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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

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  #1  
Old 10-18-2011, 06:57 PM
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Default Need some input!! - another girl is writing him

my man is in prison obviously...he has 5 more years to go im the only one he writes an calls im the only one that has gone to see him in the past 5 months! we had a rough patch for about 6 months an i didnt really talk to him it made it some what easier to be able to learn how to cope with this situation that were going through. long story short when i started writting again he admited to me that he had been writting another girl but was just a (friend)...he says there moms are friends an have been for quite some time but the girl that wrote him is his moms friends daughter?! ::confusing:: i kno well he says while he was writting the girl he always talked about me an how in love with me he is?!! hmmmm... well last he wrote her so he says....he told her i was back in the picture an he didnt want to disrespect me in any way so he didnt wanna have contact with her so my take on it being a women if someone said that to me i would just leave it alone well no0o0o0 she wrote him like a month later...now if he didnt write her back why would she out of the blue write him again an wut would she have to say he says he jus scanned the letter not really reading it an just threw it away???? ::HELP::

Last edited by wickzfinest727; 10-18-2011 at 06:59 PM..
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  #2  
Old 10-18-2011, 08:26 PM
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Prison relationships are really confusing and you have a long haul ahead. Best start giving your man the benefit of the doubt now because trust is going to go far for you. Even if she's writing now, so what? Most women come and go anyway because they can't handle it or don't want to ride it out and if your man throwing the letters in the trash as he says, she going to be gone soon anyways. Be thankful he's telling you because if you start flipping out everytime he clue you in, he'll eventually stop to avoid the drama.
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Old 10-18-2011, 08:57 PM
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This is confusing but you do have to trust him. Women always say they want the truth but then when they get it they can not handle it. David informs me of things like one time he told me his baby mama wanted to know if she could bring his daughter up to see him. I got upset because I figure he has been locked up there for 2 years now and she has yet to take the little girl up there to see him and they live in the town he is locked up in. His mom usually takes the little girl to see him when she comes through town. I think she is just doing that because his mom told her how serious David and I is. He wrote her and told her no that if his daughter wants to see him that I will pick her up when I come to town to see him. David lets me know who writes him and everything that way if something comes up it won't be like oh really I didn't know that. Like Sojuma said if he is not responding she will eventually get the picture and move on.
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Old 10-18-2011, 09:03 PM
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Cant think of amyone he reminds me of.
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Old 10-18-2011, 09:04 PM
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Sorry wrong forum topic.
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Old 10-18-2011, 09:09 PM
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Maybe she felt like she had some hope to be with him. If a man told me he wamted someone else i would back off. Maybe he just stringing her on for benefits. Sometime men lie.
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Old 10-18-2011, 09:49 PM
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I say choose your battles. You have no way to know FOR sure if he is lying or not. I would take his word for now. Just keep your eyes (and ears) open for any signs proving otherwise. Just love him and keep up your end of the relationship. He's in Prison. He's not going anywhere
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Old 10-18-2011, 09:59 PM
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My response would have to be - "I'm really glad you have more mail at mail call!"

Unless he expresses romantic interest in her, I'd be delighted that he has more friends on the outside who are keeping contact. and if their mothers really are friends, then I'd say talk with his mom, find out what the relationship between them has been, and then act from there.
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Old 10-18-2011, 10:15 PM
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Thanks everyone seeing another perspective helps! Im deff not worried hes not goin nowhere ;p
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Old 10-18-2011, 10:21 PM
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The only thing that can come between you and your man....is you and your man. He's been honest and upfront with both of you. I wouldn't want Frankie to try to control who I interact with, I wouldn't try to tell him who he could have as friends. As long as we're both honest and honorable within our relationship, it really doesn't matter what anyone else wants, they're just spinning their wheels.
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Old 10-18-2011, 10:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wickzfinest727 View Post
Thanks everyone seeing another perspective helps! Im deff not worried hes not goin nowhere ;p
my mans baby momma didnt go a single time to see phillip until she realized that phillip and i were serious and not just a fling! then she wanted to start writing him and even went to see him once when she knew i wasnt able to go. he doesnt respond to her letters and he sends them to me. and when i saw her i gave them back to her. she was dumbfounded cuz i guess she thought phillip was the old phillip and not the new improved in love with me phillip. no problems out of her sense. some girls are just like that. they dont care if a man has a girlfriend or a wife, the wanna see what they can get.
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Old 10-18-2011, 10:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FastCarGirl
The only thing that can come between you and your man....is you and your man. He's been honest and upfront with both of you. I wouldn't want Frankie to try to control who I interact with, I wouldn't try to tell him who he could have as friends. As long as we're both honest and honorable within our relationship, it really doesn't matter what anyone else wants, they're just spinning their wheels.
We still have an issue like this and the only thing that really bothers me is that she threatened me and I sometimes feel is reaction made light of the threat. I would rather he just tell me if he's still getting letters. So that way at least I know and it doesn't feel like there is something wrong. If it's hidden it feels wrong.
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Old 10-18-2011, 10:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beachhouse View Post
We still have an issue like this and the only thing that really bothers me is that she threatened me and I sometimes feel is reaction made light of the threat. I would rather he just tell me if he's still getting letters. So that way at least I know and it doesn't feel like there is something wrong. If it's hidden it feels wrong.

That's kind of like how I see it too...if there's nothing going on and nothing to hide they shouldn't have a problem talking about it.

The OP's man never had to tell her about the letters or that he was conversing with someone else. It speaks to his character that he was straight with her.
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Old 10-19-2011, 12:09 AM
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I wouldn't worry about what the woman does only what your man does. He told you about her so that should give you some comfort because he didn't have to. Trust your man unless he gives a reason not to.

Not that it matters, but FYI she probably wrote again to see if you had stepped away again. She probably figures if you did it once you'll do it again and when you do she'll be ready. But I wouldn't waste any energy on her I would concentrate on staying strong for myself and my man. This life is tough so don't sweat the small stuff. Love your man, be happy and let her letters keep ending up in the trash until she gets the point. Whatever you do don't make him feel like he made a mistake being honest with you. Good luck.
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Old 10-19-2011, 12:30 AM
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And exactly what do you need "help" with??? The man told you that he told her to back off, you were back in the picture and that he threw the letter away. So I don't see anything wrong there. Also if she was just a friend ONLY I don't see why there would be a problem with him writing her. As for why she wrote him? I don't know and who cares. The only thing that matters is he rejected the correspondance and obviously has no interest in writing her. If that was her FRIEND then I'm sure she only wanted to know how he was doing and what he was up to.
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Old 10-19-2011, 11:09 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DP's Girl
I wouldn't worry about what the woman does only what your man does. He told you about her so that should give you some comfort because he didn't have to. Trust your man unless he gives a reason not to.

Not that it matters, but FYI she probably wrote again to see if you had stepped away again. She probably figures if you did it once you'll do it again and when you do she'll be ready. But I wouldn't waste any energy on her I would concentrate on staying strong for myself and my man. This life is tough so don't sweat the small stuff. Love your man, be happy and let her letters keep ending up in the trash until she gets the point. Whatever you do don't make him feel like he made a mistake being honest with you. Good luck.
Thanks for the advice. That made me smile lol im not worried I trust him jus needed to vent!
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