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Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgendered People in Prison For anyone that has a same sex partner, family member, friend or Pen Pal in prison that is Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, or Transgendered.

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  #1  
Old 12-29-2010, 07:59 PM
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Default Searches- unhappy my husband was strip searched by a gay CO.

I visited my husband this last weekend and learned something that really upset me. They had an obvious, and self-declared gay guard conducting the strip searches of the inmates coming to and leaving visitation. Now, I don't know about anyone else, but that bothered me as much as it would if a woman conducted a strip search on my husband. My husband was none too happy about it either. He said it made him very uncomfortable. I just do not think that is appropriate. I have nothing against gay men, but if they like men, they sure don't need to be seeing them naked! Put him to work in some other part of the prison.
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Old 12-29-2010, 08:21 PM
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Shame on you. That officer being gay has absolutely nothing to do with his ability to perform his job. Strip searching is a necessary and important part of his job and I'll bet you he finds it just as uncomfortable as your husband does. Find a real issue to be upset about.
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Old 12-29-2010, 08:53 PM
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women CO's do the strip searches too. My husband doesn't like them either but it's an everyday issue and he's learned to do what he's told. I don't think any of them enjoy it, the CO's or the inmates. I hate the thought of my husband being strip searched but it's a way of life for him and I don't even think about it.

Last edited by luvinhim24/7; 12-29-2010 at 08:57 PM..
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Old 12-30-2010, 02:41 AM
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i say get over it because one...if he was so concerned about gay guys he shouldnt have gone to prison for sure, two-the fact that the guard is openly gay does not make him any different from the ones who are still n the closet doing searches too..and three it doesnt mean hes into every guy just because hes gay...youre straight but that doesnt mean every man you see you want...come on ppl its almost 2011
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Old 12-30-2010, 04:20 AM
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i agree with the above posters.live and let live .
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Old 12-30-2010, 05:07 AM
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The fact that there is a gay prison guard in texas...I think its' pretty cool actually.

Everyone should watch the movie Rent, it came out in 2005. It's a very mind opening movie...go rent it.
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Old 12-30-2010, 11:21 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rlwhitmore View Post
I visited my husband this last weekend and learned something that really upset me. They had an obvious, and self-declared gay guard conducting the strip searches of the inmates coming to and leaving visitation. Now, I don't know about anyone else, but that bothered me as much as it would if a woman conducted a strip search on my husband. My husband was none too happy about it either. He said it made him very uncomfortable. I just do not think that is appropriate. I have nothing against gay men, but if they like men, they sure don't need to be seeing them naked! Put him to work in some other part of the prison.

Don't let some of these comments bother you. I feel the same way you do about gay men or women strip searching Jay but I don't feel that gay men (or women) are any less qualified to do their jobs simply because they're gay. Strip searching is an unfortunate aspect of incarceration and we have no control of over who does it or how it's done. I thought this site was a place where one could freely express their opinions/thoughts/concerns without the fear of being judged.
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Old 12-30-2010, 11:45 AM
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I will admit when I first got back with my husband and he was telling what he had to go thru, it did bother me that he got strip searched and that there were women CO's in the pods. One time a long time ago, I went to visit him and I had to wait it seemed like forever and when he finally came out he said that he was taking a shower and that the CO (it was a woman) didn't come get him right away because he was in the shower and I was shocked because I guess at that time I wasn't aware that the female CO's were in the pods (I was very naive and just didn't think about it until he said something) and I was upset about it. He told me it was no big deal, it bothered him when he first went in but he's gotten used to it, it's part of life in there and since it didn't bother him anymore then I just didn't worry about it. He has no control over his life right now and I understand that.
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Old 12-30-2010, 12:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lacey.Brianne View Post
Don't let some of these comments bother you. I feel the same way you do about gay men or women strip searching Jay but I don't feel that gay men (or women) are any less qualified to do their jobs simply because they're gay. Strip searching is an unfortunate aspect of incarceration and we have no control of over who does it or how it's done. I thought this site was a place where one could freely express their opinions/thoughts/concerns without the fear of being judged.
its not about being judgemental its just reality. it does suck they have to be strip searched all the time however its no different than a dr. man or woman chances are you dont know their sexual preference but they see that stuff everyday. im in med school and were taught that its just a penis or vagina. its not like they are checking everyone out just because they see them naked and they are gay. maybe your female dr likes women...
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Old 12-30-2010, 12:50 PM
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from experience i will tell you that in the texas prisons the women out weigh the men co's 4 to 1, by policy there is no gender in prison only grey and white, women only strip search inmates when no male co is readily available. the unit i use to work at would put the male cos in the main areas where an inmate would have to be strip searched due to an inmate filing a grievance of females strip searching men and that it is degrading for most men. female cos were no longer stripping inmates after that.
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Old 12-30-2010, 02:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lacey.Brianne View Post
Don't let some of these comments bother you. I feel the same way you do about gay men or women strip searching Jay but I don't feel that gay men (or women) are any less qualified to do their jobs simply because they're gay. Strip searching is an unfortunate aspect of incarceration and we have no control of over who does it or how it's done. I thought this site was a place where one could freely express their opinions/thoughts/concerns without the fear of being judged.
the comments should bother her.

judging somebody and their ability to do their job based solely on their sexual orientation is just as bad as all of those in the world that judge our loved ones' worth as a human being solely on their criminal conviction.

the op didnt say she had a problem with the search- only that it was carried out by a GAY co. these men are just there to do their job- not to check out your man. contrary to popular belief, gay men arent out to get with every man they come in contact with.

