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Met While Incarcerated Were you introduced by a friend or family member after he/she was incarcerated? Did you meet as Pen Pals? This Forum is for you!

View Poll Results: You TRY to pay attention........
IF you do, you SHOULD be able to figure out you're being used 16 57.14%
EVEN if you do, OFTEN they're so good at it you can't tell until you're in too deep and hurt 12 42.86%
Voters: 28. You may not vote on this poll

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  #26  
Old 09-23-2019, 09:57 AM
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I think it takes two to tango... one who does it and one who allows it... there are red flags in any game the prisoner plays, some choose to see it and some choose not to see it... Listen to your gut and take it really slow at the beginning until you know each other for a while and I mean not 3 months but maybe at least 6 months and a few visits. Don't send money right away, don't offer anything materialistic.
Words are cheap and the first signs of butterflies in your stomach are just butterflies but not real love yet.
There's probably a catalog of red flags somewhere on here
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Last edited by MizzyMuffling; 09-23-2019 at 10:02 AM..
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  #27  
Old 09-23-2019, 04:11 PM
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I've been with my guy for almost a year now. Not once has he asked for money, or asked for anything that was unrealistic. He HATES that I pay for the phone calls. He won't let me send him stamps/envelopes/paper. He did just recently ask me to send him some photos of pro sports team logos so they could draw them. He's getting a new tattoo.

He's never once talked about going back to how things were, always about looking forward and what he wants to do with me, for himself, what changes he wants to make. He wants a family, he wants kids, he wants to get a job that's stable to help him stabilize himself.

He's never angry. Never yells, doesn't get mad at me for things. I missed a call one day, and he called back 45 min later and joked that I was ignoring him. He uplifts me to do amazing at school. He told me that I was better than a D in my math class. He called me when I lost my job and was all I'm sorry, it sucks. You'll find something better, you're worth better.
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  #28  
Old 09-25-2019, 11:24 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnieLove56 View Post
He's never angry. Never yells, doesn't get mad at me for things. I missed a call one day, and he called back 45 min later and joked that I was ignoring him. He uplifts me to do amazing at school. He told me that I was better than a D in my math class. He called me when I lost my job and was all I'm sorry, it sucks. You'll find something better, you're worth better.
I've read you out and we've privately chatted, you seem like a gem of a gal, no one would want to yell at you type of gal, BUT... damn, I can't help to wonder what my man will "really" be like after he's out, it will be ALL different!

Our personalities and beliefs aren't going to change, but will they feel altered with constant presence or easy access to one another and contact?

I'm wig'n out, like seriously! Yesterday my husband called 4 times and at the 3rd call I was like,"okay, I have to get back to work - call me tonight" then I get the 4th call and I'm working and huhu'ing him while he spoke - he even asked if I was paying attention to him, I was, I was multitasking. Which isn't something he's use to me doing - he's use to my undivided attention... uff, I am NOT use to giving any grow adult that much attention - and my kid is 22 now, so she is not all up on me anymore.

Over the weekend, I had him on speaker phone, which he dislikes, but I was getting reading (doing my make-up), in an earlier call I had already explained my daily plan - but hubby randomly asks why I'm doing my make-up if I'm just going to do laundry ... dude, really! Imagine the rapid head snap and mad dog look I gave to my cell phone, lol... these are just over the phone moments, I can't even imagine over night weekends or living together, my gawd, I'm really having anxiety here.

Truth is, I will be dating and literally getting to know my husband when he gets out - I can't have any expectations aside from following his parole conditions, being honest and having respect for one another. The rest is all up in the air - we both have unique personalities, we're sarcastic, both dominating, and a history of violence.

Don't get me wrong, I'm excited, but the man in prison is the man I have to leave in prison, in order to move forward.

Is this a normal thought?


Last edited by 408MoonGem; 09-25-2019 at 11:33 AM..
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  #29  
Old 09-25-2019, 12:08 PM
AnieLove56 AnieLove56 is online now
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Totally normal! You're gonna feel what you're gonna feel and no one can tell you different. Even if it wasn't normal. Honestly WHAT is normal these days?

It seems like you guys are so alike that's probably what's the anxious, nervousness that you're feeling. Myself and T? TOTALLY OPPOSITE ENDS OF EVERYTHING. We are that whole opposites attract kinda thing. I'm so reserved and shy and introverted, he's loud, obnoxious, very HERE I AM. Doesn't help that I'm also 5 foot 1 and he's six foot six. Like legit we are so opposite it's crazy but we have so much in common too.
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  #30  
Old 09-25-2019, 01:12 PM
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Originally Posted by AnieLove56 View Post
WHAT is normal these days?

It seems like you guys are so alike that's probably what's the anxious, nervousness that you're feeling.


I sure the heck do not know what normal is

Geezz, perhaps you're right, having a lot in common would mean I'm easily exposed can't be having that!! Jk.

I hear it all the time, opposites attract

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  #31  
Old 09-25-2019, 03:55 PM
AnieLove56 AnieLove56 is online now
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I know for me when I have so much in common with someone that we are so alike, I get super competitive and very territorial. Almost like no, you can't like that as much as me because I've liked it longer. And that makes me anxious around people cuz I worry they won't like me in that state of mind.
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