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When the Relationship is Over... This forum is about discussing your thoughts, feelings and issues now that you and your incarcerated (or formerly incarcerated) loved one are no longer together. (This forum is NOT for bashing - please read the rules before posting.)

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  #1  
Old 06-18-2018, 09:30 PM
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I was so in love when I first met my penpal. I knew I was going to marry him. I havenít had these feelings in so long. Two years later I married him. I was so happy. I concentrated on him. I made sure he had a little money, books and paid for the phone calls. His mom helped him out too, so I didnít give him money every month. I became friends with his mom. A few months, yes, a few months later my whole world crumbled. His mom told me he had a girlfriend. I didnít know if I heard her right but I did. I was more upset with her because she should of told me in the beginning. She said she didnít want to hurt me. But she did! I told her it would of saved me so much hurt and the expense of getting married. I asked my husband if it was true, well he didnít say no or lie. He did tell me yes and SO WHAT! He yelled at me. I asked him why he married me, all he said he didnít know. After we were married of course I changed my name and on my Facebook. I was so excited. I truly loved him. He told me not to use his name on Facebook and not to put our picture we had taken by the prison. I asked why, he just said it wasnít a good idea. I contacted his son by messenger and he accepted my request. I told him that I married his father and I was going
to take good care of him. He didnít seem to happy. He asked when we got married so I told him. He seemed nice enough and said I could ask anything that I wanted. I didnít ask a lot. He hadnít talk to his father for a long time. I told my husband he got a little upset. I couldnít understand what the big deal was. He should be happy. He wasnít it comes to find out his girlfriend was the sister of his ex wife. Thatís the family that got him into trouble. I wasnít going to mess around with drug people. When getting out he leaves me. So I did get an annulment. He also got in trouble and was in closed custody for awhile and he wouldnít tell me why. I made several calls to the prison and to the Ombudsman, I was told that he would have to tell me. He could careless about me. He never wrote or called me. He doesnít know why he married me. It seems I was his ticket for a place to parole out to. Because he canít go with those people and didnít want to go with his mother. His mother also told me there was someone that wanted to kill him when he got out. WOW!! I made the right choice I feel and I have never regretted my decision because there was nothing there for him. Yes I was deeply hurt but I have to go on with my life. He will be getting out in a year. How can someone just marry you and doesnít care. I told his mother he will go back to his old ways if he goes back to the same family. I canít make someone love me. However, he had no right to do what he did to me.
Be careful who you marry in prison. Not all inmates are the same. I just got a bad Apple.
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Old 06-18-2018, 09:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Roxxxy54 View Post
I was so in love when I first met my penpal. I knew I was going to marry him. I havenít had these feelings in so long. Two years later I married him. I was so happy. I concentrated on him. I made sure he had a little money, books and paid for the phone calls. His mom helped him out too, so I didnít give him money every month. I became friends with his mom. A few months, yes, a few months later my whole world crumbled. His mom told me he had a girlfriend. I didnít know if I heard her right but I did. I was more upset with her because she should of told me in the beginning. She said she didnít want to hurt me. But she did! I told her it would of saved me so much hurt and the expense of getting married. I asked my husband if it was true, well he didnít say no or lie. He did tell me yes and SO WHAT! He yelled at me. I asked him why he married me, all he said he didnít know. After we were married of course I changed my name and on my Facebook. I was so excited. I truly loved him. He told me not to use his name on Facebook and not to put our picture we had taken by the prison. I asked why, he just said it wasnít a good idea. I contacted his son by messenger and he accepted my request. I told him that I married his father and I was going
to take good care of him. He didnít seem to happy. He asked when we got married so I told him. He seemed nice enough and said I could ask anything that I wanted. I didnít ask a lot. He hadnít talk to his father for a long time. I told my husband he got a little upset. I couldnít understand what the big deal was. He should be happy. He wasnít it comes to find out his girlfriend was the sister of his ex wife. Thatís the family that got him into trouble. I wasnít going to mess around with drug people. When getting out he leaves me. So I did get an annulment. He also got in trouble and was in closed custody for awhile and he wouldnít tell me why. I made several calls to the prison and to the Ombudsman, I was told that he would have to tell me. He could careless about me. He never wrote or called me. He doesnít know why he married me. It seems I was his ticket for a place to parole out to. Because he canít go with those people and didnít want to go with his mother. His mother also told me there was someone that wanted to kill him when he got out. WOW!! I made the right choice I feel and I have never regretted my decision because there was nothing there for him. Yes I was deeply hurt but I have to go on with my life. He will be getting out in a year. How can someone just marry you and doesnít care. I told his mother he will go back to his old ways if he goes back to the same family. I canít make someone love me. However, he had no right to do what he did to me.
Be careful who you marry in prison. Not all inmates are the same. I just got a bad Apple.
Wow, first of all sorry this happened to you. You shouldn't be upset with his mother, at least she told you. The one you need to be upset with is your husband. Also,"those people" didn't put him in prison, he put himself in prison. Unfortunately, you may have to sever ties with his mother in order to move on. Best of luck to you!
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Old 06-18-2018, 10:00 PM
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I think you definitely should be upset at his Mother and him. He had a GF before you got married and she knew about it?! It sounds like you got scammed by the whole family. I’m really sorry but I’m happy you were able to get an annulment and not a divorce. It’s going to take time to get over this. Give yourself time to heal but don’t wallow in grief. He doesnt deserve it and you deserve happiness. Most of all don’t blame yourself. You had good intentions and were taken advantage of. No he didn’t have a right to do that but remember that he doesn’t care what he did to you. Don’t waste too much time on regrets because he surely won’t. Thank your lucky stars he showed himself as the snake he is before he paroled to you. It could have been so much worse.
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Old 06-18-2018, 10:09 PM
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I agree with Andy....his mother is no better than your ex is. Apple clearly fell close to the tree.

