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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

View Poll Results: Proteced or Unprotected
Protected 292 21.77%
Unprotected 1,049 78.23%
Voters: 1341. You may not vote on this poll

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  #101  
Old 02-15-2007, 07:44 PM
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You know what, I had NO problem asking an ex to take a trip to the clinic. And, if he gets offended by that, oh well! He should respect the fact that your asking him to do that. There are too many things floating around out there to be careless about this. I've been with my guy for quite a while, so I know where he's been and I don't mind it 'cause we've been trying for a baby for almost a year before he left but trust me if there was any doubt in my mind he wasnt faithful, that would be a different story.
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  #102  
Old 04-08-2007, 12:48 AM
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Personally, I prefer unprotected... it's always felt better for me that way. Have you considered asking him to get tested before he comes home? That might make you feel a little less worried about going unprotected. But don't do it unless you feel comfortable with it.

Whether you prefer to have protected or unprotected sex is just a matter of your beliefs, values, experiences, attitude towards sex, current circumstances in life, etc... it does NOT equate to how much you care for someone. If you feel like he is pressuring you into doing something you're not comfortable with, talk to him about it. Maybe he's just always done it unprotected and so that's what he expects from you, but he'll never know you're not comfortable with it unless you tell him.
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  #103  
Old 04-08-2007, 12:51 AM
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We were unprotected before, and I'm sure we'll be unprotected when he gets out. It just feels more natural to be "bare" and being the hippie/naturalists/just-plain-ODD people we are, we prefer it that way. We know where each other has been and we know where each other will NOT go. And, we want kids pretty soon after he's out.
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  #104  
Old 04-08-2007, 09:36 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnitaFoxx
Don't you girls ever worry that your children maybe criminal because they will have their father's dna? Don't you ever think how that affects a child having a criminal father? Wouldn't you all desire a person of no criminal background to enter into parenthood with? The reason I ask because you all sound like you don't think for what minute that children take after their fathers genetic makeup. See my man wants a child but I tell him I feel God will punish me and I would have a son and he would be heavy on my heart. I fear he would be in and out of jail God forbid do time. I just can't risk having a child by a criminal minded man. But now he is going to be a good man. I am too afraid of that. But would love to have a child by him.

I'm not sure if you're up to date but there is NO SUCH THING AS A CRIMINAL GENE! Nature vs. nurture... people commit crimes because there is something in their life that as went astray... not because one of their parents passed on a "bad" gene. Your comment baffled me... seriously. Children can grow up to be healthy, productive individuals in a home setting where one of their parents have had a past that is less desirable than the norm. As long as they give love and support to their children... who cares about their past? It's exactly that... the past.



And back to the topic... haha... my guy and I will not be using protection when he gets home. They can choose to be tested every 6 months if they desire and he just got tested 2 weeks ago. He sent me his clean bill of health... and I just had my yearly in January and I haven't been with anyone anyways... so we're ready to ride!
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  #105  
Old 04-08-2007, 09:49 AM
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Not to burst anyones bubble here.. But being married is by no means a guarantee of not contracting STD's!!! I was married for 16 years Happily I thought. My husband cheated and gave me an STD.. As women we can fool ourselves into thinking My Man would never do that!!!! What is at stake is your life!!!!! Yeah some you can run & get antibotics.. Which is what I had to do but that is just embarassing and humilating. AIDS & Hep C is deadly. Frankly ain't no penis worth dying over. Your health is your resposibility always keep that in mind. Your choice of course just my 2 cents..
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  #106  
Old 04-08-2007, 11:19 AM
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Protected or Unprotected?

