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View Poll Results: For what kind of crime would you NOT continue correspondence?
Robbery (house/building/bank/person) 14 4.40%
Assault/Battery 27 8.49%
Financial crimes (Embezzlement/Racketeering, etc.) 12 3.77%
Murder/Manslaughter/Homicide (or other crimes involving death) 82 25.79%
Drug Possession/Trafficking/Conspiracy/etc. (and drug-related crimes) 15 4.72%
Treason/espionage crimes 19 5.97%
Violent crimes (sexual crimes/rape/dismemberment but not resulting in death) 213 66.98%
Arson/Recklessness/Mayhem (damage to property but not necessarily to people) 17 5.35%
Too many factors involved to come to a decisive answer 52 16.35%
Depends on the crime/circumstances/external influences 89 27.99%
Other crime not listed (please post if able) 39 12.26%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 318. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
Old 01-12-2007, 12:07 AM
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Question Do you take the crime into account when writing a penpal?

I'm not sure if this should just be limited to this forum, or who on here are writing to people (besides friends/family) as basically penpals, but:

For what kind of crime would you NOT continue correspondence?
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  #2  
Old 01-12-2007, 12:27 AM
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Default Yes I voted in my own poll

I voted in my own poll, but am curious if any of you out there would have a problem continuing (or starting new) correspondence... whether you find out at first what they did or months afterward.

My personal opinion, in writing penpals, is I can "possibly" see past each one as long as I know what they did/why/what they feel now.

I had great reservations in writing to one penpal who is doing time for murder, and I hope he is an exception, but his ad seemed genuinely sincere... well I kind of felt sorry for him, in other words. I may or may not continue correspondence with him...
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  #3  
Old 01-12-2007, 02:34 AM
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The things that bothered me when I was looking for a pen pal were ones that either locked up for crimes against children, wheather it be neglect, molestation, whatever. And then I would not want to write to anyone with a sex crime.

My girl is in for murder, but she was in the car in the parking lot when it went down inside. So I feel differently than if she were convicted and was the one who actually did the act. She says she didn't know what the guy she was with was going to do when he went in.

No one knows the truth except her and him, all I know is the person who has served 14 years for her crime, and I like the person she is now. She hasn't given me a reason for me to think she has been dishonest at all.
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Old 02-23-2008, 06:22 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CountryJ
The things that bothered me when I was looking for a pen pal were ones that either locked up for crimes against children, wheather it be neglect, molestation, whatever. And then I would not want to write to anyone with a sex crime.

My girl is in for murder, but she was in the car in the parking lot when it went down inside. So I feel differently than if she were convicted and was the one who actually did the act. She says she didn't know what the guy she was with was going to do when he went in.

No one knows the truth except her and him, all I know is the person who has served 14 years for her crime, and I like the person she is now. She hasn't given me a reason for me to think she has been dishonest at all.

Hi, I read your post and understand. My bother in law (ex) is in for life for Joint ventur conviction. He didnt commit the murder but was there! His friend killed an old man in his mobile home for jars of change. Its so sad. Well anywhooo he was there and didnt call police. I feel though I will never truely know everything that happened because only HE knows! Someday maybe he will tell all. I am against writing to people for crimes against children as well. Thats about the only thing I cannot get past unfortuniatly! (sp)?
Kim
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Old 01-12-2007, 02:47 AM
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I had to put 'it depends' because I could sit here and say 'well, I wouldn't be pen-pals with a murderer' and here I am friends with someone accused of murder and convicted of manslaughter.

I did not know until a few months into our friendship and there were circumstances and not for a moment was I afraid of him for myself or anyone else.

So I might have a prejudice against certain crimes, but that might be overcome with knowing the whole story.
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Old 01-12-2007, 03:45 AM
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I don't think I'd be comfortable corresponding with a person who is serving time for rape or torture or child molestation. But I never say never.
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Old 01-12-2007, 01:21 PM
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My thinking is that everyone can change and we have all made mistakes. I would have trouble with the rape and child molestor.
I think a rule of thumb that should serve all of us is "DO THEY ASK FOR MONEY? If they ask you for money, they are probably asking many others for money. I just read where someone had amasses over two thusand dollars by fleecing penpals. I will never send a dollar to anyone I don't know.
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Old 01-12-2007, 01:57 PM
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I put sexual crimes. I am not against writing anyone for murder because many times it was for protection. My ex husband was in for 3 counts of attempted and 1 count of aggravated assault. But in his situation he was shooting at someone that had threatened to kill his son who was 3 yrs old at the time. So writing a murderer for me would not be out. Now someone who just straight out killed someone because they were bored, then no I would not continue to write.
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Old 01-17-2007, 10:12 PM
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People are capable of change and to judge a person on the crime that was commented is wrong. I don't have a problem writing anyone, if they are respectful. I can give the same.
Get to know the person first before judging on the crime that was done.
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  #10  
Old 05-29-2009, 08:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sweet_aziza View Post
People are capable of change and to judge a person on the crime that was commented is wrong. I don't have a problem writing anyone, if they are respectful. I can give the same.
Get to know the person first before judging on the crime that was done.
Hello - I agree.
Thanks and
Blessings,
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  #11  
Old 01-18-2007, 06:31 AM
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Well said, sweet aziza! Which is why I'd never say 'never'. I think if I'd get to know a person first and then discover he/she did something like this I doubt I would stop writing if I like that person. You know, you've already seen this person is capable of doing good. That does make a difference I think.

