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  #1  
Old 06-29-2016, 09:12 AM
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jancy jancy is offline
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Default A blast from the past 😉

For the first time in about sixteen years, the local police were at my house. Back in my son's worst years, they were here regularly-either looking for my son, or because they were invited by me due to my son's behavior or his "friends" actions. OR because my ex was stalking me. Yes, I had quite the Jerry Springer life back then!

Yesterday it was only because my BF locked his keys in his vehicle. He has a company vehicle and the boss who lives in another state has the other set. After this, I am thinking someone better make another set.

I actually had to look up the police station number. I live in a small town and we only call 911 for emergencies. The local police are very local. Lol can't believe I no longer have it memorized.

Anyway, I got nervous right when I knew they were on the way. Old familiar butterflies. I was wondering what the neighbors might think. They had seen cop cars here many times. Sometimes with lights and sirens blasting.

When the police car pulled in quietly, I was watching out a window to see which cop had come. Used to know them all on first name basis. A younger unknown cop got out and opened his trunk to get the tool out to unlock the door. My BF was there to greet him. The cop got the tool through the door jam ok, but couldn't get it to hit the lock. He offered BF a try at it as I said a prayer. Lol. I was relieved to hear them get it open.

I stayed out of sight. Funny how all those negative experiences impact you down the road. I'm glad it's been so many years since I hosted a cop and also glad that I don't even know them personally. Heck, the guys who chased my son through my back woods are probably all worn out by now and retired. I'll have to tell my son the cop was here-and it had nothing to do with him!
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  #2  
Old 06-29-2016, 10:48 AM
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Wow most places they tell you to call a lock smith!!! I always get that sick feeling in my stomach when police are around also. But I also have had a life of "jerry springer episodes". Very glad things worked out ok for your BF.
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Old 06-29-2016, 01:45 PM
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I hear yah Jancy! I'm NOT a fan of the Jerry Springer drama ...I don't miss those days! The last police officer that came to our door came with news no parent ever wants to hear.
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Old 06-29-2016, 03:08 PM
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So glad that the key situation worked out and that the copís visit was a positive one for a change!

I know where youíre coming from. Fortunately, we never had any cops at our house. However, almost everywhere I go in two counties there are reminders Ė a rehab here, a jail there, an apartment he shared with his GF and son, etc., and especially where he was finally arrested the last time. As much as I try to avoid those places, itís not always possible and I start feeling anxious and sick until I pass by. I donít think that feeling or those memories will ever go away but, hopefully, when heís released and doing well (knock on wood!) there will be new places that WILL bring happy thoughts.

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Old 07-02-2016, 07:49 AM
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Yes, I have places that I pass that still give me a pang of sadness. One of those is the local high school. My son had the school record for the number of detentions and suspensions. He was expelled twice. I'm having the blessing of going through these same buildings one year at a time with his son who is about to enter sixth grade. I've been to his spring concerts and his science fair. He's never a behavior problem. Lol. So one of these years, I expect to see him graduate and that should help make the memories less painful.

The other day, I sent my son, the former inmate, a video he hadn't seen. It was of himself. He had been playing on my computer when he was eighteen and made a funny face video just screwing off. He didn't know it was saved. I recently emptied out the old computer and took a video of the video with my phone before erasing it and destroying the hard drive.

So yesterday, I sent it to my son's phone. He texted back, "I was skinny. If only I could restart my life from then." There was a long quiet pause between us. Then I texted back, "Today is the first day of the best of your life. ;-)"

I know that my son has regrets and that he feels he wasted a lot of time. Truthfully, if we waste a lot of our life learning important lessons in order to live the rest of our lives well, then it's not wasted time. I too have thought many a time, That if only I could restart my life from before I met my ex, or before I did this or that mistake. Now I know that everything I did led me to where I am today. If I hadn't met my ex, I wouldn't have the blessings of my sons, and grandkids. No more regrets, just moving on to "the best of my life".
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Old 07-02-2016, 10:57 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lordbew/us View Post
I hear yah Jancy! I'm NOT a fan of the Jerry Springer drama ...I don't miss those days! The last police officer that came to our door came with news no parent ever wants to hear.
Sad. I know that for me, having had my first child die, it did put things into perspective. I would always say about my son in trouble that at least he was alive. Then again, I would also think that the worst that could happen was that he would die. Having been through the death of a son, and knowing my faith reminded me that I would see him again one day, I no longer feared that anymore. Didn't want that, but knew it's not the end. It was "just for now".

Believe me, I hope that I die before any more children or grandchildren do. Painful time. ((Lordbew/us))
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Old 07-02-2016, 07:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jancy View Post
I know that my son has regrets and that he feels he wasted a lot of time. Truthfully, if we waste a lot of our life learning important lessons in order to live the rest of our lives well, then it's not wasted time.
Whenever my son has regrets (and he has many), I'm going to remind him of this. I sent him the following quote the other day. It's along the same lines.

There are no mistakes.
The events we bring
upon ourselves,
no matter how unpleasant,
are necessary in order to learn
what we need to learn;
whatever steps we take,
they're necessary to reach the
places we've chosen to go.
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Old 07-03-2016, 02:42 PM
GaReform GaReform is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tglsmom View Post
Whenever my son has regrets (and he has many), I'm going to remind him of this. I sent him the following quote the other day. It's along the same lines.

There are no mistakes.
The events we bring
upon ourselves,
no matter how unpleasant,
are necessary in order to learn
what we need to learn;
whatever steps we take,
they're necessary to reach the
places we've chosen to go.

That is so true. I have saved 3 things on my computer to remind me when I feel overwhelmed. I have shared them with my son to tell him not to give up. I tried to post them so hope they attach to this message.
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File Type: jpg You are who you are.jpg (112.2 KB, 6 views)
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