Is it really so black and white? I'm on birth control, so I have that as protection against pregnancy, but I don't use anything that'd protect against STDs because my husband doesn't have any. So what would I answer?
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  #107  
Old 04-08-2007, 01:47 PM
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Yeah, I know even if you're married that does not mean you won't contract a STD, but if he's going to cheat, he'd better wear an condom so 1) she/he won't get pregnant and 2) he doesn't contract a STD from her and bring it home to me. If I can be faithful, so can he. If he can't and does not know how to be faithful, then he can move on and me and a battery-powered friend can meet and greet, and when winter comes and its cold, I'll crank up the heat. Oh, as an after thought, I heard that some STDs can break, creep, penetrate, or any other adjective that may be useful here through rubber.
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  #108  
Old 04-09-2007, 12:24 AM
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Cool Condomns are best but....

I prefer protected sex because I am very into being healthy. I have sickle cell anemia so any infection (even a cold) gets me very sick.

I don't like birth control because of the weight gain I get from it so this time I'm torn. I cannot afford to gain anymore weight, I have enough to lose yet I want to have unprotected sex with him because we're in love and I want to feel him inside of me without any barriers. I want all of him and the intimacy of doing it without a condomn. He and I agree to get tested as soon as he gets out. I also been the victim of a cheat who gave me a curable STD so I am very wary of having unprotected sex with a man that I don't trust. I have trust issues and don't trust my man fully so that's something we'll have to work on. I don't know what I'm gonna do but I will use up the many condomns I have since they gonna expire in 2008. We both are eager to try the new condoms with the vibrating ring attached.
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  #109  
Old 04-09-2007, 10:28 AM
missinghim1231 missinghim1231 is offline
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I've ALWAYS been very worried about contracting a STD so I've always preferred to go protected until I REALLY felt that I could trust a man. With my current boyfriend I used to literally have to fight with him to put on protection. I finally gave in because (like you mentioned) I didn't want him to feel as though I didn't trust him with all of me. Then I got to thinking... why would I compromise my level of comfort for someone else's comfort. So we wound up using protection again. Now he's been mentioning going without protection again... but truthfully, I'm with it because I do trust him with my body.
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  #110  
Old 04-09-2007, 03:20 PM
SANTiESWiFE SANTiESWiFE is offline
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GiRL, i DO iT WiTH MY HUSBAND BECAUSE iT FEELS BETTER TO ME AND i TRUST HiM, PLAiN AND SiMPLE. iF YOU DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE, DON'T DO iT. iF HE DOESN'T RESPECT THAT OR GETS MAD BECAUSE OF iT, THEN DO YOU REALLY WANT HiM AROUND ANYWAY? DO WHATEVER FEELS COMFORTABLE FOR YOU.
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  #111  
Old 04-09-2007, 07:25 PM
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When my man gets out we're getting married and also having a love child..haha..no protection required
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  #112  
Old 04-10-2007, 06:23 PM
theronswifey theronswifey is offline
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Well there's no question that I will go bare wit him!! I don't want to make him feel like he is dirty or anything!! We do plan on gettin married b4 he is released so out of respect 4 him i think I will go bare plus we want a baby so u get tha idea!!
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  #113  
Old 04-10-2007, 06:33 PM
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If you feel comfortable having protective sex then that is what you need to do. You have to protect yourself. If he can't understand that then that is on him. I don't think that you should tell him about your STD problem b-cause then he probably will see you different. But protect yourself until you feel comfortable having unprotectived sex.
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  #114  
Old 04-10-2007, 07:31 PM
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raw dog..simply put
no pun intended! LOL
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  #115  
Old 04-11-2007, 01:33 AM
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Unprotected..... im clean.. and i know he is clean.. some people might not agree with it but i think that it really boils down to how the two people themselves feel and if one is uncomfortable with it.. then they need to deal with that.
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  #116  
Old 04-11-2007, 05:02 AM
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JJ and I have been together for a year now, and i know he isnt cheating and vice versa... we havent used protection... i dont know how long...
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  #117  
Old 04-11-2007, 06:42 PM
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Being locked down or not, Im not having unprotected sex with anyone other than my husband, whoever that will be. It doesn't mean that you don't love and/or care about the person, it means that you love and value your life and self worth a lot more than someone elses. There are too many STDs around for me to take risks like that, its just not worth it! And if you are with someone that feels you have to let them go raw to show your love, then show their ass the door, because they don't have your best interest at heart!
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  #118  
Old 04-11-2007, 06:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sillyj
I certainly prefer unprotected,
BUT.................
Quote:
Originally Posted by sillyj
It ain't about how much you love each other, it's about being real, and taking care of yourselves so that you can have a nice, long, healthy life together.
I could not have said it better!

