Welcome to the Prison Talk Online Community! Take a Minute and Sign Up Today!






Go Back   Prison Talk > RESOURCE CENTER > Drug & Alcohol Treatment & Rehabilitation
Register Entertainment FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

Drug & Alcohol Treatment & Rehabilitation For those whose lives have been touched by addiction to drugs, alcohol or otherwise. For addicts and those who care about them.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 08-01-2009, 03:16 AM
missmyhome missmyhome is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: King County WA
Posts: 21
Thanks: 6
Thanked 4 Times in 3 Posts
Cool An addict in recover and anxiety meds..

Hello all. I am an addict named Elise, who has two + years clean off heroin (my drug of choice)
It has been a really hard road...just recently I went to jail on a Probation Violation, and kicked Suboxone...the last leg in my journey to be totally drug free...don't listen to those who tell you Suboxone is easy to kick, because I am here to tell you it ISN'T. It's hell!! Especially in the King County (Seattle) Jail where they would not even give me Immodium until my temp dropped to 97.6 degrees and I was fainting... horrible nitemare from hell..but it's over no and I'm back on probation doing well.
Just one thing, however..
I am and have been a sufferor of HORRIBLE anxiety attacks since I was very young. I started panick attacks that kept me home for days when I was 12..and am 22 now. That being said, I tried very hard to NOT take my RX Ativan (much like Xanax..same drug family) when I got out, but my anxiety left me to the point where I could not leave my house..
I have a bunch of community service to complete as well as court ordered N.A meetings and trying to find employement, sooo not leaving my house is not an option! I really feel OK about taking my benzos, because I have NOT been abusing it, just getting a weeks worth at once. And my sister monitors my use and AGREES I need to be taking it as does my Psychiatrist. I was just wondering if any of you who are in recovery/clean and sobery have similar situations with anxiety/agoraphobia/depression and taking benzos/other drugs while being in recovery?? Feed back is appreciated!
Thx!
ELise
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #2  
Old 08-08-2009, 12:24 AM
missmyhome missmyhome is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: King County WA
Posts: 21
Thanks: 6
Thanked 4 Times in 3 Posts
Default

Nothing...? seriously...?
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 08-11-2009, 09:05 PM
SpicaRigel's Avatar
SpicaRigel SpicaRigel is offline
*Stargazing*
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Salinas, CA
Posts: 11,465
Thanks: 14,125
Thanked 12,599 Times in 5,648 Posts
Default

Hi Elise, im Dana and i am in recovery also.
I feel you on the anxiety attacks...luckily i havent had one in awhile.
My feelings on your situation are this...its such a risky thing to try and cope with anxiety and depression by using benzo's. But i dont think its neccessarily a bad thing, just risky.
My own experience has been that if i try and deal with issues, mentally, physically and emotionally by taking something that changes me from the neck up....well...i f*ck up big time, every time. Thats just me.
I have known a few, a very few who can seem to use some medications and not run into trouble or go back to their drug of choice.
have you gotten a sponser yet? I think that would be very helpful for you.
You have alot on your plate that's for sure, but you can get thru it one thing at a time. First things first.
You are courageous to make the effort to make a better life for yourself, and as you know it isnt easy, but im here to tell you it will get better.
I brought a DUI on myself and that was what it took to wake me up that this disease is really powerful and that i cant do it alone.
I wasnt court ordered but i went thru the Recovery Center in Monterey,moved into a sober living enviornment, and went back to meetings.
It wasnt easy...i had no job,no money, the center gave me bus passes so i could get the bus everyday, and i hit a low that was so low i thought this is it, i messed my life up beyond repair, it was over, i never felt so alone and frightened,never...never ever had i felt that kind of emptiness. all i could feel was sadness, anxiety,fear, lonliness...despair. i cried on the bus, i cried when i got off the bus and cried all the way to the house. This house was way out in no where land, three miles from the bustop, and i would walk in the cold gray drizzle just crying, i felt powerless to change the situation. helpless. I felt like a victim.
Out of desperation to find some kind of comfort i began picking the wildflowers that grew along the road on the way home and i would put them in a glass of water and place it on the coffee table so the guys at the house could enjoy them. Well, they said they were weeds and didnt like them.
But i kept putting them there.
One morning it was freezing as i was hoofing it the 3 miles to the bus, and i was crying and i just said out loud,"God help me!" and i said it again, and again, over and over...i prayed for help, and then very very slowly i started praying for other people, for God to help them.
I kept doing that, and im not sure when it happened but my mind clicked over and i felt this little sense of hope.
And i focused on that hope. and that hope began to grow, and grow, and grow, and it keeps growing.
Im sorry to go on so long, but i feel like i was so hopeless that if i can in anyway help another person find that little glimmer of hope, and help that person believe that there is hope no matter how dark, and lonely and empty you feel, there IS hope! And you can find it and hold on to it and let it grow and grow.
Dont focus on the negative and how bad everything seems. Focus on the positive, and the positive is...there is hope!
Focus on the negative, and yes it will grow and grow.
Focus on the positive, and yes it will grow and grow.
Follow me? It sounds so simple...and it is simple!
Talk to your doctor about the medications.
get a sponser.
Make friends in NA. They will be the best kind of friends you could ever dream of.
I dont know why anyone didnt answer your post earlier...everyone is caught up in their own stuff.
Lol! i posted that i had visited Dr.Bobs house in Akron where Alcoholics Anonymous was born, thinking people would be like wow how cool! But no one has said anything...lol...it is what it is Elise.
I hope i helped you.
Please let us know how you are doing.
We do care...and i care.
This was probably all mumble jumble but i hope it helps.
So, let us know,ok!
thank you,
dana
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to SpicaRigel For This Useful Post:
Danya (08-12-2009), missmyhome (08-13-2009)
  #4  
Old 08-11-2009, 09:38 PM
Danya's Avatar
Danya Danya is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: May 2009
Location: Me-Michigan Him-Florida
Posts: 710
Thanks: 1,524
Thanked 1,281 Times in 439 Posts
Default

