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When the Relationship is Over... This forum is about discussing your thoughts, feelings and issues now that you and your incarcerated (or formerly incarcerated) loved one are no longer together. (This forum is NOT for bashing - please read the rules before posting.)

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  #76  
Old 06-08-2020, 09:38 PM
Ann1972 Ann1972 is offline
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Originally Posted by a.rare.love View Post
Ann:
First mistake, and hola(hello) and i disagree with even your words citing, "We like who we like."I always say, respectfully that's not how i am anyway. I realize it through "action"if a man is worth me "liking, and or wanting to even G2K(get to know) and or eventually"love."I've learned alot after a few bad D.V. relationships long time ago, glad those days are over. This guy is trash. Just how i feel. If he is not a "bad guy,then only you by his "actions"and or therelackof; will truly know that and GOD and him." This will be long,so read on and i really pray you're realizing he is not worth it.

Now, first mistake was:

1.)Texting too much. This is an absolutely NO-NO,to any man who is clearly not at all "caring" and more than likely laughin' at you,doing so.

2.)Allowing this less than a man mis-treat you, as he is definitely not a good guy,to treat you like he is.

I always say to others, (as a LIFE-POSITIVE-EMPOWERMENT COACH)for years, on end:

I would text 1x. ok #normal

I would even feasibly(possibly)text a second time.

3rd attempt:#wouldn't happen...NO. I would cease all electronic communication with a loser like this, would not look back.
I hate a man who also shall H.B.A.T. and that's an acronym for "Hiding behind a text."This is usually an easier way to just simply avoid you et.al., so i would cut off all and or any electronic communication with him, forcing him then (if he choose) and wise up, respect you ever again to call."
...
Why would i do that?
Quite simple. I know mi worth, period.
-
I would take "the hint." I would know my self-respect also is most important to me, and how i live mi vida(my life)day in, day out, without lowering mi self to some dude who is the way your man or ex is sounding. NWI(not worth it.)I would know that life is so short for all of us,
and how tomorrow is not a guarantee, so i'm not going to waste time with a jerk who is only disrespecting me to the point i have to question mi self, (like you did)saying, "What's wrong with ME?" I know mi worth, chica. I know who and what i deserve,and life is way too short to sit around,texting some fool, who isn't going to be bless anyway with how he is treating you, so remember #bad karma eventually shall hit him, if he hasn't had it yet." MOVE ON. Life is short,
so, enjoy being blessed, chica, to be healthy by waking up each morning and going to bed each night, realizing YOUR WORTH
(even if it's not with him.) He is not worth you losing your dignity and self respect.) If meant to be (again)IF it's truly meant to be with each other "later" trust me, GOD will see to it,that you two will be."Right now, move on, and don't look back." PM me anytime you want. Hugs and Blessings."Adios. Good night."
Thanks for the advice. I know I need to change.
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  #77  
Old 06-12-2020, 11:31 PM
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Originally Posted by Ann1972 View Post
Thanks for the advice. I know I need to change.


Hola. Ann,
i just read this late night.
Chica, trust and believe you're going to change.

I know this. reach me anytime, and remember, it's HIS loss.Never yours.Bad Karma shall eventually reach him, and you're to remember again you're going to and are FULLY 100% capable of changing, for the betterment of you,so believe in yourself,and just do it! I know you can. Reach me anytime,and hang in there. Hugs...and blessings. G-night,Ann.
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IF ACTION, isn't shown, then,it's not real. . .
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  #78  
Old 06-29-2020, 09:26 PM
Monarch Monarch is offline
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He is telling you to go away. You just aren’t listening.
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  #79  
Old 07-02-2020, 10:49 PM
Ann1972 Ann1972 is offline
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He is telling you to go away. You just aren’t listening.
I'm listening now
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  #80  
Old 07-02-2020, 11:04 PM
Ann1972 Ann1972 is offline
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If he wants me to go away that is what I will do. He lost something good I didn't. The people in this thread trying to hurt my feelings need to keep trying. I give zero fucks.
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  #81  
Old 07-03-2020, 06:36 AM
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Originally Posted by Ann1972 View Post
If he wants me to go away that is what I will do. He lost something good I didn't. The people in this thread trying to hurt my feelings need to keep trying. I give zero fucks.
No one is trying to hurt your feelings. People would like to see you happy and living your best life, but you are not grasping or seeing what is going in your world.

Letting him go frees you from all the drama, pain and hurt. What he has done to you in not normal or acceptable, yet you make excuses for him.

This is not love.
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  #82  
Old 07-03-2020, 07:27 AM
Ann1972 Ann1972 is offline
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No one is trying to hurt your feelings. People would like to see you happy and living your best life, but you are not grasping or seeing what is going in your world.

Letting him go frees you from all the drama, pain and hurt. What he has done to you in not normal or acceptable, yet you make excuses for him.

This is not love.
Your right. I was upset last night. Who wants to believe the person you have loved for years doesnt love you. It's a hard reality to face but I have to face it while telling myself its nothing wrong with me.
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  #83  
Old 07-03-2020, 07:41 AM
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Your right. I was upset last night. Who wants to believe the person you have loved for years doesnt love you. It's a hard reality to face but I have to face it while telling myself its nothing wrong with me.
Only thing you have done "wrong", I'm using quotations for a reason, is allow someone to walk all over you. You lost yourself in this mess. If you choose, you can go to therapy, sort it all out, and from this moment on live a happier, more fulfilling life.

Hopefully, once you heal, you'll find real love and know what real love is. Unfortunately, may people don't understand what love is and use their family and past experiences as the model for it. People are screwed up in general. A nasty dynamic is created by those who crave so much that they will take scraps from.another. Or, they idolize and fantasize so much that they fall in love with what they hope someone will be and not who they are.

