Hello, I just found this site a few days ago and have started to one woman who is amazing and it is wonderful to know that I am not alone and my feelings are normal. This is only the beginning for my son (only been 2 weeks)...we have a probable cause hearing this week and then I guess the "process of information gathering" begins? I know this is only the beginning and when it comes time to go to court I am preparing to be devestated. I have begun to write my son positive letters and am always strong when talking with him and when in court. It is also being covered by the media which makes it a million times worse. I cry and break down on my own time. I write to him every day .So many times I feel like I failed him (crying now) and wonder how I could have been a better mom. I know that he made his own choices but feel I have let him down. For now I know he is safe and just hope no one treats him like shit in there - I always worry. He also has an almost 4 month old that I just saw for the first time last weekend. I am mailing my son pictures. I am going to see my grandson every other week and after a few visits I am going to let her know that I would like to work up (when she is comfortable) to taking him out for the day every other weekend, to then taking him over night one night every other weekend, then to ultimately every other weekend. I want to be a part of his life.
I also told my son that he will live with me when he gets out and we will go to meetings, etc. I feel like I am a prisoner myself and wish I could have known he was still in trouble so I could have helped him out.
I feel dead inside most days and nothing brings me joy anymore. Keep my blinds shut, sit in silence a lot, etc.
The Following User Says Thank You to JennMcLarty For This Useful Post:
You are at the beginning of your journey, and I (as well as many others here) have been where you are. This is a great place to come where you won't be judged, and where you can vent, or ask opinions. You are doing a great job of supporting your son. Sorry you have found yourself here...but welcome.
I do know what you are going through. My son just had a baby, he's 2 months old & hasn't swen him yet because of red tape. He's never been in trouble & this is all over an accident. He's only 21 & is serving a 2 year sentence. You have found a great place for love & support! PTO is uplifting & full of great information. God bless you & your family
Insecurity Kills All That Is Beautiful