Welcome to the Prison Talk Online Community! Take a Minute and Sign Up Today!






Go Back   Prison Talk > U.S. REGIONAL FORUMS > CALIFORNIA > California Legal Help
Register Entertainment FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

California Legal Help Topics, Discussions and Information relating to Legal Information specific to the State of California. This information is *NOT PROFESSIONAL* and should always be fact-checked!

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 07-11-2018, 10:00 AM
Rc3000 Rc3000 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 10
Thanks: 19
Thanked 9 Times in 3 Posts
Default Facing SO charges in CA

Hello all. This is my first post here. I just wanted to get some information from people who are familiar with the proceedings leading up to my first hearing, what my lawyer should be doing in the two months leading up to that hearing, what kinds of plea deals I may be looking at. So as of right now I am facing a max of 8 years depending on how the prosecutor decides to proceed. I am not sure how much information I can give here without putting myself in more danger. I also would like to know what I should be expecting if/when I go to jail/prison. I have heard some pretty frightening things. Will I be placed immediately in a separate wing from GP? I am in California and formerly served as a military police officer, which could also make me a marked man. For the first time in my life I have been experiencing anxiety. If anyone can help please let me know. I would be willing to talk with anyone privately and share more details so you are able to better advise me. Thank you. God bless.
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #2  
Old 07-11-2018, 10:26 AM
Sarianna's Avatar
Sarianna Sarianna is online now
Midnight Sun Moderator

PTO Site Moderator 

Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Swinging from the chandelier
Posts: 2,381
Thanks: 12,352
Thanked 2,989 Times in 1,374 Posts
Default

Welcome to Prison Talk, glad you found us!

We have a lot of members here who will be able to give you advice/opinions on the issues you are going through; I moved your post to our California forums for more specific help/comments.
__________________
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Sarianna For This Useful Post:
Rc3000 (07-11-2018)
  #3  
Old 07-11-2018, 11:34 AM
miamac's Avatar
miamac miamac is online now
Site Moderator Gone Mad

Staff Superstar Winner PTO Site Moderator 

 

Join Date: May 2013
Location: ORnativeAZresCAtied
Posts: 9,793
Thanks: 12,809
Thanked 18,524 Times in 6,714 Posts
Default

California uses SNY designation for those who feel residing on a GP yard poses a threat to their safety. Recently, they've made efforts to eliminate SNY status on the lower level yards (1 and 2, firecamps and health facilities). If your classification score places you at a level 3 or 4, SNY may be an option.

However, please don't let the horror stories control you. Yes, there is a risk but it's more about you and how you comport yourself on the yard. "Showing papers" is an old-school tactic of forcing inmates to show legal docs with your charges. It still happens, but much less than in years past. You never need divulge why you are in prison but be aware that it may surface anyway. I would give you the same advice I would give any new inmate:
keep your head down, your ears open, your mouth shut. don't gamble, don't borrow, don't accrue debts of any kind. if you have mental health issues, seek counseling now and get them documented and learn techniques to help you cope with the anxiety. When you're celled up, request housing with another SO.

As far as your MP status, it might actually benefit you. A street cop has a different history. Your military service allows you to participate in Veterans Programs which should be at every facility. After you're through reception (roughly 4-6 months), you'll go to your home prison. As soon as you meet with your counselor there, express your strong desire to get involved in self-help groups and the vets program.

Of course, all of this only applies if you wind up serving time at a state facility. Since you are pre-sentencing, let's slow up and hope someone can give you a better idea of what you're looking at.

Best of luck and welcome to PTO.
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to miamac For This Useful Post:
Minor activist (07-21-2018), nimuay (07-11-2018), Rc3000 (07-11-2018), Sarianna (07-12-2018)
  #4  
Old 07-11-2018, 11:52 AM
Rc3000 Rc3000 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 10
Thanks: 19
Thanked 9 Times in 3 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by miamac View Post
California uses SNY designation for those who feel residing on a GP yard poses a threat to their safety. Recently, they've made efforts to eliminate SNY status on the lower level yards (1 and 2, firecamps and health facilities). If your classification score places you at a level 3 or 4, SNY may be an option.

