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When the Relationship is Over... This forum is about discussing your thoughts, feelings and issues now that you and your incarcerated (or formerly incarcerated) loved one are no longer together. (This forum is NOT for bashing - please read the rules before posting.)

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Old 09-08-2018, 02:43 PM
linh5555 linh5555 is offline
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Default Just broke up: he wants me to post his info on inmate pen pal site.

Hi, I just broke up with my BF and he wants me to post his info on inmate site so he can find someone nice. Should I do it or just not rely to his message? Thank y'all for the help.
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Old 09-08-2018, 03:01 PM
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Hell no don't do it. He's just saying that to get to you anyway. Don't play his childish games.
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Old 09-08-2018, 03:26 PM
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Originally Posted by linh5555 View Post
Hi, I just broke up with my BF and he wants me to post his info on inmate site so he can find someone nice. Should I do it or just not rely to his message? Thank y'all for the help.


I wouldn’t do it because he’ll have to call you to just into the site and give him results. If you’re broken up for good let him go. I’m sure his inmate buddies know how he can find someone “nice”
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Old 09-08-2018, 04:06 PM
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You have broken up so its time for you to move on. Why on earth have you got to help him find someone else. If you broke up with a guy in the free world would you place a dating ad for him?
He is playing games, ignore him and move on.
All the best to you.
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Old 09-08-2018, 04:21 PM
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Thank y'all that's how I felt too. Especially knowing that I was supposed to be the love of his life that he would even ask me to do that is beyond belief. It's his insecurity that has made me leave him. I guess also the distance and him being incarcerated I just couldn't take anymore. but I felt like that it was an insult for me to ask him to be ass to post his stuff when I was supposed to be the love of his life the person he wanted to spend eternity with.
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Old 09-08-2018, 04:35 PM
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Well he has shown you that he can be a jerk , so put him behind you , let him do his own ad posting. There are better things in store for you. Sometimes we have to end something to make room for something much better.
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Old 09-08-2018, 08:17 PM
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Yeah.. no. My ex recently asked me if I would be able to make copies of a photo and send them to his son if he were to have one taken inside. As if he were incapable of sending the original to his son directly.

He asked you to do this for him to keep you hooked. He's being an ass.
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Old 09-08-2018, 09:04 PM
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I feel like he only asked you to do that to be a dick and if I was you I wouldn’t do it and I wouldn’t respond. The petty side of me would want to post him just to show him how much I don’t care lol
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Old 09-08-2018, 09:33 PM
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I doubt he’s doing it to keep you hooked... he just wants a free pen pal ad. Most of them cost the inmate money.

Either way I’d say hell no. If you had a boyfriend out here and broke up, would you set him with a Tinder profile?
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Old 09-09-2018, 12:13 PM
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Well I got a message from him on Jpay and like I knew he blamed everything on me but that's his narcissistic way. He proceeded to tell me how before he started writing me how he had this and he had that and now he has nothing. but it doesn't take into consideration all that I've done for him in the last year-and-a-half. How I made sure that he had money on his books how he had money for stamps and how I sent packages every quarter. But I'm the one that took everything away from him well I guess I did because I won't be sending him nothing no more and that's the only reason why he wants me to put his profile on some site so he can find somebody else to support him for the next four years. Because how I see it is if he loved me as much as he claimed there's no way he would ask me to do that for him. He's also pissed off because I blocked his number but the bad thing is about blocking a number from a jail is messages are still left on my phone every time he calls. So I need to do something else because he calls at least 15 times a day and I can't take it anymore.
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Old 09-09-2018, 12:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by linh5555 View Post
Hi, I just broke up with my BF and he wants me to post his info on inmate site so he can find someone nice. Should I do it or just not rely to his message? Thank y'all for the help.
The funny ideas they sometimes get... No. Hell no!
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Old 09-09-2018, 01:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by linh5555 View Post
Well I got a message from him on Jpay and like I knew he blamed everything on me but that's his narcissistic way. He proceeded to tell me how before he started writing me how he had this and he had that and now he has nothing. but it doesn't take into consideration all that I've done for him in the last year-and-a-half. How I made sure that he had money on his books how he had money for stamps and how I sent packages every quarter. But I'm the one that took everything away from him well I guess I did because I won't be sending him nothing no more and that's the only reason why he wants me to put his profile on some site so he can find somebody else to support him for the next four years. Because how I see it is if he loved me as much as he claimed there's no way he would ask me to do that for him. He's also pissed off because I blocked his number but the bad thing is about blocking a number from a jail is messages are still left on my phone every time he calls. So I need to do something else because he calls at least 15 times a day and I can't take it anymore.
Hi there ,I am sorry to hear you are going through this. Is it possible to change your number or ask the jail to put you on a no contact list.
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Old 09-09-2018, 02:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by linh5555 View Post
Well I got a message from him on Jpay and like I knew he blamed everything on me but that's his narcissistic way. He proceeded to tell me how before he started writing me how he had this and he had that and now he has nothing. but it doesn't take into consideration all that I've done for him in the last year-and-a-half. How I made sure that he had money on his books how he had money for stamps and how I sent packages every quarter. But I'm the one that took everything away from him well I guess I did because I won't be sending him nothing no more and that's the only reason why he wants me to put his profile on some site so he can find somebody else to support him for the next four years. Because how I see it is if he loved me as much as he claimed there's no way he would ask me to do that for him. He's also pissed off because I blocked his number but the bad thing is about blocking a number from a jail is messages are still left on my phone every time he calls. So I need to do something else because he calls at least 15 times a day and I can't take it anymore.

