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  #76  
Old 07-14-2012, 10:57 AM
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Good new from my man solicitor 'best case he has ever had'the other day, great visit for us today as we got to sit cuddling on an actual sofa with our daughter while we helped her with homework.
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  #77  
Old 07-15-2012, 03:28 PM
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Well ladies I am really happy to see I am not the only one that is not all poor me about any of this. It is what it is. NYDOC does not dictate our marriage in any way. Trust me we are just over half the way done with this sentence, but I am blessed. We have a very healthy happy marriage, built on trust, love, respect and GOD right in the middle of it all. Have a great day ladies!!!
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  #78  
Old 07-16-2012, 07:36 AM
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Relationship is at an all time high time right now. It's like we started over completely or something. There's been so much going on around us but it seems that nothing has been able to phase us. I don't know what to call it but everything is just as it should be and no I'm not talking about perfection, I'm talking about real love and its fantastical (yep thats what I meant to put).

Just wanted to share........
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  #79  
Old 07-25-2012, 02:57 PM
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My relationship with my man is amazing right now. Sure, there have been a few bumps in the road but by talking about it, we got it settled. He calls me everyday sometimes up to 3 times and tells me how much he loves me, that i'm amazing and that he wants me to be the mother of his children.

I got to see him the other day and he stared into my eyes telling me I'm beautiful and that he could just sit there all day listening to me talk. What I have with this man is a real, honest and respectful relationship with this man. He treats me well, has never been mean and if one of us has an issue with one another, we dicuss it rationally without yelling or fighting.

When he has a crappy day, he calls me and I try my best to make him feel better or lift his mood. He is amazing and despite his past mistakes or flaws, I accept all of them but most importantly I accept him as a person aside from everything else. I found my soulmate and even though its taken a while, it was worth it!
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  #80  
Old 07-26-2012, 06:53 PM
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Thankyou, Patty for asking us to post the positive things. Yes, he may be back in jail, but he isn't out on the street, he's sober and I know where he is. I do still love him and he is a great guy when he's got himself together. This might be just what he needed, some time to rethink his actions and his addictions. When he got out in March, I was so worried that he would do what he did do and that I would then lose my best friend. Well, this last incident has made him realize that he needs a true change of heart, not just to have good intentions. And, yes, I do still have my best friend.
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  #81  
Old 07-27-2012, 06:17 PM
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Smile How refreshing.

Today is my first official day as an inmates fiance. And my first visit here. It is so nice to read this positive account of your relationship. I was told today not to wait to just move on with my life and a bunch of what ifs. We dont live that way. we believe in us. so thankyou for the positivety.
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  #82  
Old 07-27-2012, 10:27 PM
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Default The love of my life

Although my husband is physically not here with me, he is always with me in my heart, spirit, and thoughts. We are newlyweds and I miss him so much. On my bad days, just the sound of his voice lets me know everthing will be alright. He is always on my side and even when the world turns their back on me, I know he has my back. We always tell each other "I love you" before we end our phone call each day. He makes me feel like a star struck teenager. I tell him all the time he is my hero, my knight in shining armor!! Gosh, I love this man!!!
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  #83  
Old 07-29-2012, 04:54 PM
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I've been lurking around this site for a while now since my baby began his time. As many of you have expressed, there is a WHOLE lot of negativity floating around many of these threads. It is extremely refreshing to have found a bunch of ladies who feel exactly how I do about this "situation" as I call it. I am absolutely head over heels in LOVE with MT baby. It makes me amazingly happy to know that our love and our positivity knows no boundaries and can transcend prison walls.
During this time, my baby and I have grown tremendously! We were together before but what we have now is simply AMAZING. We anchor each other and we both work hard to bring 110% to this relationship. We've gotten to know each other on a much deeper level and as much of a headache DOC can be, this situation has been a BLESSING! He is the peanut butter to my jelly, the hot sauce to my fried chicken, the ying to my yang, the sunshine to my blue sky... simply put- I LOVE MY MAN!
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  #84  
Old 07-29-2012, 11:33 PM
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After todays first time visit to victorville not having a thick pane of glass seperate us all is right with the world!! Ive known my husband of only ten months 28 years and have never seen him cry any other time than today other than the one time on his 40th birthday because he had been in and out of prison for 18 years and always for his birthday so it was pretty emotional. Hes back in for this one then by gods grace he will be out next year and if I can help never again, because he is a changed man and his tears today confirmed just that. Today I fell in love with my husband all over again and it increased by ten fold.
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  #85  
Old 07-30-2012, 04:09 PM
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so true ...

