Welcome to the Prison Talk Online Community! Take a Minute and Sign Up Today!






Go Back   Prison Talk > WELCOME TO PTO > Introduce Yourself!
Register Entertainment FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

Introduce Yourself! Please stop by and introduce yourself and share your story with others in the Prison Talk Online community!

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 01-12-2020, 02:17 AM
Missmyboy2 Missmyboy2 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Nov 2019
Location: Michigan-- America
Posts: 12
Thanks: 25
Thanked 17 Times in 6 Posts
Default Intro--missmyboy2 from Michigan

My child has just been sentenced to 4-7 years in prison. I was learning the jail routine and now I am trying to cram all new rules and regulations about prison. All the while having no idea where he will end up. He hasn't even left county yet. He is scared and so am I. So thankful I found this website. I will plug along and NEVER give up on him. He is charged with cp. One of my defining moments after browsing the threads is this...
Sadly I was one of those people who media taught all sex offenders are horrible people.. I never stopped to think that not all sex offenders are the same. Those people that I criticized had family, they were someones child-mother-father-sibling. I haved learned empathy and humilty and that every story is unique. For that I thank you for opening my eyes. May everyone on this website find some sort of peace and encouragement. I have.
Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Missmyboy2 For This Useful Post:
Buttercream (01-12-2020), Girl22472 (01-12-2020), orchibu (01-12-2020), patchouli (01-13-2020), sidewalker (01-12-2020), trauma4us (01-12-2020)
Sponsored Links
  #2  
Old 01-12-2020, 05:36 AM
fbopnomore fbopnomore is offline
Site Moderator
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 29,964
Thanks: 47,959
Thanked 23,164 Times in 13,319 Posts
Default

Welcome to Prison Talk. The beginning is difficult because of all of the unknowns. Once he arrives at his designated prison, it will be easier to develop a schedule for communicating with your son.
__________________
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to fbopnomore For This Useful Post:
Missmyboy2 (01-13-2020)
  #3  
Old 01-12-2020, 08:55 AM
sidewalker sidewalker is online now
CA, LASO, site sug. SUPER MOD
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: ca usa
Posts: 33,196
Thanks: 58,825
Thanked 31,858 Times in 15,897 Posts
Default

You can find out some info in the LASO forum
here
http://prisontalk.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=101
Be sure to scroll waaaaaaaay down on the page for the main forum (its a glitch)


For info about specific state prisons check the state. So your looking for info for MI
http://prisontalk.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=149
__________________
My windows aren't dirty

That's my dog's nose art

Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to sidewalker For This Useful Post:
Missmyboy2 (01-13-2020), patchouli (01-13-2020)
  #4  
Old 01-12-2020, 09:17 AM
Girl22472 Girl22472 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: May 2018
Location: Indiana
Posts: 567
Thanks: 441
Thanked 640 Times in 309 Posts
Default

Was his charge a federal charge? Most are I think mainly because for this charge they often pick them up in "stings" and honestly I think it's because many state judges are Realizing what we have and that not all sex offenders are the same and the possession of CP is the lowest of the low as far as charges and are getting less and less time. But since you stated how much time he got again I assume that it is federal.

That being said if he has a clear criminal history he will likely fall into the "low" category. If he is also in Michigan then my guess would be he would probably be assigned to Elkton in northern Ohio. There may be a closer low facility though off the top of my head I cannot think of one. He won't necessarily get the closest but quite often they do. I went over the BOP maps 10 million times before my husband was designated and still was blown away when he was designated. I am in southern Indiana and my husband is in Arkansas.

I have taken my time to help educate others not just about CP and how it is obtained since it is not something that "just pops up" or someone finds "on accident" but that every case and person is unique and sadly it is really more "common" than people realize. The media doesn't help either. I cannot tell you how many times I have seen articles that refer to someone being charged or sentenced where the title mentions only CP but as you read on there are many other charges that are contact charges. This charge is often touted to scare the public but even the judge in my husband's case stated no matter what they do they see it more and more.

