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Remembering Those That Passed While In Prison This forum is for all those - family, friends, spouses, wives, husbands, significant others, brothers, sisters, parents, and children - who lost a loved one or friend while incarcerated.

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Old 11-30-2016, 09:48 PM
beautyinthemess beautyinthemess is offline
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Default I will always grieve

It's been 6 months, and i still hurt in ways you probably couldnt fathom.

He died post incarceration, but felt the need to post here.

We broke up May of 2015 because of unhealthy decisions he was making. He died of a drug overdose March of 2016.

My world absolutely shattered. I maintain a good front. I get complimented about how "strong" I am. When little do they know a part of me died with him, and I will never be the same.

The devil gets in my mind sometimes. Whispers lies to overwhelm me with guilt, and deter my focus off God.

My faith is the only thing that has gotten me through this, and knowing we will be reunited one day.

But some days...most days. It hurts. Physically. Emotionally. It hurts. His death blind sided me. It brutally assaulted my heart, and has left me wounded.

Some days I carry it so well. But when I open this floodgate of emotion. It spills out of me, and I can't contain how it comes out.

Im not even going to re read this and try to make sense of it.
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Old 11-30-2016, 11:28 PM
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sprits sprits is offline
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Definitely post your feeling and thoughts, get it out of your system, and know good people are listening.
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Old 12-01-2016, 06:30 AM
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Welcome to Prison Talk. I'm sorry for your loss, but be sure to take care of yourself first. You will find much support here.
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Old 12-01-2016, 06:43 AM
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Yes, those waves of grief are immune from any sort of logic or reason. The emotions are often experienced in a muddled up mess of contradictory feelings. Even when you know it's coming, and aren't caught flat-footed, it blows your insides out and leaves you reeling for a very long time after.

You are also rapidly approaching the anniversary. This will make it worse for a short(er) time.

Come here, let it out. Post things that make no sense, because grieving makes no sense. Your world was torn apart like confetti, then dumped back inside you all mixed up, then the world asked you to just get on with your life. No easy thing.

My sympathy to you.

Gin
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Old 12-01-2016, 07:10 AM
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oooooo...The blind sideness of it all....Just remember to get up every day, but please know the importance of "letting it all out" too.
Grief will find its way out whether you want it too or not.
You are seen as "strong" to others because you've faced a frightening thing. NO ONE is immune. Others just don't want to recognize how tightly you are hanging on to things that make sense to you.
May I give you peace, and hugs and acceptance? Would you allow yourself to accept them?
Grace to you my friend. May this devastation help you rebuild into a better version of who you were with him.
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There is no question that in virtually all circumstances in which people are doing things in order to get rewards, extrinsic tangible rewards undermine intrinsic motivation." the New Scientist (12th April 2011, pp 40-43)

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