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Wives & Girlfriends in Prison For everyone who has a wife, girlfriend, or female partner incarcerated.

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  #26  
Old 11-24-2014, 07:40 PM
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maybe you could try to figure out *new* traditions for the holidays.
all of you write on a large sheet of blank paper with colored drawings (not crayon!)
little poems or memories of past holidays. (you know the stuff, like when someone dropped the gravy boat or the dog got the turkey, or some other thing like that...personal stuff.)
I know your kids are older but hey, coloring is still cool. lol.
If you have family who you will be spending time with instead of being at home........
maybe they will chime in with it. (a drawing or story)

Or go to the movies, or the beach (if close enough) or build a snowman (if it works in your area)
Just do STUFF together and then tell her about it. Dont have to cost anything......a walk or bike ride....Just be together. And HAVE FUN. Its ok to do that while she is gone.
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  #27  
Old 11-26-2014, 04:18 PM
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And just like that, we're crushed. Went to schedule online our Family visit with my Wife for Thanksgiving and all of sudden they don't allow it. I called and got a very rude woman at Las Colinas. She was puzzled and had me hold. When she came back on she said they weren't allowing visits at that time. I asked why and she said they were working on the visitation area ?? On Thanksgiving ?? But, they were allowing visits before her time. Wouldn't tell me anything else. Kids are really bummed. I just hope she's still there and didn't get sent to receiving last night. I just learned a tough lesson. Don't get too comfortable .
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  #28  
Old 11-26-2014, 08:38 PM
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Aint that the truth
**Don't get too comfortable .**

could change in an instant.
I think that is one of the more messed up things. You get used to one way, and poof. Its all different and usually NOT in your favor.
Im sorry.
Please try to have a happy thanksgiving in spite of the crappy news.
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  #29  
Old 12-18-2014, 08:30 PM
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Still in a waiting game for my Wife to be sent to receiving. Christmas is a week away and I am trying so hard to stay "up" for my kids. Damn, it's so hard. I have been doing a lot of blogging. The writing really helps. I am making obtainable goals for myself for 2015. Have to have things to look forward to. Going to be a tough 2015. I figure she'll be home by next Christmas. 18 months, went in end of September. She really wants the fire camp. I hope she gets it.
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  #30  
Old 12-23-2014, 06:55 PM
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Will tonight be the night she leaves for receiving ? We'll see. My son and I got to see my wife yesterday. She struggled . It's the second time she had to tell our son goodbye and have a good Christmas. Like she said to me later "I'm ready to go. I'm tired of saying goodbye". Damn, that was tough.
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  #31  
Old 12-24-2014, 11:32 AM
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This time of yr is especially hard for everyone.
Things really WILL get better once she hits prison.(not counting reception)

One of the things (I think I read about it in the parents with children in prison forum)
that they do around Christmas is put up blue lights in the window. Blue Christmas.
Somehow its comforting to them.
For a long long time, I had blue lights in my nightlite in my bedroom.
My hubby being in prison and not with me was why.

be gentle with yourself and your family. This is so incredibly hard to do.
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  #32  
Old 12-28-2014, 05:35 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rise21 View Post
Hello Everyone,

New to the site. Found it a couple of months ago while I was waiting for my wife to be sentenced.
My wife was sentenced to 3 years (18 mos) for embezzlement 4 days ago. We have 2 kids and have been married for 16 years. She is currently at Las Colinas. Been pretty tough. So hard to not see her everyday. She is able to make phone calls, but we never know when she'll be able to. We are having a very difficult time trying to make reservations for visitation. She is only allowed video visitation. Anybody go through issues with trying to schedule the visitation ?
Anyway, we try to stay positive. We have a lot of family support and are thankful. But, it sure hurts like hell.
thank you for listening,

Rise21
My wife was sentenced to a year in Tent City, AZ. It is very rough at times as the constantly put them on "restriction" on the womens side and they are not allowed to enter the dayroom (the only area with phones) at all for up to a full week at times. So occasionally I will talk to her for a few days in a row then unexpectedly not hear from her for 4 or 5 days because someone else f-ed up and got them put back on restriction. Usually she will write me a letter if this happens so I will know whats going on by the 2nd or 3rd day. It is very frustrating but we are managing. I know it hurts not having the one you love close to you but just keep faith and don't give up on her. My wife was originally supposed to do a flat year so we had both thought she would not be out until September, but she recently got approved for two for ones and the judge made it retro active from her original incarceration date so she gets out on April 6th now. Three months still seems so far away but the end is in sight. Just keep your head up and keep loving her and you both will get through it.
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  #33  
Old 01-02-2015, 02:16 PM
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With the holidays over, we are hoping for my Wife to finally be sent to receiving. What's great before she goes is, my daughter will and I will get separate one on one visits and my Son will get a full hour one on one with her before she leaves.if she stays another week, we'll repeat the visits. The main deputy approved the visit for my son (minor). Was very happy to have met 2 decent deputies.
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  #34  
Old 01-16-2015, 09:06 PM
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Well, my Wife finally got sent to receiving (CCWF) late Wednesday. She was able to send us one last letter. She said she was nervous but more than ready. Hopefully get a postcard from her next week. Mail going out has been pretty quick, but not coming in !
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  #35  
Old 01-17-2015, 07:50 AM
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mail we send them takes a long time. I used to joke that when my hub was in reception that I could have walked to the prison (it was only one county over from me) gotten a hair cut and a foot massage, delivered the mail (for the whole prison) and walked back home taking the long way and he still would not have rec'd the letter I wrote him.
Some times it just takes a while. Eventually it gets there.
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  #36  
Old 01-21-2015, 02:58 AM
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Good to know that she got already sent to receiving. Keep updating us.
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  #37  
Old 01-24-2015, 12:33 PM
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Well, already got mail from my Wife from Receiving. Less than a week. I have no doubt that it will take longer for her to get mine than vice versa. She is doing good so far. It's going to be a long ride in receiving, but hoping it goes quick.
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Old 02-16-2015, 05:53 PM
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Coming up on 5 weeks in receiving for my Wife. We have gotten 2 letters and 2 postcards. I'm glad to say the mail has been getting through pretty quick. Well, for postcards for sure. I have sent her 4-5 postcards (she got those), 2 long letters, and some envelopes and a writing pad. It's so weird not being able to talk to her, but I do really like writing. I just keep a "running" letter. Get a few days and then send it and start another one. I believe yesterday was the first day she was able to go to the commissary. So, that's cool. Once a month in receiving. My kids and I are hanging in there pretty good. We'll have a breakdown every couple of weeks. But, we're making it. Hopefully, she'll be out of there and "over the wall" soon.
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  #39  
Old 02-16-2015, 06:27 PM
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Glad you are enjoying writing and also glad you're wife is doing well. I did the same thing with the running letters when my friend was in county.

