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Now That Your Loved One Is Home... Please share stories about your loved one now they are home.

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  #1  
Old 10-11-2006, 02:13 PM
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Default He Came Home & Ended It

Well, my man Keith came home on September 22nd (sorry for not posting sooner). And everything was good at first. Then he started getting jealous if any guy friends (mostly co-workers) called me. He would always want to talk to them & have me put them on speakerphone so he could listen in on the conversations too. After a few days of this we both agreed that he needed some space to help adjust & he wanted to live on his own (which I was ok with cuz i knew it would boost him up & get him back where he needed to be all the while having the freedom of doing it on his own). Well, I got arrestted last week on a little charge (a couple of checks bounced cuz i had been spending him money in pison) & wasn't able to contact anyone cuz no one (even him) were able to accept collect calls. My lawyer even refused my collect calls. So after almost 48 hours & not knowing $%*&, I called one of my guy friends to see if he'd be able to accept the calls & so that he could be my go-between when it came to my mother & lawyer. Well, he does this & even tells my mother not to worry about paying any bond cuz he'll front the money (i didn't ask him for that but he always knew that she's on a very tight budget). Anyways, my man calls her to find out what's going on & she tells him & mentions what the guy friend said. That sets my man completely off ( ) and he accuses me of lying & calling the guy first and decides that it's over between us. I didn't know any of this until yesterday when I got out on a PR bond. But with what he said to me, he really means it & it's not something that he'll change his mind over next week. I just can't believe he's this petty to give up everything that we've gone thru in the past almost 2 years cuz of this BS or maybe he's just using it as an excuse to get rid of me now that he doesn't need a prison B!@# any more. So now my usernmae really does fit me more than it used to.
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we're kissing each week away til my cowboy rides home
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I'm here hold on to me
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  #2  
Old 10-11-2006, 02:33 PM
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im so sorry to hear this......ive spoken to u a few times in chat and i know how excited u was for him to be coming home.....i really hate that this has happened to another person!!!!!
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  #3  
Old 10-11-2006, 02:37 PM
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I'm so sorry to hear this I know how it feels when your love comes home then leaves, I don't wish it upon anyone

(((HUGS)))
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  #4  
Old 10-11-2006, 06:13 PM
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I am sorry to hear about you and your man breaking but maybe things will work themselves out and you two can work it out
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  #5  
Old 10-11-2006, 09:34 PM
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He didn't wonder or worry what happened to you when he didn't know where you were for 48 hours? My husband would be happy that someone I knew was willing to help me out. I wish you the best in luck. Hope things go better for you.
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  #6  
Old 10-12-2006, 07:18 AM
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I'm so sorry to hear about what you are going through.

My b/f was very jealous too when he first got home. I work in a medical practice where most of the doctors are in their early 50's and he was jealous of me riding somewhere with one of them or mentioning something funny one of them said to me. He even went so far as to accuse me of wanting to go out with my sister's ex-husband after I mentioned that I had talked to him for a few minutes while droppping my nephew off at his house. My guy KNOWS that there is no love lost between me and that man. It was so frustrating!

It was all just his insecurity. He got better with time and with some help from a counselor the local mental health center. I just kept reassuring him and sometimes yelling at him. He was locked up for a year, but prison really does a number on people.

So maybe your guy just needs time to come around, and if that's what you still want then I wish you all the best.
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  #7  
Old 10-12-2006, 09:39 AM
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Anyone who wouldn't have worried about you for 48 hours, or contacted your momma, or done any looking for you, well, he's really too wrapped up in himself to be any good for you. Now, it's possible that it will change over time, as he readjusts, but you can't know that for now. So, he's done what he wanted to do for himself. What about you - he allowed you to get into a position of caring for him more than for yourself (sending him money you couldn't afford) then freaks out over normal human contact - do you really need this in your life? It might be good to realize that this empty space that has just appeared in your life is there so the right guy can have a chance to fill it!
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  #8  
Old 10-12-2006, 03:32 PM
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Sorry to hear of the turn of events.

