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Met While Incarcerated Were you introduced by a friend or family member after he/she was incarcerated? Did you meet as Pen Pals? This Forum is for you!

View Poll Results: Do you give your MWI as much phsical attention as possible durning visits?
YES, holding hands, sneaking kisses, whatever we can get away with 90 77.59%
No I am too scared to touch him/her or I don't like PDA(public display of affection) 2 1.72%
Only at the beginning and ending at each visit, but I give him/her something to remember 11 9.48%
Just a small hug and kiss at the beginning and end of each visit and some hand holding 13 11.21%
Voters: 116. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
Old 04-01-2011, 11:56 AM
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Default Physical touching during visits ~MWI

I've been buring PTO up lately, last week was my Spring break and this week I've been sick and missed alot of work, my TV is out so while I'm awake I just stay in the bed and play on the laptop, which for some reason I can't type at all on.
Anyways, I have noticed at vistiations with my MWI that we do tend to act differently than the ones around us. (some around us are MWIs and I know becuse my mwi knows how some of them have met) Some you know they knew before cuz they have children togeghter. But we seem to act very differently together but just in the way that he is always wanting to touch me, hold my hand, put his arm around me whenever he can, sneaking kisses, playing with my leg, playing with my hair, you see there is no CO in the visitation room, but there are cameras that are montoried. But it seems like others are much more laxed, you know squared up at the table and no holding hands they are hardly touching at all. I've also read on here about how many MWIs first visits go and seems as if there are alot of physical touching or kissing whatever going on. I've also noticed more touching from others in the visitation room who are MWI maybe not as much as me and mine, but still more. So do you think MWIS are more likey to show physical emotion and/or attraction and why or why not?
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Old 04-01-2011, 01:16 PM
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I voted the one that best describes us. Where Ray is there are CO's in the visit room, so we have to be very careful. While we sometimes (rarely anymore) play games while we vist, most of the time we just talk, talk and talk some more. We have been doing this for 17 years. I do see what you are talking about tho. You can usually tell who is MWI and who isn't.

As for us, we can only kiss when arriving and when leaving. We can hold hands, I get to play with his hair now and again, and we tend to have some kind of physical contact at all times..............it is just naturual to us. People have actually commented on how close we are, meaning that we talk with our heads close together, we laugh a LOT, we are constantly touching. They swear we can't have known each other for 17 years, we act like newlyweds! Someday we might actually be newlyweds!

I wish wwe could steal kisses, but it would get our visits taken away, so we don't chance it.
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Old 04-01-2011, 04:42 PM
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Yes, we sneak all of the physical contact we possibly can! We always have been the touchy feely type of couple since we've meet though. We constantly hold hands, we touch each others hair, scratch backs, rub legs, hug, and kiss. It can be scary when a guard knocks on your table and says to put some space between yourselves and even more so when they say the camera room called and you need to back away from each other. Now that it's close to him coming home, I do tend to not want to take the chance as much though. I'd rather have him here all of the time than worry about sneaking a few touches or kisses. I'm just glad that the unit he's in seem kind of lenient on physical contact during visits.
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Old 04-01-2011, 05:51 PM
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I chose the first option and I am MBI. We have a child together. He show a lot of affection whenever possible.
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Old 04-01-2011, 09:33 PM
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I think it goes many ways. A lot of times you can get in very much trouble for this. Maybe many come from other places and the rules where strickt so they choose to stay on the following the rules basis. I know that I do. I have visited a lot of places and sometimes i am no longer willing to risk loosing the visit so i think that may have a lot to do with it. I think we would all love to just reach over and touch each other but at the same time we can loose it all with just a simple hair swipe. Mwi or mbi no matter what your relationship is.
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Old 04-01-2011, 10:56 PM
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We were very affectionate during our visit. Pretty much the only time we weren't holding hands was when I went to get stuff from the vending machine, or when we played a game (i.e. Scrabble). When we had our pix taken, as you can see from them, we were very close, holding one another, and yes, steal a few kisses then. The thing we noticed at our visit was that we were the only ones that seemed to be laughing or smiling. I know prison is not a fun place to be....but we were just so happy to be with one another, and so we had fun, joking around, goofing off, etc.
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Old 04-02-2011, 01:08 AM
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I couldn't do the poll because we haven't had a contact visit yet. We re both looking forward to it though. I just want to hug him. Holding his hand during the visit would add that extra layer of closeness, an us against them feeling almost. If we do move to another level then i hope we get to kiss and all and not be banned.
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  #8  
Old 04-02-2011, 03:36 AM
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Right now my love and I live in different states so I don't get to see him nearly as often as I'd like to. When I do get to see him, yes, we show as much affection as possible. I think we've only been warned twice in the three years in which I've visited with him. Once he dared to kiss the top of my hand, and some cocky CO whom every person in the room complained about stuck her face entirely too close to my love and told him, "No kissing her hand, Romeo". And I think there was only one other time when one of the CO's barked at us because he thought our good-bye kiss wasn't brief enough. Even then one of the other CO's looked at him and said, "Dude - that was like, five seconds. Decaf, okay? Sheesh".

