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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

View Poll Results: Proteced or Unprotected
Protected 292 21.77%
Unprotected 1,049 78.23%
Voters: 1341. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 09-20-2014, 04:14 PM
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allhis4ever2014 allhis4ever2014 is offline
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We never used protection before, but now protected until we definitely get tested. I'm faithful but I wouldn't do something I'm asking him to do. I scared. he can be faithful but there is hepatitis and HIV. You don't have to have sex for these two. Also I want him to readjust and get his mind and self together before any kids come along. I heard to many stories.
" We all are on this Rocky and changing road called life, don't judge someone for getting caught in the ditch."
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Old 09-21-2014, 04:40 AM
jadah jadah is offline
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How 'bout SOME??? My husband has been locked for 11 years and there aren't family visits in this state....I doing my time with him.
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Old 09-29-2014, 05:26 AM
Lexanianna Lexanianna is offline
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When I first started seeing my man I asked him to get tested before going unprotected. He did and showed me the results. We were broken up for a year and in that time I dated someone else. When my man and I decided to get back together I got tested just to be safe. I wouldn't want to infect the man I love so better safe than sorry. If you're going unprotected both should get tested first.
When I'm in a serious relationship I do prefer unprotected. It's a personal preference. I mean unprotected as in no condom because I've always had a rod in my arm against pregnancy. I had it removed once he got locked up but when he gets out we have decided to try for a baby so all good!
Together since 2010. Waiting since 2013.
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Old 09-29-2014, 05:08 PM
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Pfftt, I said we aren't doing anything at all until he is tested for everything under the sun, and I want to see the results MYSELF.

Then we can decide.

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Old 10-12-2014, 09:47 AM
Hopeful88 Hopeful88 is offline
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Question Just wondering

If i trust him but he got tattoos and didnt tell and
Me, do guys admit to being with another man is been 4yrs hes been locked up and i think guys dont wait that long without sex or do they?
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Old 10-12-2014, 12:48 PM
PhantomGirl PhantomGirl is offline
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Protected until tested. Bottom line. Matter of fact, more like nothing until tested. I'd want him to get tested for everything prior to coming out. I know in fed prison, they can request it.
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Old 12-15-2014, 07:46 PM
JaeBella JaeBella is offline

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unprotected sex feels soooo much better than protected sex, like so much better lol but there's a lot that comes with that. .

i don't believe that's something anyone should do casually or carelessly, only with someone you're in a relationship/serious with and if you're both tested and on the same page on how you feel about it, no pressure. i've only done that with one person, my love who's locked up now and it wasn't an immediate thing. out of the almost 4 years we were together we only stopped using condoms a year ago or so up until last month. he would ask me before that but i was never with it so he waited until i was ready. i want to say this without saying too much lol but for me "bare" just makes everything flow better. . come third, fourth or fifth round sometimes it doesn't feel the same to me if that makes any sense. . too much friction.

i feel the same way as a lot of the ladies on here about when he comes home if it should continue. . protected until tested. i wouldn't be offended if he asked me the same. if anything DOES happen in prison i would hope he would tell me but i HIGHLY doubt that.

i don't believe in every situation whether or not you have unprotected sex with someone equates to how much you care. . for me it does show my level of care and commitment but i know there's a lot of people who do it just to do it which shouldn't be the case. my man, he didn't necessarily expect it from me off the bat but you know they try to lol. if he did though, i wouldn't feel pressured to. . i'd let him know i wasn't ready and wait until i would be.

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Old 12-16-2014, 09:53 AM
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WeepingWillow WeepingWillow is offline
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My LO contracted Hep C in prison (stupid tattoos!!) - so I prefer unprotected, but we'll be using it. Boo.
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Old 01-25-2015, 12:37 PM
Todd's Queen Todd's Queen is offline
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Originally Posted by luvnmyinmate View Post
I know my man doesn't need to be tested because he is not into sex with other men. He was negative when he went in and he'll be negative when he gets out so no, not using anything.
Thats what I was thinking...so are some of yall saying that your man may have gotten an STD in prison? I don't expect this from my husband so when he comes home we wont need protection
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Old 01-25-2015, 07:10 PM
2014isouryear 2014isouryear is offline
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We're going to have unprotected sex after we get married since that will be our first time. He's in the Feds and has already been tested for AIDS. No my man wouldn't do anything with another man, but he's gotten tattoos therefore yes he needed to be tested because yes dirty needles can be the cause of a disease that none of us want!