However, please don't let the horror stories control you. Yes, there is a risk but it's more about you and how you comport yourself on the yard. "Showing papers" is an old-school tactic of forcing inmates to show legal docs with your charges. It still happens, but much less than in years past. You never need divulge why you are in prison but be aware that it may surface anyway. I would give you the same advice I would give any new inmate:
keep your head down, your ears open, your mouth shut. don't gamble, don't borrow, don't accrue debts of any kind. if you have mental health issues, seek counseling now and get them documented and learn techniques to help you cope with the anxiety. When you're celled up, request housing with another SO.

As far as your MP status, it might actually benefit you. A street cop has a different history. Your military service allows you to participate in Veterans Programs which should be at every facility. After you're through reception (roughly 4-6 months), you'll go to your home prison. As soon as you meet with your counselor there, express your strong desire to get involved in self-help groups and the vets program.

Of course, all of this only applies if you wind up serving time at a state facility. Since you are pre-sentencing, let's slow up and hope someone can give you a better idea of what you're looking at.

Best of luck and welcome to PTO.
Thanks. Your input helps a lot. I had no idea there were such programs for vets. I am certainly wanting to be involved in as many programs as possible to help my time pass faster and possibly cut my time down a bit. I am glad to hear people are not as forceful about asking for papers today. Even though my offense was not violent or extreme, I know anything having to do with children or women is frowned upon. I believe my charges will be state charges and not federal. I am looking at best case scenario, depending on the diligence of my lawyer, up to 1 year in county OR at most up to 8 years in state prison.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Rc3000 For This Useful Post:
Sarianna (07-12-2018)
  #5  
Old 07-11-2018, 11:54 AM
Rc3000 Rc3000 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 10
Thanks: 19
Thanked 9 Times in 3 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rc3000 View Post
Thanks. Your input helps a lot. I had no idea there were such programs for vets. I am certainly wanting to be involved in as many programs as possible to help my time pass faster and possibly cut my time down a bit. I am glad to hear people are not as forceful about asking for papers today. Even though my offense was not violent or extreme, I know anything having to do with children or women is frowned upon. I believe my charges will be state charges and not federal. I am looking at best case scenario, depending on the diligence of my lawyer, up to 1 year in county OR at most up to 8 years in state prison.
Sorry for not adding this in the last comment. I just looked up the SNY yards in California and it seems that they have begun phasing them out. Is this true or is it a rumor?

Last edited by Rc3000; 07-11-2018 at 12:00 PM..
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 07-11-2018, 11:57 AM
miamac's Avatar
miamac miamac is online now
Site Moderator Gone Mad

Staff Superstar Winner PTO Site Moderator 

 

Join Date: May 2013
Location: ORnativeAZresCAtied
Posts: 9,793
Thanks: 12,809
Thanked 18,524 Times in 6,714 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rc3000 View Post
Sorry for not adding this in the last comment. I just looked up the SNY yards in California and it seems that they have begun phasing them out. Is this true or is it a rumor.
Yes, they are. That was my comment about Level 1's and 2's.

If you wind up in county under AB109, we've got a different path to discuss. They run nothing like state facilities.

But, again, you're not sentenced yet so let's focus on those potentials and what you can do to prepare if you wind up with time (for example, powers of attorney, protecting assets, getting all of your medical taken care of before you go...).
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to miamac For This Useful Post:
Rc3000 (07-11-2018)
  #7  
Old 07-11-2018, 12:05 PM
Rc3000 Rc3000 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 10
Thanks: 19
Thanked 9 Times in 3 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by miamac View Post
Yes, they are. That was my comment about Level 1's and 2's.