Hopefully she will get out of receiving soon so you can schedule a visit with her.
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  #40  
Old 02-24-2015, 08:19 AM
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hopefully the visitors approval gets there soon and you can visit.
That was the nerve wracking part for me (that, and not getting thru to make an appt )
hopefully its not as bad at her prison. I understand the womans side of prison isnt as busy with visitors so maybe you wont experience the frustration of that part.
(wanting to visit but not getting an appt)

Glad you guys are getting mail back and forth.
Since my hub was in reception for just over a yr, it was critical (the mail)
and no your wife wont spend that long in reception, Im sure of it.
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  #41  
Old 03-04-2015, 10:33 AM
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Ok, my daughter and I are all approved for visits. Took a while. I didn't realize that we wouldn't hear from CDCR, they just tell the inmate who relays the message. The mail is flowing pretty good. Her letter take 4-7 days to get through to us and ours take 7-10 days to get through to her. Postcards about 5-7 days. We did get a "free" 60 second phone call ! Didn't expect that, so 60 seconds was better than nothing. Call came from Houston, TX via GlobalLink.
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  #42  
Old 03-04-2015, 06:45 PM
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Rise21, I've been reading this thread and I really admire your strength and courage. I can't even imagine how difficult all this is for you're entire family. My son is in federal and just started his 21 month sentence and his son is 2 weeks old. It's been difficult but I know this too shall pass. Keep your head up and please know that you're not alone. There are so many families struggling with the separation of prison and I think just having someone who understands how hard it is really helps. God bless you and I wish you the best of luck.
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  #43  
Old 03-04-2015, 11:17 PM
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Thank you for the kind words Jules.
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Old 03-15-2015, 08:17 PM
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Got some good news ! I actually got a 10 minute call from my Wife yesterday ! She found out she was accepted to train for fire camp ! She really wanted that. Her security level score was extremely low, so she will have other options as well. She has 1-3 more weeks at CCWF and then will be sent to CIW to train, then on to camp. She sounded good and sounded strong. Was so nice to hear from her !
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  #45  
Old 03-16-2015, 12:04 AM
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That is great news!! I know it must have been really nice to hear her voice. Stay strong!
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Old 04-19-2015, 06:27 PM
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Hoping and praying my Wife gets transferred to CIW for fire camp training this week. Going on 4 months at CCWF (receiving). Been torture for my kids and I. I can tell by her letters it's really getting to her too. She saw her counselor a month ago too. So frustrating.
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Old 04-21-2015, 09:48 AM
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I hope she enjoys her training. I hear fire camp is pretty near the best one can hope for in prison. (dont know if that is true or not, but everyone says its best/better than regular prison)

Also visits are supposed to be better too in fire camp. (again, dont know from personal experience ....just what Ive heard)
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Old 04-21-2015, 10:20 AM
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Well I read a lot of people saying that the first 3 months are the hardest, before we went through them! And man nothing could be more true!!! I can really say that was not a rumor - haha! The first three months will be really hard on both of you and they will seem to take FOREVER! But once you get through them the time zooms by after that for you both! Not saying it is ever good or the loneliness goes away, but it gets way more bearable and time really does go by faster, especially if you have like planned visits, if she is close you can visit every weekend that that is so much better than most people get! But if she is moved far and you can only visit once a month or less even than you plan a date and look forward to that date and its really exciting when you go and so good to visit, obviously its very depressing and sad when you leave but than you both start looking forward to the next visit, and so on and so on - so just get through the first month, the second will be a little easier and the third even more so, and after than it will go by really quick! 18 months is nothing! We got 7.5 years and in federal so we have to do 85% of the time - it has been 1.5 years and the first few months was supper sad and slow but the last year has actually gone by faster, I would say the last year has seemed just as long as the first three months did - since they dragged by so slow! But I will tell you - a year and a half would have been plenty! We are wishing it was done so badly - this would have been do able - but knowing we are not even at the half way point is soooooo sucky! So just get through this first part and it will all be ok It will be done before you know it! Good Luck!
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Old 05-01-2015, 09:29 PM
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After 4 months in receiving, I am happy to say my Wife is over the wall and was just transferred to CIW. We have our first visit this Sunday. Very excited and nervous.
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  #50  
Old 05-01-2015, 10:35 PM
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That's terrific, I too have been following your posts. Its nice to see your wife is doing well and your all adjusting. Have a great visit!!
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