Last edited by britecloud; 12-30-2010 at 02:26 PM..
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Old 12-30-2010, 03:06 PM
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There was a time when these objections would have been made if a person of color did the strip search.Was that right? Of course not.

As said previously, it is 2011--people's job duties are not assigned with reference to their sex, sexual preference, race, religion, etc.

Oh, and the other great point that was made-do you think just because someone is gay he is looking to hook up with everyone? Do heterosexuals feel that way? of course not, again.

Final point, I would think that being assigned to do strip searches is way down on the preference list for assignments in a prison -period. Think about it-yuck.
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Old 12-30-2010, 04:13 PM
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Members just a reminder that although we have the freedom of speech we cant say whatever we want in this community especially if it offends possible members. Please keep in mind the following policies:

Threats, Racism & Sexism:
Threads or replies promoting or expressing intolerant views towards “minorities” (race, religion, sexual preference, interracial couples, etc.) will not be tolerated. Consider this the only warning. Violators will be banned.

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Old 12-30-2010, 04:52 PM
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I still stand by my comments and remember that I was raised to believe....if you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all. People should be free to express themselves however they choose so long as their comments are not hurtful. Although we may disagree, we should not openly bash them for how they feel. What bothers one person may not be a big deal to another.
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Old 12-30-2010, 05:13 PM
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I agree i wld b highly upet if a gay or female co strip search my hubbz.. I mean come on both like guys!! I wanna do the strip search!! Hehe
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Old 12-30-2010, 06:02 PM
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Does anyone really want their loved one strip searched by anyone--gay, straight or female? There is protocol and proceedure for strip searches and pat downs so it shouldn't matter who is doing it. The officers don't enjoy doing these things...I don't know why it's so worriesome. When you first start doing them, it's extremely awkward! I mean, you're running your hands over someone's body that you don't know. After a while you don't think about it and you just do it cause it's part of the job. Strip searches aren't fun either...it's not "oh! Let's watch this guy get naked and then squat and cough!" You want to do them and get it over with. Unless the C/O is trying to grope your guy while it's happening, there shouldn't be a problem.
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Old 12-30-2010, 06:04 PM
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Quote:
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I still stand by my comments and remember that I was raised to believe....if you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all. People should be free to express themselves however they choose so long as their comments are not hurtful. Although we may disagree, we should not openly bash them for how they feel. What bothers one person may not be a big deal to another.

so it's ok for the OP to make hurtful, homophobic comments but it's not OK for the rest of us to call her on it? first off her comments were not only out of line but border-lining against PTO policy and second nobody's calling the OP names they're just saying it's not cool to bash a CO for his sexual orientation.

like many others have said nobody likes the things our loved ones have to endure but the race, sex or sexuality of the CO doesn't make a bit of difference in how they do their job.