If you wind up in county under AB109, we've got a different path to discuss. They run nothing like state facilities.

But, again, you're not sentenced yet so let's focus on those potentials and what you can do to prepare if you wind up with time (for example, powers of attorney, protecting assets, getting all of your medical taken care of before you go...).
Yes. You are right. I have been considering those things too. Considering my children have been taken and my wife could also potential spend a small amount of time in county, we have been trying to get our finances in order and talk with close friends about powers of attorney. We recently bought a home and I am worried that we may lose that whether we go to jail or not. This concern comes from the fact that I work a job that requires a secret clearance which I will most likely lose. Just paid off one of my vehicles and am looking at about 40,000 in lawyer fees and bail bond fees. It has been nerve racking trying to navigate through all of this. We had just started getting our lives together both spiritually and financially when this happened. Would my home lender have any programs where we could either quickly sell the house after sentencing or put the payments on hold or anything of that nature?
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 07-12-2018, 07:07 AM
sidewalker sidewalker is offline
CA, LASO, site sug. SUPER MOD

PTO Super Moderator Staff Superstar Winner 

Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: ca usa
Posts: 30,209
Thanks: 52,828
Thanked 27,790 Times in 14,063 Posts
Default

These two threads may be helpful in remembering everything that should be done
http://prisontalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=518239


And how to *behave*
http://prisontalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=592193


they may or may not apply but.....hoping they may.
You also may want to check thru the laso forums
http://prisontalk.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=101


Be sure to scroll all the way down the page. That forum has a huge space in the middle......
__________________
My windows aren't dirty

That's my dog's nose art

Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 07-12-2018, 07:53 PM
rockchalk1 rockchalk1 is online now
Registered User
 

Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Chicago
Posts: 779
Thanks: 17
Thanked 971 Times in 481 Posts
Default

From a mental health standpoint, since you said you're starting to feel anxious, I would strongly suggest you go talk to a therapist if you can. I know you probably discuss things with your wife, but talking to someone who is uninvolved and can provide an unbiased opinion can help and go a long way. It also can go a long way in terms of a sentence in the eyes of the Judge if you wind up taking a plea and get help with whatever your issue and/or alleged crime is. But more so just for your own mental health and peace of mine it can be a huge help.

There's no way that a lender is going to let you put your home payments on hold while you a serving a sentence. Now if both you and your wife are found guilty and both wind up having to serve a sentence and you have young children, the court might be willing to let you serve one after the other, so one parent can stay home with the kids. If that is the case then the one home can at least work and try to keep the house, otherwise, your best bet may be to just sell the house, even if you have to take a loss.

From a financial perspective, a lot of people who can't afford to keep their homes, tend to keep them as long as possible, going into debt, because they can't stand to get rid of the house. It's the last thing the people get rid of. As hard as it is, just remember, it is just a thing, and it can be replaced. You would rather get some cash out of it and have a roof over your family's heads than wind up with nothing and homeless. So you may want to think ahead and if this is a doomed situation, get out while you can and start stashing away as much cash as possible in order to take care of your family when/if you're gone.

Good luck!
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to rockchalk1 For This Useful Post:
Rc3000 (07-12-2018)
  #10  
Old 07-12-2018, 08:04 PM
rockchalk1 rockchalk1 is online now
Registered User
 

Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Chicago
Posts: 779
Thanks: 17
Thanked 971 Times in 481 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by miamac View Post
California uses SNY designation for those who feel residing on a GP yard poses a threat to their safety. Recently, they've made efforts to eliminate SNY status on the lower level yards (1 and 2, firecamps and health facilities). If your classification score places you at a level 3 or 4, SNY may be an option.