Picture time...that's when my love and I have always been able to show a little more affection without getting in trouble. Last time I saw my love was on his birthday, and there was a cute little wooden bench that we could sit on to have pictures taken. So my love and I sat on that wooden bench and he casually put his arm around me and I rested my head on his shoulder. We've been together for three years and that was the first time I've ever been able to sit right next to my love and cuddle up to him, if only for a moment or two. The camera guy kept fiddling with the camera...it was obvious that he was trying to give my love and I a few extra seconds. And the CO's didn't pay us any mind. They were playing Uno. So for two or three minutes I had the chance to snuggle up to the man I love...best feeling in the world. And yes, well worth the risk.
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  #9  
Old 04-02-2011, 07:08 AM
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In the beginning of visits, me & my fiance were doing a lot of physical contact. It was like that a few times. COs would hint to us & remind us about their rules & then we sometimes cut it down a lil. We always hold hands, sneak kisses a lot wen they don't look, we avoid trying to stand near the restricted areas, & we constantly try to make it seem like we're not hiding n-e-thing in full view of the cameras. After awhile I kinda got use to their 'rules' w/ out em having to say much to us about wat were doing.

My man use to believe that we were the 1s that would show alotta affection display cuz we wen we looked @ everybody else, they seem too afraid to do so. I don't think it's so much whether the couples are MWI or not. Every couple r different & it only depends on the individual alone if they wanna show physical emotion or not. In general, I believe if ur love continues to be strong no matter how long u been together, u'll always display public affection. My man has never been that way w/ his other ex gfs cuz he has never felt this kind of connection & bond w/ somebody. I notice some couples hardly show much affection @ all. My parents r from a totally old different time period & i never seen em show public affection @ all. I'm sure it depends on the culture that people r from also.
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Old 04-02-2011, 09:07 AM
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My baby tells me all the time I read too much into stuff and this is probably one of them it is just something I have noticed at visits. And I haven't had many only 3. So definately not a longer timer or anythintg. When we vist a CO always comes over the intercom system and tells everyone to square up at the tables. We know it is directed toward us. The last time I told him it made me feel really bad cuz there was a family there with small kids and they were all gathered around the play area and he was playing with his kids and because my guy and I were just too close together that they made that announcemgent, probably felt they couldn't say anything to one and not the other. I told him I would never do that again, because I did really feel bad for the family. And you just knew it was for us, just that feeling you know. Anyways hope to not have offended anyone who is MBI I was just curious and sick and bored. Thanks!
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Old 04-10-2011, 10:21 AM
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Now that we can't even do non-contact visits until he mails and I return the darn paper I just want to touch his hand even. That seems so heavenly.
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Old 04-10-2011, 07:28 PM
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my honey and i are always holding hands, he opens the door, he pulls the chair for me, he opens my juice, he make my food, we def get in all the kisses we can, and i also see the same thing too when i go and i also know who mwi too but i dont even see them affectionist towards each other then again i really dont pay to much in to that , i'm also there every weekend ..as to not being an mwi, i could kinda see why they arent that affectionist perhaps they are mad bc they feel abandon, left alone, left to raise the kids on there own, different stress level then us that we choose this, while they didnt choose to be in this predicament.
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Old 04-10-2011, 09:12 PM
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my husband and I are both very affectionate people in general so I voted yes, to all the PDA we can get away with without going "there".
He has even had guys who are in the vr with us make comments to him when they get back to the dorm that he "goes hard" and my hubby is like: Hell to the yeah I rarely get to see my wife I want to take advantage of every touch...
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Old 04-10-2011, 10:13 PM
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We just had our first visit in Feb. All I will say is it was pretty X-rated. The guards were pretty laid back and on the first day the guard that was watching everybody fell asleep lol. Other times the phone rings in the kitchen and they go and answer it and are gone for some time out of view that's when we sneak kisses and touches in "private" areas. Not to mention when they go and let other peope out of the door and stand out there for a while.
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Old 04-11-2011, 11:11 AM
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I see mine every other week and we are very, very touchy/feely. We are so close together that we see nothing or no one except each other. Everything fades into the back ground. Mind you, we have always been that way. We never went anywhere without holding hands or his arm around me. Even sitting in the car he was always driving with one hand I can't wait to experience that again! LOL
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Old 04-11-2011, 12:02 PM
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Well I have visited my MWI twice, just recently; And It was the first time I met him/seen him/heard his voice. (I have been writing him for 2yrs.)And even though that was the first time, I was very comfortable and we held hands, kissed, he had his hand on my leg, and his arm around me. He even got in trouble with the CO, and this second time i visited the same thing, we sneaked kisses, held hands everything! But i did notice some other couples, who had a lot more "FACETIME" going on. LOL I was kind of jealous, but at the same time I could not do the same. Too many people around, plus I wouldn't want my visit to get terminated early.
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Old 04-11-2011, 02:23 PM
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No wonder people get excited about this because they make you wait so long to see them or talk to them once they hit reception. I will be giving a kiss because I will be so happy to see this guy!
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Old 04-11-2011, 05:59 PM
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We went off the "vibe" of the CO in the visiting room. One day the guy was young and laid back (more touching and kissing) another day we had Grummpy McGrumpster (I was like, don't do anything to give this guy a reason to end the visit. He looked like he was working just a few more months away from retirement). The other 2 days were kinda' neutral as far as the CO's, moderate kissing/touching. All days nothing that was in violation of the rules occurred. I spent way to much $$ to go to get banned or a visit cut short.
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Old 04-11-2011, 10:56 PM
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I like that your counting down until your next visit. I guess that's a good way to break it up. I may change my ticker when I know the appeal info.