after my fiance was sentenced he told me that this was going to be a chance for us to grow and get to know each other without the physical, and it truly has. in the beginning it was tough but it has made us so much closer and has taught us so much about each other and ourselves, so deep down inside i am a bit grateful for this experience. it is only distance between us as we grow closer.
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  #86  
Old 07-30-2012, 07:46 PM
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Red face It takes faith & strength..

I am in full agreement. It is not all bad, like Patty says the only thing that I am missing is his presence next to me..
I am new to the site and saw it earlier this month when my hubby first was transfered. I came back because I too thought it would be nice to have people to talk to in a similar situation-to have the support of this sites community. Family and friends aren't always understanding as we would like them to be. My hubby & I have a wonderful relationship-we've been through our trials & tribulations, but we are best friends as well as lovers and one another's back bone. We just try and take it day by day and talk about positive things to create sum light in one another's day. We just keep our faith & remember that no amount of distance could touch our love.
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  #87  
Old 08-01-2012, 05:36 PM
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This thread just confirmed that I'm not crazy! Its nice to hear that relationships with those in prison can & DO work. My man brings me so much joy...its AMAZING! And I love him with everything in me. People already have a misconception about our situation as wives and girlfriends of those behind bars. They think we're lonely & miserable and the only man that we could find was behind bars for whatever reason. But let me tell you baby... CAN'T NOBODY COME BETWEEN THE LOVE HE & I HAVE FOR EACH OTHER! I have my days when I miss him but those are just DAYS! NOTHING COMPARES TO THE LIFETIME THAT I WILL SHARE WITH THIS MAN! He makes me smile in my heart and gives me joy in my soul. He loves as I am and for who I am and he makes sure I know it everyday. We too, believe destiny had a plan for the both us even in his given situation and we intend to embrace destiny 2GETHER 4EVER!

So Shout_Out to all my Ladies who hold it down POSITIVELY & the men we love...becuz they make it sooooo easy!
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  #88  
Old 08-10-2012, 02:16 PM
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I love him ao much. When im down he cheers me up. Everyday we talk we might not see eye to eye but that doesnt last very long. He tells me everyday that he loves me and thanks me for being in his life and i return the favor. We write each other like were having a conversation in front of each other. He makes my day everytime we tal just for 15 mins. I love my panda bear . He makes me smile and blush. I miss him but i can wait for him. Hes my bestfriend and i got his back and he has mine.
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  #89  
Old 08-12-2012, 02:56 AM
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I love my bf. We are so mentally connected that he called me back after we hung up a half hour before. He knew I was having a hard day so he waited in line to call back.
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  #90  
Old 08-17-2012, 12:37 AM
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I am new to the boards and I was initially put off by the negativity of some post, but this post makes me want to stay. I love my man and we are together even when we are apart. When I visit him it's as if only he and I are in the room even with all the commotion around us. They may have his body, but his heart and mind our mine
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  #91  
Old 08-17-2012, 08:24 AM
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Thanks, Patty, for confirming that I am not a loon! As much as I'd rather have my fiance at home, I HAVE a life - I work at a job I love (work-overload, included), I can pay my bills, have a bit to send to my "lobster." keep a roof over my head (and my son's), cut my own lawn, paint walls, visit sick friends and attend graduate school. I really, really, really needed a good dose of positivity about being part of PTO, and as always, the Universe pointed me in the right direction when I was ready for the blessing I needed!
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  #92  
Old 08-17-2012, 10:48 AM
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Thank you for this post! I have had the same thoughts as some of the other women replying to this post-why all the negativity? We love our man, whether he is a husband or boyfriend, gone for 2 years or life. Although my boyfriend has been gone for only a month, I have learned how strong we both are, and that we can make it through the next two years of prison. Positivity is crucial. Prison life is already hard on the prisoner and the family, why not exert positivity in other parts of your life; including posts that other people read! If we are positive together, and show support for one another, I feel as though this "experience" will be okay. Thank you for your wonderful post. I wont get to see my man for a long time, nor get to visit for about 6 months, but our phone calls and letters are perfect. We will grow emotionally and spiritually together, despite not being physically near one another.
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  #93  
Old 08-18-2012, 12:08 AM
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Thankyou for this thread Patty! My man sent me a really nice card today and 2 letters that had different background images that he was able to print off the computer at the library. Then he took the time to color them in. He is so sweet and thoughtful!
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  #94  
Old 08-21-2012, 08:14 PM
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I love this post.... I love my man and He is the only one for me, I couldn't see myself with anyone else. I can't wait til he is home but I know this is what he has to do to beable to move on this our lives. When bad things happen thats when you not only do you know who is there for you but what u are made of...

