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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

View Poll Results: Proteced or Unprotected
Protected 292 21.77%
Unprotected 1,049 78.23%
Voters: 1341. You may not vote on this poll

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  #26  
Old 01-12-2007, 01:03 PM
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We both got tested before being together so we've never used condoms but I will still go on the pill before he comes home because I don't want to get pregnant.
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Old 01-12-2007, 01:17 PM
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I never used protection with my husbandthe first time we had sex i was on my period( dont mean to gross u out but I thought that was my protection) Well I ended up pregnant lol so much for that idea. He was tested when he went in n I was tested when I was pregnant so i know we dont have anything. When he gets out he wants to have another baby n Im like ur thinking about that I just had a baby a mnth ago lol but he says by the time he gets out ill be ready for #2 Im like ok well see n if im not im gettin on da shot. I think if ur in a trusting and faithful relationship then its ultimately ur choice but if not i would advise u to use protection n dont think red raggin is protection cuz im proof that its not lol
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  #28  
Old 01-12-2007, 01:55 PM
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I have that kind of trust in my man and we both have been tested. I want to have a baby so you better believe the second he comes home, you won't be able to find anything even made out of rubber in our home.

If it were some new guy off the street, NO QUESTION, he is strapping up and if he won't I'm gone. I even advocate the use of the female condom. We have them at my work and I give them to sex workers who are proactive and they have given me pretty good feedback on them to.
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  #29  
Old 01-12-2007, 02:10 PM
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We got tested in the beginning and we are married now, so it's bareback all the way for us. If I didn't trust him, I wouldn't be married to him. I'm not at all worried about him getting anything in prison....no way! I'm past the babies stage....if I get pregnant we are calling the National Inquirer
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  #30  
Old 01-12-2007, 02:35 PM
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Lostinlove-

I DO think that it is WHOLLY inappropriate for a medical doctor to advise married people to use condoms, "cuz you never know". It is appropriate to warn of the dangers of AIDS and STD's, so that patients can make an informed decision. I feel that his comment went too far - had he been my doctor, that surely would have been the last time I consulted him. I see my doctor for his MEDICAL opinions, not his PERSONAL opinions.
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  #31  
Old 01-12-2007, 04:03 PM
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Which do you prefer?? And why??


It's a toss-up. I like condom use because it is neat & tidy. No leaks!

I don't like condom use because the latex is internally irritating.
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  #32  
Old 01-12-2007, 04:09 PM
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Does whether you have (un)protected sex with a man or not equate to how much you care for him? If your man expected that from you...what would you do?


How in the world do I handle this????



If my man expected me to go without birth control, he'd be going without sex. It would show no respect for me or my decisions about my own body's health and well-being. And it would mean he wanted to take away the power of choice.

Going without birth control should be a wholly mutual decision.


Last edited by crow94; 01-12-2007 at 04:13 PM..
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  #33  
Old 01-12-2007, 10:04 PM
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Until I met him, any relation I had would be protected, or with my ex, it was sometimes the "pull out" method, plus me on birth control. But when I met my baby, he informed me he had a vesectomy (sp), and so i was on bc for awhile. but then finally stoped cuz it was stupid lol....so....no it's nothin, but I have no problem cuz if i were to get pregnant somehow....then...ok!! but we do plan on havin it reversed so we can have kids!!
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  #34  
Old 01-13-2007, 12:23 AM
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Wow this one is great! ha ha.... I can not tell the difference between protected and unprotected to be completely honest. I don't care how you give it to me, just give it to me!

I did vote protected though because I feel better knowing that I am protected there is no little thought in the back of my head during or after sex that I may end up with some crap after this is done.

Once I have my man's complete blood work showing me that he is clean then we will have sex - not before then so .. when we get to doing the dirty I will be condom free (my tubes are tied so no need to worry about kids).

And.....just for the record - even though your man doesn't participate in dude on dude sex he can still get infected from tattoos or drug use while in.

I am my kids only mom and I take my job seriously so there aint no d#ck in the world going to take me out if I can help it and I help it by being over cautious when it comes to having sex with men (I mean because they do always tell the truth, right??)
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  #35  
Old 01-13-2007, 03:16 PM
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when my man comes home we both will be tested.as it is he's been tested in and i've been tested out.after we both are assured of each other then it's on like a chickenbone.
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  #36  
Old 01-13-2007, 05:05 PM
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I love not using condoms with my man, but we have been together for 9 years. We never used them - I never liked them, because I like being able to be spontaneous and doing it then and there, and not having to worry about finding one (did you girls see the FRIENDS episode where Rachel and Monica had only one condom left and both of them wanted to have sex that night? LOL). I have been on the Pill since before he came home, and I also use the Pill to regulate my periods so I can get it whenever I want, or stop it from coming.

However, we did break up soon after he came home, and he was with another woman and he did not use a condom part of the time with her. So I do have my annual appointment at the end of this month and will be getting checked. I was also with another man when we broke up, and did use a condom.

The GOOD thing about condoms is that they ARE neater. I just hate the fact that I leak out ... him .... all night. Sometimes it's enough to get in the shower afterwards (how romantic! ).

We are both 29 and if I get pregnant, we're ready. But we're not TRYING. That's definitely something to take into consideration!
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  #37  
Old 01-13-2007, 05:45 PM
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I prefer un-protected but both parties have to get tested for STD's and as long as you can trust your partner to be faithful there should be no problem.
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  #38  
Old 01-13-2007, 06:16 PM
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Default Unprotected

i do prefer sex with my fiance unprotected. when we first got together we were both tested. he is only the 2 guy that i have had sex with "raw". i take my health very seriously. it is something not worth the risk.

having him use protection does not say you do or do not love him as much as you do. it means you love yourself and want to protect yourself from diseases and EEkk kids. and there is nothing wrong in that!
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  #39  
Old 01-13-2007, 06:22 PM
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I have protected sex in the beginning of a relationship, but as we are together longer and I am sure of him in general and that he is free of disease, I prefer to chuck the condoms and use alternative birth control.

