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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

View Poll Results: How many times will you ride?
1...I will ride this time but he better not mess up again. 333 78.72%
As many times as it takes. 90 21.28%
Voters: 423. You may not vote on this poll

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  #101  
Old 03-21-2009, 01:28 PM
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I don't intend to ever do this again
This is his second time in. We weren't together on his first. So this is MY first ride with him.

I love him and he should love me enough to not risk losing me. If he comes out and does stupid stuff that he knows will get him put away if he gets caught (because-obviously it's possible for him to get caught or he wouldn't be where he is now) that shows me that he doesn't care about himself or me or his family enough to stay away from his old life.


Of course-like someone already said "saying and doing are two different things."

If would most likely be the hardest decision I would ever have to make.

Hoping and praying I never have to make it!!!!!!
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  #102  
Old 03-21-2009, 01:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RobertWideman View Post
the sad part is most men never think of what they will lose until they have lost it. then they want us to give them a second chance. but would they do the same for us?

wonderful point...I've wondered that myself before....
I don't know the answer
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  #103  
Old 03-21-2009, 01:36 PM
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Default I stand this time

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ms Nick Deere View Post
This is my first and last ride. because
one) i never thought i would end up with an inmate
two) i never thought i would actually wait this long for anyone yet alone an inmate lol
three) it is way to hard financially, physically, mentally and emotionally and i really don't think i can stand another round of DOC. unless i am working for them as a PO..lol i love my man but if messes up the next time he's doing it alone and knows where to find me when he's gotten it all together.

Amen to that!! Doesn't mean I don't love my guy any less.. I would be crushed and I know he needs me, but I know it all depends on when the time comes. But I agree with you right now
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  #104  
Old 03-21-2009, 10:18 PM
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This is it.. This is his second time in prison. He was in before I knew him and did 5 years.. now we are together and he has been in for 1 year already and has another 4 more to go.. I will never, ever go through this again. I have been through hell and back over this past year and still have another 4 more to go.. If he wound up in prison again, then he obviously is not trying to change himself and his life for the better and being that I am part of his life and we're together.. I'm not going through it again. Then he doesn't care about himself, me or us.. In this situation it was a complicated one so I will stand by him through this and he knows I will not do this again.. he swears he never, ever wants to come back to prison again, so I hope and pray that he changes and it never happens again.. I care about myself and I'm not putting myself through it again.
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  #105  
Old 03-25-2009, 06:15 PM
Mvarm8 Mvarm8 is offline
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I agree, I would not go through this ride again, no one would. But on the other side my man was screwed over by "friends" hiding their own mistake and used him as their scape goat... so what do you say there because that could happen to anyone. And if it were me I'd want to know he would be there for whatever crap the world throws at me. I never thought in a million years I'd be waiting for an inmate. But I sit here reading all this, those of you having to wait years, some 14 years + and my heart aches for you. No one prepares you for this. I guess I should be thankful I only have a few months to wait. Good luck to everyone, my thoughts are with you.
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  #106  
Old 03-26-2009, 04:57 PM
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This is my first and last time going through this... I won't be able to take all this again, go through it again.. right now it's fine, because he got lucky, he's getting charged as an adolescent, because he was 17 when he got arrested, and 17 in juvi... He's now 18, but he got so lucky.. He's f*ed if he does that again, because I'm not going through this roller coaster again.. He can try and pull through it on his own, as he would be in adult prison the next time, so it would be tons harder..
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  #107  
Old 03-27-2009, 09:12 AM
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I would have to say I would stick by him because so much of it is the system and not the man. Once they're on PO they can sent back for sneezing wrong. I mean really. RDB forever!!
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  #108  
Old 03-27-2009, 09:19 AM
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I told him on our first visit he was better then this and i would do this one time and one time only if he wants to be where he is again hes doing it alone. he agreed with me 100% and was pretty shocked that i talked to him the way i did. lol. it made him feel loved for me to be so straight forward with him. my heart couldnt take this again thats for sure.
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  #109  
Old 03-27-2009, 09:32 AM
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Hello responding to your post really i don't think i can put myself thought this again so this would be the last time because we talks about it all the time and he promise me not again.
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  #110  
Old 03-31-2009, 06:31 AM
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That's my dude and I made a promise to him in front of God through good and bad so as much as I don't want to do this ride again I'm gonna ride always. That's my true love we have a family together I chose this when I chose him I just hope that when he gets out he loves me and his kids enough to stay out because even though my ride will continue throughout MY life my kids won't.
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  #111  
Old 03-31-2009, 07:12 AM
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This is my second ride with him and definately the last.I refuse to put myself and our children thru this again.
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  #112  
Old 04-22-2009, 11:32 AM
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I chose the option that said this is the last ride for me, as much as I love this man, I love myself and my daughter even more and I have to think about my little girl's future before I choose to ride again.
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  #113  
Old 04-22-2009, 09:03 PM
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NEVA, I SAY NEVA, AND IM STANDEN ON THAT!!!... 10YRS OH hE!! NAW BROTHA...
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  #114  
Old 04-22-2009, 09:15 PM
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I say i wouldn't but like "canthelpbutwait" said once you've married its for better or for worse so IF i had to I would but he BETTER not get out just to go back in...we've discussed this before and he said he would never go back but hey like everyone in here say "never say never"
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  #115  
Old 04-22-2009, 09:50 PM
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This is my first and last. as much as i love him i will not put myself through this again. it's just to much to deal with all over again. and if he love his freedom as much as he claim the first time he would do what ever it take to keep his freedom.
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  #116  
Old 04-22-2009, 10:33 PM
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I hope not to have to do this again, I say I will not do it but knowing how i am i would prob give in and do it again, but he has said once he comes home he dont ever want to do that again for his sake and mine.
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  #117  
Old 04-22-2009, 10:54 PM
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The last time he did 30 days and this time he was sentenced to 5 years. My husband had to plead guilty and take a terrible deal because of his past and our fear of superior court and more time.
I will NOT do this again. This has to be rock bottom for our family and I pray that there is one way from here ---> up!
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  #118  
Old 04-23-2009, 03:00 PM
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Default I know what you are saying

