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Old 03-09-2012, 12:46 PM
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Default How can *nobody* in the system care when a 16 year old girl is missing?

This really does not have anything to do with prison but since the father is in prison I am going to use this site to hopefully get some answers.

As some of you know my child ran away Feb. 28th. I reported her that day. When I told the officers they was in the middle of watching a 3 on 3 game so they made it clear they wasn't really interested in taking the report. The only thing they had me do was sign my name on a report and asked me my daughter's basic information. No one asked me for her phone number or anything. No one asked me for a picture of her, her nickname nothing. So on Monday I called the jail to make sure the report was filed and it was. I talked to a lady and my question was how many time can a child runaway before the justice system steps in. I was told its not a crime to runaway. Okay but then when parents get tired of having a revolving door its a crime not to let the child back in. Then they wonder why these children think they are so grown at such an young age. My daughter has ran away before but she has come home the same day. One day she came home 2 days later and we later found out she was pregnant. So I think that gave her a taste of just how wild she can be not being at home so whenever rules are enforced she just figured she would run away again. This is the most disrespect she has been toward me calling me a bitch ass and talking smart left and right out of her mouth.

Monday after she ran away I called her job and asked them if I bring the report that she is a runaway could I pick up her last check. At first they told me yes, then when the day come they told me only she can pick her check up. The manager told me that if she came to pick her check up that they would try stalling her and call me but they could not hold her long. You think I ever received a phone call. I know my child does not have an ID to cash her check so someone had to cash it for her. You think anyone is trying to check where the check was cashed at or who cashed it for her. You think they are trying to locate the GPS where she is with her cellphone. Then if that is not enough today she tells me her counselor at school told her just to get emancipated. The funny thing is I withdrew my child from school and it is known that she is a runaway at her school. So how in the hell is a grown ass woman telling my child some mess like that instead of trying to help and find out where she is, so she can get back home. Why is it that everyone that should be helping is acting like they are doing my child a favor like I am some crackhead and my child would be in danger being back home. They can look at my child and see that she was very well taken care of. So I am just not understanding how is it that a runaway is being helped to stay a runaway?

I am waiting for this counselor to call me because I would really like to know what the hell was this lady thinking tell my child some mess like that. Thats what is the problem so many people stooping to these children's level telling them what they want to hear. They don't tell them the facts. My child is not going to be able to enroll in to another school without her birth certificate or other information. My child will not be able to enroll in to another school without that school contacting her old school and finding out she is a runaway. She will not be able to get a job because she do not have her information. She can not sign up for Job Corp without a parent. She is 16 and somebody should just tell her at 16 YOU ARE NOT GROWN.

