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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

View Poll Results: Proteced or Unprotected
Protected 292 21.77%
Unprotected 1,049 78.23%
Voters: 1341. You may not vote on this poll

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  #426  
Old 04-17-2010, 02:27 PM
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when the time is right to start a family then I'll go un-protected until then it will be protected.
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  #427  
Old 04-19-2010, 07:02 AM
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We have only used protection once. And that's because I had this rainbow condom that I thought would look nice on him. He ended up taking it off after a few minutes though. I trust him and part of trust is me giving myself to him in the fullest. I like giving myself to him in the fullest.... (I think I need a cigarette...LOL).
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  #428  
Old 04-19-2010, 07:19 AM
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Mike I hear you. My mind just went down memory lane for a minute. Damn I miss my man.
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  #429  
Old 04-19-2010, 10:04 PM
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We are married NOW......I don't think we ever used protection and I hope we never do. After the requisite testing when he comes home of course. But honestly, I don't like those things (condoms). They feel weird.
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  #430  
Old 04-21-2010, 12:53 AM
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we dont use protection. we've been trying to conceive (i am) for a year but we havent had any luck.
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  #431  
Old 04-21-2010, 08:35 AM
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My man is my husband so no I don't plan on using protection with him when he comes home I want the raw deal baby. I know all husbands are not faithful but I trust mine.
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  #432  
Old 04-21-2010, 08:44 AM
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I have my tubes tied, but if I werent in a serious commited relationship, I am going to use protection.
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  #433  
Old 04-23-2010, 11:54 AM
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Protection is always the way to go, no amount of love can cure for HIV! Protect yourself at all cost, we as women have enough to worry about with so many types of cancers, why even chance it? That's just my opinion.
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  #434  
Old 04-23-2010, 12:17 PM
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well If Iwould use a condom due to the fact that my husband has been in prison for 8 years now and has about 7 more years to go. in prison you dont know what really goes on and there is always risk. but since my hubby mailed the results for his hiv test to me last month I know he is good for now. cant wait to go on my first trailer visit. is going to be on
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  #435  
Old 04-25-2010, 01:54 PM
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Some of you ladies must didn't watch Oprah when she had 4 ladies on there HIV Positive.

I always Had protected sex. My life is to precious to me and I didn't want any kids. When he comes home until he gets a FULL HIV and STD test and they come back negative then I'll change my mind.


They say oh I didn't F no Guy, I'm not gay WHATEVER i seen to many 'Hardtime and 'Locked UP' Shows to know that even the straightest men get sum male booty haha.

Last edited by MsFierceKitty; 04-25-2010 at 01:57 PM..
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  #436  
Old 04-26-2010, 01:46 PM
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I could see a doctor telling a married couple to use condoms, that's the safest medical thing to do. HIV does not discriminate, boyfriends, husbands, wives and even children are all affected by HIV. Ask anyone positive and they will tell you the same thing, use protection. The Physician's Journal suggest you get tested every six months for 24 months before you would be classified as HIV negative. Life is too precious, wrap it up!
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  #437  
Old 04-26-2010, 02:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tested Love View Post
Which do you prefer?? And why??


For some reason, baby has it stuck in his head that we are no longer using protection when he comes home. Lately, he speaks of going "bare" and I'm like WTH??? The last time I trusted a man on that level...I ended up with a STD. Luckily it was cureable, but I vowed that I would never take myself through that again. It took a toll on me emotionally. I've never mentioned the STD thing to baby, and I'm sort of afraid to because I don't want him to see me in another light.


Does whether you have (un)protected sex with a man or not equate to how much you care for him? If your man expected that from you...what would you do?


How in the world do I handle this????


I hope this isn't taken as me being rude, but if you do not trust him on that level, then why are you with him? I do not think it equates to how much you care for him, I think it equates to how much you trust him however.

I mean, I am assuming you have been together a while. I am also assuming you were with him prior to him being incarcerated. So if you have had a long relationship with this man, why wouldn't you trust him on that level?
I hope I am not being too personal, I really do. I am just trying to understand.

My husband and I have unprotected sex, that will not change when he comes home. If I didn't trust him on that level, protection would be the least of our problems. I am on birth control, have been since before he was locked up, that won't change when he comes home, but there will not be any condoms, that is one of the wonderful things about a monogamous relationship with another person.

Nothing was mentioned about using condoms as a form of birth control, so therefore I am thinking this is purely a choice based on your fear of him giving you an STD. If that is your fear, then perhaps you should ask him to get tested when he comes home. He can get tested, you find out for sure he doesn't have anything, then perhaps you will feel better about having unprotected sex.

Once again, I hope my comments weren't offensive.
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  #438  
Old 04-26-2010, 02:07 PM
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Ha ha ha .... every now and then I don't look at the date of the post .... lol ..... It's been a while, I gotta get back in the swing of things : )
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  #439  
Old 04-26-2010, 07:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xgot420issuesx View Post
I hope this isn't taken as me being rude, but if you do not trust him on that level, then why are you with him? I do not think it equates to how much you care for him, I think it equates to how much you trust him however.

I mean, I am assuming you have been together a while. I am also assuming you were with him prior to him being incarcerated. So if you have had a long relationship with this man, why wouldn't you trust him on that level?
I hope I am not being too personal, I really do. I am just trying to understand.

My husband and I have unprotected sex, that will not change when he comes home. If I didn't trust him on that level, protection would be the least of our problems. I am on birth control, have been since before he was locked up, that won't change when he comes home, but there will not be any condoms, that is one of the wonderful things about a monogamous relationship with another person.