OAN: My man pointed out a very manly dude in the visiting room who was caught on the bottom of a reverse cowgirl. He was hugging and kissing his wife who more than likely has no idea that her man is having sex with men.

With that being said there are men in there who are giving yet feel that is ok since they're not receiving it. Just some food for thought.

Last edited by 2014isouryear; 01-25-2015 at 07:12 PM..
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Old 01-25-2015, 07:15 PM
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IrishFire IrishFire is offline
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My man is coming home in 14 days. Last week he sent me his test. HIV negtive.
I was the one with Hep C, was treated and cleared while he was in. We are good to go. ☺
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Old 01-25-2015, 08:04 PM
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Remember, there's more than STDs that can be caught in prison. Be aware of everything because the earlier it's caught, the better.

If he's got tattoos or has done any IV drugs, he needs the full battery of STD testing. If he's had his hands in anybody's blood, he needs testing. You might think nothing of it - grab somebody's arm to stop some bleeding, perform CPR to help an inmate in trouble - whatever - you need to be cautious.

Be aware of MRSA, be aware of TB. Be aware of Hep A and Hep C, even if you've already had it before. Be aware of everything. Shit like gonorrhea, syphallis and the like can be transmitted through bodily fluids outside of sex, and can be resilient little buggers. If he's got something on his toes, make sure it's athlete's foot before you start rolling with him.

If he pissed somebody off, or somebody had a bad day, it's easy for them to wipe their crotch rot onto somebody's towel, or run somebody's toothbrush around their mouth.

It's not a matter of you trusting your man - it's a matter of trusting everybody else in that institution to no fuck with people just because they can. Ever see a gonorrhea eye infection? nasty. But who'd think it was something so easily transmitted?

Here's the thing - if you've been in a situation like prison, you need to get tested and you need a physical to make sure you're not carrying cooties. I get tested regularly not because I'm getting tats or sleeping around, but because I go to prisons. Doctors, nurses, COs, staff - everybody who works in those facilities and in residential hospitals gets tested regularly as part of their job. And that's just a job - we're not talking about somebody you love and care for, and living with them and being intimate. We're just talking a job. You both need to do it for your lives.

Again, it doesn't mean that your man stepped out with somebody else. It just means that he lived for a period of time in a cruddy, nasty ass environment with people who have these diseases and who don't practice good hygiene. It's what you do to take care of yourself and the person you love.

Remember, those of you who want kids - some of this crap will prevent you from having kids whether it was acquired sexually or not. Best to find out about it and treat it early, not when you're wondering why you can't conceive, or have nothing but miscarriages.

Listen, I'm not trying to be a jerk. I'm not trying to say that your man is having sex with other men or that he's shooting up or whatever. I'm just saying that the reality of the situation is that prison is a breeding grounds for a lot of crap, sexual and other. Do not take chances with your health. Do not take chances with your loved ones health.

Upon release, get in, get tested, get a physical. Get that TB test. Make sure it is athlete's foot and treat it. Make sure it's jock itch and treat it. Keep safe, play safe, be safe. You'll have a longer, healthier life together as a result.

Btw, EMTs and trauma surgeons and nurses all regularly test because they are regularly around blood and other bodily fluids. I started testing in the early 90's after having a bleeding problem that resulted in an infusion of clotting factor. Clotting factor is made from the blood of donors. Back in that day and age, the blood supply wasn't clean, and the testing sucked. I went without intimacy for a year because to me, it was much more important to protect my partner than it was to get some. Arthur Ashe died because of tainted blood. Neither of us did anything "bad", stepped out, practiced unprotected sex with group needles or the like. The thing of it is, these diseases do not discriminate.

