Welcome to the Prison Talk Online Community! Take a Minute and Sign Up Today!






Go Back   Prison Talk > FOR FAMILY & FRIENDS > Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison
Register Entertainment FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 11-11-2016, 08:11 PM
Missmysweetface Missmysweetface is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Canada
Posts: 3
Thanks: 1
Thanked 2 Times in 1 Post
Unhappy Looking at losing him...just need support. Please.

My boyfriend is currently going through preliminary for a 1st degree murder charge. He is one of a handful charged in this case. The whole thing isn't making sense to me. The "witnesses" don't seem credible, the story seems all over the place and I know he didn't do it. That isn't just me being biased, either. I met him in high school when I was 15. I am now 20 and he is 22. He is also going through trial for a separate charge, and he has been in two different detention centers for almost three years now without sentencing.

His lawyer always seems confused and all over the place, and his track record isn't promising. He says things aren't looking too good right now for my baby.
I never in my lifetime thought I would be caught up in something like this. My boyfriend and I come from two different worlds, but we work together so perfectly. I'm in love with him like I never imagined i'd be capable of loving someone. I'm the first girl to ever meet his mother, and the first girl he ever said "I love you" to.

The thought of losing him for 25 to life knocks me breathless everyday, especially knowing that he would be being punished for something he didn't do. I feel so helpless and lost. I want to cry every second of every day. I'm so stressed out. No one around me can understand.

I just don't know what to do with myself. I'm so strong when I talk to him, but when I'm by myself I just break down and am overrun by my thoughts, all the "what if's".

I'm trying to remain hopeful and have faith. I'm running out of energy. I just need someone to talk to.
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #2  
Old 11-12-2016, 01:55 AM
missingdee's Avatar
missingdee missingdee is offline
She's Home! Moderator

PTO Moderator 

 

Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Metro Los Angeles, CA, USA
Posts: 2,740
Thanks: 3,061
Thanked 4,103 Times in 1,719 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Missmysweetface View Post
My boyfriend is currently going through preliminary for a 1st degree murder charge. He is one of a handful charged in this case. The whole thing isn't making sense to me. The "witnesses" don't seem credible, the story seems all over the place and I know he didn't do it. That isn't just me being biased, either. I met him in high school when I was 15. I am now 20 and he is 22. He is also going through trial for a separate charge, and he has been in two different detention centers for almost three years now without sentencing.

His lawyer always seems confused and all over the place, and his track record isn't promising. He says things aren't looking too good right now for my baby.
I never in my lifetime thought I would be caught up in something like this. My boyfriend and I come from two different worlds, but we work together so perfectly. I'm in love with him like I never imagined i'd be capable of loving someone. I'm the first girl to ever meet his mother, and the first girl he ever said "I love you" to.

The thought of losing him for 25 to life knocks me breathless everyday, especially knowing that he would be being punished for something he didn't do. I feel so helpless and lost. I want to cry every second of every day. I'm so stressed out. No one around me can understand.

I just don't know what to do with myself. I'm so strong when I talk to him, but when I'm by myself I just break down and am overrun by my thoughts, all the "what if's".

I'm trying to remain hopeful and have faith. I'm running out of energy. I just need someone to talk to.
Hi Missmysweetface, welcome to Prison Talk. We're glad you've found us.

I don't know what I can say that would make the situation better, but you're far from alone here. Many of us have lost loved ones to the system for periods of time. Some shorter than others. Some longer than others. Some met their loved one along the way through a friend or a pen pal ad or some other way. And some have actually been through the system.

Honestly, the best thing that you can do is take life a day at a time as it comes. I know that's not a cure-all answer, but in my journey the past five years with Dee, that has been the best course of action, and that is how I have kept from breaking down completely. Take things a day at a time. Find things that give my life meaning. Heck, I did an MBA program and started a business while she's been down...there is definitely life after incarceration.

I won't lie though, your boyfriend is facing a tall order. You're not obligated to post any details about his crime, of course (in fact we tend to discourage it because if law enforcement sees it and somehow connects it to your loved one's crime there is a chance it could be used against them in court.....remote, but not impossible....)

