"I Am A Prison Mother"

[tglsmom]

As I was browsing around PTO the other day, I realized that I’ve been a member for almost 8 years! I couldn’t believe it’s been that long so I decided to look back at some of my old threads/posts to see how much has changed. I came across this piece that I had found on the internet and that I had posted in September 2010. I hope it helps all the newer parents to see that not all is lost and that there is something good that can come out of this experience. And, yes, it still brings tears to my eyes!

I AM A PRISON MOTHER

( A True Story )

April 5, 2004

I am a Prison Mother. This is not something I chose for my life. This is a road that I am working my way down, because my son made poor choices in his life. Drugs became his best friend, and crime became his pastime. Now he will be living in a prison, until he has paid his debt to society. This is exactly where he needs to be. I would not change his life right now, even if I could. My son has made some serious mistakes. He knows this, and so do I. But, after he puts all of this behind him, he will be ready to step forward into the community to be the man God meant him to be.
This morning I am up very early. It is visiting day at the prison and I want to be in the line before it gets too long. I shower, dress, take time for a dry piece of toast and a cup of yesterday's coffee warmed over ... and, I'm out the door and on my way.
Where my son is incarcerated, it costs $7.00 to park your car. I pay my money, park the car and walk over to where the outside line is already wrapping around the corner of the outside waiting area. I go to the end of the line, and prepare to be patient. It is now 8:00 A.M. Some of the people at the head of the line have been here since last night. They have sleeping bags, blankets, sacks of food and sad faces. Some of these people I see over and over. They are there for a visit with their loved one each time I go. Sometimes we talk to each other. Sometimes we don't.

Read the entire article HERE:

Edited by Admin to conform with PTO's Copyright Rules

[jancy]

That's very good to read. Even for moms like me, whose son has been out over eight years, it brings back the feeling of going to see my son. A world that I never knew, but learned much about from his adventures.

It is a world that many know nothing of, yet many are in that world, and silently still being parents to the children they bore. With them through it all.

[icj357]

"On the road again" lol, have to laugh, tired of crying, and hoping once again this time will be the last time, only time will tell. Hang tough all of us moms, we will get through this.

[lizlizzie2]

Originally Posted by icj357

"On the road again" lol, have to laugh, tired of crying, and hoping once again this time will be the last time, only time will tell. Hang tough all of us moms, we will get through this.

If it is not the last timr, I am running away from home!

[jadah]

The recount of going to visit did bring back memories for sure. My husband has been "released from Prison" for two years now and ....the experience changed me for sure. Thanks for reminding me. I appreciate it.

[icj357]

I just had to add this - Since being on this journey with my son I have learned: New lingo, new recipes (some good, some uggg lol), more about the different short cuts driving to see him once a month, and have grown even more closer to my son than I thought imaginable!

[tglsmom]

Originally Posted by icj357

I just had to add this - Since being on this journey with my son I have learned: New lingo, new recipes (some good, some uggg lol), more about the different short cuts driving to see him once a month, and have grown even more closer to my son than I thought imaginable!

And adding to what you've learned, I've also had to learn PATIENCE - not only at visits, but in everything prison associated. You have to take it a day at a time or it will drive you crazy!

[tglsmom]

Originally Posted by lizlizzie2

If it is not the last timr, I am running away from home!

And I'll go with you!!

[lizlizzie2]

Originally Posted by icj357

I just had to add this - Since being on this journey with my son I have learned: New lingo, new recipes (some good, some uggg lol), more about the different short cuts driving to see him once a month, and have grown even more closer to my son than I thought imaginable!

Me too. Though I have yet to discover any good recipes from the concoctions they come up with. In AZ, the food choices to send him through Securepak or commissary are not very good for cooking, but I give them all kudos for their inventiveness. One Christmas I sent him a book through Amazon which had prison recipes. His buddy who worked in the kitchen and had done a number of years was surprised to find new ones.

I am closer to my son too. But, I admittedly wonder how much is real and how much is manipulation so as not to lose mom's support. Yet, from conversations, I can also tell he has has had some good role models - some who have lectured him on being good to his mom and some more practical who have lectured him on quid pro quo with mom.

[lizlizzie2]

Originally Posted by tglsmom

And I'll go with you!!

As long as we go somewhere warm - I like my convertible! I am in southern AZ and Monday it was 29 degrees at 6 am. Last weekend I got out the winter coat and put the car top up.

[michelleesther]

I am new to this well not really but the prison system yes. I love your passion

[MsFish]

New to this also. Just learning the acronyms is deserving of a medal.

[lizlizzie2]

Originally Posted by MsFish

New to this also. Just learning the acronyms is deserving of a medal.

5 years and I still get confused by some of them.

My son consistently corrects me when I call it the cafeteria as it is the mess hall. He tells me it is not high school. lol

[GypsyLuz11]

I am new here. Reading this is helping me not feel so odd. I do feel like we a silent group out here. I like my privacy, something compromised when son was arrested. I was at work when I got the call, so everyone at work knew what happened. Afterwards, I feel like I was being watched and people questioning my ability to do my job. I got into a verbal disagreement with a coworker who brought up son's situation repeatedly and then I walked in the lunchroom and overheard some rude comments. I've stopped eating in the lunchroom. I had to report everything to supervisor. He helped with the questions and comments which has really helped.



GypsyL

[fbopnomore]

Welcome to Prison Talk and to the parent's forum. One thing that many of us learn quickly when we become involved in the court/prison system is who our true friends are, and at the same time we figure out who is not worthy of our time or friendship. It hurts, and is difficult to ignore, but speaking up to your supervisor should put a quick stop to the lunchroom gossip.

[lizlizzie2]

Originally Posted by GypsyLuz11

I am new here. Reading this is helping me not feel so odd. I do feel like we a silent group out here. I like my privacy, something compromised when son was arrested. I was at work when I got the call, so everyone at work knew what happened. Afterwards, I feel like I was being watched and people questioning my ability to do my job. I got into a verbal disagreement with a coworker who brought up son's situation repeatedly and then I walked in the lunchroom and overheard some rude comments. I've stopped eating in the lunchroom. I had to report everything to supervisor. He helped with the questions and comments which has really helped. GypsyL

For me it was the opposite experience. Small town, small office, and working in the legal field, along with the newspaper article. Too much concern from others can leave you in tears at work. Yet, it was better than trying to put on a game face. My son had worked for my boss, so it was a shocker for him to realize how badly my son was addicted. It made taking off time for court and the first few weeks of feeling like I was in shock easier. if I was in a large office, I am sure I would have felt differently about co-workers knowing.