Wishing the best for you.
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  #9  
Old 10-12-2006, 04:41 PM
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honestly am soory but you so didnt need that bs in your life as it looks to me that he was just holding you he doesnt believe then he doesnt deserve you theirs somone out thier that does my best wishes
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  #10  
Old 10-13-2006, 06:38 AM
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YES IM RIGHT ALONG WITH VALENTINE - I KNOW YOU WERE EXCITED ABOUT HIM COMING HOME.

I MEAN DIDN'T HE WONDER ABOUT THAT TIME YOU WERE GONE???

I AM SO VERY VERY SORRY THIS HAPPENED TO YOU. BUT BY THE SOUNDS OF IT, I THINK YOUR BETTER OFF WITHOUT HIM.

FIND SOMEONE WHO APPRECIATES YOU.

TAKE CARE.
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  #11  
Old 10-14-2006, 05:28 AM
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I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this. I wish you all the best in all you do. Please remember that every rough time we go through has the potential to teach us about ourselves. Not that we desire bad times but life sure throws them at us and I believe that in time no matter where you are or what you are doing you will reflect on this time and have come to an understanding why it has happened in your life.

Many Happy Tomorrows,
Patty
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  #12  
Old 10-15-2006, 03:34 PM
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I am sorry... good luck! Focus on you, hun!

Jess
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  #13  
Old 10-15-2006, 03:39 PM
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To me, it really does just sound like an excuse so I would just give it some time and see what happens. Try not to worry about it too much. I'm sorry you're going through this but it'll get better.
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  #14  
Old 10-15-2006, 03:46 PM
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I am sorry about that. I would be so mad but, just give it some time. Maybe things will work theirself out. Good luck sweetie!
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  #15  
Old 10-15-2006, 03:53 PM
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I AM SORR THAT YOU ARE GOING THRU SOME HARD TIME I REALLY WISH YOU THE BEST BUT DONT LET HIM GET YOU DOWN YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT AND HE WILL LOOK FOR YOU JUST MAKE SURE THAT IF HE GOES BACK IN YOU THINK ABOUT GOING BACK WITH HIM CAUSE YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT GOOD LUCK
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  #16  
Old 10-15-2006, 05:52 PM
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Oh VA, such a sad thing to endure. All I can say is time truly does heal "most" wounds, and it will always make the sting less painfull as time passes. Maybe he needed an easy out, or maybe he is doing you a favor. Don't feel bad you did your best for him, and stood by him, don't blame yourself. You did NOTHING wrong. You gave him most of all loyalty and friendship, and now he is not returning the favor, think about that. Try not to dwell too much, there is always something positive in every experience.
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  #17  
Old 10-21-2006, 12:10 PM
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Default An Update

Ok, a few days later he called up & apologized for the way he's been acting. He says that it's hard for him to be in a full-on relationship right now with him trying to get his life back together and trying to adjust to everything out here again. So now it's back to us mainly just talking on the phone while he's staying at his mom's and I'm staying at mine. He says that he wants to "just be friends" for now & build from there. But from what he's told me about his definition of "just friends", it sounds alot more like dating (I've asked friends to confirm this). He says he wants us to talk on the phone during the week & have me come out to see him on the weekends & share the same bedroom. Does that sound like dating to you? Since I do know that we've still got things to work on/out so I told me everything else sounded fine - but no sex . He was upset but didn't want me to know about it. So now it's more of a day to day work-in-progress and hopefully one day we will be back to being the same loving couple we were before he went in.

Thanks for all the support & advice from everyone. I've realized that it's gonna take alot longer than I thought for him to completely transition.
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we're kissing each week away til my cowboy rides home
"please stay until I'm gone
I'm here hold on to me
I'm right here waiting"
- Blink 182
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