Keep your head up. Remember this is his crime and his lesson to learn and you're an innocent person who has had their life turned upside down. Don't let others chastise you for your choice to support your son. I have a huge support system of friends and it helps. Those who do not or refuse to understand are no longer in that circle.
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Girl22472 For This Useful Post:
Missmyboy2 (01-13-2020), sidewalker (01-13-2020)
  #5  
Old 01-13-2020, 10:20 PM
Missmyboy2 Missmyboy2 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Nov 2019
Location: Michigan-- America
Posts: 12
Thanks: 25
Thanked 17 Times in 6 Posts
Default

Thank you for the words of encouragement. I have been browsing all the stories on the forum and it sucks that we all need this. But very happy I have found a place that doesn't judge. That alone is a relief. He isn't under Federal just state. His attorney had us convinced he was looking at 2 yrs max. So when the 4 - 7 judgement came down (10 months over his guidelines) my world fell apart again. I know I shouldn't compare to what anyone else got. However he was in county with a 7 time felon who was drugging and penetration a 15 yr old. He got 14 mos. My son had downloaded porn and had no priors other that driving on a suspended. I am so frustrated at the difference. I feel like I wear 18 different faces. The work face where I always say yeah I'm doing good. Even though I'm barely hanging on. The brave face for my son. The face for the family. The face that pretends to care about anything right now. And of course the face that shows the real me in private. I just want to curl up and just wait for this to all pass. However I know that isn't possible. Thank you for letting me release to you, people that have worn the same shoes I'm walking in now.
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Missmyboy2 For This Useful Post:
fbopnomore (01-14-2020), Girl22472 (01-13-2020), patchouli (01-13-2020), sidewalker (01-14-2020)
  #6  
Old 01-13-2020, 10:31 PM
Girl22472 Girl22472 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: May 2018
Location: Indiana
Posts: 567
Thanks: 441
Thanked 640 Times in 309 Posts
Default

Yes, one of the first things you hear here is to not drive yourself crazy comparing cases and yet we all still do it, we cannot help ourselves. To be truthful I am surprised it is a state charge, especially in Michigan. As I recall their Sex Offender Registry is under fire right now and the Governor agrees. It sounds as if he got a judge out to make a point for one reason or another and that sucks for everyone. The benefit is he'll remain in the state and if he does everything he's told and keeps his head down he'll probably do the short end of the 4 years. I just did a quick search and it said that good time in Michigan is 54 days a year (the same as federal) but there may be programs to help make it sooner. Encourage him to do all he can because if I have learned anything through this people without a criminal history need less time to learn a lesson. He will be bored and looking for things to do, nothing better then to find any and all programs he can qualify for.
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Girl22472 For This Useful Post:
fbopnomore (01-14-2020), Missmyboy2 (01-13-2020)
  #7  
Old 01-13-2020, 10:54 PM
patchouli's Avatar
patchouli patchouli is online now
PTO Administrator
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 42,825
Thanks: 43,498
Thanked 36,374 Times in 16,765 Posts
Default

I'm assuming Michigan has parole - some states do not Once he gets to his home prison, he can work & take programs. Doing so will not only look good to the Parole Board, but will help keep him from being bored and getting into trouble. Staying busy isn't just advice for the one in prison, but those who love him out here, too: the busier you can stay, the faster the time goes.

Welcome to PTO
__________________
prisontalkhelp@gmail.com

patchouli, PTO Admin



Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to patchouli For This Useful Post:
Missmyboy2 (01-14-2020)
  #8  
Old 01-14-2020, 08:51 AM
sidewalker sidewalker is online now
CA, LASO, site sug. SUPER MOD
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: ca usa
Posts: 33,196
Thanks: 58,825
Thanked 31,858 Times in 15,897 Posts
Default

I totally understand the *face* that is put on. Very difficult.
I did the same, as well as the *comparing crimes, sentences*
Dont do it. Just dont. It will make you nuts. (and yes, we all do it)


Try to find things to do that you can enjoy. Or at least dont mind doing. lol.
Distraction of work helped me alot. Then at home I had my minor son. Another distraction.
It was when I tried to sleep that the sadness, fear, frustration, shame.......etc......rushed in.

