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  #1  
Old 04-19-2008, 06:28 PM
UrbanFool UrbanFool is offline
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Default Letter Requesting Rehab

Greetings! Can't remember my last log-on, so this one is new.

My brother is going back to prison for the second time and is wanting me to write a letter pushing drug rehab for him to give to the judge.

In my heart, I can't ask for rehab in lieu of prison, so I'm not sure what my brother's wanting. When he was released from prison the first time I pushed and pushed for him to go to rehab and he refused (I even offered to go with him, as well as take him to AA/NA meetings), so I have a hard time with this letter-writing campaign. At this point, I think it's just a lame attempt for him to get out of responsibility of his latest f-up.

I could sure use help with the composition of this thing, and/or ideas.

Kelly
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Old 04-20-2008, 12:19 AM
greeneyedlady19 greeneyedlady19 is offline
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my 23 year old son is in rehab for 6 months. Court appointed of course for getting into trouble numerous times. He got addicted to oxycontin. VERY BAD STUFF!! I'm so relieved for him to be there. Now, I"m turning into the tough love part on him. That is my best advice to you for you to give your brother. I let my son know that I will not love him to death. Good luck with this!!
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Old 04-20-2008, 12:21 AM
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Is your brother unable to write? or is his writing hand injured at this time?

If not, writing a letter for him or on his behalf is enabling.
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Old 04-20-2008, 08:39 AM
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I didn't even look at it that way.

I do know it took a lot of balls for him to ask my mom to ask me to do that... but then I guess desperation sets in when you're on your way to the big house. He really does need rehab... but he's had so many opportunities already.

Although I could write that going to rehab be a qualification of his parole when he gets out of prison. Since I'm sending the letter directly to him though, the judge would probably never SEE that.

Kelly
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Old 04-20-2008, 08:57 AM
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When people need help sometimes it takes falling down more then once to really relize it. Family would offer to get my husband help for his drinking right and left but he wouldn't do it. Now he is back in prison and now he wants help. Not cus he wants out of prison time, which is what the whole family is jumping to conclusions with, but because he really wants it. He sees his problem he really does want the help. So my opinion from experience is that never turn your back when they are asking for help. No one in this world is prefect we all got problems one way or another and we all need each other.
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Old 04-20-2008, 12:14 PM
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Most addicts I know are very bright and very capable. Being supportive is believing in them enough to allow them to take care of their own business.

Helping him would be to encourage him to attend meetings while incarcerated, helping him would be to encourage him to write a letter to the judge himself, helping him would be encouraging him to seek out other addicts in recovery.

Enabling him would be treating him like he is not capable. Enabling him is to not think he is even bright enough to write a letter. Enabling him is to show him you donít believe in him and to do everything for him.

It has nothing to do with turning ones back, quite the opposite. It has everything to do with consequences and rewards, making good decisions, doing the next right thing, and believing that he is more than capable to do these things.
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Old 04-20-2008, 08:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shelby View Post
Most addicts I know are very bright and very capable. Being supportive is believing in them enough to allow them to take care of their own business.

Helping him would be to encourage him to attend meetings while incarcerated, helping him would be to encourage him to write a letter to the judge himself, helping him would be encouraging him to seek out other addicts in recovery.

Enabling him would be treating him like he is not capable. Enabling him is to not think he is even bright enough to write a letter. Enabling him is to show him you donít believe in him and to do everything for him.

It has nothing to do with turning ones back, quite the opposite. It has everything to do with consequences and rewards, making good decisions, doing the next right thing, and believing that he is more than capable to do these things.
I disagree....ya he can write his own letter and as well he should...but to have family and loved ones support and there letters on his behalf does not enable him...it gives him support and love!!!!!!!!! We all need that!
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Old 04-21-2008, 05:23 PM
MICherieH MICherieH is offline
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ya know, there is a very fine line between someone wanting to stay out of jail/prison and someone really wanting to get clean and sober. I agree with the original writers suggestion of writing the judge and mention treatment as a condition of parole. You can send the letter directly to the judge and then just tell your brother, yes, I wrote the Judge, he should have my letter, and dont lie, just dont say exactly what you wrote.

They are getting better at treatment in prison's too. I dont know where you are, but here in Michigan they are focused on recidivism, which means, helping people learn to stay clean and crime free, thus reducing the return to prison rate, which is quite high. Right now most parolee's here who violate do not return to prison but do a treatment type thing for 30 to 90 days.

And no, dont enable him. Yes get yourself clean if your not, and go to meetings yourself. If your not an addict/alcoholic then go to alanon or naranon

Cherie' Good Luck
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Old 04-21-2008, 09:30 PM
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Originally Posted by MICherieH View Post
They are getting better at treatment in prison's too. I dont know where you are, but here in Michigan they are focused on recidivism, which means, helping people learn to stay clean and crime free, thus reducing the return to prison rate, which is quite high. Right now most parolee's here who violate do not return to prison but do a treatment type thing for 30 to 90 day,
Cherie' Good Luck
All the inmates should move where you live then.

Cus here in Cali 85% of inmates ARE in there due to parole violations. It is very sad. The prison systems here don't have good treatments in prison nor will they send you to a treatment place instead of prison. My husband was excepted into a treatment place but because he gave a dirty test one time for beer instead of letting him go into the rehab that his family was paying for they choose to lock him up. And that helps him or the comunity how? California does not look at anyones best intrest but themselves and there pay check. They wont get any money for sending someone into a treament place. Sadly they will if they send them to prison. Now wonder our crime rates keep going up. Hello! we don't help anyone it's not going to change!
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Old 07-19-2011, 10:35 AM
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This was sure written a long time ago. And wouldn't you know... he's back in prison for the 3rd time. At least this time I remembered my logon.

Kelly
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Old 07-19-2011, 11:06 AM
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Originally Posted by UrbanFool View Post
This was sure written a long time ago. And wouldn't you know... he's back in prison for the 3rd time. At least this time I remembered my logon.

Kelly
Dang.......I'm really sorry to hear that. You think maybe the third time will be the charm?
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