Nothing was mentioned about using condoms as a form of birth control, so therefore I am thinking this is purely a choice based on your fear of him giving you an STD. If that is your fear, then perhaps you should ask him to get tested when he comes home. He can get tested, you find out for sure he doesn't have anything, then perhaps you will feel better about having unprotected sex.

Once again, I hope my comments weren't offensive.

And this kinda logic is the reason why so many WOMAN get HIV. So many woman like you 'oh i loved him, I trust him' well now your HIV positive do you still 'trust' him?

Sorry but I agree with the original poster.
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  #440  
Old 04-27-2010, 02:51 AM
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i prefer unprotected sex due to the fact that i can feel the difference with a condom as well as without. I only have unprotected though when I know that the person is D/D free.

Last edited by abbeylu; 04-27-2010 at 02:54 AM..
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  #441  
Old 04-27-2010, 08:40 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MsFierceKitty View Post
And this kinda logic is the reason why so many WOMAN get HIV. So many woman like you 'oh i loved him, I trust him' well now your HIV positive do you still 'trust' him?

Sorry but I agree with the original poster.
And I respect that you do.
Obviously, if I were to get HIV, no I wouldn't trust him. My husband has been tested, tested and retested, and this isn't something he will not continue to do once he comes home.
My logic is NOT the reason why so many women get HIV. The reason why is because women tend to be too trusting and fall for too much when it comes to men. You can trust a man, but still be observant.
My husband over the years has earned EVERY BIT of trust I have in him, not with meaningless words, but with his actions. I am 38 years old, and this isn't my first train ride, but I will say this, he is the first and only person I would trust with my life, all day every day.
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  #442  
Old 04-28-2010, 06:58 AM
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my husband tested clean for trailers and I can't have any more children so unless we consider each other a risk for contracting an STD there is no reason to use protection. I trust him with my life... and he obviously feels the same about me. No we don't use condoms.
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  #443  
Old 05-13-2010, 10:08 PM
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When our family visits come we will be having protected sex. I have the iud. When he comes home we are both going to the doctor together and getting checked out and then depending on our financial and relationship situation we will continue to use protection. If God chooses to bless us with another child then protection or not we will have another child. I will continue having the iud until we have decided I don't need it in anymore or if we choose that we want to try to have a baby. But, it is a decision that everyone chooses. We already have two kids and definitely am not having one or being pregnant while he is in prison.
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  #444  
Old 05-13-2010, 11:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tested Love View Post
Which do you prefer?? And why??


For some reason, baby has it stuck in his head that we are no longer using protection when he comes home. Lately, he speaks of going "bare" and I'm like WTH??? The last time I trusted a man on that level...I ended up with a STD. Luckily it was cureable, but I vowed that I would never take myself through that again. It took a toll on me emotionally. I've never mentioned the STD thing to baby, and I'm sort of afraid to because I don't want him to see me in another light.


Does whether you have (un)protected sex with a man or not equate to how much you care for him? If your man expected that from you...what would you do?


How in the world do I handle this????
well I think if you're been with your man for a while now I would go unprotected? I think there has to be enough trust and honesty
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  #445  
Old 05-14-2010, 12:27 AM
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unprotected
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  #446  
Old 05-14-2010, 11:12 AM
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U have all raised awareness or lack thereof on this topic. I have known my hubby since we were kids, but we will married almost 8 months and we have never had sex. Ever wonder what its like for the man or woman imprisoned? We are just as likely to give them a disease. Especially the ones who actually have not indulged in any sexual activity since they became incarcerated. Hiv lies dormant in the body unbeknowest to its victime for some 10 years. Folks do you remember who you were sexing 10 years ago? When was the last time you saw him/her? There are ppl who can walk around forever asymptomatic...not showing any outward signs of disease. Humor me for a minute. We always talk about bare penis to vagina sex...ok devils advocate...he has on his condom...what it u have a cut or ingrown hair...aren't his testicles touching the outside or your body. Woman tear all the time. Small cuts u don't see or feel. Let's be real ppl, the only way you are fool proof is not to indulge. Its that simple...but then again I wish you all safety and good health. Dig deeper past the surface. If your very worried, anxious, etc...quite possibly you shouldn't be having sex with that person!
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  #447  
Old 05-15-2010, 11:54 PM
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I aint young & stupid anymore so protection all the time for me.
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  #448  
Old 06-06-2010, 08:48 PM
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I think for sure we'll wait for us both to get tested before going bare, for peace of mind!
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  #449  
Old 06-06-2010, 09:16 PM
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I would personally use a condom when he is home. I think its naive for some women on here to not protect them selves from anything. Maybe if we where married and he got tested then yes. Thats if i wanted to have a child to use unprotected sex but until i have a ring on my finger its protected. I dont care if thats your boyfriend and you love him protect yourselves dont be hella stupid. yall aint married and thats a sin anyways to not be married when you engage in intercourse. Dont bring a child in this world if you aint married. Plus your men is in prison you dont even know if he go do the same shit again. Then you feeling hella dumb. And for the ones that think you his only bitch please protect yourself because he can be sleeping around with other women and you dont know about it. Thinking you the only one oh please. Like i always say men are flitty bastards!
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  #450  
Old 06-08-2010, 01:35 AM
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it depends...if it was with someone i didn't know...then i'm always protected...ALWAYS no ifs ands or buts about it! when it is with my hubby though, then i prefer the feeling of unprotected.
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