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We went off the "vibe" of the CO in the visiting room. One day the guy was young and laid back (more touching and kissing) another day we had Grummpy McGrumpster (I was like, don't do anything to give this guy a reason to end the visit. He looked like he was working just a few more months away from retirement). The other 2 days were kinda' neutral as far as the CO's, moderate kissing/touching. All days nothing that was in violation of the rules occurred. I spent way to much $$ to go to get banned or a visit cut short.
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Old 04-12-2011, 10:48 AM
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Where James is at now, they are very strict. 3 COs walk the visiting yard at all times, but when he was in Mobile, they had cameras, but we always seemed to be sitting under the camera, meaning that they could not see our table. We got away with alot there, here they told him not to be kissing or hugging me so much. I do not want to get him into trouble, so I hope I can keep my hands to myself...lol!!!!
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Old 04-12-2011, 05:57 PM
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What is allowed besides one brief kiss and hug at the beginning and end of a visit is hold hands. But, we are able to do a little more within the parameters of being decent; hold hands, caress arms, sit knee to knee and touch each other's legs, sneak a smooch in here and there. When we are walking to the vending machines or wherever, we can have arms around each other's waist, I'll rub his back. When my son was visiting, I was sitting more side by side with him and I massaged his neck. Like I said, it's all clean and appropriate affection, yet very nice between the two of us. Once they had totally different CO's in the visiting room and they just turned a blind eye. There were no kids and couples around us were more frisky that day...everyone knew this was an opportunity that rarely comes around....so ummm, when in Rome We still talk about it to this day, lol!
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Old 04-13-2011, 08:59 AM
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Yummy! I love holding hands. So sweet and romantic.

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What is allowed besides one brief kiss and hug at the beginning and end of a visit is hold hands. But, we are able to do a little more within the parameters of being decent; hold hands, caress arms, sit knee to knee and touch each other's legs, sneak a smooch in here and there. When we are walking to the vending machines or wherever, we can have arms around each other's waist, I'll rub his back. When my son was visiting, I was sitting more side by side with him and I massaged his neck. Like I said, it's all clean and appropriate affection, yet very nice between the two of us. Once they had totally different CO's in the visiting room and they just turned a blind eye. There were no kids and couples around us were more frisky that day...everyone knew this was an opportunity that rarely comes around....so ummm, when in Rome We still talk about it to this day, lol!
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Old 04-14-2011, 05:37 PM
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Yummy! I love holding hands. So sweet and romantic.

I love it when he has to like let go of my hand to open a drink or light a cigarette but immediately grabs it back like he can't stand not holding my hand...makes my heart melt!!!
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Old 04-15-2011, 03:40 PM
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I wish i could touch... We see each other thur a glass for the past 8 months but 4 mo and we can touch all we want!!! Lol
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Old 09-15-2017, 06:58 AM
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KInda off topic since prob not MWI, but this older Indian guy that I did time with got in trouble for getting a hand job at a visit. At first I didn't believe it cause it was just another inmate threatening him that the guys wife saw his penis out in the visiting room. And i was like no way this old man is doing that and besides he would get caught. Well sure enough another month or two goes by and he gets in trouble and is put in the hole for the same thing. Funny thing was this guy acted all straight laced and what not well I went to visits sometimes too and he would be in there with diff women not his wife. I was kinda floored for real cause this the same guy tells us he never ever drank alcohol or anything.

On a side note I did have a cell mate at another facility that claimed he somehow accomplished the same thing with his gf in visiting room. But I don't see how as that place was a lot more strict.
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