However, please don't let the horror stories control you. Yes, there is a risk but it's more about you and how you comport yourself on the yard. "Showing papers" is an old-school tactic of forcing inmates to show legal docs with your charges. It still happens, but much less than in years past. You never need divulge why you are in prison but be aware that it may surface anyway. I would give you the same advice I would give any new inmate:
keep your head down, your ears open, your mouth shut. don't gamble, don't borrow, don't accrue debts of any kind. if you have mental health issues, seek counseling now and get them documented and learn techniques to help you cope with the anxiety. When you're celled up, request housing with another SO.

As far as your MP status, it might actually benefit you. A street cop has a different history. Your military service allows you to participate in Veterans Programs which should be at every facility. After you're through reception (roughly 4-6 months), you'll go to your home prison. As soon as you meet with your counselor there, express your strong desire to get involved in self-help groups and the vets program.

Of course, all of this only applies if you wind up serving time at a state facility. Since you are pre-sentencing, let's slow up and hope someone can give you a better idea of what you're looking at.

Best of luck and welcome to PTO.
While I have no real familiarity with SO, I disagree with some of this at least in the Federal system. Before my husband SS, he wanted to talk to someone about what to expect. His attorney connected him with one of his former clients. The guy had been in a Low and told my husband that he needed to come with his plea agreement so that people there would know he was a white collar criminal and not a SO. This was within the last year, so the "papers" were relevant. Now, my husband is actually at a Camp, and there are no SO there so no issues other than everyone being homophobic there and if you don't know someone you can't sit next to them in the theatre to watch tv or a movie. The bizarre crap that goes on in prison. They won't even use urinals next to one another, yet no problem using a trough at a sporting even with 100 other guys in public!

My other example is that someone I know who is at the FSL in Elkton, also a Federal facility. This one is just above a camp, but below a Low. There they have SO and again my friend is there for white collar but he has told me specifically that everyone has some sort of colored tags and by the color, you know what the crime is, and the SO are also on a certain level of the dorm and are not allowed to earn gate passes to leave the grounds, whereas the white collar and some other guys are. He did say people pretty much leave them alone and they're isolated, but everyone knows who they are.

That said one final thing. Anyone who wants to know what you're in for, if curious will be able to find out. When my husband wants to know about someone, I just look them up on pacer, or when someone tries to befriend him, he has me check the person out. He recently had me check someone out who was "friendly" to him. I had to come back and tell my husband to stay away. The guy was very obviously anti-semitic (we're Jewish), had complete opposite political views of my husband and some other things we don't agree with. As opposed to my husband confronting him about his views, best to just stay away. My point, if you're a SO, people will figure it out soon enough. You just need to as someone else said, keep your head down, and ears open, you will figure it out as you go along.

It takes a few months to figure out the ropes and some people will be helpful, some won't. You'll figure it out. Hang in there.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 07-12-2018, 08:26 PM
Rc3000 Rc3000 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 10
Thanks: 19
Thanked 9 Times in 3 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by rockchalk1 View Post
While I have no real familiarity with SO, I disagree with some of this at least in the Federal system. Before my husband SS, he wanted to talk to someone about what to expect. His attorney connected him with one of his former clients. The guy had been in a Low and told my husband that he needed to come with his plea agreement so that people there would know he was a white collar criminal and not a SO. This was within the last year, so the "papers" were relevant. Now, my husband is actually at a Camp, and there are no SO there so no issues other than everyone being homophobic there and if you don't know someone you can't sit next to them in the theatre to watch tv or a movie. The bizarre crap that goes on in prison. They won't even use urinals next to one another, yet no problem using a trough at a sporting even with 100 other guys in public!

My other example is that someone I know who is at the FSL in Elkton, also a Federal facility. This one is just above a camp, but below a Low. There they have SO and again my friend is there for white collar but he has told me specifically that everyone has some sort of colored tags and by the color, you know what the crime is, and the SO are also on a certain level of the dorm and are not allowed to earn gate passes to leave the grounds, whereas the white collar and some other guys are. He did say people pretty much leave them alone and they're isolated, but everyone knows who they are.