We will both be tested before we fore go a coat, even though I don't have anything I don't feel that I should ask him this if I am not willing to do it also. Plus he gets tested every year for HIV because of being in there and like he said just to be on the safe side there is just to much of that in there to not do it and work where he works.. .
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  #119  
Old 04-11-2007, 07:26 PM
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when he comes home he has to be rubbed up cause before he got locked up he was with this stripper that later her hospital bill came to the house saying that she had chlamydia and that she had lost a pregnancy, so i told him that he has to get checked up right afte he comes home. Fuck that im not willing to take the risk of catching a STD. or HIV/AIDs.Cause u never know what can they catch in there.
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  #120  
Old 04-19-2007, 10:38 AM
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This is an interesting question. Mine has the idea that he won't be using anything when he gets out either. I know he gets tested inside and has already sent me the results (negative thank goodness ) but there a several things to think about. I think it depends on the circumstances. If we want a baby, if I think he (we) can handle it then we can go bare. But in the beginning, especially when he first comes home, he is gonna pop like a cork so unless so until we are ready and prepared for me to get pregnant, he better use something.
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  #121  
Old 04-19-2007, 11:44 AM
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different Strokes For Different Folks. I Mean I Trust My Husband. I Say That Because Every Six Months I Send Him Money To Get A Check Up. Plus He Sends Me The Results From His Test. I Guess That Is One Advantage Of Being With Feds.
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  #122  
Old 04-19-2007, 12:24 PM
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Me and my man have it unprotected 100% of the time, he is my first, so I know we are good, no std or anything like that. He was tested. For some reason though, we can't get pregnant? And I mean we have been married for almost 2 years so like almost every day for like two years and still not pregnant. For a while we tried but now we are like if it happens it happens you know? I think its kind of funny, people who don't want to get pregnant actually get pregnant, but people like me who WANT a kid, nope, sorry not for you! Well, just thought it would be interesting for you to know my situation...
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  #123  
Old 04-20-2007, 04:03 PM
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We never used protection before... stupid on after thought... didn't really know his past, he didn't really know mine, but we both were checked and everything was good and clean. Yes, we are having a baby... in 4 months

As far as when he gets out. I will insist upon condoms until he gets tested and the results return. I am normally like this with every man, for some reasona t the beggining, I just didn't with him, well he has been apart from me too long now and he'll have a long lonely trip from CA to MO when he is released and I wouldn't put it past him to put in something sneaky sneaky if he starts drinking again before he gets home...
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  #124  
Old 04-24-2007, 05:42 PM
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We will go get tested and then go unprotected. I think they actually test them for everything before they release them bit STD runs wild in there, and remember Almost all of them deny any kind of sex happening in there but plently is happening, its just always someone else doing it.
I said it before and I say it again, I am not in there with him so I would never know if he messed around on me or not, he says no and I have to trust him. But test first, play later...
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  #125  
Old 04-24-2007, 08:36 PM
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We both agree to be tested, I have to know the results before I can go unprotected.So yes condoms will be used, by the way the female condom is really interesting to use, if you have a man that refuse to wear a condom let him help u with one of these ladies, and he will know how for real you are when it comes to protection & its a good way to release any arkwardness and a great topic 4 couples to discuss both your sexual health issues...One of my son's friends brother came home in Jan of this year after being in prison for 3 yrs, he is only 25 and has full blown AIDS;yet looking at him you can not tell...I did'nt belief it until he told me hisself tht he is postive.. It blew my mind!!! The sad part is he does'nt know if he gave it to any of the young women he had unprotected sex with and has to tell all of them
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