this is the first time my husband been on lockdown since we been married ebut twice in his life.the first time for a few months but this time he has been gone almost a year now and a bitch has needs.
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  #119  
Old 04-23-2009, 05:56 PM
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thats a question that can be answered yes and no. if he messes up again and it nas nothing to do with me, ill stand by him, I pray he doesnt, but if he goes back because of me again..... he will do this ride alone. Ive come to far in these three years to back peddle. I have no regrets and i dont feel that i have wasted time, ive grown, ive learned alot and i became very strong, didnt know i had that in me.
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  #120  
Old 04-23-2009, 08:40 PM
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I'd like to say this is the only time. I can't for several reasons. The first being that I have a strong commitment to my marriage and we have had some really rough situations prior to this and I didn't walk away then. He's been abandoned by everyone in his life and I don't intend to be another face. Also, there are many reasons he could go back, stupid ass parole violations, etc. I also can't say for sure I wouldn't walk away, I guess it really depends on why.
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  #121  
Old 05-10-2009, 09:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chellie View Post
Here's the real question ladies. How many times will you ride for your man? I mean really think about it. Has your man ever been locked up before this? Be honest MOST of our men are at fault here. whether it was something stupid or serious. Really think who's fault is it really that they are sitting where they are? Now me I'm gonna ride for him this time but when he comes he better not do any type of dumb shit. How many times are we supposed to put our whole lives on hold ? I love him with all my heart and so does my son but I refuse to let him do this to US again. I guess I'm curious how you all feel about this situation....
This is the first time he's ever been in prison. And NO I wont be here if he decides to break the law again. One time is a mistake. Two is... well. Not happening whilst I'm around. No matter how much I love him, Im not going to put myself through this ever again and keep wondering if its going to happen again and again...
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  #122  
Old 05-10-2009, 09:55 PM
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He already knows that if he ends up in jail again he is on his own. That is part of his motivation for staying on the right side of the law when he gets out. Because he knows if he screws up again I am DONE! At least I think I will be...
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  #123  
Old 05-10-2009, 10:00 PM
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Thank-you all for your responses. As you can tell I started this when I first came here. I was thinking about this over the past few months. And although I say I would leave...if we are already married and he goes in again I will not leave him {I do not believe in divorce}. I will not ride as hard as I am now...but I will stay faithful until he comes home. But he is on his own with the rest of this crap. Just thought I would update on my thoughts.
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  #124  
Old 05-11-2009, 01:02 AM
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Mine already knows this is the last time. I waited for 3 years right after I first met him, and he had stayed clean for 15 years, and I will wait this little 2 yeas but then enough is enough.
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  #125  
Old 05-11-2009, 01:11 AM
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I love my husband with all my heart and soul, I would go to hell and back for him, I would take any bullet for him, but I have even told him... this is the last time I'm doin this. He's been in and out of juvi, jails, and prisons all his life... and I'm willing to overlook that because of his childhood (he lost his mom and dad before he was 2)... but I have also been raised around felons (my dad's friends), and I have watched women wait and wait and wait for their men, while they go on a reckless rampage. I refuse to go through that... if he messes up agian, I'm sorry but I have to say I'm done.
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