That said one final thing. Anyone who wants to know what you're in for, if curious will be able to find out. When my husband wants to know about someone, I just look them up on pacer, or when someone tries to befriend him, he has me check the person out. He recently had me check someone out who was "friendly" to him. I had to come back and tell my husband to stay away. The guy was very obviously anti-semitic (we're Jewish), had complete opposite political views of my husband and some other things we don't agree with. As opposed to my husband confronting him about his views, best to just stay away. My point, if you're a SO, people will figure it out soon enough. You just need to as someone else said, keep your head down, and ears open, you will figure it out as you go along.

It takes a few months to figure out the ropes and some people will be helpful, some won't. You'll figure it out. Hang in there.
Thanks. That helps alot. I appreciate your response.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 07-12-2018, 10:06 PM
miamac's Avatar
miamac miamac is online now
Site Moderator Gone Mad

Staff Superstar Winner PTO Site Moderator 

 

Join Date: May 2013
Location: ORnativeAZresCAtied
Posts: 9,793
Thanks: 12,809
Thanked 18,524 Times in 6,714 Posts
Default

In CA state prisons--
*no colors to identify crimes


*no low/med facilities. you're housed according to your classification score that takes into account things like your age, your past history of incarceration, whether your crime is violent, ect.

*race trumps crime in CDCR facilities, so you'll first be celled up with another person of your race

*if that person presses you for your charges, you have zero obligation to show anything. if that becomes an issue, you request a cell move which may take some time. if you end up on a low level yard (1-2, 3 if SNY), it's highly unlikely that you'll be asked. those inmates have either done a good chunk of time and don't give two poops about why you're there or they're close to the gate themselves. any trouble they stir up risks losing their date.

*yes, people do sometimes reach outside the gate to look up your charges. my husband has been down 16 years and not once has he asked me to look anyone up. you go looking for dirt, you'll find it and then what? I'm telling you that because if you wind up on a yard with men who have done 10+ years, it's a safe bet that they don't give a damn why you're there. young people and those who still have reasons to watch their back tend to be the ones who go looking.

I honestly think you're going to be just fine. A year in county will be a year you'll never want to repeat. It's just a different game altogether, more volatile, high turnover and no real programming to speak of. A couple of years in state will be the most boring nap session you've ever had unless you make the effort to get involved in classes or a job. You may want to bear that in mind when talking pleas. County-- unstable. State-- a little longer perhaps but opportunities to do stuff.
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to miamac For This Useful Post:
gvalliant (07-12-2018), Minor activist (07-21-2018), Rc3000 (07-17-2018)
  #13  
Old 07-12-2018, 10:12 PM
rockchalk1 rockchalk1 is online now
Registered User
 

Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Chicago
Posts: 779
Thanks: 17
Thanked 971 Times in 481 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rc3000 View Post
Thanks. That helps alot. I appreciate your response.
No problem. One other thing I can add, is that this site has been an invaluable tool in helping both my husband and me in terms of knowing what to expect from the minute he was sentenced and as for support during his sentence. The wealth of information and support has been tremendous.

While everyone has different experiences and points of view, most people are supportive and here to help and won't judge. Learn the site, use the search tool, and find as much information as you can. Don't be afraid to ask questions, and no question is a stupid question. My husband fortunately, only received an 18 months sentence, will serve just under 14, and thank god the time is whizzing by. We are down to just over 6-1/2 months. It's a chapter of our lives we want to learn from and move forward, but what we have learned about the system and those less fortunate has been ingrained in us and I know it has affected my husband deeply. He wants to pay it forward when he gets out and help those less fortunate than him, so to some degree, while I wouldn't wish this experience on anyone, it did get him off the workaholic fast track of life and maybe it was just meant to be and things happen for a reason!!