But when I think about a case that was recently in the news here about a 12 year old girl who was dragged off her bike into a van, raped twice, managed to escape and then was overrun by the aforementioned van, I can't imagine myself ever writing to the man who did this. Maybe it's because I'm a woman myself and try to imagine what that must be like if it happened to me, but it just gives me the creeps. It may be a really nice guy and he might better himself and all, but what he did....it does create a barrier, you know. There's just this much compassion you can muster.
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Old 01-18-2007, 09:24 AM
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For the most part, I'm a "never say never" type, but currently, I do draw the line at sex crimes. And I hesitate to admit that, because I know there are people here who's loved ones are in prison for sex crimes and I really don't wish to offend anyone when we're all here for support. It's not that I think the people who commit these crimes are necessarily horrible people, it's just my own personal hangup. Perhaps some day I'll get over it, but for now, it is what it is.

Any kind of violent crimes, I'd like to know more about early on. I'm a very non-violent, peace-loving hippie type, so I may not get along well with someone who thinks that physical fighting is a good way to solve problems. If it was self-defense, if they've changed, cool. If not, once again, it's not necessarily that they're a horrible person, it'd just be a personality clash that probably wouldn't make for a good friendship.
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Old 01-18-2007, 09:07 AM
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i have 4 pen pals 1 I write to is in for murder, i wouldnt write a guy in for any Sex Crime (committed to a child or adult). sure people can change and all that but i have my opionions. I also wouldnt write anyone in for drinking and driving (personal reasons).
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Old 01-18-2007, 10:41 AM
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I think I am close minded when it comes to this stuff, because I would never ever write ANYBODY in on a sex crime, or a baby killer or something like that. Also, I could never bring myself to write anybody in PC because of the name that comes with it, and the way I see it, is they are there for a reason and all the reasons somebody would go to PC, I don't want to deal with somebody like that.
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Old 01-18-2007, 10:46 AM
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sex crimes against children are a big no for me,as I have kids and a young grandchild and I could never trust a man like that with the most precious things in the world to me.
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Old 01-18-2007, 01:34 PM
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I always look past their crimes, i believe people have the capacity to change and that is my experience, i tend to look past what they have done and get to know the person
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Old 01-18-2007, 07:44 PM
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It's interesting to see the variety of reasons people would not write someone. I do agree, I have to find the reason why they are incarcerated and any circumstances (defending themselves or defending family member, best friend, etc.) Who knows?

It's not the crime committed in as much as why it was committed. I can possibly "overlook" alot of reasons but I wouldn't accept 'boredom' or 'on drugs' or 'gang initation' for a reason to commit a crime. It does depend on the person. As long as you can tell (from letters/phone calls) that the person has changed and knows what they did is wrong, it wouldn't be a reason to stop communication with them.
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Old 05-17-2007, 11:15 PM
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Hi, newbie here, just joined tonight.

I write to several, and some are in for things that I am sure would make many stop writing to them. I have no boundaries on this, and do not even ask them, though they usually tell me.

I do not know if they could change, and some I would not let around my children because of what they have done. But I will still offer words of hope.
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Old 06-11-2007, 10:56 PM
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I would have a problem with:

-->anyone who killed or abused a child or an elderly person (for example, killing an elderly person while in the process of robbing them)

-->anyone who has tortured another person

-->spousal abusers (I have studied the subject, they usually don't change)

-->sex offenders (any kind) (again, usually don't change)

-->anyone who killed their mate (or anyone else, for that matter) in a particularly brutal way and/or who defiled the victim after death (example, husband kills wife and dismembers to hide evidence)

-->convicted serial killer

A lot of these indicate deep, deep-seated psychological issues I wouldn't want to touch with a 10-foot pole.

That being said, I write to someone convicted of 1st degree murder who is in for LWOP. I don't mind writing to him because he was a young, reckless juvenile when he committed the crime and it's been scientifically proven that juveniles' brains function differently than adults, he has taken responsibility for what he did, I know the details of the case (drug deal between teenagers gone bad, both sides with guns). He was just acting like a stupid kid from a broken home who did a really stupid thing.

I would have to know the details of a murder conviction to know if I could continue a correspondence with an individual, but I think I can say right off the bat that I wouldn't knowingly even start a correspondence with someone like a serial killer or the others I mentioned.....
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Old 06-24-2007, 02:53 PM
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I would have a problem writing sex offenders, people with crimes against children or the elderly; things like that are just un-excuseable to me!
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Old 08-21-2009, 07:43 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CharlotteLoves View Post
I would have a problem with:

-->anyone who killed or abused a child or an elderly person (for example, killing an elderly person while in the process of robbing them)

-->anyone who has tortured another person

-->spousal abusers (I have studied the subject, they usually don't change)

-->sex offenders (any kind) (again, usually don't change)

-->anyone who killed their mate (or anyone else, for that matter) in a particularly brutal way and/or who defiled the victim after death (example, husband kills wife and dismembers to hide evidence)

-->convicted serial killer
Yeah, this is my answer too. I can understand and relate to crime, but not the ones listed above.
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Old 06-24-2007, 07:36 PM
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I think any crime committed against a child would most likely have me backing off but then again, we all should be careful about who we start talking/writing to no matter what the crime.
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Old 07-13-2007, 01:57 AM
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As someone mentioned earlier in this thread, I do to believe that people are capable of change, and that everyone has good in them, but I just wouldn't feel comfortable with child molestation. And things done to other defenceless people, like physically or mentally challenged people.
I guess no crime - except civil disobedince - makes me feel comfortable, but there are some things I can get past, and some things I cannot.
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Old 01-18-2007, 08:52 PM
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I wouldn’t write to someone who was convicted of committing a violent crime of a sexual nature. Generally speaking the type of person who commits that time of crime has personality traits that I would rather not deal with. I also wouldn’t write to someone who hasn’t committed that type of crime, but shows the same traits.
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Old 01-21-2007, 01:16 PM
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I wouldnt write a child pornographer but everything else is pretty much a go
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