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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

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  #1  
Old 05-05-2005, 07:20 PM
rebekah rebekah is offline
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Default were you his CO, PO, court clerk, sheriff clerk, etc ?????

oh no !!!!! its my first thread.
just curious how many of you met your man thru your job ?? i was a court clerk, i started in march of 1998 and he was arrested in march of 1998. i remember seeing him on the local news when they were looking for him, he was my first "arraignment" he ended up being in my "case load" it wasn't his looks that captivated me, he was too clean cut looking for me, i usually like scruffy hippie looking guys. but as paperwork started coming in on him, and he was writing to the local papers seeking support in his effort to start a inmate self improvement program at the local jail, the fact that he made no excuses for his actions, that he was taking responsibility for them, i was just so impressed, so i decided to anyomously write him, i even rented a PO box, just in case, it was the best decision that i have ever made in my life. i even was the one that typed his prison abstract, my name is on the official paperwork that sent him to prison, i figured someone had to do it, and it might as well be someone who actually cared about him. i am just curious as to how often a relationship is started this way. and how has it been for you since he has been released? is it everything that you thought it would be? is he the person that you were lead to believe he was? My love comes home in october, i am so excited to "begin" this relationship that was started 7 years ago. thanks for any stories you have to give. some times i feel like i am the only girl in the world who fell for a guy in this way.
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  #2  
Old 05-05-2005, 07:32 PM
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lanangregs lanangregs is offline
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Wow I didnt meet my man that way but this is going to be an interesting thread
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Old 05-05-2005, 07:35 PM
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I was his C.O. Took a great risk to talk to me and give me a picture and poems that he wrote. Wasn't sure how to react at first. Gorgeous, so I was curious. Went from there. That was 11 years ago. God, but I love that man.

Lisa
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Old 05-05-2005, 07:44 PM
haswtch haswtch is offline
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I was/am a reporter, and started out covering a manhunt and a strange story. He turned my whole little world inside out, and now I know how love really feels, the kind you're supposed to have. Odd fallin for a felon so publicly. I mean EVERYBODY knows our story by now. I could not be prouder of him.
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Old 05-05-2005, 08:06 PM
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I was a nurse who worked in the facility he was at, that was one year ago. He comes home in less thatn a year and I can't wait. I agree haswtch with your comment about how you know how love really feels, the kind your supposed to have. As what we have is completely based on faith, trust and a mutual respect for one another.
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Old 05-05-2005, 08:13 PM
phillip'swoman phillip'swoman is offline
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I met my man when I was his CO, now I am fighting a battle just to get to see him. He
was sent to another prison 4 hours away. The first weekend he was there I was approved, as well as my son. We got the the facility just to be told no you can not go in. I carried his mother down to see him also. We stayed all weekend, my son went in with his mother the next day, while I sat in the car and waited. I was very upset. I was told I had to be approved in Atlanta. Course, I cannot get anyone to talk to me. I have made many phone calls, letters, sent e-mails, and spoke to the state representative. Nothing. I just got an e-mail telling me is was discrimination, and not legal for them to treat us this way. I have also tried to talk to many lawyers, but still have no luck. I am praying that this to shall pass very soon. I fell in love with him extrememely fast it is scarey. His mother is great and is very encouraging to me. She has had congested heart failure and many other issues and is unable to drive long distance so I am always willing to help her any way I can. The hardest part is we live about 2 1/2 hours from each other as well. So going to see him, I have to drive about 7 hours. But, I don't mind if I could only get through the gate. He is so wonderful and I am so crazy about him and only want the best for him/us!!! His mother has mentioned to me several times that she only wants to know that someone cares about him and will go see him if she was to die. It breaks my heart that the DOC is so cold hearted. Where has all the Christian love gone? Thanks for listening.
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Old 05-05-2005, 08:30 PM
JasonsLady2018 JasonsLady2018 is offline
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I too worked at the facility he was incarcerated at as a nurse. He was going to court for a bond hearing and had asked for my phone number because he wanted to get to take me out to dinner and a movie to get to know me better. At first I was against it, but he was so cute I couldn't resist. I gave in and gave him my number. He was not granted a bond, but we continued to communicate.

Since that time, I have met his family..mom, grandmother, kids, etc....We have fallen completely in love. His family thinks the world of me. He since has been transferred to another facility which has allowed us the opportunity to openly visit.

His mother gained custody of his 11 month old son about 4 months ago. I get his son when I am off and I keep him from 2-3 days at a time. I have completely fell in love with him too.

