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  #1  
Old 09-19-2016, 02:44 PM
Jean Grey Jean Grey is offline
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Smile Intro--Jean Grey from Michigan

Hello, I am a 52 yr old woman who started dating a man 5 months after he was released from prison in 2012. I have 2 grown daughters & 3, soon to be 4, grandchildren. I look forward to all of the discussions & insight I hope to gain on this site. Thx!
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Old 09-19-2016, 03:36 PM
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Welcome to Prison Talk and thank you for posting your introduction.
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Old 09-19-2016, 06:23 PM
Osugirl Osugirl is offline
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Old 09-19-2016, 08:28 PM
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Welcome! As you gain insight, I'm sure you can share your experiences with us, thanks for joining!!!
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Old 09-19-2016, 08:32 PM
Jean Grey Jean Grey is offline
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Welcome! As you gain insight, I'm sure you can share your experiences with us, thanks for joining!!!
Thanks! I do want to support him, but 3 years and all I get now are excuses why he wants to wait to get married?! I've never shacked up before in my life and I don't like it at all! I feel like I'm missing something
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Old 09-19-2016, 08:35 PM
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Thanks! I do want to support him, but 3 years and all I get now are excuses why he wants to wait to get married?! I've never shacked up before in my life and I don't like it at all! I feel like I'm missing something
That's frustrating, are his excuses valid, thought out reasons to him, they could be.
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Old 09-19-2016, 08:53 PM
Jean Grey Jean Grey is offline
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That's frustrating, are his excuses valid, thought out reasons to him, they could be.
It's very frustrating and you tell me:
1) I don't want my credit (good because he's been in prison) connected to your bad credit so let's wait until bankruptcy is over - VALID
2) He waited until I brought it back up wks after bankruptcy: It just doesn't feel right, you're still not very good at managing your money - __________
3) My youngest daughter came back from 1st yr in college to get back on track: I don't want us to make plans until you get your daughter together because she can't come with us. (she was 20 yrs old)
4) Got my daughter back on track with a summer job, back in school closer to her support system, stays on campus w/job at the school. - _____________
5) Okay so here's the last/latest one: I just want to make sure there aren't any "issues".
Mind you my girls are grown and out of the house. He's the one with the most issues, not me. My financial issues are nil, I pay bills on time, my car is paid for & insured, I receive SS Disability so my income although small is consistent. He had back surgery in Feb so can't do the same work he used to: working on cars. I keep myself together, which I did before we started dating & raised 2 kids as a single mother. I've done more by myself than he has EVER done but he thinks the issues are all me! No, I know to seek professional help if/when necessary but he won't for himself. Gets defensive whenever I try to talk to him about US & our lack of communication and get the feeling he just wants to be in a relationship for the benefits without putting forth any effort. A roof over his head, sex, home cooking, family get-togethers. Maybe that's what he thinks is a "normal" life? One without conflict, but I told him that's not reality. All relationships face challenges it's call LIFE!
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Old 09-19-2016, 09:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jean Grey View Post
It's very frustrating and you tell me:
1) I don't want my credit (good because he's been in prison) connected to your bad credit so let's wait until bankruptcy is over - VALID
2) He waited until I brought it back up wks after bankruptcy: It just doesn't feel right, you're still not very good at managing your money - __________
3) My youngest daughter came back from 1st yr in college to get back on track: I don't want us to make plans until you get your daughter together because she can't come with us. (she was 20 yrs old)
4) Got my daughter back on track with a summer job, back in school closer to her support system, stays on campus w/job at the school. - _____________
5) Okay so here's the last/latest one: I just want to make sure there aren't any "issues".
Mind you my girls are grown and out of the house. He's the one with the most issues, not me. My financial issues are nil, I pay bills on time, my car is paid for & insured, I receive SS Disability so my income although small is consistent. He had back surgery in Feb so can't do the same work he used to: working on cars. I keep myself together, which I did before we started dating & raised 2 kids as a single mother. I've done more by myself than he has EVER done but he thinks the issues are all me! No, I know to seek professional help if/when necessary but he won't for himself. Gets defensive whenever I try to talk to him about US & our lack of communication and get the feeling he just wants to be in a relationship for the benefits without putting forth any effort. A roof over his head, sex, home cooking, family get-togethers. Maybe that's what he thinks is a "normal" life? One without conflict, but I told him that's not reality. All relationships face challenges it's call LIFE!

Hmm, sounds like you are presenting his side in a very fair, open manner. His reasons are weak. Looks like doesn't want to marry because things are pretty cozy for him, has great benefits, without responsibility.
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Old 09-19-2016, 09:58 PM
Jean Grey Jean Grey is offline
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He's really a great guy it's just that I would like for him to be honest about his intentions. But then again like you said, he's comfortable. I hate to do like my mom & clear out when he's gone but I gotta do what's best for me. Too old for b.s. relationship games. Thanks so much for your input, seems like typical insecure man stuff as opposed to prison stuff.
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Old 09-20-2016, 03:22 AM
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Tell him he will lose you. He may smarten up/wake up and change.
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Old 09-20-2016, 04:41 AM
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Welcome! I'm almost your age (well..only a few more days...) but I get what you are saying. Good guy and comfortable guy is nice but I still want someone to rock my boat big time. I'm not talking sexually only but overall. I've put up with too much crap in my life, had my share of heartbreaks but I'm still way too young for "comfortable". Corny yes, but not comfortable. I can still rock someone's world and I want the same happening to me.
Go out there and find someone to rock your boat!!
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