Welcome to the Prison Talk Online Community! Take a Minute and Sign Up Today!






Go Back   Prison Talk > FOR "OFFENDERS" > Straight Talk
Register Entertainment FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

Straight Talk The general Ex-Offender discussion forum. If you have done time, this forum is for you.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 12-28-2019, 06:12 PM
Shaun9981 Shaun9981 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Dec 2019
Location: California, USA
Posts: 8
Thanks: 1
Thanked 6 Times in 5 Posts
Default Nobody means what they say!

After coming home from 11 years, I find that people don't really think about what they say or do, they just do it, then they are surprised when things go haywire. I am having a difficult time adjusting to this. Has this affected any of you?
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Shaun9981 For This Useful Post:
Ms Sunny (12-28-2019)
Sponsored Links
  #2  
Old 12-28-2019, 06:47 PM
Born Born is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Nov 2019
Location: between two countries
Posts: 180
Thanks: 66
Thanked 116 Times in 68 Posts
Default

Welcome to the new way of life. I personally don't like it myself but it seems like the in thing at the moment. I prefer honestly, loyalty and do what you promise or mean.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Born For This Useful Post:
Ms Sunny (12-28-2019)
  #3  
Old 12-28-2019, 06:48 PM
patchouli's Avatar
patchouli patchouli is offline
PTO Administrator
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 42,799
Thanks: 43,469
Thanked 36,359 Times in 16,756 Posts
Default

I'm not surprised at all that you've noticed that people don't really think about what they say or do, they just do it, then they are surprised when things go haywire.


Seems we live in an age of expectations without appreciation, instant-gratification, and the "who, me? Its only wrong if YOU do it!" syndrome. I also belief that these symptoms-of-something-deeper affect a mostly specific age group....but I'll not name that group for the sake of civility. Maybe these things are magnified for you after doing 11 years, I don't really know. I do know I'm glad you're here
__________________
prisontalkhelp@gmail.com

patchouli, PTO Admin



Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 12-28-2019, 06:57 PM
Kimimi Kimimi is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: OR USA
Posts: 635
Thanks: 533
Thanked 930 Times in 419 Posts
Default

I saw my boyfriend struggle with this and still does sometimes after 2 years. He said out here no one is loyal, no ones word is worth much, disrespect happens because everyone gets away with it. He would get exhausted or anxious in crowds and a lot of other things. He did well with some counseling sessions and understanding. You are not alone at all many getting out feel this way. My boyfriend has a job now where a lot of his clients are men getting out of prison and they go through similar experiences.
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Kimimi For This Useful Post:
408MoonGem (12-30-2019), GaReform (12-29-2019), marco1969 (12-29-2019), patchouli (12-28-2019)
  #5  
Old 12-28-2019, 07:22 PM
maytayah's Avatar
maytayah maytayah is offline
Lil British Site Moderator
 

Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: England Uk
Posts: 8,950
Thanks: 8,908
Thanked 11,601 Times in 4,809 Posts
Default

That's modern society for you, we live in an age of everyone wanting their rights but not wanting to take any responsibility. Its the age of I want it and I want it now, but not prepared to work for it. Its the age of celebrity and fame being the aspirations of many. Its the age of demanding loyalty and honesty but not always being prepared to give it. You cant change other peoples behaviour just your own.
__________________
"Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again." Nelson Mandela.

Who cares what they say about us? Because when I am with you I am standing with an army.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 12-28-2019, 08:02 PM
onedayatatime13 onedayatatime13 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 3,019
Thanks: 466
Thanked 3,896 Times in 1,826 Posts
Default

Impulse control is lacking. Immediate gratification as was stated earlier. Do now and not think about the consequences later. It's all in the moment.

I find it is easier to sit back and watch the chaos unfold. Not my circus not my monkeys
__________________


Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to onedayatatime13 For This Useful Post:
Kimimi (12-28-2019), Ms Sunny (12-28-2019)
  #7  
Old 12-29-2019, 04:01 AM
Firebrand's Avatar
Firebrand Firebrand is offline
The Cowtown Moderator
 

Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Ft. Worth, TX
Posts: 2,711
Thanks: 2,431
Thanked 6,013 Times in 1,594 Posts
Default

11 years, huh? You've been gone for awhile. They say that when a person stays gone for more than 2 years, the adjustment phase takes longer and it's more complicated when you get out. Why that is, I don't know. A prison guard at the Eastham unit here in Texas is the person who actually made that comment about the "when you're gone more than 2 years" issue. He said that back around 1990 and I think he's right about that, too.
Yes, the ways of people on this side of the fence are considerably different in areas both great and small. You notice things after having done several years in prison that before the incarceration were just a blur. One of the things that stands out about what you're referring to concerning people who say one thing and then do another......that's the difference between having choices in the Free World as someone who is free in comparison to someone incarcerated who simply does what they're told to do. We have choices in prison, but for the most part, they're cut and dried matters where we have little control as to what happens or what the outcome is. The freedom to choose, the freedom to change one's mind, the freedom to be spontaneous.....those are some of the precious gems we lose when go to prison or go back there again.
__________________
We're All In This Together
Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Firebrand For This Useful Post:
408MoonGem (12-30-2019), Buttercream (12-31-2019), Kimimi (12-29-2019), marco1969 (12-29-2019), maytayah (12-29-2019), sidewalker (12-30-2019)
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
What a detainer means in Connecticut _Often means ICE detainer bailey01 Criminal Immigration Issues 1 03-23-2019 09:14 AM
TPM does it means what I think it does... Faith_N_Hope Georgia Parole, Probation, Work Release & Community Service 19 04-16-2009 12:31 PM
Can Anyone Tell Me If This Is What I Think It Means?? msbusch General Prison Talk 13 08-26-2008 09:04 PM
What does P.T.O means? Raiderfan80 General Prison Talk 4 10-24-2007 11:19 AM
Can Anyone tell me what this means dolphinz Prison Legislation & Laws 1 04-17-2005 11:23 PM


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 10:51 AM.
Copyright © 2001- 2019 Prison Talk Online
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Website Design & Custom vBulletin Skins by: Relivo Media
Message Board Statistics