Regardless, when a person truly loves you, you will know it and never question that love. It took me a long time to understand this myself. Real love makes you feel safe and brings out the best in you. It brings out the best in the orher person as well.

It ks not sunshine and rainbows all the time, but there is a mutual respect for another. It is not ghosting or inflicting pain. Some people are too damaged to love another person as they don't even love themselves.

Time to love yourself first and foremost. Time to take your personal power back. It will be hard at first, but after a few months you'll start to see things differently.

We have one shot at this life. How do you want to live it?
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  #84  
Old 07-03-2020, 08:03 PM
blueocean777 blueocean777 is offline
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This sounds like my ex, of which we broke up about 7 years ago and hes now in jail facing prison, and we can actually be friends because as lovers he drove me nuts, and not in a good way. He would play the jedi mind tricks, the gaslighting, the confusing and then ignoring me and dismissing me, etc. It was just so tiring. I was in my early 20s then. I am 33 now I cant put up with that shit again its too tiring. Its literally mentally draining! If he keeps up these stunts, then end it!
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  #85  
Old 07-19-2020, 10:37 AM
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Originally Posted by Ann1972 View Post
If he wants me to go away that is what I will do. He lost something good I didn't. The people in this thread trying to hurt my feelings need to keep trying. I give zero fucks.



I'm checking in today on you, hola chica! You're going' to be just fine, so just keep remembering ALL i said to you,and GOD shall make sure he (in due course)receive his #bad dose of karma sooner than later. It might not always "arrive" on time, but trust me, it'll happen. and yes, exactly, ZERO.
His loss,big time...
He is going to "realize it,chica... Remember, as you're happily positively blessfully moving on (per day)that it is absolutely HIS loss in life, and not yours...His loss, Ann, NOT yours.
Hugs y'(and)Blessings...Adios.
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#Love Yourself enough to smile, while letting go,realizin' life is too short,to not be happy.
IF ACTION, isn't shown, then,it's not real. . .
...
Lead with your MIND + not your heart...



Last edited by a.rare.love; 07-19-2020 at 10:41 AM..
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  #86  
Old 07-19-2020, 10:47 AM
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Originally Posted by blueocean777 View Post
This sounds like my ex, of which we broke up about 7 years ago and hes now in jail facing prison, and we can actually be friends because as lovers he drove me nuts, and not in a good way. He would play the jedi mind tricks, the gaslighting, the confusing and then ignoring me and dismissing me, etc. It was just so tiring. I was in my early 20s then. I am 33 now I cant put up with that shit again its too tiring. Its literally mentally draining! If he keeps up these stunts, then end it!


That's about it. All that has to be done. I wholly agree, as it is not worth it in today's age,and life it too short, for so many,sadly,and no need rushing to get yourself, a migraine, to headache,stomach pain(stress-related)to nerve issue, all because of a loser who was not able to keep his word promises by show of ACTION. Just don't even sweat it,and keep moving on to better."
-
Strong...Focused...Prudent,
women, can and shall just "keep it movin" when realizing what is really goin' on without fretting any longer and or without falling' for anymore of a no good POS who assumed that such women would NEVER catch on."I am glad chica, you're tired of it,or was and that you're able to recognize it now,as so many still do not, but i hope and pray more will one day,sooner than later. What a relief, when they do! NMIWI(no MAN is worth it period.) Enjoy your day Blue.
Adios.
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IF ACTION, isn't shown, then,it's not real. . .
...
Lead with your MIND + not your heart...


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  #87  
Old 07-20-2020, 09:16 PM
juliawilson juliawilson is offline
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I'm in love with the same person that I have been writing about. It's gotten worse. He get what he wants and leave. This past January he kept lying and I said I was done. I did good for 4 months. He called me back. I tried to ignore him but I gave in. I seen him and everything was good for a minute but when things seem to be going good I begin to text him and I keep texting until he responds. He said today he wants know one. I said you never cared he said I will call you back. Hes not responding. What is going on and what is wrong with me. I love him. I have been texting since yesterday he just responded back this morning. I know I push him away because I don't give him space but I feel like it's someone else. I wish he would just tell me to go away.
I'm sorry this is all happening to you. You know sometimes we wait for others to give us a sign. It's like waiting for an apology that will never come. I think it's the same thing in your situation. You're waiting for him to tell you to go away but he will not. You will have to take this decision by yourself. I know it's hard...But you'll have to do it eventually if you want to be happy. Love yourself more than you love him and it will set you free. Sending you big hugs!!
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  #88  
Old 07-20-2020, 10:23 PM
ambermarshall11 ambermarshall11 is offline
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Hey girlie i hope you are well i messaged you a little while back hope you are well checking in hope you are okay im here if you wanna talk
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  #89  
Old 07-29-2020, 08:59 AM
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Thank you everyone for your help. I hope all of you have been staying safe. I'm going to do better this time. I have know other choice. You all dont know how much you have helped me and I thank you. Now I HAVE to help myself.
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  #90  
Old 07-29-2020, 09:03 AM
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Originally Posted by blueocean777 View Post
This sounds like my ex, of which we broke up about 7 years ago and hes now in jail facing prison, and we can actually be friends because as lovers he drove me nuts, and not in a good way. He would play the jedi mind tricks, the gaslighting, the confusing and then ignoring me and dismissing me, etc. It was just so tiring. I was in my early 20s then. I am 33 now I cant put up with that shit again its too tiring. Its literally mentally draining! If he keeps up these stunts, then end it!
You know what when I read this I was like this what I have putting myself through for years. I thought I was the only one. Thank you for your response.
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  #91  
Old 07-29-2020, 10:33 AM
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If it wasn't for my son I don't see how I would make it. Love somebody and it's not enough.
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