Call the jail and tell them you want no contact from him. Put your name on negative correspondence. Call Jpay and find out the protocol for his harassing you. They must have some protocols in place for this kind of situation, this is what they do, and allowing them to be used to facilitate harassment would not go well with FCC.
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Old 09-09-2018, 07:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by linh5555 View Post
Hi, I just broke up with my BF and he wants me to post his info on inmate site so he can find someone nice. Should I do it or just not rely to his message? Thank y'all for the help.

hi chica, hola. good evening. i sure would be feelin' quite offended,(this never at anytime happen to me, but IF it did, i would feel so odd about him asking me and offended then i would keep it movin' without such a guy in my life living happy.


IMHO
:>You're being shown your guy's true colors, or your EX... What' nerve. Even if he is just trying to "see what you're going to say or to IRK your last nerve...
You're giving him a long year smh or lil longer right? Not worth it. He sure as hell did NOT truly love and or IN love with you, chica, if he can flat-out ask you for help in profile inmate pen pal ad.
Narc for sure. He IMHO is definitely one.

MOVE ON. Don't wait. NWI.(not worth it)
-

That's, the same as a guy who i.e., put his girl, ex woman, in his life thru SO MUCH pain extreme agony and disrespect her, then say, Well, let's be friends anyway,
yea bebe let's be friends, even though i walked out on ya, forgot everything you're telling me, and things i told you and committed to you, and emotionally and or
physically mentally abused,you, brought you nothing but false promeso(promises)and dogged you out, treated you like sh---t, NO RESPECT, NO "real" loyalty
then i left you hangin' like you are nothing of importance to me etc., let's be "friends..."

Hence,

I would say NO,if i was you, but either way, make the RIGHT decision for you. adios. hugs blessings..."
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Last edited by a.rare.love; 09-09-2018 at 07:10 PM..
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Old 09-09-2018, 07:37 PM
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Let him go.

Call the jail if he is harassing you. They will put a stop to it one way or another. You owe him nothing. Move on with your life.
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Old 09-09-2018, 08:40 PM
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I agree with all of these people. He is now harassing you, manipulating you, and making sure you can’t forget about him. Read up on narcissistic personality disorder because that’s what he sound like he has. Dealing with someone that treats you that way can destroy your self esteem.

After having been in your position in a relationship like this and REPEATEDLY being sucked back in over a number of years, I can tell you that the best thing for me was to cut off all contact and get rid of anything that reminded me of him. He continued to suck me back in for years before I got strong and got him out of my life.

You deserve better. Don’t ever allow anyone to use you. Take back your life.

YOU’ve got this.
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Old 09-09-2018, 10:50 PM
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Honestly, if I was the one who dumped him for the reason that he is insecure, I probably would post an ad for him. It would ease my guilt and I'd want him to find someone nice. But if I dumped him for more reasons than just insecurity (like if he is a mean person), then I wouldn't make him an ad.
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Old 09-10-2018, 03:47 AM
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I'd be laughing my ass off if someone who I used to be with asked me to post an ad for them!!!
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Old 09-10-2018, 07:00 AM
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He has a nerve wanting you to post a profile.
I never understand people like him, who when its over, still keep contactjng the other person only to tell them how bad they were and how much better off they will be without them. For me, once its over, its over.
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Old 09-10-2018, 12:23 PM
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In your case OP I would not even read his messages anymore - I would contact the prison and ask their help in stopping him from contacting you. He showed you his true colors long before your breakup.

Generally for myself, I've parted ways with my exes amicably in most cases - so if I had "a friendly ex" in prison I wouldn't mind helping them out by posting an ad for them.
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Old 09-10-2018, 08:36 PM
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It sounds like a tit for tat situation. Regardless, it is not a healthy one. Cut your loss, block him from calling completely, and move on.
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