Like I said, use your resources, get help if you need it, and stay strong, be there for your family and wife and talk it out if need be, without shutting down. It is hard, but she needs you as much as you need her!
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to rockchalk1 For This Useful Post:
gvalliant (07-12-2018), maxie'smom (07-25-2018), Rc3000 (07-17-2018)
  #14  
Old 07-12-2018, 10:26 PM
gvalliant gvalliant is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Costa Mesa, California, USA
Posts: 541
Thanks: 967
Thanked 1,082 Times in 453 Posts
Default

Former member of the military can be helpful. Almost all yards in CDCR have veterans groups and that military comaraderie exists in prison as it does outside.

Do you have an honorable discharge and any VA disability rating? That can be beneficial to your family if / while you are incarcerated.

Focus more on that military positive; focus less on letting the SO aspect overwhelm your thinking. Miamac's comments I hope minimize some of that.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to gvalliant For This Useful Post:
Rc3000 (07-17-2018)
  #15  
Old 07-12-2018, 11:04 PM
rockchalk1 rockchalk1 is online now
Registered User
 

Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Chicago
Posts: 779
Thanks: 17
Thanked 971 Times in 481 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by miamac View Post
In CA state prisons--
*no colors to identify crimes


*no low/med facilities. you're housed according to your classification score that takes into account things like your age, your past history of incarceration, whether your crime is violent, ect.

*race trumps crime in CDCR facilities, so you'll first be celled up with another person of your race

*if that person presses you for your charges, you have zero obligation to show anything. if that becomes an issue, you request a cell move which may take some time. if you end up on a low level yard (1-2, 3 if SNY), it's highly unlikely that you'll be asked. those inmates have either done a good chunk of time and don't give two poops about why you're there or they're close to the gate themselves. any trouble they stir up risks losing their date.

*yes, people do sometimes reach outside the gate to look up your charges. my husband has been down 16 years and not once has he asked me to look anyone up. you go looking for dirt, you'll find it and then what? I'm telling you that because if you wind up on a yard with men who have done 10+ years, it's a safe bet that they don't give a damn why you're there. young people and those who still have reasons to watch their back tend to be the ones who go looking.

I honestly think you're going to be just fine. A year in county will be a year you'll never want to repeat. It's just a different game altogether, more volatile, high turnover and no real programming to speak of. A couple of years in state will be the most boring nap session you've ever had unless you make the effort to get involved in classes or a job. You may want to bear that in mind when talking pleas. County-- unstable. State-- a little longer perhaps but opportunities to do stuff.
For someone that doesn't know anything about facilities other than Federal, I thank you as well. This is enlightening to me. I have heard that Federal are better, but never really knew any of the differences.

Everyone where my husband is pretty much a white collar or a drug felon. I don't look them up looking for dirt or for him to watch his back. No one gets beat up where he is, unless you're dumb enough to gamble in there and then not pay your debt. When you're in close quarters with guys, and they're asking you personal questions, and some are still trying to "hustle" you want to know what you're dealing with. Some think they're the jailhouse lawyers, some not. Etc.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to rockchalk1 For This Useful Post:
Rc3000 (07-17-2018)
  #16  
Old 07-21-2018, 07:26 PM
Rc3000 Rc3000 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 10
Thanks: 19
Thanked 9 Times in 3 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rc3000 View Post
Hello all. This is my first post here. I just wanted to get some information from people who are familiar with the proceedings leading up to my first hearing, what my lawyer should be doing in the two months leading up to that hearing, what kinds of plea deals I may be looking at. So as of right now I am facing a max of 8 years depending on how the prosecutor decides to proceed. I am not sure how much information I can give here without putting myself in more danger. I also would like to know what I should be expecting if/when I go to jail/prison. I have heard some pretty frightening things. Will I be placed immediately in a separate wing from GP? I am in California and formerly served as a military police officer, which could also make me a marked man. For the first time in my life I have been experiencing anxiety. If anyone can help please let me know. I would be willing to talk with anyone privately and share more details so you are able to better advise me. Thank you. God bless.
So, we just had a "Family team meeting" with CPS, and left very frustrated. They are pretty much trying to pile on as much as possible to make sure neither my wife or myself get our children back. We explained that we could not speak much about the case due to our criminal hearing pending, so they used that as a scare tactic. If we don't talk and confess to whatever accusations they present, they cannot recommend reunification for my wife. They pretty much let me know I have no chance of reunification with either child. I left with a sunken feeling. The girls cried and begged but the people in the room only responded with smirks and condenscending remarks. These new accusations they say they have, are really making me lose hope but the thought of being withmy daughters and my wifeagain one day keeps me from losing it. I lost my job last week behind all of this and am struggling to stay above water. If you believe in prayer, please send some up for me. My so called friends and brothers have pretty much turned their backs on us. Me and my wife only have each other at this point it seems.
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 07-21-2018, 10:18 PM
miamac's Avatar
miamac miamac is online now
Site Moderator Gone Mad

