressful for the past 6+ months but he's staying put and hopefully safe.
I don't know more details, he does not tell me much on the phone and I have not been to visit (he does not want me to come to see him at this facility) so I'm wild-guessing all over the place but when he has a chance to call (some of those asses in there "told" him to not enter the day-room) I'm happy he's still alive.
I'm praying that he'll get his approval for minimum sooner rather than later, he needs this to not to loose his mind completely.

My heart goes out to you as you go through this with your son. So even getting moved to a different facility doesn't guarantee that they will be safe. The CO's know about this other person because they asked my son if he knew him and he does not. I can't talk to him on the phone until he is out of the box and that is for another 28 days. I am praying for him everyday that he doesn't lose his mind being in the box for 60 days. Thanks for sharing what you are going through with me.
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Old 05-10-2019, 11:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kilika23 View Post
My heart goes out to you as you go through this with your son. So even getting moved to a different facility doesn't guarantee that they will be safe. The CO's know about this other person because they asked my son if he knew him and he does not. I can't talk to him on the phone until he is out of the box and that is for another 28 days. I am praying for him everyday that he doesn't lose his mind being in the box for 60 days. Thanks for sharing what you are going through with me.
I know the circumstances vary from state to state and even prison to prison within the state. In the hole, at least he is safe for now. When my son was in there for 30 days, his comment to me was it was the first time he had his own room in 6 years. He had books to read so he was fine with some alone time. So hoping your son finds a positive in his situation and that they can move him somewhere away from this situation.
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