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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

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  #1  
Old 06-26-2011, 08:20 PM
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HisGirlAlways HisGirlAlways is offline
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Default Im so worried!

Got a letter from my fiance yesterday saying that things are crazy in there and he is worried but he cant really tell me what is going on because he is afraid that his letters will get read. He says pray for him. OMG I dont know what to think! Something tells me its gonna be a fight or something like that and I know he can handle himself but Im scared. I dont know what to do or say to him to ease his fears. I think he is more worried about getting in trouble for whatever happens then the actual situation. He is strong but Im still freaking out! Anybody gone through this? What did you do? Im sorry but there is no one else to talk to about this. My family and friends dont understand why I am with him.
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Old 06-26-2011, 09:42 PM
PinkkRose PinkkRose is offline
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I wish I had magic words to ease your fears. I don't know exactly what you are going through because my man had been to prison a couple times before we met, so he knew what to expect when he got there this time. Even so, he seemed a little shaken when he was in reception, and that tells me how awful it was there. Within a few weeks he was moved from reception to his regular facility, and he seemed to settle in. What I am trying to say is it will probably improve for him, and for you. If nothing else, it gets better simply because it gets more familiar.

There are a lot of things you and I can't control about our guys being locked up. Focus on what you can control. Stay busy with school, a job, your kids, your family, a hobby, church or volunteer somewhere. It really does help the time go faster.

Yes, they probably read all the incoming and outgoing mail. Expect them to monitor your phone conversations and visits, too. Use some judgement ab out what you should and shouldn't write or speak about, and know that he is doing the same. Send him some mail - as often as you can. It reminds him that you care, even if you are just talking about the weather and the neighbor's new dog.

I hope things get better for you and for him. This forum has helped me a lot, just knowing that I'm not in this alone gives me stregnth. Best wishes.
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Old 06-26-2011, 10:14 PM
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HisGirlAlways HisGirlAlways is offline
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Thank you.

This isnt his first time around the block either but I have never heard him talk like that so that is why Im worried. I guess I just also needed to express myself a lil and get it out. Its hard when you dont have anyone but him to talk to and he is showing his fears. I dont want to say anything that would concern him more. I just told him that no matter what I love him and to try and be careful. I dont know all the ins and outs of prison and the strange politics in there but he says things can be brutal. Im just happy that his time isnt for long.
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Forever is a long time
But I wouldn't mind spending it by your side
Tell me everyday I get to wake up to that smile
I wouldn't mind it at all
I wouldn't mind it at all
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Old 06-27-2011, 11:00 PM
PinkkRose PinkkRose is offline
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I understand completely. My guy has less than a year left, and I am so thankful it is a relatively short time. It scared me a lot when my guy got sent to prison. He and I couldn't talk on the phone for 5 or 6 weeks, and I could tell from the few comments in his letters that he was stressed. He doesn't tell me what its like there, but I knew in my heart it had to be pretty bad for it to have stressed him like that. I prayed a lot, wrote a lot, and prayed some more. I didn't have anyone I could really talk to about all of it. Even those angels in my life who don't judge him ...can't really understand. Thats what is so great about PTO, we understand because we live it, too. Just get through today. You can handle it one day at the time. Before you know it you'll be x-ing off the days and weeks on the calendar.
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