The day his mom called me and told me she had something to tell me, was the day that changed me forever. She said he told her I was the one. We have gotten engaged and plan to marry when he is released.

We have both come to believe that we were brought together for a reason. He finds great strength in me. And says he thought he had been in love before, but he now knows he never has because he has never had the feelings in his heart that he feels for me.

A couple of his family members have pulled me to the side and told me he really loves me and they ask that I don't do anything to hurt him because he is a good person with a very caring heart and alot of women have taken advantage of that. I on turn tell them that I have had the chance to know his heart, and him as a person.

We share a very special bond and we trust one another completely.

I could text forever about us, but I won't bore you all. All I kow is I love this man with all of my heart and I can't wait until he comes home to me...hopefully by the end of the year....our fingers are crossed.

Love is wonderful thing..never thought it would come looking for me there...at work, but glad it laid eyes on me and never blinked.....EYES WIDE OPEN!!!!!!!!

Vickie Deon
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Old 05-05-2005, 08:35 PM
lstreeval lstreeval is offline
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I so agree with you. They didn't want me to see him either. Denied me the first time. Finally got in by THEIR rules! Ha, ha. The Warden was there when I was working there and she absolutely HATES me! Oh well, too bad, so sad, is what I have to say. I live in Florida, he is in Wisconsin. Not too close. Yuck. I am going back up there soon, so all will be well with the world again. I hope that his mom gets better. It's nice that she sees him with you. Carl's mom just died a few months ago and he couldn't be there, so that bugs him too.

Lisa

Quote:
Originally Posted by phillip'swoman
I met my man when I was his CO, now I am fighting a battle just to get to see him. He
was sent to another prison 4 hours away. The first weekend he was there I was approved, as well as my son. We got the the facility just to be told no you can not go in. I carried his mother down to see him also. We stayed all weekend, my son went in with his mother the next day, while I sat in the car and waited. I was very upset. I was told I had to be approved in Atlanta. Course, I cannot get anyone to talk to me. I have made many phone calls, letters, sent e-mails, and spoke to the state representative. Nothing. I just got an e-mail telling me is was discrimination, and not legal for them to treat us this way. I have also tried to talk to many lawyers, but still have no luck. I am praying that this to shall pass very soon. I fell in love with him extrememely fast it is scarey. His mother is great and is very encouraging to me. She has had congested heart failure and many other issues and is unable to drive long distance so I am always willing to help her any way I can. The hardest part is we live about 2 1/2 hours from each other as well. So going to see him, I have to drive about 7 hours. But, I don't mind if I could only get through the gate. He is so wonderful and I am so crazy about him and only want the best for him/us!!! His mother has mentioned to me several times that she only wants to know that someone cares about him and will go see him if she was to die. It breaks my heart that the DOC is so cold hearted. Where has all the Christian love gone? Thanks for listening.
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  #9  
Old 05-05-2005, 10:03 PM
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I met my guy while I was working inside as well. This is the first relationship that I have ever had that didn't involve the physical aspect within a short period of time. I feel just as strong emotionally for him as I ever have with anyone else. I don't know what the future holds but I sure hope that it is as good as my dreams. I don't know when he comes home, hopefully next year.
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Old 05-06-2005, 07:53 PM
rebekah rebekah is offline
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c'mon girls, i know there has to more of you out there. do you tell people how you met? how does your family feel?
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Old 05-07-2005, 07:39 AM
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okay! i was upset because i dont want any co trying to talk to my man or any other married man!. .because i know some are kool but some are... .but i cant be too upset because my sister was a co and she actually is the one who hooked my man and me up!
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  #12  
Old 05-07-2005, 08:32 AM
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I met my guy through the system as well. I worked there for 12 years and was married the entire time. An abusive marriage. I worked in the hospital as a CO and he was the runner. We became very good friends BUT I was determined to be a good CO and wife. I told him I could not and would not do anything there. 7 years later......the phone rang! He was in MY town only blocks away! We saw each other a few times and then he had his parole revoked. He has been away now for 8 months and writes to me almost daily. He said he wanted to be with me 7 years ago but never thought I would have anything to do with him. He was soooooo wrong! :-) Although he is 10 years younger than I am, We totally click. I love him so much. He went up for a parole hearing on April 6th, but we have not heard anything at this point. I have been denied to visit him :-( but they can't break our spirit! At very most........he will only be gone for 335 more days. BUT it could be only 30 more......I am so excited. I also want to thank everyone for making me feel so welcomed here. HUGS!
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Old 05-07-2005, 09:05 AM
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I was Rafek's unemployment advisor at the JobCentre!
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Old 05-07-2005, 09:50 AM
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Was nightshift c/o in Raven's house. Also Kitchen c/o on dayshift, were he was head cook. the rest they say is history.