I tried taking xanax when I got clean too, and I failed MISERABLY! I understand what you are going through with the anxiety, I have it too, but benzos will most likely end up causing more problems than it's worth. I ended up back in rehab with a major addiction to them. Have you looked into Lexapro? It isn't addictive and really truly helps alot with anxiety. Good luck
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Danya For This Useful Post:
SpicaRigel (08-13-2009)
  #5  
Old 08-11-2009, 09:43 PM
Danya's Avatar
Danya Danya is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: May 2009
Location: Me-Michigan Him-Florida
Posts: 710
Thanks: 1,524
Thanked 1,281 Times in 439 Posts
Default

Spica, I think it's really cool you were able to go to Dr.Bob's house! That would be really cool, I am in the program too. I understand what you are saying about your experience helping someone else, I try to do that too. I guess I don't feel like I can really share my experience unless it's face to face-like it's too complicated to type it out so that it makes sense, you know?
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Danya For This Useful Post:
SpicaRigel (08-13-2009)
  #6  
Old 08-13-2009, 09:55 PM
SpicaRigel's Avatar
SpicaRigel SpicaRigel is offline
*Stargazing*
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Salinas, CA
Posts: 11,465
Thanks: 14,125
Thanked 12,599 Times in 5,648 Posts
Default

Thanx Danya...and thank you for reminding me about Xanax...good God just ONE of those caused me a major relapse! Aye!
That's why i said it's so risky, and i do hope the OP comes back to read what we wrote...i hope she does!
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 08-13-2009, 10:15 PM
missmyhome missmyhome is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: King County WA
Posts: 21
Thanks: 6
Thanked 4 Times in 3 Posts
Default

Wow, Dana (SpicaRigel)...just wow...
that post brought me to absolute tears..such a beautiful and heart felt response. I feel like I've been going thru alot of what you mentioned. Two months ago, I got pulled over for running a stop sign and informed I had a warrant out of Oregon (My home with my family is in Washington) and was extradited back to Oregon. It's been so damn hard, staying with people who cannot really afford to put me up and not having money/food, but what you're trying to convey to me about thinking positively is EXACTLY what my boyfriend keeps trying to tell me. I'm currently waiting for an Interstate Compact approval before I can be home with my bf and everyone else, and I suffer from some health problems plus the anxiety. It's been pretty hard, but today I finally started praying again and trying to be positive and guess what? my boyfriend said the DOC called him and they're going to come over and check out our house to make sure its an "appropriate" place for me to live! yay yay yay! that means they're looking into my case and haven't denied it! There's hope! I'm so happy! And PS: I haven't been taking the benzos, partially because I don't have them anymore and mostly because my sponsor tells me it would be wise not to.
Anyways, I'm honored you took the time out to post such a sweet reply. Bless you sweetie

Last edited by missmyhome; 08-13-2009 at 10:17 PM..
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to missmyhome For This Useful Post:
SpicaRigel (08-14-2009)
  #8  
Old 08-17-2009, 04:43 PM
SpicaRigel's Avatar
SpicaRigel SpicaRigel is offline
*Stargazing*
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Salinas, CA
Posts: 11,465
Thanks: 14,125
Thanked 12,599 Times in 5,648 Posts
Default

How's it going for you??
Remember its 1 day at a time...
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 08-23-2009, 11:53 PM
missmyhome missmyhome is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: King County WA
Posts: 21
Thanks: 6
Thanked 4 Times in 3 Posts
Default

It's going alright. I finally have an appointment with a psychiatrist on friday of this week, so i'm really happy about that. I have met a couple of really supportive friends down here in oregon, so that's good..but i'm having a hard time shaking the feelings i get when i think about my relationship with my abusive mother...but still, going to my AA meetings and doing my community service, just praying and waiting for the day I get to go home!
xoxo
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 08-24-2009, 02:41 PM
Robs Baby Robs Baby is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: NH,MA
Posts: 26
Thanks: 1
Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts
Default

Im a recovering heroin addict and have bad anxiety. They put me on benzos and I was fine at first having someone monitor me but that didnt last long and I started to go back to old habits lying saying I wasnt getting them etc. Eventually I was abusing them bad and ended up using heroin. So I realized I had to stop. Prozac helped me and also did celexa. Good Luck and congrats on your sobriety

Last edited by Robs Baby; 08-24-2009 at 02:42 PM..
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
ativan, benzos, probation, recovery, xanax

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 05:37 AM.
Copyright © 2001- 2017 Prison Talk Online
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Website Design & Custom vBulletin Skins by: Relivo Media
Message Board Statistics