It WILL get better. It will. I know I never believed it either. But it does. Its never the same as it was, but it does get better. Be patient with yourself. Ask others to be as well. You would be surprised at the support you can get. Oh and PTO? And the Laso forums?
Helped sooooo much. Most in there understood. Most if not all were supportive. And if they were not? They were dealt with by moderators.
__________________
My windows aren't dirty

That's my dog's nose art

Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 01-14-2020, 09:41 AM
Missmyboy2 Missmyboy2 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Nov 2019
Location: Michigan-- America
Posts: 12
Thanks: 25
Thanked 17 Times in 6 Posts
Default

Thanks sidewalker. I think its a good thing I don't wear make-up cuz it would take all day to fix all my different faces. Lol. I do try and stay busy. I have my work. But other than that I honestly just feel like being a hermit. Is it wrong I feel guilty for trying to do something fun? I just think how much funner it would be if only he could be with me, which in turn depresses me even more. He is my youngest son and we were thick as thieves which hurts all the more. I think I'm doing ok but then a thought or a half of a thought just sends me back down in my pit. This forum is a godsend. I talked to my son today and read him one of Rew's sex offender letters and it totally helped ease SOME of his anxiety. I told him how much this place means to me and he said he is interested in becoming a member with an insiders view. That made me smile. But only for a minute. Thank you again.
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Missmyboy2 For This Useful Post:
patchouli (01-14-2020), sidewalker (01-14-2020)
  #10  
Old 01-14-2020, 09:55 AM
Girl22472 Girl22472 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: May 2018
Location: Indiana
Posts: 567
Thanks: 441
Thanked 640 Times in 309 Posts
Default

Everything that you are feeling is completely normal. While I often hate to compare it to a death especially around those who have gone through a particularly difficult death, it really does feel that way in the beginning in many ways.

Another way to look at it is like a deployment. They are gone for a while but they will come back, You're gonna worry while they are gone, You cannot just pick up the phone and call them, And when they come back they are going to be different. But they do come back. Is there a risk that they won't, sure but there's that risk every day anyway whether there or not.

My grown son lives with me to help me financially so there's someone else here most of the time. But I still spend the vast majority of my time when I am home in my bedroom. I would not say that I'm depressed I have just isolated myself in there most days and that's OK. I go out and function like an adult when I have to.

And then there are moments like one that will be coming up next week. My boss is taking all the employees out for dinner. We are allowed to bring our significant others. I'm pretty sure prison is not gonna let him come.lol. So I will go wishing the whole time that he is with me and then I'll come home, Send him an email about my day and move on.

You will feel guilty the 1st time you have fun, The 1st time you realize you've gone more than 2 hours without thinking of him. As time goes on you will not forget where he is that but you'll get through it.
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Girl22472 For This Useful Post:
fbopnomore (01-14-2020), Missmyboy2 (01-14-2020)
  #11  
Old 01-17-2020, 07:29 PM
ChloeMoe ChloeMoe is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: Michigan, USA
Posts: 4
Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Girl22472 View Post
Yes, one of the first things you hear here is to not drive yourself crazy comparing cases and yet we all still do it, we cannot help ourselves. To be truthful I am surprised it is a state charge, especially in Michigan. As I recall their Sex Offender Registry is under fire right now and the Governor agrees. It sounds as if he got a judge out to make a point for one reason or another and that sucks for everyone. The benefit is he'll remain in the state and if he does everything he's told and keeps his head down he'll probably do the short end of the 4 years. I just did a quick search and it said that good time in Michigan is 54 days a year (the same as federal) but there may be programs to help make it sooner. Encourage him to do all he can because if I have learned anything through this people without a criminal history need less time to learn a lesson. He will be bored and looking for things to do, nothing better then to find any and all programs he can qualify for.
There is no "good time " in state prisons in Michigan, only in the county jails. But you are correct that he should take advantage of available programming to not only pass the time but to look good for the parole board.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Intro--4 eva n a day from Michigan 4 eva n a day Introduce Yourself! 6 11-27-2011 01:37 PM
Intro--Aym from Michigan Aym Introduce Yourself! 4 11-03-2011 10:47 PM
Intro--kjg from Michigan kjg Introduce Yourself! 3 10-20-2011 10:00 AM
Intro--MZ.DRE from Michigan MZ.DRE Introduce Yourself! 24 11-07-2006 01:52 PM
Intro--C.L.A. from Michigan C.L.A. Introduce Yourself! 22 04-03-2005 09:17 AM


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 11:17 AM.
Copyright © 2001- 2019 Prison Talk Online
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Website Design & Custom vBulletin Skins by: Relivo Media
Message Board Statistics