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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

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  #1  
Old 06-26-2011, 07:44 PM
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UcanBETthat UcanBETthat is offline
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Exclamation Missing Him... Advice needed!

My name is Nicole and I am 26 years old and living in Michigan. My fiance Rob is in jail and we are looking at a 4 year max sentence as of right now. He goes for his preliminary hearing next week and then will be sentenced shortly after that. He was at work and got pulled over for obstuction of view. Long story short his passanger had drugs and because Rob was on parole/probation for something he did when we were 17 and did time for, he as taken to jail for violation. They are now trying to charge him with everything, even habitual offender. We have 2 children together Kaili who is 7 and Kyle who is 2. We were suppose to be getting married in September. THis is all just to much. I am here to get advice. On how to get through this, what to tell our kids and to be there and get everything thoughts on my situation as well as share my thoughts to others. My whole family wants me to leave him and move on, but I love him. He is a great father, lover, and best friend. I can not imagine my life without him. So I guess this forum is all I have for support. Any thoughts and advice would be greaty appreciated.

Oh and he was shipped 6 hours away. I am praying he gets transfered to the prison down here since he is just in "jail" right now after he is sentenced. crossing fingers!...
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Old 06-26-2011, 08:08 PM
Paysosgirl Paysosgirl is offline
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I'm sorry you are having to go through this. I hope things work out with a short sentence so he can come home to his family soon. My first suggestion is to be strong for him and for your kids. You are their rock and they need you to hold everything together. I know it's hard and it's not fair, but it's the life we all live while we hold our men down. You take it one day at a time. I'm not sure what to tell your children. Mine are too young to require an explanation, but if he does get 4 years I would think you would take them to visit and so they will need to know the truth. My baby spent 9 months in county before he was moved to prison, but he's going through diagnostics, so may get moved again. Jail visitation sucks. I can't wait to visit in prison since we can hug and spend 4 hours together holding hands and being face to face.
Good luck. Feel free to message me if you ever want to talk or anything.
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Old 06-27-2011, 06:09 AM
Fancy Fancy is offline
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Welcome to PTO....I hope you will find much needed support here.

If you believe in him and love him....you can do this.

You will have to grow a very thick skin to those that object, and to the "system".

Stay focused on why you stay.

Your kids are old enuff to have somewhat the truth. Be sure to check out the Raising Children with Parent in Prison...click HERE

You will find support there also.

Again, welcome!
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Old 06-27-2011, 09:30 PM
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Welcome. This site will become yr best friend. Keep yr head up and follow yr heart!
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Old 06-27-2011, 10:45 PM
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Im sorry dear, we all understand first hand how hard it is to have your other half taken away from you. Its honestly the hardest thing I have had to face so far in life. Im sorry that your family is not very supportive, mine is split. I have my immediate famliy that knew my man and they all all so very supportive however my aunts, uncles, ect. are not so much and sometimes try to convince my immediate family. However i take what other people say with a grain of salt because i know my mans heart and i know my heart and what I want. i hold firm to my descision to stick with it. if ya'll planned on getting married maybe u should do it while he is in BEFORE he gets sentanced. that is if your state allows family visits. my state makes you wait 6mo-1year but at least it would give u a closer date to look forward to. As far as your kids, its a hard concept to explain but given the age of yours it should be easier for them to understand. Make sure ur family knows not to speak ill of their daddy in front of them and make sure they are as involved in letters, visits ect as they can be. good luck and know that this too shall pass. this is the best place to get support. good luck dear.
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