Today
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Old 03-09-2012, 12:59 PM
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I know that you are frustrated and I am frustrated for you and with you. I don't know if race has anything to do with it. What race are you? I lost my grandson to the streets in Houston. I called, I begged, I pleaded, I reported but it fell on indifferent, uncaring ears! The Houston cops did not care. I am a white lady so I don't know if my race had anything to do with it or not. I believe they just don't care. He was a smart, polite, kid who took to the streets and changed into a monster! I promise they just did not care! I feel the pain because I have been there! He would curse me and bow up to hit me! He would have never done that. Since I could not get them to help me, I had to let him go. He got in trouble, of course. I wish that I could find the words to help you!
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Old 03-09-2012, 01:28 PM
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Yeah your right I changed my title because they just don't care regardless. I remember when the police use to protect and serve now they just serve. Its sad my child had goals but its hard not to believe the hype when one there is no father in the home and two everything bad is just so much fun. Children live for the moment and they can't see what comes out of the moment. It sucks to have to sit back and watch a train derail. It could turn out good if she was raised in a bad home because then she would be motivated to get out there and figure it out. Since she has been giving all she wanted easily she has no motivation and she don't know how to get out there and get it done. She gives up at the first excuse and the sad part about it is the person that is allowing her to stay at their house is not the one that is going to have to put up with it when it goes bad.
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Old 03-09-2012, 03:15 PM
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I know all too well how hard it is on parents when a child decides to wild out. If we can't do anything, and nobody else can either, or doesn't care enough to even try, what can you do except wait for the trainwreck that is definitely coming for your child. I have no advice, but I hope she comes to her senses before something bad, like prison, grabs her. Be strong, and take care of yourself.
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Old 03-09-2012, 03:22 PM
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I know! I know! The person who is looking like they really care about her is saying what she wants to hear right now! You are the bad person! Yeah. I have so been there! My grandson even told the folks that he moved in with that I was to old for him to live with. lol. But I was young enough to take him in, buy his stuff, get him in school and take care of him money wise. It hurt then but its funny now! You are the authority figure and right now, she does not want that. She does not have a clue. She really thinks she is on her own right now. I am so disappointed the councelor would tell her crap like that and I would proclaim it loud and clear. My heart goes out to you because I know it hurts. I will be so glad when your LO gets home to help you. You need his support!
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Old 03-09-2012, 07:41 PM
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When I was 16 I rand away my mom reported me as a run away 3 hours later the cops found me and I was taken in to custody it's crime to the state of California to run away this happend in oc. Of what I was told its weather I like it or not I had to be with my parents. It was my first time running away I was in juvenile detention center for 15day and my mom wanted she could of kept me longer...
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Old 03-10-2012, 07:04 AM
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AHHH!! I hate teenage girls...I have raised 3 and have 3 more to go...I live in smalltown USA, so it is probably easier, than in a more populated area...Out of the three 'adults' one lived at home till 20, lives less than a mile a way, great job and is now 24. She never ran away. 2nd daughter is now 21. Ranaway several times, and actually lived with my sister for a while, on the other side of the country. Now, she works at the same place as I do, I can see her backyard across the river. Just passed her drivers test. Looking for a car. My third daughter, A, is now 19. Just moved back into my basement, and had her drug and alcohol evaluation yesterday.Thursday she registered back into high school. Requirements of moving back in.. She left home when she was 16. I can search her belongings and I count my 14 year old prescriptions in front of my 19 year old 3x a week. I think that being in a small town has made it easier for my children to come back home when they are ready, less 'friends', less transportation. I guess my point is, I have went with the idea of, if you want to be gown. Be grown. We have always maintained a strong family unit. And we are here when you are ready. So far it has worked. A is still a work in progress, her drug test has proved she hasn't used since she has come home. But I know that is no promise for the future, and school will take her almost 2 years to finish. She has some work to do to get ready for her future, hopefully, I can get her back on track.
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Old 03-18-2012, 03:16 AM
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i'm so sorry to hear that. all i can say is call on the Lord. He hears your cries. i'm praying for you love :}
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Old 03-21-2012, 01:48 AM
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i was 16 when i left home and i got into job corps without a parent. I just told them my parents passed away and it was job corps or a foster home and they gave me a waiver. There are also a lot of places you can go to get shelter food clothes ect that wont turn you in as a runaway especially churches and homeless shelters. Taking a pic around to those kinds of places would be a good idea.
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Old 03-21-2012, 06:16 PM
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Thats pretty sad you mean with today's technology some fool didn't even research to see if they can find a death certificate on your mom. My daughter keeps thinking she is going to just get emanicipated without me having to sign my rights over or anything. She needs to go to Job Corp and I will help her do that but I am not signing my rights over just to let her stay with someone that feel they should be blessed with a child that did not have to sacrifice to raise since she was born. Thats like someone asking me for a million dollars without knowing me its just not going to happen. That is what my child is worth to me plus some, I be damn if someone else get the credit of all the hard work I put in.
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Old 03-21-2012, 07:27 PM
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Like you said, todays technology. Its pretty easy to come up with anything from birth and death certificates to fake ids. I used a fake obituary, just printed it put it over someone elses then printed it all on a piece of news print paper took all of maybe 20 min at a library and a dollar at a craft shop. And to make the imbeded seal on certificates just a piece of soft wood and a dull point like a crochet hook. People especially older people dont realize how easy it is or what to look for.
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Old 03-21-2012, 10:23 PM
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Well hell if she can do all of that, then she needs to be out there being grown. Thats the way she better do it then, because I will not assist her in ruining her life. Do you have any regrets from running away, I know every household is different so I am just asking. I left home at 12 years old. Ended in Foster care, got pregnant at 14, then returned back to my mom. Had my own place at 15 and have been pretty much away from home every since. However, I now know the hurt I put my mom through, I know my life did not have to be as hard as it was and I know now that trying to be grown before its time gets you a lifetime of heartache.
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Old 03-21-2012, 10:31 PM
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Im so sorry you are going thru this. I filed 11 runaway reports on my daughter in a 12 month period. She eventually ran away from Texas to Florida by using her grandmas credit card to buy herself a plane ticket. She spent a yr in a juvenile center. She is 21 now and a wonderful daughter and will admit she was extremely stupid. I thought i would never get thru those years though. Im so sorry and I know you are exhausted by it all. My 17 yr old son went missing last summer for 5 weeks and the police said there was nothing they could do. They wouldnt even look for him. He is not as wonderful as my daughter but things are improving thank goodness. Again Im so sorry. There are no easy answers.
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Old 03-21-2012, 10:36 PM
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It is exhausting especially when the law will not step in. On March 30th I have to go to court to answer the question of why she is not going to school. You know that is a good question. On March 30th my son passed away at 3 weeks old do you really think I want to be in court answering some damn question I do not have the answer to. I am suppose to be traveling out of town to go and put flowers on my son's grave, not in court.
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Old 03-21-2012, 11:41 PM
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Are you sure she is OK? Do you have any idea where she is? I'm a little worried since she didn't pick up her pay check. How are you holding up? That's a BIG DEAL, Love. I'm concerned for you both.