thank you patty for this post .......!!!! it is nice to know others feel the way I do about their man
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  #95  
Old 08-21-2012, 08:27 PM
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I too, enjoyed this post. I was very hesitant on joining this or any other site whatsoever but felt I needed to find others who could relate and share experiences with. I have a fb which I only use to communicate with my family being that we are very far away physically. I do not use it as a social network as I am a pretty private person. However I do worry about my husband. Simply because I do love him with all my heart. I know we our lives did not cross paths by mistake and I intend to stand faithfully by his side always and forever. I do not fear of him straying from me or finding another woman. Just like you, we share everything together and the only thing absent is him being home. He is my everything and I always tell him how proud I am to have him as my husband. My One & Only. Now and forever and if there is anything I can do to help his time go more smoothly then I do it. I keep him with me in my heart everywhere I go, with every heart beat and every breath I take. Our love is stronger than ever and I know that going through all of this that there is nothing life can hand us that we can't overcome.
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  #96  
Old 08-23-2012, 12:08 AM
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First off can I say FINALLY!

One thing he says he loves about me is how I always look on the bright side n try to remain positive.

Yeah sometimes I miss him physically but SO WHAT?! It's only natural. Anywho...he always makes it a point to find a new way to show me he still cares deeply and loves me.

I'm determined not to let his situation depress me. I strive for what I can accomplish in his absence so upon his return....he can babysit, work n watch me handle it with ease.

Yes I have considered being physically with another person but they can't replace him. Why sleep around when I can go to adamandeve.com?

I'm tired of being used by people when there's something better....Me finding out who I really am & what I really want & need.

Prison saved him bc right before he went in I had left him and made up my mind if he doesn't get it together I'm gone for good......once he got locked up I reached out to him...and he thought it was a joke, that was his reality wakeup call.

I came through when no one else did or wanted to...because love or not I genuinely care for him. We're drama free the only bd/BM drama we have is joking about why I don't have a letter
This is what keeps him going.

What keeps me going is I have my own life, my own issues, my own struggles and I'm too ambitious to throw an anger or pity party. Some days hurt but there's to much joy to dwell on the pain!

One thing he tells me is to enjoy my life and when he comes home he can take care of me, since I already have his heart....anyways I'm getting mushy

Bottom Line is when you keep running into brick walls you should GO AROUND or BUILD a HOUSE!
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  #97  
Old 08-24-2012, 03:19 AM
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I received good news yesterday.. my bf is being transferred from a medium prison to a low minimum camp! Althought he has about 7 months left, he was so excited! The best part of it is he will only be an hour and 45 minute drive away from my home so now I can visit him every week if I want to.