Istreeval, odrc is not letting me visit either. what rule did you use to get into visit.
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Old 05-07-2005, 10:54 PM
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I was a bailiff during C's arraignment, prelim, and plea.

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Old 07-01-2005, 11:36 AM
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HELLO

I MET MY MAN WHILE I WAS C-O......THERE WAS NOTHING IN THIS WORLD THAT COULD HAVE PREPARED ME FOR THAT NIGHT WHEN I TURNED AROUND THERE HE WAS LOOKING ME DEAD IN THE EYE ASKING ME MY NAME....I STOOD THERE DUMB-FOUNDED....I FELT LIKE I HAD BEEN STRUCK BY LIGHTENING BOLT STAIGHT IN MY HEART....IT ONLY TOOK A NANO-SECOND FOR ME TO KNOW THAT I WOULD LOVE THIS MAN THE REST OF MY LIFE.....BUT IT WAS NOT SO SIMPLE FOR ME TO ACCEPT...SO I PANICKED....AND RAN....CONSTANTLY!!!!! I TOLD MYSELF THAT IT WAS CRAZY AND INSANE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A MAN IN PRISON AND FUTHER MORE....NOT KNOWING WEATHER OR NOT HE WOULD EVER FEEL THE SAME WAY AND EVEN IF HE SAID HE DID....HOW IN THE HELL WOULD I KNOW HE WAS BEING TRUEFUL? SO I CAME UP WITH A PLAN THAT I JUST KNEW WOULD RUN HIM OFF AND GET THE FEELINGS THAT I HAD FOR HIM OUT OF ME.....I DECIDED THAT I WOULD BE AS UGLY AND AS MEAN TO HIM AS POSSIBLE BUT THINGS TURNED OUT QUIET DIFFERENT...NO MATTER HOW RUDE OR UGLY I ACTED TOWARDS HIM......HE NEVER FAULTERED!!!!! I WASN'T GETTING THIS.....WHEN I SAW THAT HE WASN'T FALLING FOR MY PLAN I WAS AT A LOST.....I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO MAKE OF HIM OR WHAT I SHOULD DO NEXT....ALL I KNEW WAS THAT I LOVED THAT MAN.....AND I WAS TERRIFIED THAT HE AND OTHERS WOULD SEE RIGHT THOUGH ME....IT WAS AS IF HE ALREADY KNEW THAT I LOVED HIM AND THAT WHAT I WAS PROJECTING OUTWARDLY WAS NOT COMING FROM ME AT ALL....BECAUSE HE NEVER REACTED NEGATIVELY TO ME EVEN THOUGH I WAS TO HIM....IT ONLY TOOK A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME BEFORE HE REVEALED HIS-SELF TO ME AND LET ME KNOW THAT HE KNEW THE TRUTH BEHIND MY BEHAVIOR AS WELL....HE KNEW AFTER ALL THAT TIME!!!!! AND OF COURSE WHEN HE REVEALED HOW HE FELT I DIDN'T BELIEVE HIM.....I KNEW HE WAS PLAYING A MIND GAME WITH ME......SO I CARRIED ON BELIEVING THAT FOR A VERY LONG TIME....EVEN THOUGH I WAS LOVING HIM AND WITH EVERY BEAT OF MY HEART I WANTED TO BELIEVE HIM....I STILL COULDN'T BRING MYSELF TOO...TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT HE'S BEEN IN MY LIFE SINCE THAT FAITHFUL NIGHT HE ASKED ME MY NAME.....THOUGH ALL MY IN'S AND OUTS....AND MY DOUBTS AND FEARS THE LOVE I CARRY FOR HIM HAS NEVER LEFT MT BODY....ITS BEEN ALMOST 8 YRS NOW....AND HE AND I ARE MARRIED NOW......I'M SO VERY HAPPY!!!!! HERES THE MORAL TO THE STORY.....LOVE HAS NO-LIMITS AND CAN AND WILL STRIKE WHEN IT SEES FIT.....NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE IN LIFE
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Old 07-01-2005, 02:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cmhurd
HELLO

