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  #1  
Old 02-14-2008, 07:37 PM
dcforjm dcforjm is offline
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Default Interracial relationships-are they treated differently in prison?

My husband is black and I am white. Does anyone else think that they treat him differently in the system because of that? Do you know if he will be denied parole because of that? He is starting to get depressed at IMCC and that worries me. Also he finally met with his counselor and she is a very religious person and he is not. So now he feels like he is really in for trouble. Does he keep this same counselor no matter where they send him? Any information would be appreciated.

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Old 02-15-2008, 09:47 AM
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caligrl4life caligrl4life is offline
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not sure about the inter-racial aspect, i'm sure they see it alot, so it shouldn't be an issue, but I will tell you that our guys DO GET DEPRESSED IN THERE!! my guy was stuck at Oakdale for over 61 days until they finally transferred him to ROCKWELL CITY (which is min/med security, for crying out loud, why take so long to figure that out??) he got worse and worse, towards the end; his attitude went from depressed to angry to almost suicidal! ...and his counselor was really hard on him... it's a sad sad state of affairs... just try and keep his spirits up with lots of letters, books and phone calls!! hang in there!!
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Old 02-15-2008, 12:49 PM
dcforjm dcforjm is offline
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I am trying to keep his spirits up. I have sent him several books and pictures of me. Also we seem to write every day which is great. It is just sometimes when he gets down he starts thinking negatively about us and then his letters are not good. But now I got good letters after two bad letters.
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Old 02-15-2008, 06:52 PM
In God I Trust In God I Trust is offline
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My husband is in IMCC GP and yes, IMCC has a lot of religious activities. But that isn't something that "counts." It has helped my husband tremendously but everyone is different.
Yes, he will have that counselor all the time he is in IMCC.
I'm wondering if some buddies have said anything to him about having a white wife and that is where the negative comes from? Do you get visits?
Does he take any of the self help classes that are offered? My husband is taking typing and it fills time. Being busy helps a lot. Does he have a job?
Depression is helped by yard time, walking or the gym. It has been too nasty for yard time lately. Does your husband eat the prison food? Mine likes it, but I can see if your's doesn't then having commissary money to get noodles and stuff would help.
How long is he in for? Is he in GP or waiting to go somewhere?
IGIT
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Old 02-15-2008, 08:20 PM
dcforjm dcforjm is offline
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He is currently waiting to go somewhere else. Now I am getting more worried because usually he calls me every other night but i have not heard from him by phone all week long and there is money on his account. His sentence is for 10 years and 5 years, we are hoping for parole after a couple but i think he is starting to think he wont get that even. I wish I knew someone else in IMCC that had someone there so I knew what was going on.
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Old 02-15-2008, 09:05 PM
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Just hang in there and stay positive for him. It is hard because you want to give them a hug and tell them everything will be OK, but all you can do is keep writing and telling him you love him and need him.
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Old 02-16-2008, 08:06 AM
peaches1212 peaches1212 is offline
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My guy is black & I'm white. I don't think that it is an issue of "race". My guy doesn't get "messed with" because of me. I think that maybe if he is depressed it could just be the situation he is in. It could be that being "locked up" is just starting to get to him. Especially if he doesn't think that he will get paroled in a few years. My guy got really depressed at the beginning. But it will get easier. Especially when he gets to where ever he is going. Really it never gets easier but more "comfortable".
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Old 02-16-2008, 08:10 AM
HOPE4FUTURE HOPE4FUTURE is offline
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I've found that it may depend on what state and facility that you are in. Even just a different facility in a different location of the state can have a different look on if the officers accept IRR. It is more accepted in some places than others.
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Old 02-16-2008, 08:32 PM
tarclay tarclay is offline
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I can't imagine that he would be denied parole because of the black/white relationship... I would assume that prison is probably like anywhere else in the "real world" ... My husband is black and I'm white... most of the time, I forget that we are two different races, but once in a great while, we will get a "look"... I'm guessing that prison is probably the same... just depends on the person. My husband and I went to visit my brother at Oakdale, and everyone was extremely nice to us... nobody treated us differently. Your hubby will get a new counselor once he is transferred... And to be honest, if the counselor is really religious, then she should accept him (and YOU) for the people that you are... not your color. Good luck with everything.
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Old 02-17-2008, 11:07 AM
In God I Trust In God I Trust is offline
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That was funny tarclay! I'm ?white?... whatever, and my kids are different colors. I forget all the time and when I look in the mirror, it's me who looks different to myself.
I wish my husband could trade counselors with your husband! Gladly trade.
IGIT
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Old 02-17-2008, 01:10 PM
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There is always going to be racial everything everywhere.. and it's sad! It shouldn't matter the color of ones skin, love knows no color, race, religion, etc.

Keep praying for your husband. He needs them. Just be there for him like you have been. Prison changed my husband drastically. He is not the same person he was before he went in.
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Old 02-22-2008, 02:24 AM
Lonelyhearts Lonelyhearts is offline
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My fiance went through all those emotion that has been posted above. It so sad about the crying part. When he first got in we were unable to talk to each other for over three weeks or so and when we heard each others voice the tears just came out pooring from both of us. He just kept saying I cant show emotion, Im not allow to cry. So I do the crying for both of us... There are going to be a lot's of up and down days. Just try to be strong.
Where my fiance is, probably 6% are white- yes there has been issue with that. But I don't think it's about who there other love one is, it's just the prison system.. But I just keep writing him and sending photo's and sending word puzzels, and articles that he might enjoy.etc.
Money in the Inmate Trust Fund account is also helpful even if it's a little- He does right about how he was able to buy a pickel or have a candy bar that week. That seem to put a on his written down words.
And he would love to trade places with your man's counselor. When he went in not sure. But now OH yah! he has taken some course and it has help him alot... So prayers were answered there for me.. Will see
I hope you hear from him soon. Take Care..... Hugs
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