Last edited by britecloud; 12-30-2010 at 06:31 PM..
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Old 12-30-2010, 06:18 PM
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It's degrading no matter who does the search. I don't think it bothers my husband who conducts the search, he just doesn't like it at all. I don't know of anyone that would like it.
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Old 12-30-2010, 07:04 PM
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Quote:
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I still stand by my comments and remember that I was raised to believe....if you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all. People should be free to express themselves however they choose so long as their comments are not hurtful. Although we may disagree, we should not openly bash them for how they feel. What bothers one person may not be a big deal to another.
I agree....I posted to say that as a female Reg. Nurse who is er...ugh...booty-licious I've had comments made both to and about me while I worked in the ER doing what I'm both well trained and well paid to do. I understand why wives and girlfriends may view me as a "threat" since after all I'm there with her man while he's partially if not full undressed and I'm doing things that will make him feel not only better but most times GREAT and 9 times out of 10 his own woman is unable to do what I can. I even had a wife complain and ask why male nurse weren't assigned to work with male patients and females with females.
IMO not only is that impossible, impractical and unnecessary it's not even something you should want, demand or even be concerned about. What happens when there are a couple of male nurses available and your son is brought in not breathing minutes after an entire football team's bus has crashed and they are waiting to be treated by the same 2 or 3 male nurses on duty? I have extensive Emergency Room/ Medical Training and I'm very good at what I do. If your husband should suddenly stop breathing, turn blue and begin foaming at the mouth and need CPR and a breathing tube inserted until the Code and Cardiac Team arrives I'm EXACTLY who you want AND HE NEEDS there. I can insert a PICC Line ( Peripherally Inserted Central Catheter) faster than most Nurses MALE or FEMALE can insert a thermometer. I spent 4 years in Nursing School and another 4 years of Advanced Training after becoming a Nurse all of which as a single mother I worked hard and paid for MYSELF. I am a PROFESSIONAL, I don't go to work looking to hook-up and I have never seen a sick or injured man that I felt the urge to mount, kiss or even date. When I'm at work looking at a male body I'm strictly trying my best to figure out how I AS A NURSE can help this man. I would never risk my job, license and reputation doing immoral things on my job. I'd feel this way even if I worked at a Daycare Center, Dry Cleaners or the Post Office.
I certainly don't enjoy the fact that PEOPLE male,female,gay or straight have such intimate contact with my husband but I don't blame them for doing their jobs. I don't judge people based on sexual orientation and I hope others don't either b/c IMO it's not fair....Marcia
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Old 12-30-2010, 08:59 PM
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I have a friend who works as a CO in a prison (I won't say) but there is a could of guys she would like to jump there "guns," not to stir any trouble, but think about it. People are perv's none the less. They don't think professionally, if they did then Senator's wouldn't be caught with hookers, right? I mean they got wives at home, but they are out sizing out other women, but it's okay, it's only professional.
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Old 12-30-2010, 10:31 PM
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The OP has not made homophobic comments, she simply stated she wasnt comfortable with it and didnt think it appropriate. There are many threads on PTO where wives/girlfriends say the same thing about women CO's and I dont see anyone accusing them of discrimination.

Lets not read anymore into this than what was written. The OP hasnt even had a chance to respond and she's being called homophobic. This is obviously a topic that is sensitive and touches a few nerves. Lets stop the bickering or the thread will be closed and accounts suspended.


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so it's ok for the OP to make hurtful, homophobic comments but it's not OK for the rest of us to call her on it? first off her comments were not only out of line but border-lining against PTO policy and second nobody's calling the OP names they're just saying it's not cool to bash a CO for his sexual orientation.

like many others have said nobody likes the things our loved ones have to endure but the race, sex or sexuality of the CO doesn't make a bit of difference in how they do their job.
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Old 12-30-2010, 11:13 PM
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Would like to point out that when we go in to be searched, we take off our clothes and the guard shakes them out and makes sure there's nothing inside them. Then after lifting each foot for them to check underneath, we do bend over and spread and lift and cough. It isn't like we're nekkid and the boss is running hands up and down our bodies. In the beginning I was embarrassed as hell but by the end it was just part of the day and you get used to it pretty quick. So it really doesn't matter if the boss is strait or gay or female or whatever it just is what it is and for your man to complain to you about it and get you all riled up about it just goes to show that he's still pretty green. There's alot more worse stuff to worry about.
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Old 12-31-2010, 11:53 AM
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I am an openly gay male and it still shocks me when I read things like these. I think the main point in this argument is that JUST BECAUSE I'M GAY, IT DOESN'T MEAN I WANT TO SLEEP WITH EVERY MAN I COME IN CONTACT WITH. As it was stated before just because you like men, does that mean that every man attracts you? My second point is that if your husband feels that uncomfortable with being searched by a gay male maybe he has some internal issues that he has to deal with, that have nothing to do with a gay man doing his job. And to conclude I don't feel like anyone is bashing on rlwhitmore at all just like she was entitled to give her opinion we are entitled to give ours. Isn't this what prisontalk is all about? We can disagree but still be civil with each other and still love each other. Well guys have a Happy New Year.
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Old 12-31-2010, 03:50 PM
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Moving this from Texas GPT per Admin.

Any discussions regarding the GLBT issues belong in the GLBT forum.
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Old 01-01-2011, 06:48 AM
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First off, I don't see that the OP was homophobic. The OP was respectful in stating that she did not feel it appropriate that a Gay male strip search her husband. This is her opinion and she is welcome to have it.

This thread is interesting in the sense that this is not about being Gay and having a duty of strip searching men - in my opinion - this is about the OP and her guy not liking who did the stripsearch.

How about all the Prison Guards that are not 'out' that are strip searching your men. You just don't know that they are Gay.

As a Gay man, the LAST JOB I would want in a prison is the strip search duty. I have ABSOLUTELY NO INTEREST in any dude sticking his ass in my face and coughing. Not a pretty picture no matter who you are or what your sexual preference.

I am not saying that there are not perverts in every category of person and preference, but the fact is that just because I am Gay does not mean that I lust after every penis that is put in front of me. Gay men have taste, preference, and most of us have the ability to do a job regardless of our sexual orientation.

Now that this thread is in the GLBT forum, please ignore the previous 'warnings' however please keep this dicsussion within guidelines and lets not let it get discriminitory and/or derogatory. It is a good discussion.
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