He is going to one of camps that has a very good reputation for doing time. He also has the chance to go out into society during the day and go to work. And upon his release, even though he will have 8 months of parole, no halfway house!

My man is on cloud 9 right now and I am happy for him. He made a promise to me that he wouldn't get involved in any b.s that happens in there where he would go to the hole, risk doing more time or having it go on his file. He has worked hard in there at the job he was at and many C.Os or other employees at the prison liked him.

I am very proud of him and this is one of the first of many steps he has taken to begin to turn his life around. I know he can do it and I believe in him. And in turn, he is beginning to believe in himself.
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  #98  
Old 08-24-2012, 03:02 PM
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As I am new to all of this AND I tend to be a pretty positive person in general I am so grateful for this thread. Thanks
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  #99  
Old 08-26-2012, 03:06 AM
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This thread is wonderful.

It's easy to feel like there's nothing but grief and angst that comes from being in a prison relationship...and yet thus far I've found that absolutely untrue. Since I've met J, the most unhappy I've been have been the times when he or I have not been communicating actively with one another. He's more of a presence in my life than many of the friends I've had since childhood who I met "on the outside".

Did I plan for it?

Absolutely not.

But then again, some of the best things in life come from the unplanned, unexpected surprises. It really has given me a chance to not only grow as an individual, but to learn more about myself in the process. J is an absolutely amazing man, even with his flaws. My father always has a way of saying that it's not about finding "the perfect person", because no one is perfect in life...it's about finding the person whose flaws fit against your strengths, and vice versa, in a way that helps you both be better people.

J is like that with me.

He's the most outgoing, gregarious, charming man I've ever met; so optimistic most of the time. He lifts me to new levels of confidence and happiness with his laughter and his sometimes almost brazen confidence, pulling me out of my bookworm-induced shell as he reminds me that I perform on stage for thousands and thousands of people all the time without batting an eye...and therefore shouldn't be shy talking to him. And yet when he gets to be too much, as he often fondly says, my calming, solid-as-a-rock personality brings him back to earth.

We compliment each other, as my father has always said. His flaws are where my strengths take over, and vice versa when my flaws show their ugly faces, his strengths step in and smooth over the rough edges. He's so intelligent, and I love that. We're both ambitious, with high expectations for ourselves...yet we both know how to slow down and appreciate life too. He's a romantic at heart; he can be so brutally honest with his feelings at times that he leaves me both stunned and humbled.

I don't care that I met him while he was in prison. I don't care about the fact that he made some grievous mistakes to get where he's at now. And by loving him, I've learned to be a stronger woman; one who can stand on her own two feet and stare down the disapproving looks of others until they finally back down because they realize I'm not ashamed. I'm so thankful for him. So very proud to say such a man loves me. And I'm looking forward to Tuesday, when he comes home and we can plan the next step in our relationship and our lives.

Thanks for this thread, Patty! I think I needed a moment to just gush about this man who was given to me wrapped in such a strange - and yet beautiful - package.
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Old 08-28-2012, 09:19 AM
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We weren't together very long before he got locked up, in his mind he gave me 2 months before I figured it wasn't worth it...well we are going on a year and I am still here by his side. As much as the distance and the situation sucks we've used this time to build a stronger relationship based on communication honesty and trust, not on sex. Actually we have never even had sex lol, but we have an intimacy to our relationship that goes beyond all that. He needs me as much as I need him. I support him mentally and emotionally, cool him down when he's about to do something stupid and he does the same for me. We have another year to go and I know without a doubt he is the ONE for me and when the day comes that he FINALLY gets to come home and we can have a normal relationship, I can be secure in the fact that he loves me unconditionally, as I do him, we have a connection that cannot be described by words. People can and do say what they want about his past and where he is, it doesn't phase me. He is a amazingly wonderful person with huge heart....and my motto....Sometimes good people do not so good things....it doesnt make them BAD....just thought I'd share a little of my positivity.... <3 CJP <3
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