I’m so sorry you were hurt. He’s scum and I’m honestly grateful you found out before he got out - who knows what kind of pain and chaos he would’ve caused if you let him into your home.
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Old 06-30-2018, 12:13 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Roxxxy54 View Post
I was so in love when I first met my penpal. I knew I was going to marry him. I haven’t had these feelings in so long. Two years later I married him. I was so happy. I concentrated on him. I made sure he had a little money, books and paid for the phone calls. His mom helped him out too, so I didn’t give him money every month. I became friends with his mom. A few months, yes, a few months later my whole world crumbled. His mom told me he had a girlfriend. I didn’t know if I heard her right but I did. I was more upset with her because she should of told me in the beginning. She said she didn’t want to hurt me.
But she did!

I told her it would of saved me so much hurt and the expense of getting married. I asked my husband if it was true, well he didn’t say no or lie. He did tell me yes and SO WHAT! He yelled at me. I asked him why he married me, all he said he didn’t know. After we were married of course I changed my name and on my Facebook. I was so excited. I truly loved him. He told me not to use his name on Facebook and not to put our picture we had taken by the prison. I asked why, he just said it wasn’t a good idea. I contacted his son by messenger and he accepted my request. I told him that I married his father and I was going to take good care of him. He didn’t seem to happy. He asked when we got married so I told him. He seemed nice enough and said I could ask anything that I wanted. I didn’t ask a lot. He hadn’t talk to his father for a long time. I told my husband he got a little upset. I couldn’t understand what the big deal was. He should be happy. He wasn’t it comes to find out his girlfriend was the sister of his ex wife. That’s the family that got him into trouble. I wasn’t going to mess around with drug people. When getting out he leaves me. So I did get an annulment. He also got in trouble and was in closed custody for awhile and he wouldn’t tell me why. I made several calls to the prison and to the Ombudsman, I was told that he would have to tell me. He could careless about me. He never wrote or called me. He doesn’t know why he married me. It seems I was his ticket for a place to parole out to. Because he can’t go with those people and didn’t want to go with his mother. His mother also told me there was someone that wanted to kill him when he got out. WOW!! I made the right choice I feel and I have never regretted my decision because there was nothing there for him. Yes I was deeply hurt but I have to go on with my life. He will be getting out in a year. How can someone just marry you and doesn’t care. I told his mother he will go back to his old ways if he goes back to the same family. I can’t make someone love me. However, he had no right to do what he did to me.

