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When the Relationship is Over... This forum is about discussing your thoughts, feelings and issues now that you and your incarcerated (or formerly incarcerated) loved one are no longer together. (This forum is NOT for bashing - please read the rules before posting.)

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  #1  
Old 03-22-2005, 02:23 PM
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Default Helpful Books, Reading Material and Websites

Did you find a particular book that has helped you deal with your relationship loss? If so, please tell us about it. Please include the name of the book or publication, the author, price, where it can be found if not readily available at a book store and a brief summary of what its about and how it helped you!

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Old 03-22-2005, 02:25 PM
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Default Helpful Websites

Did you find a particular website that has helped you deal with your relationship loss? If so, please tell us about it. Please include the the link, tell us about the site as a whole and how it helped you!

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mrsd
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Old 03-22-2005, 03:19 PM
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Default Some helpful websites

I wanted to share with you all three important websites. Each site is about addictive relationships. Some of us might have been in an 'addictive relationship' that now we are trying to get out of them, but like any addiction you have to 'break the habit' first. Each website suggests some important exercises to do and some signs to look for. I hope that you enjoy them!

On a personal note, I do feel that my relationship with Josh was considered an addictive one. The more I read about these type of relationships the more I understand the whole picture.

I really hope that you find some answers throughout these sites!

http://www.couns.uiuc.edu/Brochures/addict.htm

http://www.voxrox.org/breaking_up_wi...elationshi.htm

http://www.studentaffairs.cmu.edu/co...uns_index.html

HUGS!

Mel
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Old 03-22-2005, 06:06 PM
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http://mentalhelp.net/psyhelp/chap6/chap6l.htm

Has many pages to read through on the "loss of relationships" and "sad times in our lives"
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Old 03-28-2005, 12:00 AM
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I read The Grief Recovery Handbook by John W James and Russell Friedman. The ISBN is 0-06-095273-3. It's $13, and you can probably order it at Amazon.com. It deals with healthy and productive ways to deal with Grief and how to work through it to start feeling normal again. It helped me when I was dealing with the end of a close friendship, and also the death of a pet. It's supposed to help you move beyond death, divorce, and other losses.
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Old 03-28-2005, 10:39 PM
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I absolutely love the book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.

I know that this really does not have too much to do with recovering from a broken relationship, but it is one of the highest selling self help books out there. I have to read this book for one of my classes, but I have learned so much from myself. It really teaches you to be a better person and I highly recommend it to each and everyone of you. Trust me, there are parts that are boring and have you rolling your eyes, but by the end you are just amazed at how positively you have changed.

I know you can find this book on amazon.com or any bookstore. The ISBN number is 0-671-70863-5 and I piad around $13 dollars at the college bookstore for a used edition, meaning if you get it somewhere else it will be WAY cheaper.

I hope you all enjoy this book if you so decide to read it

HUGS

Mel
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Old 03-28-2005, 11:06 PM
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I just ordered "Journey from Abandonment to Healing, The : Turn the End of a Relationship into the Beginning of a New Life and "The Journey from Heartbreak to Connection: A Workshop in Abandoment Recovery" By Susan Anderson

I'll let ya know how they are when I get them
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Old 03-30-2005, 04:46 PM
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Both Sunnie and I have been quoting from the book:

The Language of Letting Go: by Melody Beatie

The book is wonderful, and very inspirational. You can find our daily quotes here:
http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/sho...d.php?t=114266

Heather
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Old 04-08-2005, 08:43 AM
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I have found a lot of interesting and thought provoking articles here.

http://www.oprah.com/index.jhtml
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Old 04-10-2005, 12:15 AM
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Been reading "Journey from Abandonment to Healing, Turn the End of a Relationship into the Beginning of a New Life" so far it is pretty good,it is like a workshop type book.I'm only in Chapter 2 but so far so good
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Old 04-10-2005, 05:40 AM
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I just asked my counselor for "Co-dependent No More". Jason's D&A counselor highly recommended I read it. She's getting it for me next week.

Cali-that one you got sounds interesting.

Also, don't forget your public library, if you can't afford to buy books. I know here in PA, all the librarys are on one system and if they don't have it, they will get it from another library for you and you can get online and put it on hold, and they also have bookmobiles that travel to rural communities like mine and will bring the book here and I don't even have to go into the city.
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Old 04-14-2005, 12:09 PM
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My marriage was going spiral downward, and reading Iylana Vanzant's (i'm not sure if that's the correct spelling of her first name)In the Meantime. Also, her other two books Faith in the Valley & Acts of Faith. Trust me, these books are very good.
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Old 05-25-2005, 01:43 AM
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I definitely have to agree that my relationship is also an addictive one. Thank you for those links, and in exchange here is my link to share.
http://www.theviproom.com/visions/addictive.htm
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Old 05-29-2005, 03:04 PM
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http://breakingup.net/

http://www.enotalone.com/Breaking-Up-82.html


http://www.2000greetings.com/showcat.htm?c=68 (Some of these are pretty funny!!)
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Old 01-18-2006, 11:58 AM
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In the meantime by iyanly vanzart is a great healing and recovery book! I have read it almost 3 times and it honestly is one of the best books i ever read! I just finished a great women-empowering book by bishop t.d. jakes called "woomen thou art loosed" and it was wonderful! It is so helpful and just allows you to really empower yourself and motivate yourself to move on!!! And also prepare yourself for the blessings to come in the future!
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Old 01-29-2006, 08:17 PM
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Here is a good article that I came across:

"Prescription for a Broken Heart"
http://www.loverelationshiphelp.com/brokenheart.html
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Old 03-12-2006, 07:09 PM
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Dos and Don'ts for Healing a Broken Heart
http://www.oprah.com/relationships/r...kups%2Fdivorce

Breaking Up and Moving On
http://teenadvice.about.com/cs/break...akuphelper.htm

How to Let Go of a Bad Relationship
http://wiki.ehow.com/Let-Go-of-a-Bad-Relationship
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Old 03-25-2006, 03:12 AM
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Default 2 Must Reads!!

(1) "After the Breakup: Women Build Lives of New Possibility" by Angela Watrous and Carole Honeychurch - it gives perspectives on breakups by women who have gone through them, what they went through, etc. I got it at a bargain bookstore, but I'm sure you can find it on the net. The ISBN is 1-56731-502-X

(2) "I Used to Miss Him...But My Aim is Improving" - Must read this one!! I never laughed so hard or felt so much better in my life! Instead of delving into the psychological aspects of a breakup (which it does do on some level), it adds a humorous side to it...I just loved this book! I read it all in one sitting! The ISBN is 1-59337-011-3. It runs about $12.95 and it's by Alison James.

Here's a little blurb from the intro of this book: "I Used to Miss Him...is a breakup survival guide that recognizes and celebrates this resilient spirit in us all. Combining practical advice with a "Rip the bastard's head off" twist, these tips and suggestions will help you forget about him and take back your life. Unlike traditional breakup advice that teaches you ways you can fix yourself, this handy manual provides a comprehensive plan that will help you fix his ass, too." LOL!! Too much...
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Old 04-28-2006, 06:11 PM
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thank you all on the information about addictive relationships i really feel that this is my problem. i went to the library and got " woman who love too much" and its scary because the stories of the other women with this disease (codependency) was like looking thru a mirror. its scary but it also gives me hope that i can change this but i also know that i need help i have an appt at the therapists on may the 5th. i am so proud of myself realizing there is a problem, and i can get help thank you all i love you
marie
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Old 06-04-2006, 03:38 PM
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10 Lessons from Bad Breakups
Full article here http://love.ivillage.com/lnsproblems...e_mfbj,00.html

1)Take a Cue from Gloria Gaynor. Whether or not there is a partner at your side, you will survive. Making it though a breakup without cracking up (at least not permanently) gives you an underbelly of strength. It may not yet be of industrial-strength size proportions but it's a start. To coin another lyric associated with a pop culture icon, once you emotionally own that you're gonna make it after all you no longer need a lover to make you feel whole. Ergo you no longer need to act in the old self-defeating ways.

Dr. Alma Halbert Bond, PhD, author of I Married Dr. Jekyll and Woke Up Mrs. Hyde or What Happens to Love, puts it this way, "Many people are afraid to leave bad relationship because these negative love affairs psychologically thrust them back into early childhood. Consequently, they suffer all over again the terror of potentially being separated from a parent. Happily, finding the courage to leave an adult relationship sends the message that you are no longer a helpless child. Finding a partner then becomes the gravy, not the meal."

Guess what? When you maintain such a healthy mindset, that is when love is likeliest to come knocking at your door.
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Old 06-15-2006, 04:39 PM
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"He's really not that in to you" is a great book, which my friend suggested I read (I tend to end up in jacked up relationships) I tend to like men until they like me.
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Old 10-27-2006, 06:22 PM
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I have read a couple of these books and they are helpful.
After all the reading though I thought that I was ready to start over with someone else just as a PP this time.
I did not give myself enough time to heal (do we ever really heal ?) though. One night as I sat here trying to work up enough enthusiasm to write to a new pp I suddenly wondered what the hell was I doing ? I was trying to replace the one guy that I had really loved and it was impossible to do that.
Even though someone brings your whole world crashing down, hurts, manipulates and lies and cheats you can still love them regarless of how many books you read.
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Old 11-02-2006, 02:34 PM
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i was surfing the net today and end up reading the entire site! it is so helpul!!!! it gave me some answers to questions i was asking to myself,even tho i got divorced few years ago,. it has a lot of hints on control/verbal abuse and much more.great advices http://drirene.com
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Old 11-04-2006, 06:26 PM
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I recently split up from my husband and i'm such an emotional mess right now. If anyone has any other good books they have read please post it.Thank you.
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Old 03-05-2007, 09:26 PM
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"Women who run with the Wolves" by Clarissa Pinkola Estes. It's not an easy read but it's incredibly empowering for women. SHe's a Jungian psychologist and anthropologist and her book is full of folklore stories and how they relate to the way women are in the world - specifically she talks about the ways that women have been taught to hurt themselves or be hurt by others and how to reclaim power. A great read.

Also try "Medicine Woman" By Lynn Andrews.
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