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When the Relationship is Over... This forum is about discussing your thoughts, feelings and issues now that you and your incarcerated (or formerly incarcerated) loved one are no longer together. (This forum is NOT for bashing - please read the rules before posting.)

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Old 09-24-2020, 10:05 AM
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Jay1 Jay1 is offline
God is the reason

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Default Waited...Came home...Ended

Hi I haven't posted in some time now, but I just wanted to share my homecoming experience now that I've had time to heal. I was with my SO for about 16 years of my life gave him 3 daughters, met him before he went to prison, waited about 7 years and thought finally!

We got married when he got out after doing a 7 year bid. We married a month later because we said we'd do that when he got out, so it was more of a goal and not so much anymore for love. As soon as he got home he started treating us (me and my daughters and his) like crap. I would remind him and make him aware that we were not his cell mates and that he wasn't in prison anymore. He demanded respect no matter what even tho he wasn't trying to earn it. He just came out a different person, mean, evil. He was a great manipulator, we had another baby the following year and I thought things would get better, they didn't. The baby was a huge distraction from the life we were living....We fought often and we got physical a few times. My children were scared of him, their own dad. He only got worse, everything had to be his way because he was always right. It was no longer the fairytale I had envisioned. I think I stayed because I felt it was the right thing to do after waiting for so long, I didn't really know how to get out of it anymore. The wedding was awful for me and though I faked it pretty good I felt horrible. Everyone that knows me knew it's not where I wanted to be. I felt I needed to keep my word. There would not be one day where he didn't make us feel stupid for talking. I hated my life for 4 years. My kids started not to trust me or tell me anything. I became depressed and I honestly didn't know what to do, he always turned things around to make it my fault. He was using drugs and made me pay for it everyday and if I stressed him out I knew that meant another dose and more money. And if I didn't have money he would make me ask my sisters and I just hated him so much! he was so sarcastic and so abusive. I was working two jobs, he was a stay at home dad. I tried my best to be the best but it was never enough until I had enough. One thing was him mistreating me but when he started tearing my babies life apart I could not take that. My daughters are 19, 16, 12 and 3. The baby was always safe but not the others, he never hit them (with the exception of my 12 year with the belt once) but was very mental, emotional, verbal abusive. My 12 year old never told me he hit her because in her eyes, what was I gonna do about it? besides confronting him and her getting in more trouble. He could talk for days and I just couldn't stand him anymore!! I decided to leave with my children one day, I sold our house, and filed for divorce and sole custody and was granted everything by the judge. I hope my story can help someone and know that it's ok and sometimes the best thing to do is to walk away...16 years invested, 7 years in wonder and 4 years of hell...fast forward one year later, that was the best decision I ever made and I thank God for seeing me through every step of the way. Sometimes what we think is love is really not. Boy did he have me fooled, sometimes I still question what happened to him but at this point I'm not interested in knowing the answer anymore. I closed that chapter of my life and me and my daughters want nothing to do with him ever again. Up until this day he is not sorry and still thinks he was right! he can stay like that on his own I can care less now, I don't wish him harm I just wish him away from us forever...
Psalm 46:1 “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”
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The Following 18 Users Say Thank You to Jay1 For This Useful Post:
a.rare.love (09-26-2020), Ann1972 (11-25-2020), bellisq (09-27-2020), Breaz (09-27-2020), choclgs (09-26-2020), Cutepixie (01-12-2021), dtmom2013 (10-11-2020), fbopnomore (09-24-2020), Hurley123 (12-10-2020), jadah (10-21-2020), LifeTraveler (10-01-2020), lolo21216 (09-25-2020), mauri23 (09-24-2020), miamac (09-26-2020), MizzyMuffling (09-24-2020), orchibu (09-24-2020), sidewalker (09-25-2020), trauma4us (09-24-2020)
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