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Old 10-07-2015, 02:24 PM
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Default Cheering your man up!

My man has been bumming the past couple of days. I can just hear it in his voice when we talk. I ask him what is wrong and he just says "I'm in prison that's all." This is his second bid, but it is my first. He normally has a very upbeat attitude about life and keeps me laughing and smiling (that's what I love about him) but once in a while he gets down for a few days and I want to help him! I try keeping him laughing, but I want to know what else I can do for him! Any suggestions on how to help pull him out of it when he is like this? Or should I just let him roll out of it on his own (which he always does! I just want to help if I can!)? What has work for you in the past with your LOs? Thank you in advance!
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Old 10-07-2015, 03:17 PM
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I just talk to my loved one on the phone for as long as it takes to cheer him up. Sometimes we have talked for 3 hours and I won't go until I know he's ok. We talk about anything except prison, because that's what the problem is, and I always manage to make him laugh no matter what
People are more than the worst thing they have ever done in their lives
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Old 10-08-2015, 01:37 AM
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Hi there we hall have down days and natural dips. I wouldnt worry too much about it , keep conversations lighthearted and upbeat.Talk about things you both like to do funny things that have happened.
I wouldnt keep asking what is wrong as there may not be a reason. Hopefully things will be back to normal in a week or so.
"Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again." Nelson Mandela.

Who cares what they say about us? Because when I am with you I am standing with an army
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Old 10-08-2015, 02:33 AM
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When he is feeling a little down we talk about anything but prison. In fact we tend not to talk about prison at all if we can avoid it.
Mrs Mroch
Just like the sunshine after rain
I'll come
To be with you will save the day
'Cos I know
When I'm with you again
You just steal my heart away

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Old 10-08-2015, 04:36 AM
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When mine is feeling down, he enjoys lighthearted conversations. I also send him some extra "feel good" stuff, to let him know how much he is loved. By that I mean silly quotes, nice cards, photos, drawings, love poems, upbeat stories especially about dogs (we both love dogs, and good dog story can cheer us both up), anything else I think might make him feel good for even just a second. I know I should do that more often anyway, but it's been so long I guess we both "forget." He's never really been one to want to talk about problems and feelings, but I let him know I am there for him one time, every time, the moment he mentions feeling down. I simply say, "You can talk to me." And we move on with our conversation. It works, because sometimes he does let it all out. I like to remind him he has that option, but he doesn't have to use it if he doesn't want to.

you were made to make it hurt.

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Old 10-08-2015, 06:45 AM
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Thank you for the responses! I try not to ask him what's wrong all the time. Once I see that his is down, I immediately stop asking what is wrong. I like the idea of the cards, poems, drawings, etc! Thank you! He is coming out of it already. He normally isn't down for very long, but it breaks my heart when he is! I think I am going to change things up a little bit and send in a card, maybe find something else to send with it. I send pictures every week with my letters, so I am going to try something different. I really like that idea!

I do try to keep the conversation on something else verses prison. If we talk about it, he mainly brings it up. We try to talk about what is going on with me at work, or how the family is on both of our sides. I make sure I keep him updated on the people he can not talk to.

Thank you again for the ideas! It really helps!
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Old 10-08-2015, 11:38 AM
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I'm big on surprises to cheer him up. I'll show up for an unplanned visit, send him some books, draw him a picture (he's an amazing artist and I'm the WORST, so there's humor in my artistry lol), write him a goofy poem (I like limericks), or send something heartfelt, like a postcard made with recent pics of his kids. Dirty pics of me work, too.

Just whatever to remind him that I'm thinking about him and love him.

Hopefully he cheers up soon!!
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Old 10-08-2015, 01:28 PM
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I have a stack of crazy, funny cards that I send him when things are starting to get him down. I'll also send different puzzles, poems, silly pics of our dog, write him a sexy story, pretty much anything to get his mind elsewhere and make him smile. Like Weeping Willow I'm horrible at drawing, but he's amazing so I'll attempt a picture like he does which usually looks like a mess on paper lol. He thinks it hilarious cause I'm so bad at it, but he loves how I attempt to keep him happy.

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Old 10-08-2015, 02:14 PM
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More great ideas! Thank you everyone! I like the idea of having a stack of cards already waiting to be sent out to him! We used to send sexy love letters to each other and we have not in MONTHS! We also used to ask a lot of questions in our letters and have stopped! I am going to start that back up immediately! It is crazy how you forget the little things sometimes matter so much to them and can change their mood quickly!

I think I am doing to try and draw something! He is like your LOs and is an AMAZING drawer! I can draw but I can paint! Maybe I can do something that way to just change things up! I made him a card today with a giraffe and hippo on the front (he is my giraffe and I am his lil hippo) and a love poem in the card. I also wrote a note to him too. I think he is going to really appreciate the card and what was written. Great idea!

I am trying to sneak in a surprise visit this month too! I visit every other weekend because he is so far away from me. I do get to see him Sunday and Monday this week because of the holiday though and I am able to stay overnight out by the prison he is located!
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