Just know that you are not weak. You may have moments where you feel weak...and that is 100% understandable. Even though I have been through many things the past five years, I have not been through anything quite like what you're going through right now. To stand by him as long as you have, to show him the support you've shown him...that's incredibly admirable. That's a display of love that a lot of people wouldn't make. I think you should give yourself some credit for being as strong as you have been, and I think you should allow yourself those weak moments. After all, if you didn't have those sorts of feelings from time to time, you'd start wondering if you were human, right? Pretty much. You are not weak. In fact it sounds like you're pretty wonderful for sticking this out.

Ultimately it sounds like what happens to him is going to be in the hands of that attorney and a jury. If he is truly innocent, then hopefully whatever the truth is will come out and he will be able to come home to you.

You are welcome to post here. And of course, if there is anything that you feel like talking about that you aren't comfortable posting about publicly, my inbox is always open.

Take a deep breath. What you're experiencing and feeling right now....is very normal considering the circumstance. You are not "weird." And you are not alone.

-E
__________________
The Colorblind Moderator (I'm not even going to try to use green down here, I'll embarass myself! LOL!) Currently assisting in all forums and actively monitoring Wives and Girlfriends in Prison and the California forums.

#ByeCDCR #TimesUp #HomeForChristmas
Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to missingdee For This Useful Post:
cockatoovic (12-28-2017), Fridyrr.Likn (11-27-2017), maytayah (11-12-2016), Missmysweetface (11-12-2016), Raf's Girl (11-12-2016), TASSSSH (11-13-2016)
  #3  
Old 11-12-2016, 01:06 PM
Missmysweetface Missmysweetface is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Canada
Posts: 3
Thanks: 1
Thanked 2 Times in 1 Post
Default

Thank you so much. Your kindness really did help. There are some days worse than others when the reality and seriousness of it all hits and it's hard not to break down. He says everything will work out and it's fine, and I try to believe him.

I guess really all I have the power to do is try to stay strong and keep faith.

Thank you again, missingdee. Lots of love your way. <3
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Missmysweetface For This Useful Post:
fbopnomore (11-12-2016), missingdee (11-12-2016)
  #4  
Old 12-13-2017, 11:21 AM
Missmysweetface Missmysweetface is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Canada
Posts: 3
Thanks: 1
Thanked 2 Times in 1 Post
Default

Hello, all!! It's been a long time--and yet, I really have no updates for you except that my boyfriend, after nearly FOUR years incarcerated, is still there with no trial, no bail application--nothing.

He and I have discussed professionally hiring a lawyer because he's been through TWO legal aid attorneys and his current lawyer basically has told him to figure out his defense himself, but seeing as how we're both in our early 20's, he's incarcerated and I'm working minimum wage part-time and going to college full-time, I have no idea how to get the money to hire him a lawyer.

His sister suggested a crowdfunding campaign and she talked me into it, so I set up a $60K campaign which has so far been unsuccessful.

We've been quoted upward of $100K.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to going about miraculously getting this money?

This is just additional stress on top of an already overwhelming situation that we don't need. It seems to just get worse every year. I just don't know what to do.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 12-20-2017, 02:48 PM
dutchs dutchs is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Canada
Posts: 27
Thanks: 0
Thanked 21 Times in 10 Posts
Default

Have you thought about trying to contact the Innocence Project? It might be a long shot but it couldn't hurt.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to dutchs For This Useful Post:
xolady (12-20-2017)
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
How do I say no to his mom's requests without losing her support? waiting1218 Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison 8 01-19-2012 02:54 PM
In need of support - I'm losing it today mrsparker2b Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison 24 09-14-2009 06:30 AM
need some support on losing weight kole1984 Dieting & Health 248 02-04-2009 05:08 PM


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 07:55 PM.
Copyright © 2001- 2017 Prison Talk Online
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Website Design & Custom vBulletin Skins by: Relivo Media
Message Board Statistics