I MET MY MAN WHILE I WAS C-O......THERE WAS NOTHING IN THIS WORLD THAT COULD HAVE PREPARED ME FOR THAT NIGHT WHEN I TURNED AROUND THERE HE WAS LOOKING ME DEAD IN THE EYE ASKING ME MY NAME....I STOOD THERE DUMB-FOUNDED....I FELT LIKE I HAD BEEN STRUCK BY LIGHTENING BOLT STAIGHT IN MY HEART....IT ONLY TOOK A NANO-SECOND FOR ME TO KNOW THAT I WOULD LOVE THIS MAN THE REST OF MY LIFE.....BUT IT WAS NOT SO SIMPLE FOR ME TO ACCEPT...SO I PANICKED....AND RAN....CONSTANTLY!!!!! I TOLD MYSELF THAT IT WAS CRAZY AND INSANE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A MAN IN PRISON AND FUTHER MORE....NOT KNOWING WEATHER OR NOT HE WOULD EVER FEEL THE SAME WAY AND EVEN IF HE SAID HE DID....HOW IN THE HELL WOULD I KNOW HE WAS BEING TRUEFUL? SO I CAME UP WITH A PLAN THAT I JUST KNEW WOULD RUN HIM OFF AND GET THE FEELINGS THAT I HAD FOR HIM OUT OF ME.....I DECIDED THAT I WOULD BE AS UGLY AND AS MEAN TO HIM AS POSSIBLE BUT THINGS TURNED OUT QUIET DIFFERENT...NO MATTER HOW RUDE OR UGLY I ACTED TOWARDS HIM......HE NEVER FAULTERED!!!!! I WASN'T GETTING THIS.....WHEN I SAW THAT HE WASN'T FALLING FOR MY PLAN I WAS AT A LOST.....I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO MAKE OF HIM OR WHAT I SHOULD DO NEXT....ALL I KNEW WAS THAT I LOVED THAT MAN.....AND I WAS TERRIFIED THAT HE AND OTHERS WOULD SEE RIGHT THOUGH ME....IT WAS AS IF HE ALREADY KNEW THAT I LOVED HIM AND THAT WHAT I WAS PROJECTING OUTWARDLY WAS NOT COMING FROM ME AT ALL....BECAUSE HE NEVER REACTED NEGATIVELY TO ME EVEN THOUGH I WAS TO HIM....IT ONLY TOOK A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME BEFORE HE REVEALED HIS-SELF TO ME AND LET ME KNOW THAT HE KNEW THE TRUTH BEHIND MY BEHAVIOR AS WELL....HE KNEW AFTER ALL THAT TIME!!!!! AND OF COURSE WHEN HE REVEALED HOW HE FELT I DIDN'T BELIEVE HIM.....I KNEW HE WAS PLAYING A MIND GAME WITH ME......SO I CARRIED ON BELIEVING THAT FOR A VERY LONG TIME....EVEN THOUGH I WAS LOVING HIM AND WITH EVERY BEAT OF MY HEART I WANTED TO BELIEVE HIM....I STILL COULDN'T BRING MYSELF TOO...TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT HE'S BEEN IN MY LIFE SINCE THAT FAITHFUL NIGHT HE ASKED ME MY NAME.....THOUGH ALL MY IN'S AND OUTS....AND MY DOUBTS AND FEARS THE LOVE I CARRY FOR HIM HAS NEVER LEFT MT BODY....ITS BEEN ALMOST 8 YRS NOW....AND HE AND I ARE MARRIED NOW......I'M SO VERY HAPPY!!!!! HERES THE MORAL TO THE STORY.....LOVE HAS NO-LIMITS AND CAN AND WILL STRIKE WHEN IT SEES FIT.....NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE IN LIFE


cmhurd, when I read your story all I could do was smile, cause it is so much like my own. I can relate to your being mean, I did that to, but like yours, it didnt work at all, just made it worse. And the running I was the running queen. I was determined not to get caught up in all the stories I had heard about. I didnt let him know how I felt about him until about 6 mths after I had quit, wasnt the job for me. I had made a promise to him, that if I was to ever quit I would stay in touch with him and let him know how I was doing.
Our most memable moment while I was working there was one night some how we got on birthdays and he told me his birthday was July 9, we went back and forth for at least 2 mins about how that was not his birthday, I had convinced myself that he had somehow found out my birthday was July 7 and he was just saying that, Love does some crazy things to ya , I made him show me his ID card to prove to me his birthday was the 9th, he showed me then he asked me when mine was and I told him non of his business and walked away, all the way home all I could do was laugh, even today I laugh every time I think about that night, cause right then and there I knew he was going to be in my life, didnt know what part he was going to play, but I knew there was going to be more to our relationship then what we had, which was nothing except CO/inmate, That was five years ago and next friday I will be becoming his WIFE Even though it took us 24 mths to get our first visit it was all worth it and we are very happy.
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