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Old 08-04-2018, 05:42 AM
Mrs515o Mrs515o is offline
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Angry Any of you ever ask your LO to do things for you against BOP/DOC policies?

Did any of you ever ask your wife to do things for you. Like stuff that would put her at risk. Like, bring in tabacco at visit. Or the most recent: make a 3 way call for another in mate ( him, his bank, me ) so he can approve funds to be put into my account then sent to him. I of course am not stupid. And refuse to do any of this crap. Which has led to what may be the fight to end this marriage.
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Old 08-04-2018, 05:57 AM
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If your husband wants you to do stuff like that and he is willing to play reckless with your freedom.Then I would seriously consider if your marriage is worth saving.I would be long gone.
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Old 08-04-2018, 06:12 AM
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Agree with maytayah - he's valuing getting over while inside, but not valuing your freedom at all. That IS the end of a relationship!
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Old 08-04-2018, 06:32 AM
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Yea I already know this. And that's so hard to admit. He is so angry at me. Because I called him out on it. " I'm tripping over nothing" I don't care about his life in there, etc etc. He is seriously acting pyscho. Got in 2 fights. Said it was my fault. Because I had been messing with his head all day. No buddy that's all on you dude. Says he's just gonna do his own thing. Since I obviously don't care about him. I told him he needs to get him a dumb wife if that's what he's wanting. Because I'm not it. In one day he managed to lose me. Very intense anger. But I'm ok with him saying it's all my fault. As long as he's gone. I spent 5.5 years building a life for us. So he would have something to come home to. He's spent it on cases no school, no change. Nata. So he's done me a favor here. Gave me a ticket out. See ya!!
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Old 08-04-2018, 06:44 AM
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Well good luck to you, he sounds immature and irresponsible.You are not to blame for his behaviour. He needs to grow up and maybe losing you will be a good lesson for him.
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Old 08-04-2018, 07:33 AM
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Thank you. I hate it. I hate leaving him alone. But I just can't do it anymore. I can't save him.
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Old 08-04-2018, 11:51 AM
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The 3 way call was recorded by the prison, as was his request for you to smuggle tobacco during a visit (if it was done over the phone). You were right to refuse both, and to get away from someone who is willing to risk your freedom for something as stupid as a cigarette.
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Old 08-04-2018, 01:06 PM
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If I could tell you how many women I have seen get arrested as they get on line for visits, while children watch, then have vehicle search, taken away in handcuff...social services if necessary if would break your heart. They listen to calls, they know what's going to happen.
No person who cares for you would treat you so callously and then try to make it your fault when you are strong.
Sometimes people tell us EXACTLY who they are. I'm glad you listened before you got lost.
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Old 08-04-2018, 05:44 PM
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Absolutely not because he loves me and wants to come home. Plain and simple. Sorry your going through this.
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Old 08-05-2018, 03:12 AM
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You know what sucks the most? Knowing y'all are all right about him. And I know it also. We have been together 6 years. 5 prison time. I'm that girl:the commissary girl. I wasn't supposed to be her.
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Old 08-05-2018, 03:53 AM
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I'm sorry that you are going through this but to ask you to bring in tobacco is a horrible thing for him to do. He is putting your freedom at risk. You deserve so much better than that. I don't agree with the three way call either but the worst that could come out of that would be loss of phone privileges but by asking you to sneak something in, he is putting you at risk. That is just a mean and selfish thing to ask of the person that stood by him during his sentence.
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Old 08-05-2018, 10:56 AM
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I am a very sad girl who wants the man back that I fell in love with.not this man he's become. Idk wgY happened.
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Old 08-05-2018, 12:00 PM
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These are not generally new behaviors. Who did it for him before that is no longer doing it? Esp after 5 yrs to just start asking seems weird.
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Old 08-06-2018, 02:26 AM
Mrs515o Mrs515o is offline
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The first time he asked was 2 years ago. Which we fought about for over a year until he finally let it go. He has no one but me. No one goes to see him but me. He's been in and out since he was 16. In all those years he's been on his own in there. Idk I don't know what goes on in there. I just loved him and wanted to show him there's another way to live. With family that sticks by you. Etc etc he can't get past the prison mentality. It's where he was raised. It's what he knows. Makes me very very sad.
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Old 08-08-2018, 12:16 PM
Mrs515o Mrs515o is offline
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I just wanted to let you all know that I am filing for divorce this week. I can no longer. I am ready to be free from all things prison related. I appreciate all of your advice when I was feeling mixed up. Thank you all.making this decision has taken tons of weight off of me.
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Old 08-08-2018, 12:23 PM
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I am glad you found the courage to do what is best for you; I know this couldn't have been an easy decision but I am confident, based on what you've shared here, that it is best for you in the long run! Good for you, wishing you all the best
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Old 08-08-2018, 02:40 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs515o View Post
I just wanted to let you all know that I am filing for divorce this week. I can no longer. I am ready to be free from all things prison related. I appreciate all of your advice when I was feeling mixed up. Thank you all.making this decision has taken tons of weight off of me.
Good for you! I would not put up with that if a person loves you they would never risk your freedom they would never risk putting you in jail that to me is just ludicrous. I never understood why some people just put up with that kind of stuff.
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