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  #1  
Old 11-05-2018, 04:34 PM
jmdivine jmdivine is offline
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Default The journey has begun

I knew this day would come. But I was never truly prepared for it. My son, my baby, is no longer in county after 2 long, heartbreaking years. Early this morning he was sent to the transfer unit to begin the process of serving his 50 year sentence. Words can not adequately describe my emotional and mental state right now. My chest is literally heavy. I'm having difficulty reigning in my anguish. I keep checking the TDCJ website. I need to register my phone to receive calls, but I can't until I get that number. I hurt so much.
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Old 11-05-2018, 04:54 PM
Itshardtowait Itshardtowait is offline
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I am so sorry, I do know how your feeling, I wish there was a way to take your pain away.
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Old 11-05-2018, 04:57 PM
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I know it hurts, its going to hurt as you go through the stages of grief....as a parent, the hurt most likely will not go away completely over time. But what will happen is that you'll get into a routine of letters, calls, visits, and you will become stronger.

Try to look at his transfer to prison as an improvement over being stuck in county: More & better classes / programs; more & better job opportunities; more & better yard time / free time; more & better commissary.

While you're waiting on his TDCJ #, start a letter to him. He'll be able to receive mail before the phone number is approved and voice recognition recorded
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Old 11-05-2018, 06:41 PM
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It must be awful for you. Stay strong and be sure to take care of yourself.
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Old 11-08-2018, 03:41 PM
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I am truly sorry. As a mom with an 18 year old son in prison for 12 years, I know how badly you are hurting. I grieve every day. Some days itís better some days I canít leave my bed. He was in county for 1.5 years and now just started his term for 12. I havenít been able to really talk to him yet. Just letters they help. He says he is doing well and working on school. I pray you find your new normal. Just know you are not alone we are all here going thru the same pain. It helps to talk.
Anthonyís Mom
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Old 11-08-2018, 05:16 PM
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I wish I could give you a hug right now. I know it wouldn't take your pain away, but I just want you to know I care. This first part is so hard.. until you can talk, and then visit. I can't say the pain will ever leave, but it will become more manageable. I will pray for you and your son.
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Old 11-11-2018, 05:19 PM
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I remember that day too. Everyone said it would be better, but it was hard to believe that because at county he was 30 minutes away and I could go visit every day if I wanted to. Now he was in limbo and I couldn't do anything until they assigned him to his "home" prison. Then the 2 month wait for background check and approval. My first trip, only 1 road to get there and a major big truck accident meant turn around and go home and never got there. Two weeks later, try again and thankfully no accidents. But, that first hug - the first time I had been able to touch my son in over a year - it was worth it.

It really is better for him, your heart just doesn't know it yet. Especially with such a long sentence, it will be good for him to engage in classes, work programs, education, even entertainment and sports. There will be an adjustment period for him and you and hopefully he won't be too far so that your visits can be frequent. (Mine was 800 miles RT for over 4 years, which sucked; but now is 150 miles.)

In the meantime, as soon as you know where he will be, look for information on that prison, here and other social medial support groups. I always find things easier when I can access information.

I am sorry your son has 50 years of this. I thought 8 was a lifetime. Most people change over time so except for the truly emotionally ill and psychologically lacking or the evil (if you believe in it); I don't think any person should be put away for that long.
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Old 11-13-2018, 11:01 PM
Lackingthepower Lackingthepower is offline
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Default Odat

I understand your pain. It's hard for parent's. It was hard for me as I didn't understand where my son would be sent on top of grieving for the loss of everything I wanted for him in life. Everything we wouldn't enjoy as a family. I also was dealing with loss of friends thanks to the media. So, this site helped a lot! I went to the forum for my state and was freely given support and answers to questions. We have been where you are. Praying for strength for you and your son.
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Old 11-14-2018, 08:23 PM
trauma4us trauma4us is offline
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Its hard I know. My son was arrested 5 years ago yesterday. It doesn't get easier and you always worry. I'm sorry.
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