Staff Superstar Winner PTO Site Moderator 

 

Join Date: May 2013
Location: ORnativeAZresCAtied
Posts: 9,793
Thanks: 12,809
Thanked 18,524 Times in 6,714 Posts
Default

Rc, this is probably the toughest stretch you've ever been through and I applaud you for reaching out for support. Please keep posting and I'll be praying for you and your family.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to miamac For This Useful Post:
Rc3000 (07-22-2018)
  #18  
Old 07-22-2018, 02:18 AM
Sarianna's Avatar
Sarianna Sarianna is online now
Midnight Sun Moderator

PTO Site Moderator 

Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Swinging from the chandelier
Posts: 2,381
Thanks: 12,352
Thanked 2,989 Times in 1,374 Posts
Default

My thoughts are with your family
__________________
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Sarianna For This Useful Post:
Rc3000 (07-22-2018)
  #19  
Old 07-22-2018, 07:29 AM
sidewalker sidewalker is offline
CA, LASO, site sug. SUPER MOD

PTO Super Moderator Staff Superstar Winner 

Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: ca usa
Posts: 30,209
Thanks: 52,828
Thanked 27,790 Times in 14,063 Posts
Default

you were right to not speak with cps about any details.
I dont know much about them and what things need to be done but clearly they are not helping the kids. Poor babies.
You are gonna need an attny to deal with this. Not sure if your attny that is handling the criminal aspect would do this type of work but......


Im sorry your family is going thru this.



Im so sorry your friends and family have abandoned you.
I was lucky in that mine did not (hubby is the one with the charges)
__________________
My windows aren't dirty

That's my dog's nose art

Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to sidewalker For This Useful Post:
Rc3000 (07-22-2018)
  #20  
Old 07-22-2018, 01:26 PM
Free At Last 5 Free At Last 5 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: KY, USA
Posts: 119
Thanks: 11
Thanked 210 Times in 85 Posts
Default

Thought I would just chime in on your MP background. That will likely not be much of a problem with inmates. Be prepared that some prison staff could give you a little lip about it, since many are former military. I wish I had something to help with what you are going through with CPS, but do know that they will lean toward allowing your wife have custody after the dust settles. There will be plenty of time to work out your own visitation/custody issues, and please try to stay away from imagining the worst, because it will likely end up somewhere better than that. I think you did the right thing in protecting you and your family given the pending legal action. All you can do is take it one day at a time, and you’re probably doing better than most!
__________________
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Free At Last 5 For This Useful Post:
Rc3000 (07-22-2018)
  #21  
Old 07-22-2018, 04:42 PM
Rc3000 Rc3000 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 10
Thanks: 19
Thanked 9 Times in 3 Posts
Default