Stay healthy. Get tested. Get in to see a doctor. The greatest gift you can give your partner is loving them enough to make sure you're not passing on something, whether you stepped out, did something stupid, or were just in the wrong environment.
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Old 01-25-2015, 08:17 PM
2014isouryear 2014isouryear is offline
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Exactly! It's not about trust. It's about making sure that he didn't somehow contract anything while he was in there surrounded by people who have any number of diseases.

The, "I love my man and trust him so I'm not going to make him get tested," mentality may cause you harm.

I trust my man. I love him. I know that my man is 100% straight. He's getting a physical and everything that Yourself has mentioned because we want to be 100% safe. We want to start a family. We're going to do what is in our best interest.

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Old 01-27-2015, 06:29 AM
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Mymrb Mymrb is offline

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I think protection all the way. HIV is for life and sorry to say it but your partner may not be for life as you never know what's around the corner.
You have to take care of yourself first and foremost!
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Old 01-27-2015, 07:03 AM
carlitosway465 carlitosway465 is offline
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Jeez...should barely be a question in 2015 😅
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Old 12-29-2015, 06:09 AM
TashaAndre TashaAndre is offline

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Well we never used protection but since he is getting tested when he comes out once I see negative all across the board it will be without protection because we will both be in our thirties (he 34 me 31) without no children. We are trying to start a family. But we will make sure we are both clear.
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Old 12-29-2015, 03:17 PM
FreeReigns FreeReigns is offline

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I have never had unprotected sex with anyone I wasn't willing to have children with. He and I will be having sex unprotected AFTER he gets a comprehensive std panel. It isn't just because he is in prison-but prison IS a rather grody place.. I would expect it of anyone who wanted to engage in sexual activities with me, as I hope they would expect the same from me. I get tested every 3 months, and he's agreed to do so as well. If you value yourself, value your health enough to to protect AND double check.
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Old 01-24-2016, 12:54 PM
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Jenl75 Jenl75 is offline

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I am going protected all the way. I am 40 and my man is 42. We both have kids by previous partners and at my age I don't want any more because my child is almost gone. I believe in birth xontrol, but also believe it is not 100 percent so not taking any chances. Also he has been in prison off and on all his adult life. He swears he will never go back again, but come on a lot have us have heard that before and been let down
I know my man is straight, but I fear what he could have caught interacting with others around him and I value my life to much to take any chance.
Jennifer and Jonathan
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Old 09-26-2019, 02:53 PM
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NewAttitude NewAttitude is offline
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Almost 24 years with my man. We were young when we met and never used protection. Well we did once but only because I had a rainbow condom from an event I attended. I just wanted to see him in it. Lol

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Old 09-26-2019, 04:00 PM
AnieLove56 AnieLove56 is offline

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So for the first time until both of us are tested, damn right there better be some protection. Otherwise, no glove, lots of love.
You won't see him all over Instagram, or screenshots of conversations, and I don't care if you never know his name. Just know he's there & he's mine.

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Old 09-26-2019, 04:15 PM
Revenwyn Revenwyn is offline
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Doesn't matter. I can't have either.
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Old 09-27-2019, 10:17 AM
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408MoonGem 408MoonGem is offline
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I use to get Jr's blood work every 3 years - with being estranged for a few years, and getting out soon, I asked him to send me his most recent blood work, then for some odd reason, I said "never mind" - he's my husband and I married him because of the trust I have in him, I want him as raw as I can get him - I am not worried about his health or him effecting mine negatively - so I want NO protection with him ever! ((I got my tubes tied, not worried about getting pregnant, shall that happen well then alrighty it would be our miracle child))
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Old 09-29-2019, 02:49 PM
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Originally Posted by Revenwyn View Post
Doesn't matter. I can't have either.
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Old 09-29-2019, 04:20 PM
ChaseJames ChaseJames is offline
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Unprotected, always been a risk taker.
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Old 09-29-2019, 04:25 PM
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We haven't and won't for many years and by that time I won't even have the option to get pregnant so I don't really care as long as I can have him
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