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  #1  
Old 04-30-2008, 12:26 PM
maybemanic maybemanic is offline
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Exclamation I slipped up... Need advice...

I have been on parole since last October and was really hopeing to be off this November. All I had to do is behave myself. Well I slipped up and used a very little amount of "stuff" last Saterday evening and 48 hours later my agent shows up with a bottle. I had been clean for 2 years prior to last Saterday and if my test comes back dirty I loose all hope of kicking parole in November and will get off in 2010 instead. I am totally screwed up over this as I was planning to leave the state to be with a loved one and now it's looking pretty bad. I don't think I will get violated but the idea of 3 more years on parole kills me. I am praying that it got out of my system but I don't have much hope. It was a one time thing, I was with the wrong people kinda by accident and the amount was VERY SMALL. Anyone with any experience and advice out there that could help calm my nerves? I'm so full of regret it's sick and I don't know what to do...

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  #2  
Old 04-30-2008, 12:42 PM
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WHy would you spend 3 more yrs on parole? How many yrs have you spent? From my husband being on parole I know you cant go out of the state unless your PO ok's the transfer otherwise if you go without that you will be in violation of your parole. Your PO can send you back for a dirty test even if it is one time. It all depends on how nice your PO is. But I have yet to find one that is nice! It takes a few days to a week for the PO to get the results back and when he does if he decieds to send you back to prison he will put a warrent out for you if he himself doesnt go to your home to pick you up. My husband is off parole in August but he did get picked up for one dirty test so he is now back in prsion till he is off parole.
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Old 04-30-2008, 12:47 PM
maybemanic maybemanic is offline
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In California, if a parolee is not high control, does well with now dirty tests or misses appointments and finds work we can be discharged after 13 months of the standard 3 year parole term. One slip and I am told the chance of being discharged in 13 months goes out the window. I have been on parole for 6 months with no problems until this. For all I know I might come back clean, but I fear that I wont.
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Old 04-30-2008, 12:54 PM
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Oh, my husband is a high control parolee, so he doesnt get anytime good time off. I hope for you that it does come back clean. Sometimes in cali even thought they take a sample not all the samples that are sent in get tested. Keep updated with your PO maybe he can send you to a drug program instead of back to prison. If this is your frist voilation
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Old 04-30-2008, 12:58 PM
maybemanic maybemanic is offline
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This is my first violation. I am already in a halfway house and I'm just sitting tight to see how it plays out and keeping my mouth shut. My agent seems to like me and I'm pretty sure I won't go back inside. I just want to be with someone who happens to live on the other side of the country and if I'm stuck on parole out here in CA I have no chance of getting to SC.
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Old 04-30-2008, 01:08 PM
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Quote:
little amount of "stuff"
I guess a lot depends on what kind of 'stuff'. Some things only stay in your system a short time. It's probably a little late as it sounds like you tested on Monday, but a home drug test can be purchased at Rite Aid and they are 99% accurate to check if anything shows up.
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Old 04-30-2008, 01:10 PM
maybemanic maybemanic is offline
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I took 10cc of "H" up the nose.
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Old 04-30-2008, 05:03 PM
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You might skate by on this, depending on your metabolism, but if you do slide by that test, I hope you'll remember the way you felt when that bottle showed up and the next time you're faced with a choice, you choose the long term goal over the immediate temptation.
Keep your eyes on the prize, Darlin.
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Old 05-01-2008, 04:15 PM
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As an outside observer, the answer appears obvious. This might come as a surprise, because you don't seem to be able to see the forest for the trees.
Observations: You obviously have a lot to work towards and have at least one person counting on you, but you used drugs despit this. You have been able to test clean and do well for a period of time, but used drugs despite this. You know that if you test dirty you could get sent back to prison, but you used drugs despite this. You want your life to be your own, and you don't want to risk going back to prison for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, but you used drugs in spite of this. You are minimizing by stating that you only used a little, which as you know isn't the issue at all. (Arguing that you could have bene higher isn't going to win friends and influence people.)
Conclusion: You are a drug addict. Act accordingly. You presently lack the resources to fight the addicion on your own. Your life is not your own, and therefore you lack control over your own destiny. It is therefore a reasonable conclusion that you will continue to violate the law, get caught, and go to jail or prison as you remain (from time to time) out of control. You are screwed iof things don't change.
Action Plan: For goodness sake, get some professional assistance. If you have an elephant to kill, you better find yourself an elephant gun. It really sounds like you ought to go a long term residential rehab as a way to maximize your chances of getting your life back and taking care of yourself. At the barest of minimums, you should be hitting a ton of AA/NA meetings and look into sliding fee scale group counseling. If you don't know how to get this action plan stareted, you need to ask for help. Your local Department of Alcohol and Drugs (or equivalent) can help, your old trial lawyer might be able to help, or you can ask around here.


Quote:
Originally Posted by maybemanic View Post
I have been on parole since last October and was really hopeing to be off this November. All I had to do is behave myself. Well I slipped up and used a very little amount of "stuff" last Saterday evening and 48 hours later my agent shows up with a bottle. I had been clean for 2 years prior to last Saterday and if my test comes back dirty I loose all hope of kicking parole in November and will get off in 2010 instead. I am totally screwed up over this as I was planning to leave the state to be with a loved one and now it's looking pretty bad. I don't think I will get violated but the idea of 3 more years on parole kills me. I am praying that it got out of my system but I don't have much hope. It was a one time thing, I was with the wrong people kinda by accident and the amount was VERY SMALL. Anyone with any experience and advice out there that could help calm my nerves? I tested two days ago and am sick with worry. I'm so full of regret it's sick and I don't know what to do...

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  #10  
Old 05-10-2008, 05:44 PM
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Hey...neighbor..im just up in carmel valley! Hey, i drank for 3 days,and afterwards i felt so much regret and remorse i just shut down...well, i slowly swallowed my ego, and thought this is life and death and my just isolating wont help. So, i went back to meetings and raised my hand as a newcomer, and it's better now..i am sober since april 23.
Are you going to meetings at all? Remember..no matter how far down the ladder you've gone, you can still be of HELP to OTHERS. Share your experience.
Dont run away.
See you at Fellowship Hall? I hope so...you cant miss me...lol!
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Old 05-10-2008, 05:47 PM
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and maybemanic...remember we cant do this alone...i think of that now when we all hold hands after a meeting and pray out. my hand in another hand reminds me we cant do this alone..we need each other!
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