Mainly because men hate condoms.
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  #40  
Old 01-14-2007, 09:33 AM
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For me I would NEVER have unprotected sex with someone I wasn't in a serious relationship with at this point in my life. Lord, back in the 70's we were having sex with everybody and I feel so fortunate to have gotten pregnant rather than gotten infected with an STD but I was lucky. We know more now and we need to integrate that knowledge into our lifestyles.

Having said that I have and prefer unprotected sex with Sebastian.

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  #41  
Old 01-14-2007, 09:47 AM
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lol at Patty why ya gotta talk bout what we did back in the day ??

Qq leaves that alone , hmmmmmmmmmmmm, I was a good girl I swear !!

as far as me , I am gonna see about me !! I read that book about the down low , now I love Jay & that is true & I don't worry bout that downlow with him , but I have a duty & responsibilty to myself & my kid's so , until we have been tested several time's ect & are living the day to day where I am comfortable , wrap it up !!

if he loves & respects me , my wishes should be okay with him , if not , I gotta take care of me & mine and our best interest

as far as a doctor saying protect ya self , I thiink it was a medical opinion not a personal one , get the downlow book , do a search on people in monogomous relationships and the eldery nbr of people who have contracted HIV thru sexual contact , that thought , it won't happen to me , then come see if ya change ya mind !!
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  #42  
Old 01-14-2007, 09:49 AM
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Chele ~ LOL what can I say I gotta keep it real, btw Jay is in Illinois right? He'll be tested before he gets out...

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  #43  
Old 01-14-2007, 10:05 AM
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Quote:
Lord, back in the 70's we were having sex with everybody
Yeah, but back then (as far as we knew) herpes was the only thing you could catch that a shot would not cure... I came of age in the 80s and was among the first of my peer group to believe that HIV was not a "gay disease" but an equal opportunity threat, so I was in the habit of either total monogamy after testing or consistant use of condoms from the very beginning... some of my friends thought I was paranoid but I've never had an STD.
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  #44  
Old 01-14-2007, 08:07 PM
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I got a test schedule 2 weeks after my man got out and he and I was tested and was negative. But this last time I haven't since I know he was tested there and I trust him. But if you don't follow your safe thoughts. Because I an still going to to get tested as soon as I can arrange a day
off but I am not protecting myself from anything except pregnacy.
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  #45  
Old 01-14-2007, 08:09 PM
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You do not need to reveal that you caught an STD from going "bare" for a couple of reasons. One being that he may look at you in a different light, and he will probably feel some animosity that you trusted some other guy with that, but are not trusting him with unprotected sex. I would just say that you aren't ready for that. Hell, you did wait for him for however long, that shows commitment. He should not need unprotected sex to demonstrate commitment. That's my two cents, I'm a guy, BTW.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Tested Love
Which do you prefer?? And why??


For some reason, baby has it stuck in his head that we are no longer using protection when he comes home. Lately, he speaks of going "bare" and I'm like WTH??? The last time I trusted a man on that level...I ended up with a STD. Luckily it was cureable, but I vowed that I would never take myself through that again. It took a toll on me emotionally. I've never mentioned the STD thing to baby, and I'm sort of afraid to because I don't want him to see me in another light.


Does whether you have (un)protected sex with a man or not equate to how much you care for him? If your man expected that from you...what would you do?


How in the world do I handle this????
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  #46  
Old 01-14-2007, 08:15 PM
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Its just a dumbass to be around here talking about having sex with everybody and not protecting yourself and lucky to just have babies.
Its no way I would be having sex and just getting pregnant by anybody
that got me that way. Its so sick! Just have all kinds of disable kids by
anybody,huh?All kinds of rashes,and diseases cause you didn't allow yourself time enough to find out something about the man's background history. Just have babies cause you can , huh? Its sick! Dingbats!
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  #47  
Old 01-14-2007, 08:23 PM
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I've known my man along time and I know he is isn't messing around in there and was tested when he went in and will test before he comes home ( Hep C & TB), so we wouldn't use anything; Plus, this is the man I plan on spending my life with, I want him to feel all of it you know what I mean!!!
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  #48  
Old 01-14-2007, 08:34 PM
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Longhaul, I don't think he meant any harm when he said it. He doesn't go around preaching that married people should use condoms. It's not like he has a bulletin board up that says that. LOL
It was just something he said to me after a personal situation I was going through. He was only trying to warn me and tell me to protect myself due to the situation I was in. He was just telling me that it's always best to use condoms. I don't think it was wrong, but I'm not married either. AND I know my doctor, and I know he's a nice guy and I wouldn't trade him for another. I don't know, maybe he had a few patients that were burned by their husbands or something. I'm sure it's not something he's preaching to his patients though. He delivers a lot of babies. But whatever. It's hard to explain.
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  #49  
Old 01-14-2007, 09:30 PM
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When me and Jason started dating, we both went and got tested before we had sex the first time. For a while we used protection, but we didn't that last couple of months before he went in.
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  #50  
Old 01-14-2007, 10:23 PM
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Quote:
I certainly prefer unprotected, it's more enjoyable for both of us.
Yeah me and my man stopped using protection too. And when he comes home we WILL began to start our family.
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