Be careful who you marry in prison. Not all inmates are the same. I just got a bad Apple.
---

You're going through it so bad chica, but you're going to see through all of this heartache for which was ZERO-FAULT of your own.
How evil.



SMH i have heard of/met some with success stories all across our lands , to some real awful doozies, and let me tell ya, yours is really bad to read and i am sad for you.but MORE for him because he will not be blessed AT ALL for doing this to you.
I've seen some doozies, Horror story after horror story here and fb and other places, on line and talk shows to prison specials etc.,but, this is a really bad one. I think his mother, is not a good person do that. She lied to you big time, knowing you're his wife, legal-wife, not some girl on the side, some "chick hangin around"or live with him and pretending to be man and wife, you're his wife,AND she know what was going on and kept it furtive...(secret) smh
SHAME ON MOM.Now, some say do not be mad at MOM. OH i sure would be. BUT MORE PISSED OFF at the main person and that is the worthless no good husband.or ex spouse.There is always a "risk" 100x more with a drug-addict/in recovery/but still an addict, et.al., and we know this. DON'T hate yourself because you're wanting to believe he was a great guy/wanted a great life with a great supportive incredible woman like you, chica. Let him learn the HARD WAY and FAIL because i have no doubt he will all in time. He will falter. You're going to thrive though.BELIEVE that.
-
You're going to find 1 day someone who truly love and care for you and this is not the guy.I'm so happy you at least rushed to get it annulled chica...I am sorry for what you're going through,but remember, he will get his BAD karma, while you're going to one day
be blessed, chica. Be strong. Have faith... God bless you. Hugs -n- Blessingto you.
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Last edited by a.rare.love; 06-30-2018 at 12:23 PM..
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Old 09-03-2018, 11:28 PM
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Thanks for all you replies and kind words. There is an ending to this. This inmate I was married died August 26, 2018. Sudden death in prison. He couldn’t walk right and he slurred when he spoke. He was sent to two hospitals. He was on life support. He had an autopsy pending the results 60 to 90 days. He’s being buried on the day we got married and the same time. His mother had his body taken back home. I believe he’s better off where he’s at. I was told from a reliable source he was never coming out of prison. I was told he was problems in there. I never knew he wasn’t coming out. I believe God took care of me. I just didn’t know a lot of things. May he Rest In Peace.
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Old 09-04-2018, 01:35 AM
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Good grief, I'm so sorry!! For all that has happened to you. This is grief times 2 at least...
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Old 09-04-2018, 06:11 AM
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My condolences, I'm very sorry too.
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Old 09-04-2018, 07:10 AM
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My condolences on your loss
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Old 09-04-2018, 07:34 AM
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Just saying but there needs to be a check on these men(inmates) we love them with our all and they cheat and think its nothing.
The only condolence we sometimes get is from Karma. To many innocent hearts lives broken. Start a blog of asking is this man attached to any other woman.
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Old 09-05-2018, 04:13 PM
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How sad I'm so sorry for your loss.
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Old 11-22-2018, 01:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Roxxxy64 View Post

He was sent to two hospitals. [/b]

. [b]He’s being buried on the day we got married



I believe he’s better off where he’s at. I was told from a reliable source he was never coming out of prison.


I was told he was problems in there.


I never knew he wasn’t coming out. I believe God took care of me.


I just didn’t know a lot of things. May he Rest In Peace.

Siento mucho tu pťrdida, y' que dios te' bendiga, (god bless u and i said i am SO SORRY for your loss) and i know this is so very sad, despite what hadhappen, between you and him, still, a life was suddenly loss and i pray for his eternal peace... I pray you're able to continue yourself to move on from it all and realize -
-
God is in control and yes, i believe he was taking care of u for which is a good thing and shall hence, continue to. Hugs and blessings this morning, for you today and i hope 2019 will be a much more blessful, and happier one for you. . .
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