Here is a link to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children:
http://www.missingkids.com/missingki..._US&PageId=244

They are a great organization that might be able to help you get law enforcement's attention.
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Old 03-22-2012, 12:17 AM
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If i had to do it over again i would do things differently but i dont regret anything. If i wasnt for my past making me into who i am now i know i wouldnt be able to wait these couple years for my fiance. I did get pregnant at 17 with my daughter and i dont think id be able to change that even if i had the option lol. After getting out of that abusive marriage i met the father of my boys and apart from this bs lil charge ive had it pretty good. I connected with my mom when i got pregnant found out she divorced my abusive stepfather and we're closer now than ever. (Ok the charge isnt bs, hes guilty but three years because he didnt go to the police and tell them his brother was selling drugs, ridiculous.)
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Old 03-22-2012, 07:32 PM
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Yes she is doing okay. My mom talk to her now and then. She did pick up her last check, they just never called me and told me she was there. She post a lot of negative things on FB that she is doing, but she is alive. We are in the works of something and I might inbox you in a minute to get your opinion.

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Originally Posted by countryzgirl View Post
Are you sure she is OK? Do you have any idea where she is? I'm a little worried since she didn't pick up her pay check. How are you holding up? That's a BIG DEAL, Love. I'm concerned for you both.

Here is a link to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children:
http://www.missingkids.com/missingki..._US&PageId=244

They are a great organization that might be able to help you get law enforcement's attention.
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Old 03-23-2012, 12:13 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Klewis View Post
Yes she is doing okay. My mom talk to her now and then. She did pick up her last check, they just never called me and told me she was there. She post a lot of negative things on FB that she is doing, but she is alive. We are in the works of something and I might inbox you in a minute to get your opinion.
I'm glad she is OK. Feel free to PM me. So sorry you're going through this.
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