Wow. I am overwhelmed by the fact that people who have known me and my wife for years and supposedly loved us, have turned their backs on us, yet here I sit, confessing to strangers who are being nothing but encouraging and helpful. I am truly humbled. You guys are so amazing. With all of the boulders of shame and guilt that have been falling on this house, you guys are allowing me to see a foundation on which I can still hope to build again. Confessing things to my wife have been hard because I have hurt her so bad, yet she assures me she knows who her real husband is and she is not going to leave me. I know this separation will be tough but it means alot to know she is sticking by my side right now. Thank you all for your responses and advice. They mean alot, they truly do.
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Rc3000 For This Useful Post:
maxie'smom (07-25-2018), miamac (07-23-2018), Sarianna (07-23-2018), sidewalker (07-24-2018)
  #22  
Old 07-22-2018, 05:59 PM
beachgypsy beachgypsy is offline
Registered User
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: California
Posts: 35
Thanks: 23
Thanked 37 Times in 18 Posts
Default

I've been reading these past post, I wanted to reach out to you and your wife and say that your impression of the people on this site is correct. It's a source of support and encouragement. Unlike society and unfortunately some friends and family, here there is no judgement. Just as much understanding as anyone can hope for. I'm so sorry about how things are being handled with your children. Its awful that those who seem to be in charge don't see the harm they are inflicting on the children.

I believe in miracles, especially where children are concerned. I will send positive vibes to you and your family that all be worked out to the greater good of your whole family.

Peace and love
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to beachgypsy For This Useful Post:
miamac (07-23-2018), Rc3000 (07-23-2018), Sarianna (07-23-2018)
  #23  
Old 07-23-2018, 08:17 AM
Rc3000 Rc3000 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 10
Thanks: 19
Thanked 9 Times in 3 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by beachgypsy View Post
I've been reading these past post, I wanted to reach out to you and your wife and say that your impression of the people on this site is correct. It's a source of support and encouragement. Unlike society and unfortunately some friends and family, here there is no judgement. Just as much understanding as anyone can hope for. I'm so sorry about how things are being handled with your children. Its awful that those who seem to be in charge don't see the harm they are inflicting on the children.

I believe in miracles, especially where children are concerned. I will send positive vibes to you and your family that all be worked out to the greater good of your whole family.

Peace and love
Thank you. I appreciate it.
Reply With Quote
  #24  
Old 07-25-2018, 07:12 PM
maxie'smom maxie'smom is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 13
Thanks: 59
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rc3000 View Post
So, we just had a "Family team meeting" with CPS, and left very frustrated. They are pretty much trying to pile on as much as possible to make sure neither my wife or myself get our children back. We explained that we could not speak much about the case due to our criminal hearing pending, so they used that as a scare tactic. If we don't talk and confess to whatever accusations they present, they cannot recommend reunification for my wife. They pretty much let me know I have no chance of reunification with either child. I left with a sunken feeling. The girls cried and begged but the people in the room only responded with smirks and condenscending remarks. These new accusations they say they have, are really making me lose hope but the thought of being withmy daughters and my wifeagain one day keeps me from losing it. I lost my job last week behind all of this and am struggling to stay above water. If you believe in prayer, please send some up for me. My so called friends and brothers have pretty much turned their backs on us. Me and my wife only have each other at this point it seems.
I work for CPS. Let me know if you need any help navigating the system. Goodluck with everything.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to maxie'smom For This Useful Post:
sidewalker (07-26-2018)
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Help...BF facing gun charges...but there was no gun DollFace13 Prison & Criminal Legal Help! 14 09-22-2010 07:47 PM
Am I facing charges? Mz Jin Prison & Criminal Legal Help! 25 12-20-2009 06:45 PM
How Do You Cope When Facing Charges? Twilightofidols PTO Lounge 5 05-30-2008 09:14 AM
Help!!! my man is facing new charges jennalovesmark Prison & Criminal Legal Help! 0 02-27-2007 02:06 PM


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 12:15 PM.
Copyright © 2001- 2017 Prison Talk Online
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Website Design & Custom vBulletin Skins by: Relivo Media
Message Board Statistics