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Extended Family For the grandparents, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews and cousins of inmates.

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  #1  
Old 04-25-2007, 10:13 AM
cinccc cinccc is offline
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Default My son-in law is incarcerated

My oldest daughters husband is in jail for the 3rd time in 5 yrs. This time he is going to prison for at least 5 yrs. maybe longer. They have a precious 6 yr. old little boy. He loves his daddy very much. Last time his dad was in jail and then boot camp for about 15 months every one told him his dad was working. That was 8 months ago that his dad was out. Now he's been locked up almost 6 weeks and he needs to be told the truth. He got suspended from school yesterday for stabbing a child with a pencil. He is in kindergarten. He always has this rage when he can't see his dad. I am so upset. What can I do???
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Old 04-26-2007, 08:05 AM
pockets pockets is offline
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Oregon did a nice guidebook that helps adults explain prison stuff to young children. It might give your family ideas for helping your grandson cope (though you'll have to adapt the answers to fit your state and your son-in-law's situation). It addresses these questions:

1. Why did my Mom or Dad go to jail or prison?
2. What will happen to me?
3. Is it my fault?
4. Will I go to jail or prison, too?
5. Where do people in jail or prison live?
6. What do people in jail or prison wear?
7. Where do people in jail or prison eat, and what kind of food?
8. Do people in jail or prison have a TV, library, bathroom/shower and can they go outside?
9. Do people in jail or prison work?
10. How do people in jail or prison spend their time?
11. Are people in jail or prison safe and healthy?
12. Can I see or talk to Mom or Dad when they are in jail or prison? Do I have to?
13. What do I tell other people?
14. How can I learn when my parent will come home?
15. Where can I get help?
16. Notes for the Caregiver
17. Notes for Children
18. How do I feel today?

Download the booklet and see what you think.
http://egov.oregon.gov/DOC/PUBAFF/oam_booklet.shtml
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Old 05-01-2007, 07:17 PM
SGUZMAN SGUZMAN is offline
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Unhappy Days & Confuse

I have a son that is 24 yrs old, and he has a daughter who is going to be 6 yrs old in August, my son has been gone for a year exactly, and just got sentence to 5 yrs but with all his credit he has about 16months left, My son was taking a Parenting Class @ Pitchess Detention Center, and took a class TALK Program, which is offer to inmates, and once the inmates are done with at least 3 classes, they let the fathers (inmates) have a 2 hour contact visit with their children only, and well the fathers (inmates)are with their children , the moms, grandma , etc take the same class that there love one took. i have taken at least 7 parenting classes at Pitchess Detention Center (south), and to make a long story short the teacher did mention that father that are incarcerated should tell their children where there at, and why? but honestly i dont agree! My grand daugther thinks her dad is in special school for adults that dont listen, and get into trouble, but she has no ideal hes in jail? I have talked to my son regarding this topic several times , and we both have agree to wait for the right time. good luck!
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Old 08-29-2008, 10:14 AM
PHILIPBRYANT PHILIPBRYANT is offline
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I am sure whatever they are doing is legal. Without knowing what the charges are, the state laws, and what the other specifics of his case are and of the crime itself (federal or not, etc.) we cannot make a fair reply except to say I am sure if he has a lawyer, if it were possible, his lawyer would have him out on bond-bail, pending trial.
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Old 08-31-2008, 10:43 PM
Hardt Hardt is offline
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Days and Confuse.....What a great explanation. I will pass this on to the mother of a five year old. The little guy doesn't like kindergarten, and his mom told him that if his uncle could stick out 25 years, surely he could stick out one year. The little guy ( who misses his uncle terribly and cries for him) said "Okay Mom", and off to school he went.
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Old 09-10-2008, 03:04 PM
Wooly Rhino Wooly Rhino is offline
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They have classes for the guys in prison with kids. They send letters and pictures to the children. In Missouri they make coloring books for the kids. The classes help with how to be a father from prison. I would say your grandson has a hard life ahead three times in five years sounds like your son in law is not figuring out that Prison is a place to stay out of.

The truth is never something that should be kept from a child. Let him know what is going on but even more, let him know why. Bad choices lead to bad places. Maybe your grandson can become an example to your son in law. My prayers are with you.
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